Feels Thread

[Anonymous No.10319472]

Sometimes I feel sorry for how accessible lolita fashion has become. Back then you needed to deal with so many obstacles. Every brand purchase has become something extraordinary and precious. It doesn't feel that special anymore and I miss that.

Another feel is based on my observation about other people's outfits and their quality. So many people say that insta perfectionism has killed the spirit of lolita. Well, today I noticed that imperfect, maybe somewhat messy outfits bother me, so idk what do I stick to.

[Anonymous No.10319476]

Insta has killed the creative part in my opinion. People are focused on likes, new coord ideas usually dont bring enough likes, so you post what brings likes..

[Anonymous No.10319480]

>>10319476
fukken like hoars

[Anonymous No.10319485]

Yeah, I agree. It's more about getting likes on social media for some people. These people chase likes, popularity, e-fame or want to become an influencer. Not just in this fashion really but in general. A lot of these people are getting obsessed with perfection, some of them going as far as photoshopping themselves into some almost non-human perfect being or even getting surgery. Some lolita's buy popular prints/pieces just to get more likes, not because they love garment. Wear it a few times and then sell it, they don't really care cause they're done milking the likes for that pieces. I've seen several confessions on this board from people that got obsessed with reaching a certain number of likes on COF, if they didn't reach their "goal" they'd get depressed and salty. That's so unhealthy and sad.

[Anonymous No.10319486]

Yeah, I agree. It's more about getting likes on social media for some people. These people chase likes, popularity, e-fame or want to become an influencer. Not just in this fashion really but in general. A lot of these people are getting obsessed with perfection, some of them going as far as photoshopping themselves into some almost non-human perfect being or getting surgery. Some lolita's buy popular prints/pieces just to get more likes, not because they love these pieces. Wear it a few times and then sell it, they don't really care cause they're done milking it the likes. I've seen several confessions on this board from people that got obsessed with reaching a certain number of likes on COF, if they didn't reach their "goal" they'd get depressed and salty. There are even people on social media that buy likes or followers, how fkn sad is that? That's so unhealthy.

[Anonymous No.10319517]

>>10319476
Being more active on Instagram actually made my coords more creative, beforehand I would mostly just rewear my same favourite coordinates, but because you can't repost the same stuff all the time I combine my pieces in more unexpected and interesting ways.

[Anonymous No.10319522]

>>10319517
Whats happening is that they are blaming IG for the stagnation of Lolita instead of realizing that its the constant nitpicking of cgl that is leading to this issue. People didnt try to make a perfect outfit because of ig, but because people here will nitpick things to death out of boredom.

Ita threads are mostly just making fun of people who are new or vendettas, with nitpicks including things like nail polish isnt the right colour or the bow isnt exactly perfect. Or pulling up unflattering candids to call someone fat. Cof is dying because why would you post there knowing you will get dumb comments here that people pretend is "concrit", when you can actually interact with others on ig and bounce ideas off eachother.

The less care about likes and cgl comments the more you will actually enjoy trying new things out. But cgl will never realize that they did this to themselves.

[Anonymous No.10319527]

I just really hate all the tasteless idiots on FB. So many of these noobs just have...such bad taste and style. I can’t handle it.

[Anonymous No.10319530]

>>10319522
I think you're giving /cgl a lot of credit it doesn't really deserve. The amount of lolitas that actually use /cgl is relatively small. I doubt there are enough /cgl users to influence much of anything, although if you never step outside the /dgl bubble and into the real world you might believe they can,

[Anonymous No.10319536]

>>10319530
As someone who has been to tons of local and international meets, I can tell you for certainty that every lolita at these events are aware of cgl. A big chunk of them read it, even if they do not post. Every efamous lolita has been here, every popular person to hate has been on here, and for sure it is talked about locally in communities. I had these conversations with hundreds of people about why or why not they post on certain platforms. It matters more than you think.

Its easy to pretend that cgl is small but 4chan is a huge website and cgl is a big part of the lolita community. I hate that it is this way because it shows that we are missing something for the community to use, but for sure the attitude here seeps outside of this place.

[Anonymous No.10319549]

>mfw /cgl/ is more lolita than 'western' cosplay

[Anonymous No.10319553]

>>10319549
Lolitas fucking ruined this board. It was actually interesting back when we could talk drama and shit. Now this board is slow af and if a post is thought to be even SLIGHT vendetta it’s deleted. That’s why half the cosplayers left and this board is overrun with lolitas crying about boring shit and threads last for months.

[Anonymous No.10319554]

>>10319553
You know as much as me that 4chan brings liberty in discussing cosplay subjects without being subjected to the highly judgemental environment we're in.

Hell, if your topic/post isn't about lolita, it's much less answered than a lolita post or topic. It's not even funny.

I just qaned a place where I could discuss subjects freely, like 4chan.

[Anonymous No.10319560]

>>10319553
when moot left, he said something along the lines of "be the poster you want to interact with." If you aren't happy with the content you see, start threads you want to be a part of.

[Anonymous No.10319588]

>>10319553
Then make more cosplay threads if your not happy. Unfortunately, most cosplay threads are made by worthless cross boarders who don't integrate and ask stupid repetitive questions, or think they can use this board to get a loli gf or get porn.

[Anonymous No.10319593]

Had a lolita laundry day today. It feels good to take time and give my blouses and whatnot some love. Looking over some lesser valued pieces made me a little upset though. The overlock seam on my bloomers has split and spread a couple of millimetres over my butt area. I blame the stitching. At least they're not broken. I can easily fix it. It probably split due to a lot of movement and strain... I'm not fat, am I?

[Anonymous No.10319598]

>>10319593
Probably not. It happeneds over time. At least you saw it before you wore it!

[Anonymous No.10319600]

>>10319560
>moot
who?

[Anonymous No.10319603]

>>10319553
lolita is in the name of this board. the 'gl' in /cgl/ stands for 'gothic lolita'. Lolita has been here all along.

[Anonymous No.10319604]

>>10319600
>being this new

[Anonymous No.10319607]

I wish I cared about myself more. I love browsing cgl and looking at pictures that give me inspiration and fill me with joy. My wardrobe is at a place I'm really happy with, and I just hauled a bunch of really adorable and unique accessories.
But I just can't bring myself to take care of me. I'm always in pajamas. I can go a week or more without showering. I'll blink, and 4 or 5 days have gone by. Those accessories and clothes I just bought are still sitting in my suitcase. I did a huge load of laundry and it's just been sitting on my bed for days. I've even been sleeping without a sheet on my mattress. Because it's clean, but I'm not. I feel like everything I touch, I just make dirty.
I get these sparks of inspiration where I start to clean my room, or shower regularly, but after a few days I end up like this again. A week goes by without me realizing, and I'm disgusting and dirty and unworthy of all the cute things I love.

[Anonymous No.10319608]

>>10319600
Please be a troll.

[Anonymous No.10319612]

>tfw no oc
>tfw no drama
>tfw orbiters pushed people away from this site to a plethora of spin off sites which are also slow as shit
>tfw social media and orbiters turned cosplay into a serotonin machine for people who want self validation

[Anonymous No.10319618]

>>10319604
>>10319608
It's a meme you dip

[Anonymous No.10319619]

>>10319517
Same here, on one hand I hate the pressure of always coming up with something ~new~ on the other hand I do enjoy the challenge. I have found that nothing bad happens to my "like count" when I don't post for a couple days longer than usual. Plus it's pretty useful to look through my insta whenever I don't feel particularly creative and draw inspiration from my previous posts.
>>10319603
I think anon was referring to how much drama lolitas brought upon this board to the point where the no circling out rule had to be implemented.
>>10319607
I'm sorry you're going through this anon, depression is a real bitch. Is it possible for you to get therapy? No matter what, you are worthy and I know what those feels are like cause I've been there before. Take baby steps, instead of going "I will take a shower now" try "I will go to my bathroom and splash some water on my face and then apply deodorant". It's small but better than nothing. What personally helps me is that my room looks the way I like it so it's contributing to lifting my spirits up. It actually became even better after the KonMari method cause I'm now only surrounded by things I love. I understand if it's too overwhelming now though, it took me a long time to get to this point. I still get my lows but luckily they're not as bad anymore and also shorter. I hope you will get better anon, I really do. And you deserve all those cute things that spark joy, don't let your brain tell you otherwise it's mean. Maybe take out just one accessory now just to look at it.

[Anonymous No.10319631]

>>10319607
I feel for you anon, I’ve been there. You are not undeserving of your things, and you are worth taking care of. If you’re having a hard time keeping up with hygiene, do something small like brushing your teeth - it’s easier to get around to than taking a shower, and it’s something that tends to help you feel a little more put together

[Anonymous No.10319637]

I lost my boyfriend who has been my con partner for 6 years. Aside from the wishing for death, it hurts to look at the cosplays we were working on. We were going to a con next month as Kaguya and Shirogane, as their relationship paralleled the beginning of ours so perfectly. It was like someone made a series about our life. Everyone always loved our couple cosplays, and we were so excited for this one. I am kicking myself for never taking a photo of us wearing it, even in its WIP state. Life is fucking cruel

[Anonymous No.10319638]

>>10319472
It's because these days, doing anything that isn't plain and cookie-cutter will get you called ita. Creativity and uniqueness is now a bad thing. Pretty sad.

[Anonymous No.10319641]

>>10319637
It will pass, anon. I've gifted my ex a First Order stormtrooper armor set. We were planning things together, we were con partners too and everyone was happy we got each other. but life has that.

You're still in pain, so don't come to conclusions so quickly. Most importantly - do not be hostile towards your ex partner. We don't need more drama in the cosplaying community. Last year, along with me, other two friends had breakups, and they were all cosplayers too. This makes coexisting and going to conventions unbearable - because their exes were hostile towards them.

[Anonymous No.10319642]

>>10319637
>6 years
>never proposed
Hope you learned your lesson. 2-3 years should be the absolute limit you stay with a guy without him proposing, otherwise it's going nowhere.

[Anonymous No.10319646]

>>10319642
Well shit, guess my very happy relationship isn't worth having without a ring on my finger.

[Anonymous No.10319653]

>>10319646
Sure, there might be rare outliers where people are with each other for a long time without marrying. But for the vast majority, if a guy isn't willing to put a ring on it, it means he never took it very seriously and will end it easily. People should know better by now and not waste their time.

[Anonymous No.10319659]

>>10319472
The same thing sort of happened with the anime and cosplay scene. We used to be united by hardship, we were the nerds who'd been bullied for our interests, we had to jump through all kinds of hoops to watch the newest stuff out of Japan, and if somebody was wearing a costume chances are they made it themselves and really loved the character. Now cons are full of people who grew up with anime as a normal, socially acceptable thing that was on TV since they were kids and most costumes are flavor of the month shit bought of the rack to wear once and then forget about.

[Anonymous No.10319661]

>>10319653
As a guy who's been in that situation, it isn't necessarily a matter of not being serious. I was with my ex for five years and thought about proposing quite a few times but I was never sure if she was ready, or whether it was really the right thing to do. Breaking up was the right decision and I should've done it a lot sooner than I did but I was deathly serious about staying with her for the rest of my life for most of the time we were together, I guess I just knew somewhere deep down that it wasn't going to work.

I do, however, know a couple who've been together for something like 15 years and only just got married a few months ago.

[Anonymous No.10319683]

>be me
>33 year old guy
>been going to cons since I was 14, it's pretty much been my whole adult social life
>broke up with cosplayer ex almost 7 years ago
>tried dating outside the scene, just can't get into it.
>know pretty much everybody in my age range in my region's con scene and if any of them were gonna date me it would've happened long ago
>feel like a complete creep even thinking about going after younger women
>not sure what to do, can't just keep going like this and spend the rest of my life alone and celibate

[Anonymous No.10319686]

>>10319683
>tried dating outside the scene, just can't get into it.

Me too, fuck. It's like i'll never find anyone who tolerated cosplaying dynamics (getting dragged in the hallways to take pictures, stand in the same place for hours, walk the whole convention center a hundred times a day, etc).

Althoug the ladies in my area are particularly all fucked up in the head, or they already have a partner.

And that's how we kinda walk wihtout wanting, to the celibate and alone way.

[Anonymous No.10319695]

>>10319686
I wouldn't say the same about the girls in my area, some are fucked up for sure but with a lot it's just that the mutual interest just isn't there. It also doesn't help that we've all been immersed in one another's dramas for the last 10+ years. Also, there are just opportunities that slipped away and the interest gradually faded, situations where you look at somebody and can't help comparing them to their 10 year younger self that you remember, and so on.

I think one of the big things that's really fucked up for me is just aesthetic taste. Even when not cosplaying people just look different at cons. Girls wear different kinds of clothes, different hairstyles, different kinds of makeup, and so on and I don't know if it's because of anime or just because of spending so much of my life around cons but it really appeals to so much more than current mainstream fashion does.

[Anonymous No.10319698]

>>10319642
This is terrible advice, Christ, no wonder the divorce rate is so high

[Anonymous No.10319699]

>>10319698
the divorce rate is high because people get married too young, which is another stupid mistake

[Anonymous No.10319700]

I’m holding on to a lot of old-school pieces that I own with the intent of wearing them when I feel I’ve grown out of more of my pastel sweet phase and I’m feeling conflicted about it lately. I’ve collected a lot of pieces, including things like the black color way of the Elizabeth OP, and the Shantung op in white, etc, and I haven’t worn them since I’ve acquired them. Even if I never end up wearing them there’s this voice in my head telling me that I have to hold onto them because I’ve been in the fashion so long and that they’re sort of a “living record“ if I hold onto them. Every time I see people looking for these things it hurts me though, and I don’t know what to do.

[Anonymous No.10319704]

>>10319641
Thanks anon. Honestly I have nothing bad to say about him, he was the most kindhearted man I have ever met. I honestly don't even feel like I want to cosplay anymore, even though it was such a huge part of my life
>>10319642
He was my con partner for 6 years, boyfriend for 3. He was a late addition to our con group, and he made it so we had 6 people, so everyone had a cosplay duo partner until me up to that point. It honestly felt like fate that we just happened to be paired up

[Anonymous No.10319716]

>>10319699

>don't marry too young
>dump his ass if he doesn't propose in 2-3 years

So... are you seriously suggesting 7 year long engagement periods?

[Anonymous No.10319730]

>>10319716
I'm suggesting people don't date super seriously/get engaged until they are done with school and have started their career. Which is what smart people do anyway.

[Anonymous No.10319743]

>>10319730
Most people finish university at 21-22, and some college or technical programmes are even shorter. So after that, that would put them at the 23-25 range, which is still incredibly young to get married.

[Anonymous No.10319745]

>>10319743
>incredibly young
Not... really? That is a pretty normal age for marriage.

[Anonymous No.10319747]

>>10319743
People that age wouldn't have a career by then though. They would just be starting out at a job, if they even know what they want to do for sure. 25+ where both people are done with school and into their career is fine for marriage.

[Anonymous No.10319764]

>>10319607
Anon that sounds straight up like depression

Just take baby steps, you know? Start by getting up at a good time, then brush your teeth, etc

You can do it!

[Anonymous No.10319766]

>>10319700
Reads less like a feel and more like you need attention for having hoarded a collection of sought-after dresses. Sell them if you need the money, the closet space, or no longer feel attached to them. Keep them if you have sentimental feelings as holding on to them isn’t hurting anyone. How is that not common sense to you?

[Anonymous No.10319768]

>>10319766
You just sound jealous. OP explained her reasoning

[Anonymous No.10319769]

>>10319745
More people should wait until after their twenties for that kind of commitment

[Anonymous No.10319771]

>>10319768
I am not sure how any of that’s reads as jealousy but considering the low IQ reading comprehension of this board nothing surprises me.

[Anonymous No.10319772]

>>10319619
Lolita was NOT the reason the "no singling out" rule was implemented, it was cosplayers with their constant hate threads of pixyteri, kipi, pikminlink, Ashley, miyu, that sailor moon chick, etc. Cosplayers were way worse than lolitas ever were

[Anonymous No.10319773]

>>10319768
I’m not sure how any of that reads as jealousy, but considering the low IQ reading comprehension of this board nothing surprises me.

[Anonymous No.10319776]

>>10319773
>REEE STOP TALKING ABOUT THE PIECES YOU OWN YOURE JUST BRAGGING
>I’m not sure how any of that reads as jealousy

Yeah, there sure is someone with a low IQ in this thread alright.

[Anonymous No.10319781]

>>10319745
No it isn't.

>>10319747
Anon said "started their career." If you go to school, presumably you start working in your field when you're done, which is the start of a career.

[Anonymous No.10319782]

>>10319554
>>10319553
Not the fault of the Lolita threads you mongs

[Anonymous No.10319816]

>>10319618
i'd be more inclined to believe this if most people weren't actually this stupid

[Anonymous No.10319827]

>>10319781
I don't know where you live, but 25 is an extremely normal age to get married in most of the western world. Remember, the average age of marriage also includes all the people who never get married, so it's deceptively inflated.

People meet in college and get married about 5 years after dating, typically.

[Anonymous No.10319831]

A listing of an op i'm after expired not too long ago and nothing else I really want has come up since. I keep trying to message the seller about it. No response, rejection, nothing. I know people go inactive sometimes, but the seller still has other listings up, so its only a matter of time before they respond, right? RIGHT?!

I don't know gulls. The dress isn't obscure, but it also isn't very popular, so it doesn't pop up in my preferred colorway too often. I just want it now, or yesterday, and nothing else has caught my eye since.
Why did I let it slip through my fingers?
Why does this always happen when I have money to spend?

[Anonymous No.10319851]

>>10319827
forgot to add: average is also naturally skewed high because people can get married as late as 99 but never earlier than 16-18.

[Anonymous No.10319854]

>>10319851
There are 3rd world countries where you can marry a girl as young as 12.

[Anonymous No.10319861]

Imagine you get to fuck her in the ass and she smells like a restaurant and girl sweat and ass but it's really warm and slippery and then you pull out and she goes "Oh no I got your cock all dirty" and then gets down (that's what the kneepads are for) and starts sucking you clean

[Anonymous No.10319863]

>>10319472
Is it just me, or do they look like birds on a branch?

[Anonymous No.10319866]

>>10319861
I would be more concerned about why my penis is floating in air

[Anonymous No.10319870]

>>10319776
nobody once said they were bragging and anon even told them to keep the dresses.

[Anonymous No.10319872]

>>10319776
Nobody said OP was bragging you nonce.

[Anonymous No.10319873]

>>10319861
What the fuck is it with western "hentai" weirdoes and Haruhi? They don't even draw her as anything that relates at all to the character anymore, they just stick her head on whatever body and situation fits their personal fetishes.

[Anonymous No.10319877]

>>10319873
She has an actual personality we remember her with, so it's like fucking a girl we know instead of some random anime girl.

We just really like Haruhi and her bitchy cunt personality.

[Anonymous No.10319879]

>>10319877
Yeah but that doesn't explain constantly drawing her completely out of character and off model.

[Anonymous No.10319881]

>>10319772
THIS. cgl was most dramatic, vendetta-filled and off-topic when the tripfag circlejerks were at their peak and ALL of them were cosplayers. If you go to the farm you’ll find one comatose lolita thread but several active threads about cosplayers. Let’s face it, the cosplay side of the board is dead as a result of the self-inflicted drama ban and all that drama has been moved off-site. The fact that lolitas can still thrive on this board after the drama ban actually proves they’re less dramatic than cosplayers.

[Anonymous No.10319883]

>>10319879
We want Haruhi, this girl who we know, not some random anime girl with no personality, in our fantasies.

Guys want to fuck Asuka over random hentai drawing because it's like they know her, they know Asuka's personality.

[Anonymous No.10319902]

>>10319607
Get you some SSRIs and go on walks,in your pjs if you need to. Drink water and eat fruit, and learn to love yourself. I've suffered with muh mental healths for over 15 years, and I'm only just starting to even like myself.
Bless you anon, and take care.

[Anonymous No.10319903]

>>10319902
>Get you some SSRIs

Harmful physically addictive drugs that destroy your brain and when you build a tolerance or stop cause brain zaps and all sorts of horrible withdrawals

[Anonymous No.10319906]

>>10319903
Yeah but they stop my period, it's great.

[Anonymous No.10319918]

>>10319476
On the contrary, even though I don’t use insta that much, I do like seeing others posts for ideas and drawing out coords

[Anonymous No.10319919]

>>10319816
Nayrt but anon was joking. Just like when kat von d said Who? when someone asked them about Jeffree Star after they stopped being friends

[Anonymous No.10319924]

My wardrobe only consists of dresses and I want to start wearing skirts but I’m kind of nervous because my legs are long and my butt is big so all casual skirts tend to be shorter in the back

[Anonymous No.10319951]

>>10319536
I agree. I started to actually use cgl a few months ago but I was aware of it (and scared of beeing posted in the ita thread) since my interest for lolita has born.

[Anonymous No.10319956]

how do I recover from grief over the lost sale, anony?

[Anonymous No.10319961]

>>10319607
As someone who went through it I have to say, you can do it! The fact that you have motivational impulses, even temporary ones, is a good sign.
As others have said, baby steps are the best way. Try to evolve until you can keep your environment organized, even if it's just your room. When my room is tidy I feel much better, even I'm always having relapses. But it's fine, they are part of the process.
Sometimes when I can't do anything, I call a friend and ask him to come visit me in a few hours. The pressure forces me to tidy up and then I have the reward of spending some pleasant moments. Maybe this works for you.
Another thing to keep in mind is that when you get better (and you will) you will feel worthy of the cute things you love, and that's a wonderful feeling. And not only feel that you deserve it, but also that they fit you perfectly, they are part of who you are.

[Anonymous No.10319978]

>>10319956
Cry a little but get back up and wait until another one is listed again

[Anonymous No.10319986]

Last night was the third time already in 2020 (if you count the dream I had the night before new year's eve, anyway) when I had a dream that predicted the future. I have a package that, according to the tracking shown yesterday, should be delivered tomorrow. I had a dream last night where it was delivered today instead. I checked the tracking again today some time after waking up. And it changed to saying it will be delivered today.

[Anonymous No.10319993]

>>10319956
what did you miss, was it something that rarely pops up or not?

[Anonymous No.10320000]

>>10319993
Not too rare, but it was brand new for price under retail. It’s the second time I’m bullshitting over the tagged thing. Last time I missed on it because I postponed the purchase thinking nobody wants it.

[Anonymous No.10320003]

>>10320000
I know the feeling, was waiting to purchase a coat off LM till I got some loaned money back from a friend and right on the day I get the funds I see its sold. It'd been up for weeks and damn I should have just asked the seller to hold..

Ended up snagging the brand version on the coat for a fair price though so here's hoping you will find your piece soon!

[Anonymous No.10320006]

>>10319986
it's called deja vu and is not uncommon

[Anonymous No.10320019]

>>10319854
Yeah I was talking about western and 1st world where the average is like 28.

[Anonymous No.10320045]

everything hurts and i want to die

[Anonymous No.10320085]

>>10320006
That’s not what deja by is at all. It’s the feeling that something that’s currently happening has already happened before, which is very not what they described.

[Anonymous No.10320115]

>>10319486
>Some lolita's buy popular prints/pieces just to get more likes, not because they love these pieces.

True but I think flexin was always a big part of Lolita culture, even bevore Instagram.

[Anonymous No.10320138]

I got two big dream items in the mail today.
Good feels.

[Anonymous No.10320148]

>>10319924
Wear dance shorts underneath and/or find skirts with built in shorts?

[Anonymous No.10320168]

>>10319553
aw you can't bully people as easily on your favourite board anymore. cry me a river.

[Anonymous No.10320173]

I have a weird feeling about the egirl trend/subculture. It's like it took all the anime kawaii fashion spillover but none of the integrity..

It feels like its pandering for male attention and being the hot girl. I don't blame the actual girls for this I feel like that's just how they have become brainwashed by the current culture. And ofc instagram turned it up to the max. But it makes me sad to see these girls trying to blatantly to appeal to men and not themselves? Or just idk be cute for the hell of it or something else... I got into jfashion in HS in mid -late 2000s and I saw it as finally an escape from sexualization. Fun colors, just enjoying how things look, not worrying about being sexy, pandering to the male gaze.

Now thanks to too much moe obsession kawaii has turned into something that is the male gaze again. I'm just so sad..

Does anyone else feel the same way?

[Anonymous No.10320178]

>>10320173
it’s literally just modern scene. chill bro

[Anonymous No.10320204]

>>10320173
I feel you so much. Kawaii clothes, goth clothes, normie clothes, it is all sexualized and teens are more than OK with it thanks to instagram.

[Anonymous No.10320207]

>>10320204
back in my day, teens didn’t wear crop tops and booty shorts!!! they wore potato sacks when they went out to the nickelodeon for a soda pop and LIKED IT

[Anonymous No.10320219]

>>10320173
Fun kawaii jfashion turned into ddgl "fuck me daddy uwu" clothes
Edgy goth/emo turned into "egirl goth gf, I'm the sexy Cool Girl" fashion
Whatever normies were into turned into Kayle Jenner and the Kardashians shit

And everyone is an special snowflake who doesn't smile in their selfies, has the same drag makeup with the biggest eyebrows, and the personality of a wet towel, plus the horny male attention spice.

Picture is an example, although no idea who it is, I don't follow people who aren't genuine and want attention.

[Anonymous No.10320227]

>>10320207
I'm not saying that we didn't wear fun stupid sexualized for our age clothes back then, but that now every fashion outlet became sexualized

[Anonymous No.10320232]

>>10320207
No one is fucking saying that.

Back in "my day " teens WERE wearing crop top and all that shit and I was bored and uninterested in that. I discovered jfash and it was free of sexualization. It was something different. Now it's just more of the same shit and there is not much out. I guess that vsco girl thing whatever that it. Super normal boring fashion but isnt sexy and therefore disliked. Strange how the tides turn.

[Anonymous No.10320239]

>>10320219
>I first I was like "fuck you pay me"
>but then I was all "how many dildos do I have to fit in my ass at once to afford rent this month?"
All in all? Fuck them and their completely stretched holes, they asked for this.

Yest it's disgusting to see cosplay as a literally sex business. Unless they're cosplaying Stephanie from Lazy Town, but they never do so...

[Anonymous No.10320242]

>>10320232
Anon you're really right, VSCO has short shorts, dumb looks, and yet it isn't as sexualized as
(the previously disliked by the mainstream) alt fashion.

the tides have turn indeed... at least VSCO girls look like they have fun, like hownsome early alt fashion was supposed to be

[Anonymous No.10320250]

>>10320239
I agree so much
Call me a swerf like the tumblrites do but sex work will never be a respectable job, and as much as these girls are pretty, hot and look aesthetically pleasing, they're all the same brand of e-thot whore who sell their poorly shot and filtered videos for 3.99 with 3 dildos shoved on their body and ahegao expression who think they're "liberated" and "pro-women" when they're just ridiculous snowflakes who spend their day on instagram looking for validation from horny people.

[Anonymous No.10320257]

>>10320250
Being called a swerf or terf is just rebranded misogyny. Men have always hated women speaking up for themselves and feminists. Remember when being called a femin6was supposed to be an insult? Well it still is just under the guise of wokeness.

It was so nice to have alt fashion growing up outside of sexualization.
And it's so pathetic seeing normie guys saying they want a goth gf now. They used to call goth gross and unattractive. They arent there to be YOUR gfs or for YOU to look at..

[Anonymous No.10320258]

>>10320250
>think they're "liberated" and "pro-women"
that alone is the sadest thing of it all

[Anonymous No.10320265]

>>10320250
Blame the cum-brained males who pay for that shit.

[Anonymous No.10320269]

>>10320265
why not both?

[Anonymous No.10320286]

>>10320265
>>10320258
>>10320257
this.

This is the feels thread so I really want to get something off my chest.
Recently the guy I like, a nerdy shy smart awkward boy that I thought was gentle and genuine, told me that his first time was with a prostitue and the way he descrived the encounter sickened my stomach.
I've been reading a lot of radfem stuff recently and I'm very anti prostitution (and anti porn to some degree, definitely anti e-thot like >>10320250 )
Thing is I still really like him, I still do, but my feelings are conflicting. I know this isn't /adv/ but this is burning me inside, this makes me cry sometimes even. What should I do?

[Anonymous No.10320296]

>>10320286
How is this even a question? Distance yourself from him ASAP. No decent man would fuck a hooker, it is literally one of the biggest red flags you could possibly get.

[Anonymous No.10320297]

>>10320286
Prostitution is the only way out of virgin town for many.

[Anonymous No.10320301]

>>10320286
have you considered joining an evangelical church? 10/10 would absolutely get along great with you

[Anonymous No.10320303]

>>10320286
Your gut feeling is right. Trust it. However I can see that your problem is not being able to reconcile his nice persona with the hidden disgusting ugly one. I would say dont get serious with him but get to know him as a person more. His ugly traits will keep stacking.

Having sex with a prostitute and in a gross way like that is not something to just brush off. The second red flag is him telling you about it in such a happy way. That's two red flags you've got right away.

[Anonymous No.10320307]

>>10320296
I agree so much, yet for some ungodly reason I keep going back
>>10320297
I know, but it still hurts
>>10320301
>le religious bait eksdee
guaranteed replies

[Anonymous No.10320310]

>>10320297
>>10320301
Dont let these kinds of people shame you into knowing what is bad. Dont let them push you into accepting being in a relationship with red flags just because they think its ok

[Anonymous No.10320315]

>>10320297
On that note, why are men so concerned about not being virgins?

[Anonymous No.10320322]

>>10320307
If you got any other questions I can give my opinion. I'm a male btw, didn't lose it to prostitutes cause I got lucky, I've never went to prostitutes, even when I was invited to one while I was still a virgin.

Why does it hurt you that he went to a prostitute. Like he fucking a prostitute is wrong because he is supporting prostitution? Sort of agree. But you know, shy... awkward, you don't have an easy time with women that way.

[Anonymous No.10320325]

>>10320315
It's a shame for us. Like you're not good enough, you know?

[Anonymous No.10320330]

>>10320286
He basically admitted that he's trash. Bail.

[Anonymous No.10320333]

>>10320315
>>10320325
Any woman would much rather be with a virgin than someone so concerned about virginity that they would pay for a prostitute. By far.

If you're a virgin don't buy into this nonsense. Women don't consider you not good enough for that.

[Anonymous No.10320344]

>>10320333
>Women don't consider you not good enough for that.
I would say a good deal of them do, maybe I'm wrong, but that's what it seems like to me. I'm not a virgin btw.

[Anonymous No.10320349]

>>10320325
Shame. I think what is attractive about men is more about your personality than if you have had sex or not. I wish this mentality died

[Anonymous No.10320351]

>>10320344
Are you a guy or a girl though?

As a woman, 100% of women I have met in my life prefer a virgin over a prostitute user. We really could not give two shits if you're a virgin and want a serious relationship.

[Anonymous No.10320355]

>>10320344
That's so silly, I think virgin men are super cute.

[Anonymous No.10320359]

>>10320349
>>10320351
>>10320355
Maybe ur virgin fetish is showing, gulls. Jk, well I remember recieving that message from TV shows, etc. I guess it wasn't the full truth, very refreshing 2bh.

[Anonymous No.10320364]

>>10320359
TV definitely perpetuates this BS but please know that TV is not life. Also nobody wants that guy that sleeps around with 50 girls. They are not as attractive as tv makes them out to be.

The virginity shaming is perpetrated by men.

[Anonymous No.10320365]

>>10320303
This is maybe what hurts the most, knowing this nice guy has a weird side. Thanks anon
>>10320310
Thank you anon
>>10320322
That's a way to put it, however it also feels like I'll never be good enough/better than that girl he fucked for money, ya know? Aside of me really not liking prostitution.
>>10320330
I will, at least try very hard to

[Anonymous No.10320369]

>>10320364
God, yeah. If anything, someone who sleeps around a lot seems more untrustworthy than someone who has had few partners or none at all.
>>10320359
I'm glad it helped you a bit.

[Anonymous No.10320406]

>>10320315
I feel it's going into the direction of what >>10320325 said. Males often feel presured by society in general to have had atleast some sort of experience when they're in their late teens or early 20s.

It's really a stupid mentality, but one that is very wide spread. I've seen countless guys online and in real life being legit depressed about the very fact that they haven't had any chance for intercourse, let alone being in a relationship, yet and therefore not only feel "left out" in a way, but legit feel like there's something wrong about them until people tell them that it's absolutely not out of the ordinary to still be a virgin when you just entered your 20s.

Even in my own surrounding I've had two examples of guys that both made me just shake my head. First one was a lose aquaintance that went to brothel with some other aquaintances for some cheap drinking and having fun at the strip bar, but eventually got a room with an ugly hooker in her 40s. Second one is a friend of mine who has the self esteem of a pea and got so hooked on the idea he'll be alone his whole life that he turned into somewhat of a fuckboy. The later one also makes me kind of sad since he's apparently in a one-sided open relationship and admitted to making use of it.

I also wouldn't completely disagree with what >>10320333 said. Someone who's so hooked up on not having had sex yet and likely disregarding other factors that come into play is not only a massive turn-off and a potential red flag.

It's not a big secret that being on a common denominator or finding a compromise in terms of sex does influence a relationship. Once you enter the 30s having atleast some basic experience in sex or even figured your preferences out is a must for a lot of people since they either don't want to invest the time of running you through all of it or even view it as a red flag ("Something must be wrong with them") if they're really stuck-up. Not including potential religious factors here.

[Anonymous No.10320408]

>>10320406
I'm retarded..

*but also a potential red flag

is what I meant.

[Anonymous No.10320420]

>>10320286
How is having sex with a prostitute even a bad thing? I’m glad prostitutes exist because I’m asexual and my partner has the option of just fucking one instead of me. Makes me feel slight less guilt about not wanting sex. I judge people who think you should only have sex with someone you love way more desu. Why are you anti prostitution anyway?

[Anonymous No.10320423]

>>10320420
nice false flag bait you fucking faggot
queer theory is shit and you're just another straight couple with "uwu" points for calling yourself a sexuality that doesn't even exist to make yourself look gay out of sympathy.

[Anonymous No.10320424]

>>10320420
I understand your case, but I honestly believe prostitution is kinda fucked up. Like what do you even tell your kid you do for a living, why not get any other job?

[Anonymous No.10320426]

>>10320423
Okay, I’m a straight person with non-existent sex drive then. Anyway, I’m just glad I don’t have to fuck

[Anonymous No.10320428]

>>10320426
>I’m just glad I don’t have to fuck
oh yeah, fucking is horrible, like totally, yuck

[Anonymous No.10320431]

>>10320428
What point are you trying to make? Some people don’t like it, yeah. Sorry

[Anonymous No.10320433]

>>10320423
>>10320428
Kek, why are you so mad about some strangers lack of sexual life? Trigger me timbers.

[Anonymous No.10320440]

>>10320433
>implying I'm mad
not two of the posters you quoted btw
>>10320431
don't you feel sexual pleasure, or wha? how does that work?

[Anonymous No.10320448]

>>10320420
Shows risky decision making, and spreads disease. STDs can affect fertility, sex should be taken more seriously

[Anonymous No.10320450]

>>10320420
Prostitution, sex trafficking, abuse of women and men, and more. That's what is wrong.
Your boyfriend as the end consumer might not be abusive towards the prostitute, but surely prostitution life is hell.
>inb4 some girls do it because they want to!!
Yeah and a thousand others do it because they have no other way to survive or were coerced into it by force so they let wicked men choke them, hit them, and treat them like a mere object to get satisfaction as opposed to treating them as an human being. This starts as young as 8 years old btw, and the damage lasts a lifetime.

[Anonymous No.10320452]

>>10320426
>I'm glad I don't have to fuck!
>Yet I let my boyfriend fuck prostitutes, who are in deplorable conditions

Alright then, have you thought about how those prostitutes don't want to fuck people all the time either? How they aren't aroused at the least with clients but they need the money? Doesn't that also sound bad to you, as someone with a low sex drive who doesn't like sex?

Why don't you let your boyfriend fuck a friend of yours then? Isn't that better?

[Anonymous No.10320453]

>>10320440
Please don't argue with asexual people, they don't even exist.
Or maybe they do, but most are assholes who claim muh opression because their livido is low.
And others just plain fake it.

[Anonymous No.10320455]

>>10320433
You still replied.

[Anonymous No.10320458]

>>10320452
I don’t really care who he fucks, so yeah, I’d let him fuck a friend too

[Anonymous No.10320459]

>>10320453
I don’t feel oppressed lol, I just don’t like sex

[Anonymous No.10320460]

>>10320420
I'm sorry, but there's many other ways to have sex with someone that doesn't include paying and degrading them
Poor decision making, poor judment, too many risks, STD's
The life of a prostitute, even a "high end" one, isn't pretty, it sucks
Being raped, having to abort, being abused, etc, this is why I am anti prostitution

[Anonymous No.10320461]

>>10320250
Oh wow you're an actual misogynistic swerf. Kinda weird seeing one of those in the wild after being accused by liberals as a swerf all the time because I view sw as paid rape (and so do the majority of sex workers btw). But you're just an idiot who hates women for the wrong reasons.

>>10320286
Do you feel repulsed because to you a John is a rapist who thinks consent for sex can be bought and therefore coerced or because you view prostitution as something derogatory that only people beneath you perform? Regardless, him paying for sex tells you more than enough about his views on women. And no, most sex workers don't view this industry as something ~fun and liberating~ to them it's their only means of survival and I frankly don't give a shit what some privileged Beckys with a patreon or premium snapchat have to say. Prostitution isn't the oldest trade of the world, it's the oldest oppression of the world alongside slavery.

[Anonymous No.10320462]

>>10320458
Thing is, fucking a prostitute is unethical
But I see you're an edgelord so who cares, this is /cgl/, let's post lolita problems and shit

I hate when my petticoat isn't puffy enough and it sadly goes down, so eventually I have to wear two, one on top of another, until I remplace them both.

[Anonymous No.10320465]

>>10320461
nigga you need some better reading comprehension

[Anonymous No.10320467]

I wish more girls looked like they are having fun and smiling in photos, instead of the usual frowny face or the usual standing in a row comm photo.

[Anonymous No.10320470]

I don't like over the top makeup in jfashion. I'm always more into muted, simple natural looks.

[Anonymous No.10320472]

>>10320406
It's not just virginity, it's not being sexually active or in a relationship in general. I'm a guy who's still fucked up from an abusive relationship and hasn't and hasn't had either in more than six years and it's hard to describe what it's like and how hopeless things start to feel, I think I have a decent idea of what it'd be like to be an adult virgin. I'd never go to a prostitute but I can't knock on other guys for doing it and I think it might be less unhealthy than going years and years without sex because the latter really fucks you up, I'm at the point where the idea of doing it gives me panic attacks because it's such an alien outside the comfort zone kind of thing now.

[Anonymous No.10320473]

>>10320467
Me too. Every time I remember how Misako said laughing out loud is "improper behavior", or how gulls shit on lolitas for "smiling too much" in their pictures, I just roll my eyes. I'm tired of the dead fish eyes/stank face combo in coord shots and even brand ads (I'm looking at you, Risa). I get everyone wants to be an edgy old school queen but happy girls in lolita are precious.

[komaeda No.10320476]

>>10319554
antisocial bullish shouldn't be fostered in online spaces to begin with

[Anonymous No.10320478]

>>10320472
I wish I could help you anon. Having sexual frustration is pretty bad as a girl, I can only imagine how bad it must be as a guy.

I legit want to cure the guy I like from his sadness, but he doesn't want me at all. I wish I could hold him, have intimacy with him. He's everything I wished for, but not having sex has really affected him emotionally.

[Anonymous No.10320480]

>>10319554
lolitas are literal femcels that spend their days on this taiwanese embroidery forum and pose for pictures is their only highlight for the day, what did you expect?

[Anonymous No.10320482]

My cosplay disenchantment is complete.
>Play video game
>Like character
>Start looking at her design
>Break down what she's wearing
>Stop
>Cosplaying that would suck
>Nobody knows this game that well
>The money and time wouldn't amount to anything truly wearable
>Think back to my old cosplays
>The same principles apply to them
>Nobody ever recognised my last cosplay at all
>Fuck that was a lot of money for nothing
>Feel disgusted
>Take breath, clear thoughts
>Enjoy video game

[Anonymous No.10320484]

>>10320478
I'm just curious, how clear have you actually been with him about what you want to do? Virginity or celibacy warps your mind and you stop believing anybody wants to be with you, you come up with all kinds of crazy mental gymnastics to explain to yourself why blatant signs of interest aren't actually real, and it's compounded by the fact that most of us have had experiences with girls who seemed to be showing obvious interest but rejected us when we tried to reciprocate. Dropping hints and showing signs of interest that seem obvious to you may not work on him and if you haven't straight up told him what you want to do it might be worth trying. If you have and he's rejected it even I don't know what his deal is, unless you're really just not his type or something.

[Anonymous No.10320487]

I think the ratio on lolita threads vs cosplay ones has been increased by a lot in the past two years. Before I do remember having more creative cosplay threads, including some about posting your photo and people telling you what character to cosplay etc.
But I don't think it is the fault of lolitas at all, or drama being banned, it is more about the quality of the cosplay threads themselves. I think cosplay used to have a cool craft element to it, but started shifting slowly and some problems with the community came up, such as
>tumblr and their "everyone can cosplay whatever character!" mentality
>which entail very stupid easy or western characters, such as steven universe or homestuck
>fun is no longer allowed, it is all about competition for some
>everyone just looks too serious doing it nowadays
>not to mention cosplay chicks everywhere doing it for attention

I think most of us who grew in that era of /cgl/ just grew up and moved on with our lifes, too.
If cosplayers wanted to make this board better or more welcomed for themselves, maybe they could make more quality threads, maybe.

[Anonymous No.10320493]

>>10320484
He told me I'm not 100% his type, even though he thinks I'm cute and someone who listens to him.
What you just said, honestly, describes him to a T. That's how he is.
I have told him very straight up that I liked him, and he has gotten very intimidated by it, and treated me badly. I really don't know what his deal is, he's such a good person otherwise.

[Anonymous No.10320497]

>>10320493
>he has gotten very intimidated by it, and treated me badly
Nta but sis he's not that into you

[komaeda No.10320499]

>>10320420
>I’m glad prostitutes exist

https://nordicmodelnow.org/what-is-the-nordic-model/

[Anonymous No.10320507]

>>10320467
>>10320473
This is my favourite pic ever

[Anonymous No.10320515]

>>10320507
she's not even "fully dressed" yet she looks like she's having so much fun, I adore this

[Anonymous No.10320520]

>>10320493
Damn. It's possible he just isn't into you like >>10320497 says but it could also be that he's got sex on a pedestal and has really specific requirements for who it's with and how it happens, especially likely if he's a virgin. (Replies are kinda scrambled up so not sure which anon you originally were.)

In a way this whole thing is kind of a role reversal, usually it's us dudes who have to go through what you're dealing with over and over and over again. Can't say I agree with his attitude about the whole thing but to be fair it took me a LONG time to get to the point where I felt like sex was something I could try out with somebody rather than something I had to be really really sure about beforehand and he might just not be there yet.

[Anonymous No.10320543]

>>10320286
would you be just as bothered if he said he lost his virginity in a random one night stand? because it's pretty much the same thing imo

>>10320448
i mean, everyone who does hookups shows risky decision making and spreads disease even with it's with non hookers

[Anonymous No.10320549]

>>10320045
what’s wrong nugget?

[Anonymous No.10320554]

>>10320482
Don't cosplay for other people. Cosplay because you like the character and like dressing up.

[Anonymous No.10320585]

I went to Joann's for the first time where I was buying things for myself instead of as gifts for seagulls.
It was awful I felt like everyone was staring at me and that I stood out too much. I felt so bad that I stayed home from my barbershop chorus rehearsal that I would've been late too anyway because I spent an hour at Joann's since I was so uneducated as to what the materials were for babby's first sewing class tomorrow. I called my mom in the store and explained what it was I was buying and she explained what the pieces were in between laughing at how new I was. I got what I needed but all I'm doing is making a pillow tomorrow even though I thought we were sewing a design into.
Because I thought we were going to do a design I just bought white cotton fabric instead of any kind of colored fabric.
I don't know why I got so disheartened it just felt like I was so out of place with no friends I could rely on.

Does it get better?

[Anonymous No.10320589]

>>10320406
I'll say it, I regret losing my virginity like I did. It wasn't a prostitute, but I do regret it.

[Anonymous No.10320590]

>>10320589
Hell, I lost my virginity within a relationship and I regret it too. I think a lot of people do, once they look back. Hindsight is 20/20 after all

[Anonymous No.10320591]

>>10320589
Me too. One night stand with somebody I'd just met and wasn't all that into.

[Anonymous No.10320596]

>>10320265
Why pay for sex when you can just jerk off for free and spend your money on cosplay instead?

[Anonymous No.10320599]

>>10320585
You thought you were going to do embroidery, a completely separate skill from sewing, on your first day of sewing class?

[Anonymous No.10320608]

>>10320472

28M here kissless virgin.


I'm constantly trying to workout, dress better, do my hair better for the past 4 years.

Yeah pretty much feel like I'm past the point of no return.

I morally am against prostitution and I'm not some radfem but I do believe 99% of women who are prostitutes would never do it by choice.

[Anonymous No.10320612]

>>10320608
I bet you reject fat and/or ugly girls, and therefore you're just a whiny volcel like all the guys on /r9k/

[Anonymous No.10320615]

>>10320599
I thought you "sewed" a design into a fabric, not embroidered it...

[Anonymous No.10320618]

>>10320608
I'll get rid of your virginity anon
take off your pants NOW

[Anonymous No.10320619]

>>10320589
>>10320590
Same, I lost my virginity in a relationship, but my ex forced herself into me.

[Anonymous No.10320633]

>>10320608
It's hard as fuck but you have to socialize, meet a lot of new people, and find somebody you click with and then gradually let it turn into something. I don't think it's really possible for guys to force things like that anymore unless they're complete chads and the girls they get probably aren't the ones you want anyway, I know that's the case for sure with the girls my "player" friends hook up with.

One of the big traps in the con scene is hanging with the same people all the time. I'm only just finally figuring that out and getting out of the habit myself, all of my friends are complaining about how lame ALA was and I had a great time because I found new people and a new party group that was awesome, it's really just that my friends weren't throwing anything good themselves and weren't willing to get out there and find a new scene.

On a somewhat related note, I've also realized how badly weed has fucked up the con party scene. My friends just gather in a room, get high, and then give up on going out and doing anything. I recently got a job that involves drug testing so I just drank and had the best time I've had at a con in years.

[Anonymous No.10320643]

>>10320633
Yeah I hang with a crew of like 8 people.

I'm getting better about taking some time to wander alone though, and since I picked up drinking it helps a lot. I wish I picked up drinking earlier, i'm way more inhibited when I'm drunk compared to my friends, I'm permavirgin inhibited when I'm sober..

I feel like I'm getting better but I can't make a connection.

[Anonymous No.10320652]

This is only tangentially cosplay-related but it was spurred by a con incident.

What the fuck is with other dudes and their taste in women? Storytime:
>have friend
>friend is friends with a different con group as well as people from mine, I'm just acquainted with some of them
>meet this one girl from his group for the first time
>immediately click and think she's cute, quickly think she's cool too after talking for a while
>tell my friend I think so later and he acts completely mystified and horrified, basically makes it clear that the whole group views her as completely unattractive/unfuckable/undateable
>start digging into why and it basically is that she once had a bad relationship with an asshole, once slept with another guy from the group, and most importantly to these guys, is too confident and assertive
>too confident and assertive
>what the fuck

It kinda got me going, probing into what my other friends look for in girls, and by and large they want quiet submissive women. I can't even begin to fathom how they find that attractive. On top of that they reject a cute, fun girl because she's had sex and relationships before? I just don't get it.

[Anonymous No.10320663]

>>10320652
>quiet, submissive women
This board has made me realize most men do in fact have shit taste, and probably just most people in general.

Energetic, outgoing girls are hot as fuck. I'd much rather have someone assertive with their feelings than someone that never makes them clear at all. Your friends just sound like wimps when it comes to their taste.

[Anonymous No.10320664]

>>10320652
Might just be an anomaly anon. Most of my friends I consider good ones are into amazons and shit, and I love em too, but by the same token we all like cute girls a lot.
Generally being assertive is a great thing but I can also see how it could be intimidating.

I really got nothing.

[Anonymous No.10320667]

>2 stargazers
>refresh page
>4 stargazers
nooooooo it's mine back off p-pls

[Anonymous No.10320669]

I'm sick of the raids of these horndog r9k scrotes posting ass under the guise of "well it kinda has to do with cosplay" and whatnot. Let's just get rid of the c in cgl, all their threads are shit tier anyway.

[Anonymous No.10320670]

>>10320663
>>10320664
Yeah, totally agree. I don't get the intimidation thing either, it's a billion times easier to deal with a girl who's upfront and enthusiastic about what she wants than one who makes you feel like you have to inflict yourself on her. Virgin fetishes and shit like that mystify me too, especially when they come from dudes that I know have actually fucked them. I guess I'm lacking some kind of rape instinct most dudes have or something.

Also, don't get me wrong, I'm not into amazons either and I'm sure as hell not into dom chicks. My ideal girl would be five foot nothing with the face of an angel and the mouth of a devil.

[Anonymous No.10320671]

>>10320652
In my experience, men definitely find confident women to be threatening and unappealing. I think it's sad.

[Anonymous No.10320683]

>>10320671
>>10320670

Maybe they don't want to be with a girl that flirts with every guy?

That's why I've seen with the most 'confident and outspoken' women. They flirt with everyone and maintain no sense of propriety when in a relationship.

Guys catch on to the game pretty quickly and don't want to be just another notch and burst of validation for a girl.

This kind of behavior goes both ways for guys and girls. I'm just speaking about it from the male perspective.

[Anonymous No.10320690]

>>10320683
you sound kinda delusional desu. Anything that says "z women do y" is probably very wrong and you should probably stop making generalizations about women on the internet before you lose whatever nuance on the issue you might have left

[Anonymous No.10320695]

>>10320690

I didn't mean to say all, just offering another perspective. The idea of someone complaining about confident and extroverted girls in the nerd community sounds outlandish to me. Every thread on desperate nerd forums complains about how they wish women would take the initiative more.

Honestly I've never heard of anyone complain about it in real life.

[Anonymous No.10320697]

>>10320695
I think maybe they like it in theory but not in practice. I've seen a lot of guys dislike extroverted girls in the community in real life. If that weren't the case there wouldn't be so many cute extroverted single girls around.

[Anonymous No.10320712]

>>10320652
You know nothing about her, and couldn't fathom why they dislike her in that way. She's their friend, and they likely don't want to completely bad mouth even if it's the truth since it would get back if you pursued. They're likely being nice. Assertive usually means, "I say jump, and you say how high." Saying confident in a bad way means, "She's the queen from Snow White." There's a point that confidence is vanity, and that usually means someone is excessively adamant about their appearance. Think... a really cute girls who speaks too highly of herself to the point it puts down others.

She's likely a demanding, vain woman who may cheat or play with a party lifestyle, hence the "asshole" who is otherwise fun and cool. Some people are like that.

[Anonymous No.10320713]

>>10320712
>There's a point that confidence is vanity
That's arrogance, not confidence. You can't just assign words new meanings.

[Anonymous No.10320714]

>>10320712
And I say that's what they mean when used in a 'bad sense'. Confident and assertive are both words with a double meaning. They're sugarcoating.

[Anonymous No.10320715]

>>10320713
That's what people do though when speaking about others in social situations. Without being able to say, "Well, she's arrogant and demanding," they have to say, "She's... uh, overly confident and assertive to say the least."

[Anonymous No.10320718]

>>10320713
And I get that, but it's one of those things you listen to what they mean and not what they say. People do that a lot.

[Anonymous No.10320722]

>>10320712
>>10320713
>>10320718
When I said assertive and confident, those were my words and I was speaking from my impressions from hanging out with her for a while and what I inferred from what my friend said. She didn't seem like what >>10320712 describes at all.

She's Asian-American and the impression I got from my friends is that they don't like her because she's not shy or quiet enough to fit their yellow fever ideals. One of them said he didn't like her because she's too opinionated and speaks her mind too much. She actually said something like that herself too, that guys don't like her because she's not submissive. For me, though, it was all positive, because I love Asian aesthetics (and this girl really hits my strike zone in terms of clothing and hair styles too) but hate the stereotypical shy submissive waifu shit.

[Anonymous No.10320724]

>>10320722
>guys don't like her because she's not submissive. For me, though, it was all positive
The key. What’s the point of forcing people into interactions with people who don’t fit their expectations?

[Anonymous No.10320737]

>>10320712
>>10320722
Also just to add to this, the specific girl is pretty much irrelevant here, I'm not going after her or anything. Aside from anything else it'd be drama in the friend group. The point was about men's taste in women.

[Anonymous No.10320745]

>maybe I should allow women into my life
>read what they think about men
>recall my own experiences with them
Fuck that

[Anonymous No.10320752]

>>10320462
>sax shoes
>pink op

[Anonymous No.10320754]

>>10320669
/cgl/ was a male-dominated cosplay board long before lolita became relevant here. Go make a subreddit or something if you just want a place to dump your drama from other communities.

[Anonymous No.10320756]

>>10320671
not all men, just the insecure ones.

[Anonymous No.10320758]

>>10320669
I agree.

>>10320754
No.

[Anonymous No.10320768]

>>10320619
into...you? Maybe you’re not a buttvirgin but still a virgin

[Anonymous No.10320769]

>>10320722
I mean... then honestly they were likely just an asshole to her. I'd see it happen with my cousin and aunt who are from Hong Kong. I also once had an ex who would say really stupid shit to people from Asia. Yeah. People say stupid shit, and get mad if someone's less than pleased.

[Anonymous No.10320770]

>>10320754
That's a lie. We had gyaru, lolita (which was considerably more niche), decora, & v-kei threads. These threads were highly active. 4-chan just got a bad reputation in the cosplay community, and many don't go here anymore.

[Anonymous No.10320781]

>>10320669
This. And can all the angry politics reeee move to /pol/ please? Just go start a radfem thread there or on lolcow, lolita threads are not the place for it.

[Anonymous No.10320786]

>>10320297
Anon had feelings for him that could have developed into a romantic, sexual relationship so dude obviously wasn't the lost cause he thought he was. If he had been patient and hadn't put losing his v card on a pedestal he could've had a cgl gf, which I'm told by male crossboarders is a cool thing to have.

[Anonymous No.10320790]

>>10320786
>calls males incels and virgins constantly
>lol y u go to prostitutes?
and /cgl/ gf sounds like a fucking nightmare 2bh

[Anonymous No.10320791]

>>10320683
Confident doesn’t mean flirting with everyone. It means they can tell you how pathetic and entitled you really are when you beg them for sex because you bought them a drink

[Anonymous No.10320797]

>>10320791
>because you bought them a drink
lmfao @ burgers that engage in such cuckoldry practices, over here they buy it themselves, hell I've been invited to a drink even by a girl myself, that's when you know your country is out of hope, when you engage in micro-prostitution acts as socially acceptable and even mandatory

[Anonymous No.10320810]

>>10320797
If they buy it themselves and do everything themselves then why bitch that you can’t get laid because they’re too confident

[Anonymous No.10320818]

>>10320810
that wasn't me, sry, but on that tought, very outgoing people seems like they match with other outgoing/confident people, maybe not so much for confident male shy women, but defiinitely for confident female shy man, there's always exceptions, but still...

[Anonymous No.10320972]

>>10320770
Nta but /cgl/ used to be a pink board meant for posting pics of hot Japanese cosplay girls. Actual cosplayers only started posting later, and lolitas after that. Other J-fashions came after the lolitas and for a while it was debated whether they should even go here or on /fa/ or if there should be a /jfa/. It was only decided against because the board is very slow already.

[Anonymous No.10321004]

>>10320752
I like pink with sax, I just wish there was more sax to balance it.

[Anonymous No.10321006]

>>10320972
quick guys we have to come up with outdated bullshit like channers wanting to specifically fap to hot japanese cosplay girls as a way of keeping women as far away from our hallowed fapping spaces as possible.

I LOVE women I just don't want to ever have to be around them or deal with them

[Anonymous No.10321025]

>>10321006
No, but this whole thing started with somebody else acting like outsider men were invading their exclusively female board. I'll confess to being one of the guys who occasionally posts some of the "offending" material in these threads but that's in large part BECAUSE there are women here, it's the only place on 4chan where you can actually reliably get input from women and/or from men who aren't virgin incels.

[Anonymous No.10321040]

>>10320972
No it wasn't. There was just people who actually posted cosplay. They never thought about moving j-fashion to /fa/. I remember that. A bunch of spergs started bullying the j-fash people, and moot actually had to step in to remind people that j-fash is no for /fa/, but /cgl/, and always has & will. No, it wasn't because the board was slow that it was decided against. It was never on the plate, but a bunch of spergs wanted their woman free space.

[Anonymous No.10321041]

>>10321040
Not*

[Anonymous No.10321044]

>>10320972
And before you ask, yes, I'm an old hag. I was there when the magic was written.

[Anonymous No.10321051]

This is so lame but I always feel sad when my (small) cos ig follower count goes down by 2 or 3 randomly one day, not like I know who they are (and no desire to know) but it makes me feel like I'm failing? I know my stuff is good but I can't network for shit

[Anonymous No.10321057]

>>10320507
This is the first time I’m seeing this picture, but I love it.
This skirt was the first „real lolita“ item I got more than ten years ago and I still have it.
I guess/hope I looked similar wearing it back then... Right down to the blatantly white socks with off-white shoes.
Very cute photo, seeing it makes me happy

[Anonymous No.10321060]

>>10321051
Caring about follower counts and like counts leads to nothing but pain.

[Anonymous No.10321064]

>>10321044
Tell me about the good old days bls.

[Anonymous No.10321065]

>>10321060
or a big bag of mony, sadly

[Anonymous No.10321082]

>>10321060
I know this in my rational adult brain but the hamster on the wheel in my lizard brain feels real down. Its literally the how many times do we have to teach you a lesson old man .jpg but one day I'll reach enlightenment.

[Anonymous No.10321084]

>>10321065
The vast majority of people who aim to turn their hobby into profit by whoring themselves out online don't make it.

[Anonymous No.10321089]

>>10321084
I'm well aware of that

[Anonymous No.10321104]

>>10320754
what... what do you think the “gl” stands for?

[Anonymous No.10321106]

>>10320797
>i’ve been invited to a drink by a girl myself!
holy fuck anon! go get em! next time you’ll tell me you’ve met a human over the age of 19!!!

[Anonymous No.10321114]

>>10321106
if you don't believe that you will even believe less that I even told her to skip the bullshit and drinking and let's go home and she actually agreed, I even represented her the situation in a mathematical-style graphic where "where we are now... and here we fuck". But I'll tell you the trick, she isn't american and she hasn't been indoctrinated into being entitled to leech off drinks from desperate guys that want to get in her pants. Bonus points: I actually stole her away from a group of 5 africans. In a bar though.

[Anonymous No.10321116]

>>10321082
Delete your cosplay account and start just doing it for fun. If you can’t handle social media and it’s not getting you anywhere, then what is the point?

[Anonymous No.10321118]

>>10321114
Wow holy shit. Tell me about the part where everyone in the bar stood up and clapped!!! this is so riveting

[Anonymous No.10321124]

>>10321118
nobody clapped, I gave her one hard spank when we were in the bar though, maybe that counts as clapping

[Anonymous No.10321125]

>>10321124
Wait... wait.... was that girl’s name... Albert Einstein?

[Anonymous No.10321126]

>>10321125
not everyone on 4chins is an incel virgin, I'm well far away from being a Chad but you know, I guess I have some qualities some times, I was a bit tipsy too, maybe that helped.

[Anonymous No.10321127]

>>10321126
Anon, I can’t tell if you are trolling but I am going to break character for a sec. Nothing about this encounter is unusual and the fact that you think it is says you are not very good with women... or people really.

[Anonymous No.10321129]

>>10321127
(actually I lied, the graph and slapping her ass thing is weird and probably why you think it’s an anomaly for women to talk to you)

[Anonymous No.10321132]

>>10321129
the graph momment might have been way out of normality, but it was so fucking cash that it actually worked, I regret nothing

I don't usually go to clubs or bars or even try to pick up girls so yeah, this one was mostly the exception for me

[Anonymous No.10321133]

>>10320608
Well, I'm 26, soon 27 male, who lost his virginity to a prostitute last year

Was kinda an impulsive act, cause I was traveling around alone in southern germany
Well, in one city, I paid for a striptease in front of me, and after that, I really wanted to fuck, so the next day, I went to a prostitute
I know, it is kinda "weak" to lose his virginity to one, but I was never in a relationship before, and I doubt I will ever get one soon, and after all, I also have some "needs", and before I'm 40 and a virgin...
And yes, tried to get a gf and such, never worked, women are just not interested in me, and don't give me any advice
It's all the same bullcrap anyway, I don't really give a fuck about it anymore
And if it's ethical to oay a prostitute, I'd say yes
Despite what a few people claim, most prostitutes aren't forced to do their job (at least, if you life in the western world, and go to a brothel, hookers from street, well yeah)
And even if they do it just for the money, well it's just an exchange, she gets money, I get sex

[Anonymous No.10321135]

>>10321132
Okay, well, just... a socialization tip for you: don’t tell people this story. Or at the very least don’t act super excited that a woman talked to you. It’s a little weird.

If you want a pro tip from someone who both is a women and gets a lot of women, try just treating us like normal people you want to be friends with. Works way better than whatever pick up artist bullshit people are selling you here

[Anonymous No.10321137]

>>10321135
I haven't bought any pick up artist shit anywhere, I just was being myself, a bit tipsy. But thanks for the tip anyways.

[Anonymous No.10321140]

>>10321133
Hey, as long as you treated her well and paid her you’re good. People can sob all day long about ~ethics~ but at the end of the day, if you weren’t a bad customer I’m sure she didn’t mind.

[Anonymous No.10321142]

>>10321140
Well yeah, the first one was kinda annoyed, cause I didn't come (I'm a huge coomer), and she also didn't want to cuddle, for whatever reason...
But her massage was great, would recommend her (if she still works there, and can remember her name)
The second, I guess was ok with it, even wanted to cuddle, and such...
Couldn't come to her either...

[Anonymous No.10321149]

>>10321142
have u tried being on nofap for like a month before going to prostitutes again? it might work

[Anonymous No.10321153]

>>10321149
Maybe, I should do that next time....
Thought the same to be honest...

[Anonymous No.10321156]

>>10321149
Nofap is a nonsensical incel pseudoscience meme. If anything it'll just make you act creepier than you would have otherwise because you're so horny.

[Anonymous No.10321163]

>>10321153
I can't tell the exact time, I'd assume a month should do the trick, I stood for like 9 months once
>>10321156
the hornyness wears off after a few weeks, but if the dude has problems cooming it might actually helps, besides who gives a fuck if he acts creepy, it's a prostitute, pretty sure they used to way worse than a dude horny because of no fap, note that I'm not telling him it will work, but that it might work

[Anonymous No.10321183]

>>10321163
Fuck, I should've read back and realized it was about cooming with a hooker. I still think nofap is pointless but that's a bit better than saying it'll help you get dates or whatever. If anything I'd suggest just fapping less rather than not at all, avoiding porn if possible, especially weird fetish stuff if he's into that, and using a fleshlight or onahole instead of hands.

That aside though, if he's banging hookers I assume he's using a condom and that might be the problem, a lot of guys struggle to cum in one, myself included, it's a big part of why I never do hookups or one night stands.

[Anonymous No.10321192]

>>10321163
Depending how creepy and who she is, it’s not the best idea. Believe it or not, prostitutes are like any other freelancer and will refuse clients that they don’t want to work with

[Anonymous No.10321196]

>>10321183
No, stop, don't nofap, that's starvation dieting. Check out the blog Cure Deathgrip. That's a legitimate dick diet in comparison.

[Anonymous No.10321203]

>>10321196
Not sure if you meant to quote the other guy or something but that's pretty much what I suggested.

[Anonymous No.10321206]

>>10321116
Friends...? There is a healthy middle ground for people

[Anonymous No.10321208]

>>10321192
ur blowing this out of proportion, except for very exceptional cases nothing happens when you don't fap for a month, you don't turn into a horny turborapist, chill out

[Anonymous No.10321213]

>>10321206
You have a cosplay exclusive page just for friends? Wtf? Also anon mentioned networking. I don’t usually call my friends networking

[Anonymous No.10321235]

>>10321213
Not sure if this is what that anon meant but a lot of people have separate accounts for cosplay and con friends, so that relatives and work people don't see all the embarrassing shit they get up to and so that they can add casual con acquaintances without giving away too much personal info.

[Anonymous No.10321297]

work is slow and I've been basically browsing the internet for 8 hours, god someone help me

[Anonymous No.10321301]

>>10321235
You can do that on locked

[Anonymous No.10321370]

Idk if anyone read/remembers but mushroom anon from last thread and I wanted to have a little update!
>have been wearing lolita
>took up playing and invested in new games
>tackeld a huge mess in my apartment I have been avoiding
>have three packages of top cute lolita arriving
It's still baby steps but I feel energized - and the best, I actually feel like I have some hope to pull myself out of this depression. Especially cleaning out made me feel like I have a fresh new change and I have a plan to first keep this and eventually get better. I have so many awesome things in my life and a very comfy apartment and I feel like I'm step closer to be able to enjoy them again.
>mfw bursting of ideas for new coords, seriously crying because it feels so damn good.

[Anonymous No.10321373]

>>10321370
I remember! I'm glad for you, gull

[Anonymous No.10321381]

>>10321132
Australian women have the highest number of life time sexual partners in the world, by more than twice as much as most other countries.

I wouldn't brag about picking up a girl in the country with the sluttiest girls. It's not exactly hard.

[Anonymous No.10321390]

>>10321183
>it's a big part of why I never do hookups or one night stands.
you just pressure the girls you date into not using condoms instead?

[Anonymous No.10321394]

>>10321390
you say you don't do hookups because you can't cum- maybe this is just me but I always had the impression women tended to almost never cum on hookups, or they fake it

[Anonymous No.10321408]

>>10321394
There are studies showing that women tend to deeply regret hookups and only do them because they feel pressured or lonely. So that's very possible.

[Anonymous No.10321409]

>>10321408
I think that came out as nice or understanding. what I really meant to say was "boohoo poor wittle man can't cum on hookups, fuck off, get over it, huge numbers of women don't do it either, quit pressuring people to fuck you without a condom"

[Anonymous No.10321425]

>>10319747
I started a career last year and I'm 27 now (graduated at 26). Granted that I was in college longer than the 4 years, which is pretty common now.

To stay on topic, I feel like age is getting to me also with the whole going to conventions. I find myself looking forward to Lolita meetups a lot more but in some way or other anime and cosplay inevitably comes back into my convos. I don't intend to quit cosplaying but I can't help but wonder where this is going to take me.

I don't mean as in giving up cosplay or quit going to conventions completely, but I feel like I'll run out of reasons to go to a con. It used to be a lot more fun, but I also don't try to crash party rooms or get wasted at cons anymore. I used to be way into buying figures and prints and all that, but I find that it's often easier and more affordable to look online or get commissions (doesn't help that the characters I look for tend to be uncommon/not popular in the US).

A few of my friends have suggested me to host a couple of panels so it would be easier to find people with common interests and also something to keep me engaged with a con.

Idk I just want to look forward to cons like I did when I was younger but have no idea how to go about it. x_x

[Anonymous No.10321443]

I want to go back to Osaka so bad. Every time I've passed through that city I've enjoyed the atmosphere and had a lot of concentrated fun. Now all I crave is a week, at least, in that city so far away from where I am right now.

Or maybe I'm just having remorse. I've been inside NEAR, browsed and bought from the noisy, plastic draped hangers... But I didn't buy that dress. I didn't buy that other one. I think about them as I see the prints online, and the remorse is real. Take me back to Osaka, please. Get me some guilt free spending money to go with it while you're at it, actually. Saving up makes everything feel dirty.

[Anonymous No.10321506]

>a “friend” bought a dress we both agreed was ugly

Y tho

[Anonymous No.10321521]

Are there any normal guys in the cosplay/con scene? I feel like everyone in this hobby either is an autist or has a bunch of female orbiters

[Anonymous No.10321523]

>>10321521
I mean they can have orbiters and still be normal

[Anonymous No.10321534]

>>10321521
the good looking, normal guys will have orbiters obviously.

[Anonymous No.10321539]

>>10321521
How strict is your definition of autist? Diagnosed or just weird?

>>10320585
Update guys the class went well I had a nice time and I made a pillow that doesn't look half bad! It was actually a really fun time and I learned a lot. Here's hoping the garment-patterning and sewing social in February go just as well.

[Anonymous No.10321628]

I've bought 3 blue blouses online and none of them are the right shade of blue, they're all dusty blue. All the pictures I see online show it being bright blue but when I get it or view the inspection on taobao, it's another fucking dusty blue blouse

[Anonymous No.10321688]

I'm going on a non-studyrelated trip this weekend with friends from uni. We're visiting a themepark. I really wanna wear toned down lolita for the trip but I'm not sure if I dare with my uni friends around. I wear certain pieces in casual ways to classes already and some of them have my insta, but still... What should I do?

[Anonymous No.10321699]

>>10321688
Do what makes you happy. If your uni friends ask about it, say this is how you dress to have fun. Theme parks are fun! Why not dress up a bit for the occasion?

You should also use this experience to find out which of your uni friends are socially competent enough to become real friends. If any of them behaves badly you can take note that they're not worth bringing with you into the real world after uni. If they can't accept what fashion makes you happy they're not meant to stay. I hope you have a lot of fun on your trip!

[Anonymous No.10321726]

>>10321521
Define normal.

[Anonymous No.10321769]

>>10321506
why does her buying it make her a fake friend?

[Anonymous No.10321772]

>>10319522
For me, I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t care if I get outfit photos or not and even if I do, I post maybe 1/2 of them. I’m actually just enjoying the fashion with my friends and not feeling the need to prove it to the internet that I did things in lolita.

[Anonymous No.10321793]

>>10321506
Maybe she was afraid to admit she liked it or changed her mind. Sounds to me you are the "friend" since you're being such a dick about it.

[Anonymous No.10321803]

>>10321769
Because she lied? If she would have been upfront and said “no I like CTP” then fine. But was the one who started shitting on it because people bought it for clout and then bought it for clout.

>>10321793
I wouldn’t have had a problem with it had she been upfront and not lied. How am I being a dick for being upset my friend lied to me? You’re an unreasonable cunt.

[Anonymous No.10321804]

>>10321803
don’t respond to trolls. it doesn’t make you a dick if your friend is acting like this and you complain about it. friends who lie about things like that and then turn around and do the opposite are the worst.

[Anonymous No.10321809]

>>10321804
Part of why I’m frustrated is that she said she hated it for several years, before it got rereleased. Her exact words were “people only buy it for attention” and she’s said not only CTP is ugly but that she hates all cat prints. We laughed together about the people who paid 1500-2000$ for it when the MTO was released. I doubt she suddenly magically fell in love with it. Now I’m just thinking about what else she’s lied to me about.

[Anonymous No.10321810]

>>10321809
That really is annoying and questionable considering how she worded it. That would make me second guess everything my friend said.

[Anonymous No.10321812]

>>10321803
I'm not >>10321793 but you didn't include any of that in your original post which initially just seemed like you both thought a dress was ugly then she bought it and you got mad, which would have made /you/ the shitty friend.

Shitting on a dress and the people who own it and then turning around to buy it for clout is a different story though

[Anonymous No.10321814]

>>10321812
Maybe she shouldn’t be so eager to shit on people after a super short post without knowing the whole story then? Saying I’m a “dick” for a quick “y tho” at something short is mega cunty. Getting mad at someone for lying unless it was to protect a person would not make ANYONE a shitty friend. Trust is a huge part of friendship.

>>10321810
Exactly. It’s like, there’s so much now with this that she’s done and said that seem sketchy.

[Anonymous No.10321816]

>>10321812
how would anon be a shitty friend for getting mad at being lied to? crazy how people are defending a liar, even if it wasn’t as complex as it’s turned out to be

[Anonymous No.10321817]

>>10321816
The craziest part is she didn’t even tell me. I saw it on her sm. I don’t know wtf she thought would happen either, because we follow eachother. After years of her shitting on it to find out like that I felt blindsided.

[Anonymous No.10321819]

>>10321816
Because if she was the one who called it ugly initially, her friend may have been embarrassed to admit she liked it? Peer pressure is a helluva drug. But that doesn't even matter now that OP clarified her story

[Anonymous No.10321820]

>>10321819
It doesn’t matter either way if she’s a lying snake. You can slap whatever label on it you want but if you’re not even honest enough over small things like that you’re not a good friend. You sound personally invested like you’ve done something similar. Maybe think on how you treat your friends.

[Anonymous No.10321823]

>>10321820
>"this dress is ugly"
>"yeah lol"
>buys it
>"OMG WTF YOU BOUGHT IT?!?! YOU'RE A LYING SNAKE"

It's not that deep. I literally agreed with you, why are you still harping on?

[Anonymous No.10321824]

>>10321819
imagine being insecure enough to end up feeling peer pressure over your friend saying she doesn’t like something. you can like thinks your friends don’t

[Anonymous No.10321827]

>>10321824
I mean a lot of lolitas do things out of peer pressure (re: anon's friend who bought CTP for clout, trend hopping, etc) so it's not unreasonable to suggest

[Anonymous No.10321828]

>>10321823
You’re reaching so hard away from the actual thing that happened, sounds like the nail got hit on the head with you being a liar.

[Anonymous No.10321832]

>>10321827
Buying a dress for clout does not equal giving in to peer pressure. Nobody is forcing her to attentionwhore. You’re delusional.

[Anonymous No.10321834]

>>10321828
Are you being purposefully obtuse? Reread >>10321812 If that was the situation then my greentext would have applied and you would have absolutely overreacted. But it's not, so you're in the right

[Anonymous No.10321835]

>>10321834
I’m sorry you’re so defensive about being a liar but maybe change your behavior instead of reeing about it on 4chan taking it out on someone who’s upset their friend lied to them.

[Anonymous No.10321837]

>>10321835
Welp, I tried.

[Anonymous No.10321839]

>>10321835
people who go off about this kind of shit tend to be the type of person being complained about. anon probably is also hipster af about prints but buys them anyway for clout.

[Anonymous No.10321841]

>>10321839
Exactly.

>>10321837
You “tried” in what? Defending shitty behavior? Yeah, congrats.

[Anonymous No.10321852]

>>10321809
>>10321817
Maybe she had a change of heart about the dress and didn't feel the need to update you about her feelings on every single print in existence.

[Anonymous No.10322048]

>>10321823
Cause they are a drama queen and a shitty friend.

[Anonymous No.10322049]

>>10321835
God you're insane. Hope your friend kicks you to the curb.

[Anonymous No.10322051]

>>10322049
>insane for being mad about a friend lying after talking shit like they did

Sounds like you’re projecting.

[Anonymous No.10322061]

>>10322051
No you are indeed insane, opinions can change.

[Anonymous No.10322062]

>>10322061
You’re obviously trolling, but scroll up and read the thread instead of throwing out b8

[Anonymous No.10322066]

>>10322051
Aww boohoo. Can't handle it when people disagree with you huh? Going around your "friends" back to talk shit about her on cgl does make you a shitty friend. Why didn't you just ask her why she bought a dress she called ugly? Also, it's not like your friend needs your approval when she buys something you know.

[Anonymous No.10322068]

>>10322066
I already confronted her about it. I’m allowed to vent in a thread made for venting about cgl related feels. You sound really agitated over this. Do you have BPD it HPD? Because you really do act like you do with the irrational tantrums

[Anonymous No.10322072]

>>10322066
>>10322049
this is such an overreaction it makes me think you’re the friend

[Anonymous No.10322149]

>>10319522
Nobody gives a shit about /cgl/'s opinions anymore. It barely had power back in 2010 and it's even less now.

[Anonymous No.10322177]

>>10321506
desu i've done the same recently with honey cake, because i hated most photos and coordinates with it. i ordered the MTO out of curiosity knowing it'd be my only chance to get it and try it on with the worst case scenario being reselling it with no loss.

then i loved it when it came in bc of the honey bear's chonky cheeks. i don't think it's super deep anon, opinions change and she likes what she likes.

[Anonymous No.10322239]

>>10319522
Why are you talking in 3rd person, you are on cgl right now and part of it.

[Anonymous No.10322262]

>post got deleted and got a warning for being off topic

>the equally-off topic post I responded to and responses are still there

ok

[Anonymous No.10322319]

>digging through deviantart and old blog posts to find pictures of my first con so I can remember the happiest two days of my life
It aint gettin better

[Anonymous No.10322335]

>haven't found cgl fun since around 2012
>see the capsule wardrobe thread
>actually hype
>Janny fucking deletes it

The only constant community creativity threads we still have are drawthreads this sucks

[Anonymous No.10322340]

>>10322335
I don’t understand why they nuked the thread instead of just banning the 2-3 spergs who were shitting it up. The thread itself didn’t break a single rule and was relevant to the board.

[Anonymous No.10322365]

>>10322340
New janny maybe?
I looked in the archive and it seems that they just had a field day deleting posts from that thread, even ones that didnt break rules, and then they just nuked it. Makes me wonder what's up but I do hope for more community creativity threads in the future.

[Anonymous No.10322377]

>>10322365
We’ve had capsule wardrobe threads before with no issue, so I hope that once the handful of posters with their bloomers in a twist go take their nap we can have another one.

Maybe the thread got deleted because one of the people who was arguing and got banned was the OP? I’m not sure if that’s how it works but it would explain it.

[Anonymous No.10322787]

>>10319600
Ouch anon...but welcome anyway.

[Anonymous No.10322796]

I had a career for 4 long years, but had to leave 3 months ago due to my struggle with narcolepsy that seems to have gotten worse and worse over the past year to the point where I developed cataplexy.

Now paying off my student loans and rent have become my main priority, now I can’t participate in many meet-ups and had to sell a handful of pieces just to make ends meet, my comm has essentially left me behind overtime and I don’t know how to cope with the loss of my favorite hobby and my lifestyle.

I literally don’t even know if this thread is the right place for this but I feel like I can’t ever just complain.

[Anonymous No.10322819]

>Find out guy at work is into anime on my last day
>talk to him for a while about anime and manga, tell him to add me on fb
>talk to him for a couple minutes
>he never responds again
WHAT DID I DO WRONG THIS TIME

[Anonymous No.10322825]

>move to new area, new no friends
>they have a cosplay wig shop
>guy working there compliments my nerd shirt
>we have a pleasant convo, he brings up going to cosplay gatherings and how he's looking forward to one coming up
>ask him where it is because I'd love to go, meet some fellow cosplayers, make new friends
>he sternly tells me that he's married
>tell him cool, I'm a lesbian who is living with my girlfriend and she would probably attend the event as well
>he gets really weird and tells me if I want to go that bad just google it
>get home
>google cosplay events in the area
>can't find shit
>next time I'm at the wig shop his Mom excitedly tells me about how proud she is of her son and shows me photos from the event

Was there something Im missing? Did this guy want to fuck me therefore tried to exclude me from local events? Was this some close knit cosplay gathering that you needed to make a blood pact to enter? Im mad I missed out and mad that guy got so fucking weird

[Anonymous No.10322849]

>>10322819
Maybe you didn’t do anything wrong. It could be anything, anon.

[Anonymous No.10322852]

>>10321809
i hope she sees this and drops you as a friend

[Anonymous No.10322867]

>trying to cope with severe mental illness, getting treatment, getting thrown around medication wise
>all C-'s and D's in last college semester, all courses available right now are fucked schedule wise and I can't take them
>can tell everyone is disappointed and frustrated with me, just want them to give up on me and stop expecting anything but they won't
>need to be enrolled full time to keep both me and my dad in our house because of our housing voucher
>only thing im looking forward to is making cosplay for con season and all i feel is dread because im convinced ill fuck it up somehow and i will feel like garbage

if my dad didnt need me i'd be tying a noose and not sewing a garment rn

[Anonymous No.10322870]

Cons are the only place I feel normal, like I can actually be myself without shame and meet other people I actually like and get a long with, and I hate that I can only go a few weekends a year. Post-con depression hits me so damn hard because I know it'll be months before I get to take off the mask, meet new people, and have fun again.

[Anonymous No.10322887]

>>10322867
go to a cheap community college until you're mentally well, then go back to uni

[Anonymous No.10322891]

>>10322887
i i am at a cheap community college....

[Anonymous No.10322897]

>>10322891
holy shit anon. i hope things start going better for you soon

[Anonymous No.10322900]

>>10322897
thank you, me too. i just wanna be genuinely happy soon...

[Anonymous No.10322908]

>spbent budget
>dream dress lisded
:DDD kill me

[Anonymous No.10322910]

>>10322908
have you ever heard of a credit card

[Anonymous No.10322915]

>>10322910
Have you heard of interest rates? One of my friends is $3k in debt because she bought too many dresses and the interest rate fucked her

[Anonymous No.10322916]

>>10322915
dude never go into debt over a fucking dress. not worth it

[Anonymous No.10322924]

>>10322910
Bad idea, Madame Bovary.

[Anonymous No.10322927]

> want to bid on LM listing
> see 'int buyers please message for quote before bidding' in seller's tos
> do exactly that, get exp af quote back
> decide to budget/pass on some other things to afford listing + shipping
> bid on last day and win listing
> check LM 3x every day since winning, no message from seller
> seller's tos state 'pay within 48h' hmmmm
> on the 3rd day seller sends me a message
> "sorry I can't ship to *your location*, the insurance doesn't go that high etc etc"
> "this is why I always have int buyers message me for a quote first, sorry"

I DID AND YOU DIDN'T MENTION ANYTHING THEN?! thanks for nothing

[Anonymous No.10322929]

Just witnessed an ex highschool classmate get a tattoo of some cosplayer's signature and the cosplayer replying to them

[Anonymous No.10322930]

>>10322796
I'm so sorry anon, this is so shitty...
I hope you can find a solution to this

[Anonymous No.10322936]

>>10322825
Even though he's married, he got his panties in a twist because you rejected him. He wanted you to want him, regardless of his marital status.

[Anonymous No.10323017]

>>10322930
AYRT, thanks anon I appreciate it !

[Anonymous No.10323021]

>>10322915
You're not going to go in debt if you put $300 on a card for one thing just pay it off in a month

[Anonymous No.10323419]

>>10322916
Thank you, I needed to hear this today too.

[Anonymous No.10323432]

i’m having some mixed feelings about my friend. she likes to do closet cosplays and “bimbofication” with her tits out. she’s black and has this issue with her baby daddy dating a white woman, she seems trans/homophobic when she claims not to be. and she will put down white women all of the time because of her issues with the men she deals with but at the same time has this fixed fetishization for asians/the culture. it’s kind of off putting to me, especially since i’m white/asian myself.

idk i just find her really problematic at times and don’t know how seriously i want to spend time with someone like that at a con again. i hate it when people get upset and try to make me feel guilty for “being attractive” when they are scared the person they’re interested in likes me like some random assumption. it’s not fair. do any other gulls have this issue with their friends?

[Anonymous No.10323439]

>>10322916
Ayrt Thats why I’m never getting a credit card and if i do I’m not stupid enough to use it for brand. Even if its $300 there’s interest and people tend to put it off and buy a little more and it never ends

[Anonymous No.10323443]

>>10323439
I hope it is obvious to everyone that if you put it on the CC and pay the CC in full by the end of the month, there is no interest. You only get interest on stuff you do not pay the principal of.

[Anonymous No.10323483]

>>10322915
presumably you budget by month, so you could just pay it off the next month or two. it's not rocket science

[Anonymous No.10323484]

>>10322825
it's interesting that you don't even consider the fact that he might just be homophobic

[Anonymous No.10323485]

>>10323439
>I’m never getting a credit card
I guess you also never plan on buying a house and a car? Credit scores are very important

[Anonymous No.10323487]

>>10323432
wait, is the baby daddy asian? if so i'm really surprised he would just leave her like that.

and to be fair, race fetishization is a huge and problematic thing that exists. especially white men fetishizing asian girls. so it's not that outrageous of an assumption to be honest (presuming you look more asian than white)

[Anonymous No.10323565]

>>10323443
And what if something unexpected happens like taking your pet to the doctor or your car breaks down

[Anonymous No.10323568]

>>10323565
Then you don’t have enough savings to have a lolita budget in the first place dumbass

[Anonymous No.10323580]

>>10321539
I'm happy for you, Anon!

[Anonymous No.10323611]

>>10323485
Not everyone lives in America.

[Anonymous No.10323815]

>>10323611
All developed countries use credit scores... are you from some shitty third world country?

[Anonymous No.10323834]

I’ll be cosplaying for the first time in a few years at a local con, and I’m pretty nervous. I haven’t been able to cosplay because I gained a lot of depression weight in college, and I’ve almost lost all of it, but I’m still chubby. I dunno what else to say, but I think I’m just nervous that I won’t look great in photos. Yeah, I’m skinnier but I’m still a fatty chan.

[Anonymous No.10323835]

>>10323815
No, a wealthy European one. The credit system here isn't based on credit cards, but on income, how regular you are paying your bills, and any outstanding debt you have. I've bought a car and a house without ever touching a credit card.

[Anonymous No.10323925]

>Buy eurofag size 34 shoes because the converter said they would fit
>They're too big on me so I have to stuff them with paper or something
>Burando shoes are way too big on me
I'm not really mad but I kind a wish my feet were a normal size so not every pair of shoes I buy fits like clown shoes because my feet are the size of like a 2nd graders or some shit.

[Anonymous No.10323927]

>>10322936
that.. surprisingly makes sense.

[Anonymous No.10323929]

>>10323925
Catherine cottage makes lolita shoes for adults and children, if your feet are small look there.

[Anonymous No.10323939]

>>10319472
I was eating Chick Fill A in the con hallway. Some gay dude got offended and started calling my gf a "tootlet"

[Anonymous No.10324054]

>>10323939
>tootlet
Is that like a small braphog?

[Anonymous No.10324090]

>>10322927
Maybe LM ate your message or the seller has ADhD and is incapable to do things on time

[Anonymous No.10324093]

I'm in debt because of a degree that I didn't finish. I really wish I had spent all that money on lolita instead.

[Anonymous No.10324151]

>>10322910
Have you ever heard of PayPal Credit?
you can literally finance some dresses with no interest for 6 months as long as you pay it off completely in that duration of time.

SOME purchases qualify, but not all purchases.

[Anonymous No.10324158]

>>10322910
>>10322910
Have you ever heard of PayPal Credit?
you can literally finance some dresses with no interest for 6 months as long as you pay it off completely in that duration of time.

SOME purchases qualify, but not all purchases will. Just don't stack $500+ on one month if you're not capable of paying it off 6 months down the road

[Anonymous No.10324165]

>>10324090
Nah seller's just a pos and gave me a self-pity spree reply/claimed they never got asked to ship to x and left me on read when I sent them screenshotted proof lmao

w/e don't get my money then, never buying or selling to their childish ass lesson learned

[Anonymous No.10324231]

>>10324165
Leave negative feedback

[Anonymous No.10324241]

>>10324093
oh hey, that was me 8 years ago. things eventually got better, i was able to finish my degree online later and get a good job. hang in there anon!

[Anonymous No.10324251]

>>10324231
I was rather inclined to at the start but desu after the fuss I'm too done with the situation to care. There's not much to really describe in a 'warning for other potential buyers' way other than 'this seller will waste your time and cry victim when confronted'

they already have 13 negatives so really I was hesitant from the start, lesson learned

[Anonymous No.10324257]

>>10319472
Stick to what you like best for your own wardrobe with no compromise and yet learn to judge everything else by ‘does it basically follow the rules’. The rest is indeed nitpick. It’s better for the fashion to evolve and not die. If everyone needed to be perfect and wear precious burando, it would have died by now more than it already has. Plus it would be much more generic and same-looking. Pic related, that’s a rare piece stamped out 4x like a cookie cutter, not so perfect or special at all.

[Anonymous No.10324303]

Hey, just a hypothetical but... If I sell something for cheap on LM, would it be rude to ask the buyer AFTER they send me my money how much they would have been willing to pay for it? I really just want to know how much of a steal-deal I offered....

[Anonymous No.10324307]

>>10324303
I would thing that was a weird question and probably just put you off with an answer like, ‘oh, idk anon, the price was just right for me right now and I like the dress so that’s why I bought it’.
It’s up to you to do the research to figure this shit out, don’t you think? Or at least ask on the bst thread?

[Anonymous No.10324310]

>>10324307
Thank you, but no, this is a feels post. You're right about the research part though. I'm new to selling things, and did my research afterwards. Now that I know that I'm selling something people covet and want to pay more than what I'm selling for... It's a complicated feel, but I want to feel that I'm doing someone a favour by sticking with my original price, because that's how much I want in exchange for this item. So now I'm just sitting here dreaming and having major feels by imagining if that would happen to me. Don't we all want to find a high-demand item for cheap?

[Anonymous No.10324311]

>>10324303
something to be asked here on cgl, I'd personally think it really weird to be asked this, esp if I hadn't received the item yet I'd be wondering if you were trying to change the sale or sth

[Anonymous No.10324316]

>>10324310
I guess if it is such a high demand item you’d know it because it sold right away. If not to someone who would love it, to someone who sees an easy money resale. Not everyone buys cheap just to flip but I wouldn’t say no to buying something cheap, wearing it once or twice and then selling it for market value. That’s an easy way to get some extra dosh to buy more for my wardrobe.

[Anonymous No.10324813]

>take wig off
>realize how ugly my thinass hair is

[Anonymous No.10324818]

>>10324813

[Anonymous No.10324824]

>>10324310
>>10324316
I think most people don't know something is worth a lot unless it was already on their wishlist and they're familiar with the market value. Unless it's something iconic like iron gate or puppet circus that everyone knows is rare.

[Anonymous No.10324894]

>>10322796
I have NwC, too. Shit fucking blows. It’s the main reason I stopped making cosplay. I have no time or energy to make it anymore, which is particularly frustrating because I REALLY enjoyed it.

Have you looked into loan forgiveness for your student loans? People with disabilities such as narcolepsy can apply for it. Doesn’t mean you’ll get it, but it’s worth a shot.
Best of luck your way, dude.

[Anonymous No.10324906]

> knowing someone is online but your message is left unread

my mood is swinging between 'fine see if I care!' & 'damn but I do' ugh

[Anonymous No.10324953]

My entire housing complex is being fumigated and I can't relocate my whole wardrobe and everything else I own while it's happening. The thought of anything being damaged or stolen is making me want to kill myself. I know other shit in my life is making me extra fragile right now, but I have so much anxiety tied to the safety of my material possessions, I feel absolutely insane.

[Anonymous No.10324961]

How the fuck do I make myself want to have sex?

[Anonymous No.10324965]

>>10324961
Why do you want to want to have sex?

[Anonymous No.10324968]

>>10324965
My bf will be visiting soon

[Anonymous No.10324996]

>>10324968
if your bf isn't attractive enough to you to make you want to have sex, that's a bad sign

[Anonymous No.10325004]

>>10324996
He’s super attractive and I love him. I’m just really uncomfortable with the thought of having sex, and I’ve never had a sex drive either.

Idk. I haven’t even met him in person yet, so maybe that will change things

[Anonymous No.10325092]

>>10325004
>I love him.
>I haven’t even met him in person yet

[Anonymous No.10325264]

>>10324968
>>10325004
Why not date someone who's fine with your lack of sex drive instead of making yourself uncomfortable?

[Anonymous No.10325273]

>>10325092
I fell in love with my husband on the second day of us chatting on the internet. It's been 10 years in February, we've been married over 3 years, lived together for 5 years, and I can confidently state that I was sincerely in Real Love with him from that day on, even though we hadn't met.

[Anonymous No.10325307]

>>10325092
Long distance relationships are a thing, yeah.

>>10325264
He is fine with it, and he’s made that very clear, but I can’t help but feel selfish anyway. Maybe I should just learn to accept myself the way I am like he does to me

[Anonymous No.10325435]

>Get into hygiene and fashion because /cgl/ says it will help me pick-up.
>Go to a con, find that it didn't change anything.
>Get sexually assaulted by a Chinese business man who followed me home from the con. Tell him to stop but he won't and I don't know what to do because I thought this only happened in prison. Did he think I was gay because hygiene + fashion?
>Six months later have PTSD and have to visit rape clinic every month, still haven't told anyone.

I fucking hate going to the rape clinic, it's not like a normal hospital clinic where you just walk in, you have to say your name to an intercom every time you go in and the nurses passing by not only know where you're going but who you are. I'm always the only guy in the waiting room, the underage girls cower with their mothers when they see me and the adults give me dirty looks. Even when I try to ignore them by looking at the posters or flip through the pamphlets everything is for women. And what do you know, all the counselors are female to. I get why they're female, but the issue is I don't think they really understand my perspective as a straight man. When I first mentioned it to my psychologist who referred me he really emphasised the need to be selective with who I tell. The counselor on the other hand only wants to talk about power and says rape is about control not sex but she's dead wrong. It's an injury against my worth as a man and an invasion of my sexuality as a heterosexual, and that will haunt me for eternity. Even if I do get a girlfriend, what do I do? I can't tell her what happened, she'll lose all respect for me. She'll think I'm a weakling, or some closet case. My psychologist says to say say it was a physical assault but how is that going to work if I have a panic attack during sex? "Oh sorry I ran out of the bedroom last night, I was suddenly reminded of this time I got beaten up." It seems like forgetting is the only way, but PTSD always finds a way to get back to you.

[Anonymous No.10325454]

>>10325435
The world would be so much better if sex didn’t exist.

[Anonymous No.10325468]

>>10325454
I don't really know what the problem is. I just feel this constant cognitive dissonance and pressure on myself every time I'm around women. I walk down the street at night and women change to the other side of the road, but if I told her my incident she'd lose respect for me. Double standards exist in the niche situations which people rarely find themselves and so never want to acknowledge. Imagine me, a man, the perpetrator of 99% of crimes being scared of a woman, the victim of 99% of crimes. I must be crazy. At least when I want to be left alone I am. Women are always being approached by men, and even other women trying to babysit. Sometimes I wonder if that gives them more opportunities to see that people aren't so bad after all, but it's clear the truth is that every woman should be scared of strangers no matter how nice they seem.

[Anonymous No.10325540]

>>10325468
you're on a board full of women, let me be the first to tell you that women don't actually lose respect for victims of assault. 1 in 5 women have gone through what you have, if anything they will have empathy for you and a feeling of community. just stop being such an incel about it and people will actually like you more.
>hurr hurr muh fragile masculinity, wah wah wimmin only like rock hard tuff guy
You sound legitimately disabled. Women love weak men.

[Anonymous No.10325591]

>>10325540
Jeez, making a post about a guy confessing his traumas about muh incels...

[Anonymous No.10325621]

I got a jsk in the mail today. It's a different shade of black than I thought it was. At first I was really disappointed, because the coords I had planned out in my head weren't going to work out after all. But then I realized that it still works with items that I have in my wardrobe, and I can coord it in a completely different way than I originally planned. So I'm still super happy.
I'm not even shitposting, I just genuinely love lolita.

[Anonymous No.10325639]

>>10325591
Newsflash, you can be a victim and still ramble on about typical incel things like he just did.

[Anonymous No.10325803]

>>10325540
I appreciate your point, but I feel like you haven't really addressed my main concern, and have in fact revealed why it's so alarming to me. Would you say similar things to a female survivor? You talk about weak men, but does that mean that female survivors are weak to? Wouldn't you commend her bravery? You speak of fragile masculinity but at the same time you telling me not to be an incel is no different from you telling me to man up about it. And the thing is most of the time I don't worry about these things, but trauma is insidious. I wrote my original post because I had a traumatic dream which triggered me, and there's nothing I can do to protect myself from those invasive experiences!

But you're right, my issue is that I haven't found a community to reach out to because I feel like there isn't one, or that reaching out could do me more harm than good when the truth is there are other people who have had similar experiences and have as much to gain from talking to me as I do to them, and I just need to get out and look for them.

[Anonymous No.10325846]

I want to cosplay an obscure minor character from a not-so-obscure fandom. I really wish I could drag someone into cosplaying from it with me, but literally none of my friends who cosplay like it.

[Anonymous No.10325855]

>>10325846
What character?

[Anonymous No.10326005]

>>10325435
>>10325803
I understand your pain and I understand why you're upset. Trauma doesn't always make sense, and especially not to people who haven't experienced trauma of their own.
At the same time, I can see why that anon brought up incels. Why are you ranting about women, when a woman didn't even assault you? You say things like
> Imagine me, a man, the perpetrator of 99% of crimes being scared of a woman, the victim of 99% of crimes.
Most of your thoughts about women simply seem to be projection - fear that they will look down, mock, or disrespect you. But it's just that, projection. These things didn't happen to you. The person that hurt you was a man. The few women you've described interacting with - the nurses, the counselor - all have a neutral or positive disposition towards you.
I do agree that the "advice" to lie and say it was a physical assault is simply stupid. I agree with what that other anon said in that you should definitely be connecting with other victims of sexual assault, especially those who are further on the road to recovery. You can learn a lot from them, and your anxieties about sex can begin to be healed. The best advice I can give is that if you trust someone enough to have sex with them and be physically vulnerable, then likely your relationship with them is in a position where you can be emotionally vulnerable too. At least I'd hope so, you deserve that anon.
I feel for you in that my assault was not typical to the stereotype either. I'm a woman who was sexually assaulted by another woman. It was difficult to navigate a program and community that was not necessarily catered to what I went through, but everyone else was very understanding. And when they couldn't understand the finer details due to the difference of what happened to me vs them, they at least empathized on an emotional level as fellows.

[Anonymous No.10326021]

>>10325435
Knew this was bait from the first line. No one here would ever give a man advice on how to "pick up" women.

[Anonymous No.10326047]

>>10325435
That's really impressive you went to a rape clinic and a psychologist. You've taken a lot steps in only 6 months. I know you want to heal immediately, but everyone heals at different paces. Just know that your hygiene and fashion we're not the reasons this happened to you. Don't stop doing things you love, but do stop if it's only for the chicks.

> the underage girls cower...and the adults give me dirty looks...
I doubt they give a shit about you. They have their own problems and they don't want to be there either.

>It's an injury against my worth as a man and an invasion of my sexuality as a heterosexual...
Sexual assault is always an unwanted experience, regardless on sexuality. Most women will never judge you for experiencing this event, and if they do, you should be able to tell they're not a good person and choose not to divulge your personal trauma with them. Same with men you are friends with, if they treat you badly you shouldn't have those people in your life. When you feel ready to enter a serious relationship, find the right time to tell your partner before you share intimate acts.

[Anonymous No.10326258]

>>10325803
You insist on villainizing women and feminine traits, when it is a man who assaulted you. That is why you are incel. Own up to being a weak man and then you'll not seem pathetic.

[Anonymous No.10326584]

>>10326005
Thanks, it's good hearing from someone else that has found themselves in an uncommon situation. You're right that I am projecting my own insecurities, the things I fear aren't actually in my environment, the person who hurt me isn't in that community, and there's no one in that community who will hurt me either. I guess that sometime we can get caught up in our expectations and ignore what the reality of the situation. It makes me feel a lot better hearing that someone else managed to get what they needed from the system, it can feel very isolating at times. Resources for sexual assault victims are so limited that it seems like you just have to make do with what you get, but again that's just the expectation, not the reality. I think I've gotten a bit too caught up in qualifications and that's made me ignore the benefits of simply empathising with other victims.

>>10326047
Thanks, I think following on from the last point you're right that I want to get over as quickly as possible. When you sit around reading about treatment outcomes you tend to fall into this deterministic mindset where you sign on for a 6 week course of treatment, engage as best as you can and be almost back to baseline in two months. It was a little bit scary when I realised that I didn't have Acute Stress Disorder anymore but had full-blown PTSD. I find thinking about why this did or didn't happen to me really distressing. I mean the guy told me I was pretty, provocative and that he wanted to have sex with me.

Having heard it for the second time this thread I think you're right that most women won't judge me, and you're right that if they do I shouldn't spend time with them. I only expect rejection because my ex-gf's both confided in me that they held homophobic/biphobic views (Anal sex is impure, bisexual men aren't real men, bisexual men are gay in denial) and I wonder whether this experience would leave me open to the same stigma. But maybe I just made the same mistake twice.

[Anonymous No.10326618]

>>10326584
what they thought doesn't reflect what all women think, or even what most women think.

>find the right time to tell your partner before you share intimate acts.

I haven't been thinking that far ahead but you're right, I should. You can never really predict when trauma will arise. I only really said that originally as an example of why lying to people wouldn't work in the end.

You're right that I should stop being so frustrated with the system, these things take time.

>>10326258
Look I'm not really following you, I'm just frustrated at my recovery and feel like I have no outlet for my frustration. I'm not trying to say that female victims are weak, and my perception is that few people consider female victims weak. At the end of the day loss of bodily autonomy and self-efficacy is the problem, but in my case that manifests as feelings of weakness. I got king-hit years ago and the only reason I thought that was my most helpless situation was because I didn't think anyone would ever try to rape me. It's completely obvious that I'm weak. I didn't punch him, I didn't scream at him, I didn't run from him. I just stood there and said 'no don't touch me'. Most crimes involving straight and gay men are homophobic attacks, not gay on straight rapes. Seriously, what's even the point of admitting it if it's this obvious? I'm weak, I'm a failure as a straight man because I'm too weak to defend myself from rapists. There you go.

[Anonymous No.10326707]

>>10326618
Please don't consider yourself weak, anon. It's very easy to say "why didn't I fight back?" but it's much more complicated than that. People shut down in these situations because of self-preservation. So many rape victims freeze up, because fighting back could escalate the situation into something even worse.
The victim is someone who's innocently going about their day, while their attacker has planned and prepared for days, weeks, months, to hurt someone. At that point, it's not even a comparison of physical strength. No one expects their normal, average day to suddenly become the worst day of their life.
You did nothing wrong. You survived.