/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

I have clinical depression and no people to talk to talk with or see, and my boyfriend can only talk to me at night for an hour and I only get to see him once a week so I'm alone at home all the time and /cgl/ is the only thing that I have and that I like to go check on.
Other than that I'll look up some dances or dress up and see what outfits I can put together but I have noone in to share stuff with or talk with so I go here to talk about clothes and stuff with people so I can be happy for a bit instead of constantly laying down in the same room at home feeling depressed and empty.
I've had a streak of bad luck though and I keep accidentally doing things to make people mad here and so they say things to me and I end up crying somewhat often because of it but I don't know what I'd do or who I would talk to and share things with if I didn’t have this site.
I tried posting in a couple /cgl/ friend searches to see if anyone interested in Jfashion lived near so I could make a good friend with similar interests, but I got no responses either time I posted… I used to have 2 good friends I hung out with a lot, but one moved to a different state and hardly talks to me anymore and my other friend’s mom got brain tumors and has been busy and stressed helping her and doesn’t have spare time and isn’t messaging anyone. At least once everything’s better me and her can talk and hang out again though.
I just wish I could have someone to talk to and someone to talk and dress Jfashion with and hang out sometimes. All I do at home is lay down and think, watch anime, wish I had someone to talk to, wish my boyfriend was here or could at least talk to me or text me, and go on /cgl/ which is mostly what I do but sometimes stuff on here really does hurt me and I don't want to have to stop going here, but I already am really depressed and hearing stuff on here really isn't helping.
It really is hard and I want to leave /cgl/ but I don’t know what I’d do without it.