/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

My friend and I made a promise several months ago that neither one would commit suicide as long as the other one was alive. Then I learned today that on Friday, they swallowed half a bottle of pills and went to sleep, as they said they "hoped for the best". They're okay now, fortunately. I'm extremely concerned over their well-being, and you have no idea how thankful I am that they're okay. I don't know what I'd do without them. But. There's a part of me that feels betrayed, conflicted, and slightly bitter.

For one, we made a promise and they broke it. I know that they have their problems, I have mine. I know how tempting suicide is. I want to die so badly. But the fact that they actually tried, and didn't try to stop after they did it.... I am so immature and dumb, but it upsets me. In January, I tried to kill myself with a whole bottle of pills, but I threw it up shortly after swallowing them because I remembered our promise, and I didn't want to let them down! I'm still here because they're here. But do they even care about our promise like I do?

Secondly, their parents would let them seek out professional help to any extent that they need, yet they don't want it. And here I am, unable to get professional help because my parents are adamantly against it, and I am currently in a financial and social position where I can't go against their orders. It's like, there's a light at the end of their tunnel and they refuse to move towards it, meanwhile I feel like I keep running blindly in the dark. I can't find a light anywhere.

I'm about to just call the promise off, really. What even is the point anymore.

>mfw used to have back problems all the time
>wore 38D/38C, aka my sister's hand me down bras
>got fitted last summer for the first time
>actually a 32DDD/32E
>back doesn't hurt anymore, boobies are happy

I know I'm preaching to the choir, but if any of you are on the fence about getting fitted, DO IT! It will change your life.