/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

>>10015168
Aw im glad, I really empathize.
I feared that too, literally it would give me this intense sick/dizzy feeling even thinkng about people staring at me while in lolita, because in my head they're thinking I'm a freak, that I dress weird etc. Part of the problem is that the anxiety makes you believe you're the centre of the world, not in a good way. Like, that people will see you and it'll literally mind boggle them, as if they've never seen anything weird before. That isn't true though, we're prob at most a passing interest, some stares will also be enjoyment or jealousy. I try to remember that, also that people's thoughts don't matter at all and don't affect me. For me it was like a fuckin trained response from years of feeling the need to blend in so that people couldn't judge me, because I believed myself so ugly that if ppl looked at me they'd be disgusted, so I purposefully did nothing to stand out. Going from that- to not just wanting to be confident, but wanting to express yourself by wearing a crazy eye-catching fashion is two huge hurdles. Thats what i mean by it's a self confidence problem first and foremost.

Personally, this is maybe bad, and hopefully I'll have the courage to go everywhere one day, but I feel most confident in places that aren't chavvy (or 'trashy' if you're not British). I'm more comfortable in affluent cities where there's lots of expressive fashion, even if its just modern trendy stuff. I feel comfortable in countryside places with older ppl, who aren't bothered and don't look twice. Generally I avoid scummy areas/venues/people because people are shocked and invasive toward anyone even dressed properly, never mind in a lacy dress lmao. It's definitely location based, maybe try wearing the dresses on a day out somewhere quiet and peaceful, and work your way up to populated cities. Anyway no prob, there's lots of 'confidence in lolita' advice but not much 'Starting from [in my case] intense self hatred' advice