/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

>be carefree weeaboo, keep to myself
>watching anime late at night on computer after parents fell asleep
>ramen all day erry day, wanting to go to the mall all the time to go in the back of FYE for japanese goods and borders/waldenbooks
>tried to have straight black azn hair, ended up being a frizzy gross mess
>draw real good
>flash forward a few years, get harassed by a "friend" real bad over all of the above and a developing ed at the time
>"friend" moves away
>lose interest in everything japanese for a few years, distance myself as much as possible from it
>can't get back into things anymore despite multiple attempts

There's just some kind of mental block, I don't know. Everything's much different now, and I just can't adapt. I like general Japanese lifestyle things, but when I watch anime I can't sit through it and the art now is so ugly. I can't read anything new because I just hate it and myself. I think maybe being around people with the same interests would help me, but I hide my power levels so I avoid cringe. My appearance would probably give them the impression that I'm a tryhard, when in fact I'm the biggest fucking closet otaku with knowledge about really obscure shit.

Hopefully one day I'll get over it.