/biz/ - Business & Finance

>be me on Friday evening
>finish work
>go to gym, waste time online, sleep
>wake up on Saturday morning
>read history book while drinking coffee; start reading acclaimed recent novel as well
>eat food, binge, browse internet, feel fat
>go for my regular Saturday 11 mile walkerino while listening to cumtownino and a few alt-right podcasts
>walk was as dull as it has been recently; realise summer has ended
>browse internet when I got back
>slept
>woke up too early on Sunday morning
>read 100 pages of the novel
>sleep for 30 minutes
>eat food and junk food
>mindlessly browse internet for 9 hours (now typing this)

The novel I'm reading is kind of following the trend of other modern novels, in that it's addictive at the start, partially just because I'm used to reading translations of boring old novels or history books that contain one damn thing after another, but the novel starts to feel pointless later on and ends up feeling insubstantial and possibly not worth finishing. This is still at the addictive stage. It seems like the author aimed at upper middle class American insecurities with a baseball bat and started swinging.

I haven't done anything producerbullworthy for months. Feels bad.

I've gained weight since restarting weightlifting. Feels bad man. I'm sure today was the last binge ever because I ate all the remaining junk food.

I watched Tenet recently and it was pure kino. I will see it again at some point.

The total waste of my 20s really hit me because the novel was satirising nice guys and women that settle for them (among other things), and I saw a few triggering /tv/ topics on being a loser. At least being a total social void gives me a free pass to not be considerate at work or give to charity, etc. But being an ugly loser sucks. There are some social moments at work in recent times that I would describe if they weren't doxworthy. But trust me.

I bet there are less than 20 photos of me in the past 5 years lol. I have a high level diary though.

>be me yesterday
>wake up, work, finish work, browse internet mindlessly for hours while worrying about how I'm procrastinating away my life
>go for a short jog
>sleep
>woken up by alarm
>start working
>finish work
>mindlessly browse internet from 6.30 to now, 11.30
>feel guilty the entire time about procrastinating my life away
>missed out on today's gym session

What it comes down to is that I can't bear to put effort in to anything when failing may expose me to hard limits, such as IQ, lack of time, the fact that Chad and Stacey get everything handed for free, etc.

I considered buying books now that I have money but I don't want to spend £7 for a book.

Work feels like it's winding down. Today was such a low pressure day. There are some co-workers who just don't do anything I ask them. I have time to do everything vaguely major at work, so why don't they do things?

I made this really great bait topic on biz and pol recently.

I watched another Moldbug podcast on 1.5 speed.

I'm fairly sure tomorrow is the day my life starts for real...

>be me
>wake up too early, browse internet on phone in bed
>drink coffee and read pretty good non-fiction book
>eat food, have a medium binge
>browse internet for a short time, lie in bed for an hour because my sleep wasn't good
>browse internet for another hour
>go for my habitual 11 mile Saturday walk
>listen to Cum Town, Richard Spencer, a few midwit BBC shows
>walk felt very uneventful and it would've felt banal but didn't because it was still Saturday and I really wasn't thinking anything at all
>now browsing internet since walk finished
>may go for a short jog (have just decided not to)

I have some holidays coming up at work and my manager is on holiday all week so I don't think Sunday will have the usual mournful feel that they normally have.

The vidya I'm playing is a total timesink grind.

My pre-coronavirus weekends feel an age away. I haven't had starboocks or fast food for months but my diet has stayed shit. It seems strange to think I'm literally made of junk food.

My 20s are on the verge of ending and they have been so wasted. Both during and after university. My ability to waste my life mindlessly browsing the internet is superhuman. Zero social experiences or any passions at all.

I hope I'm able to stop having junk food so I can be thinner and under 100 kg. A fat person can't be profoundly sad. I'm sure Sunday will be my last day of junk food.

Currently remembering my first few jobs in London and how pathetic I was socially. Currently remembering last summer and the music I was listening to, which was sunnier and I walked everywhere in London. There was this sunny day where I went to the benefits office, then went for a walk through this crowded street and then to my regular walk. And I remember sitting in the sun next to my favourite library. And the evening McDonalds. I was truly a free range human.

Cureently trying to meme myself in to being a type A go-getter

>be me
>finish work on Friday evening
>go jogging, browse internet, sleep
>wake up at 9 am
>browse internet on phone
>sleep
>go to gym
>do chores, go to store to buy binge food
>eat food
>go for my long Saturday walk
>listen to Cum Town and a Richard Spencer podcast
>walk is my usual 11 mile Saturday walk but it feels particularly bland
>get home
>read a book
>sleep
>wake up at 10 am (day feels like it has a lot of promise)
>browse internet on phone
>drink coffee while finishing a book about politics
>eat food, including the remaining junk food
>have been browsing internet since 2 pm (now 6.50 pm)
>Sunday over
>could go for a walk but it might feel pointless
>will likely play vidya, then then jog

Lifting weights after months without any gym feels fairly kino but it quickly reverted back to nothing special.

I considered buying actual books or vidya but I can get all the books I want online and vidya is ultimately a pointless timesink.

I have spent most of my evenings after work on walks or mindless internet browsing. I daydream about finally becoming productive and starting my real life, but then I've thought like that for over 4 years.

Feels sad how quickly the weekend went by. This morning when I woke up, things felt fairly kino. Then Sunday flew by. At least the rest of my life goes by quickly, so next weekend will come soon.

At work I'm busy but progress in projects is going by so slowly. I've saved so much money since the coronavirus stuff started. I no longer have any short term money worries. I hope the situation continues.

>be me yesterday
>work was a low intensity grind of emails
>was an extremely sunny day
>finished work, browsed internet, went for a walk at 8.30
>thought it would be a long, sunny, kino walk but it was dark quickly
>listened to the latest Moldbug podcast appearance
>got home
>went for a little joggerino
>browsed internet on phone in bed; read book on phone for 20 minutes, slept
>be me today
>woke up at 8 am
>browsed internet on phone in bed instead of sleeping
>worked
>work was still a grind
>finished work at 6
>slept for 2 hours because of tiredness
>browsed internet mindlessly
>haven't gone to the gym
>can't be bothered jogging
>decided to have a mini-binge after going to the store (enjoy the bright lights in hot weather)
>will eat, watch nick fuentes videos on my laptop, then retire to bed and hopefully read a book

This afternoon I had this memory of myself 7 or 8 years ago when I went on the bus to my university library one dark, late autumn evening. I remember a very dark evening that was slightly cold. I sat in a large concrete and bright building and read V. I enjoyed the book but I can now see that engaging with pomo was a waste.

I have become such a mindless internet browser recently. 4chan, reddit, alt-right twitter, etc. My attention span has never actually been the slightest bit negatively affected. Reading for multiple hours has been easy when I've wanted to do it. But I have zero producerbull inclinations. I have been telling myself for 7 years that I'll become one. I wish I could bother to learn programming and actually make stuff.

I seriously contemplated buying more video games yesterday. I thought "just a few more" but it seems so loserish and pointless. I am so aimless I watched the last 20 minutes of a football match today.

It's quite strange seeing young people talk about "alternatives to university". When I did my A levels I went unthinkingly to university but I don't regret it at all. What alternatives are there?

>be me, late on Saturday night
>didn't go jogging on Saturday night because I was so tired after 11 miles of walking
>go to sleep
>wake up early at 6 am
>browse internet on phone in bed for 3 hours
>sleep for another 3 hours
>wake up
>extremely sunny day; feels like I'm on holiday
>read an ok non-fiction book
>eat food
>browse internet, leave flat to go for a very long walkerino
>go for the heckin long walkerino
>listen to the entire moldbug hyperpodcastism episode plus some cum town
>walk for about 13 miles
>see a Chad with 4 7+s, further confirming the hypergamy-bleeding-in-to-reality theory I had stated on Saturday
>Sunday's walk is still just an inferior version of Saturday's: slightly less sunny, less busy, felt more pointless
>got back to flat; intended to go to gym but was too tired; ate more junk food, went to bed feeling fat
>slept from 3 am to just before 10 am
>work (work is medium busy compared to busy last week and very slow the week before)
>have lunch
>work
>finish work
>browse internet
>now going for a walk and will either gym or jog afterwards

I'm always sad when the weekend ends but judging by how fast Monday went by, the weekend will be here in no time.

I've wasted 2 hours on eating and internet browsing after work. If I had went for my walk only 1 hour ago it could've potentially been a, dare I say it, kino walk.

I felt sad that I don't have any specialist skills like Moldbug and can't programme a new operating system that even other programmers can't understand. On a scale of 1 to inter-universal teichmuller theory, I'd say Urbit is around a 4, which is incredible.

I felt like I was openly cringing in the morning after a few calls with people. I hate when they refer to me (they were doing it in a praiseworthy way). I cringed so much. I kept repeating the term "cringe" in my head and sometimes repeating it out loud.

>be me
>had a lazy week at work last week
>this week was more busy
>had a few fairly kino evening walks, but never quite matching the best ones
>finish working yesterday afternoon
>browse internet, go to gym, play vidya a little bit
>sleep, wake up this morning at 9 am
>lie in bed for another hour, while sometimes browsing internet
>read book on my phone while drinking coffee
>try starting another book and realise I like almost nothing (made a long /lit/ topic about that)
>ate food
>went to store to buy binge food
>ate Netflix and Chill flavoured Ben and Jerry's
>browsed internet a little more
>went for a long walk
>listened to Cum Town and a podcast with Richard Spencer
>somehow found an open public toilet, had a shit, felt renewed
>still walking
>will go jogging later today, then either vidya or internet while drinking Coke zero

Whenever I see a lightly dressed girl today, my immediate thought is "Is coffee good for you??!!!!?"

I've unironically seen a male out with two females multiple times today. The 80/20 rule is no longer just an online or invisible irl rule.

I went two or three days without junk food and my weight literally went down by almost 2 kg. I know it's water weight but still.

I haven't had fast food for months.

I hope I can be non-fat during summer next year. I was daydreaming about being 20 kg thinner and then walking all day and then binging on fast food at the end of the day.

The vidya I'm playing right now is so grindy. It's just a timesink for losers. Other people code vidya in their spare times, losers like me play them. I haven't even contemplated ever having any type of social life in the past year or something, so maybe I can finally channel the loserdom in to productive activity.

>be me on Friday after work
>went to the gym for the first time in a long time
>only got a few lifts in because it was so busy
>slept really late because of internet browsing on phone
>wake up after 6 hours of sleep
>read novel; is boring and pointless; start reading ok non-fiction book
>eat food; have a binge (including Ben and Jerry's)
>browse internet
>lie in bed and intend to sleep a bit more but then browse internet on phone
>watch end of FA Cup final
>go for a walk; listen to Cum Town and a rationalist podcast
>initially a little cloudy but for a while the walk becomes kino; needed the toilet so I ended the walk early
>couldn't be bothered jogging at night
>browse internet in bed, sleep
>wake up on Sunday morning
>read boring novel; feel sad that I feel like I need to finish it and that I've done nothing producerbullish
>try to think of a productivity system that would stop making me feel guilty and start doing anything
>think of one; feel optimistic; have since forgotten it
>read another non-fiction book
>play vidya, eat
>eat
>go to store to buy chocolate; sun makes me feel optimistic
>browse internet
>play vidya
>decide to go for a walk that would make up for the previous one
>don't go for a walk
>go jogging, sleep
>wake up at 9 am after 8 hours of sleep
>browse internet on phone, have a shit, so much free time before work
>work; feel low energy anyway; so little to do
>finish work
>about to go for a walk that I predict will be fairly, dare I say it, kino

Currently remembering the night in 2018 when I sat in my tiny flat and watched Djokovic vs Nadal on tv. And then when it finished I was so high energy because of all the coffee I'd been drinking. I then didn't go to the gym for some reason.

Currently realising the last summer of my 20s wasn't spent walking around in the crowd, feeling sad, but in deserted places, feeling sad.

I want to binge everyday but I want to lose weight. I think my ennui would be so much more profound if I was 10 kg lighter.

>be me
>wake up after just enough sleep
>have a shit, browse internet and drink coffee for 15 minutes before starting work
>start work
>have had so little to do this week; spend around half the working day browsing internet on my phone
>work I asked to be done is being done by others, so ironically this week will still be classed as a productive one for me
>spend final working time reading 1 % of the bible for the pseud cred
>spent over 2 hours since work ended drinking coffee and browsing internet (would've went for a walk but decided to save it for tomorrow)
>will play vidya, then go jogging, then have a mini binge (haven't had junk food for 2 days), then play more vidya

I remember discovering this video around 1 year ago when I was sad and it gave me hope: Groyper Love

I saw the way a senior employee wrote an extended email and without even reading it, just by skimming and taking in the placement of the capital letters, commas, full stops, paragraph lengths, I unironically came to the conclusion that I was smarter than him lol. So it gave me hope that I can be promoted to that level. Although the job would still be boring.

I went for a very kino walk a few days ago.

I spent almost all of yesterday evening going through old Moldbug posts. His posts about civil rights and blacks were like /pol/.

Currently feeling sad for doing absolutely nothing producerbullworthy in almost a year. Maybe more. I haven't really put consistent effort over a long period of time in to anything ever.

Coronavirus has literally been a miracle for my bank balance. I even invested in stonks. I felt myself becoming more globalist when I did that. Maybe open borders and money printing isn't so bad after all.

Not going to lie, everything in advertisements and pop culture looks so ghetto and mutty. I'm disgusted.

>be me on Friday
>finish work in evening
>browse internet
>go for a heckin joggerino
>play vidya after midnight
>sleep
>wake up
>read while lying in bed
>play vidya
>go to store in hot weather to buy binge food; feel like I'm in a Blink 182 song
>eat food; eat binge food, including a tub of ben and jerry's
>browse internet some more
>go for an 11 mile walkerino; listen to Cumtown, a politics podcast, another politics podcast, and an alt right podcast
>get back to flat; too tired to jog
>browse internet in bed
>sleep, wake up
>waste time on internet
>eat food, have small amount of junk food
>browse internet, play vidya
>read for over 2 hours and finish reading a non-fiction book
>now browsing internet
>will go for a shorter mournful Sunday evening walk and then will go jogging and then sleep and work tomorrow

The sunny weather reminds me of carefree summers during university when I had minimum wage job but not while feeling failure, but with the feeling of potentially having youthful hijinx, if I had also had friends, non-ugliness, any charisma, or any redeeming social qualities.

>have an 11 mile walk yesterday evening
>couldn't be bothered going jogging afterwards
>slept
>woke up
>read book while drinking coffee
>finish reading an middle upper midwit non fiction book
>play vidya
>eat food; eat bingefood
>spend next 7 hours mindlessly browsing the internet, except for another vidya interlude
>now lying in bed; will go jogging soon; will either read or okay vidya until then
>will read or play vidya after jogging

I'm currently grinding in the game I'm playing and it hits home how kind of pathetic vidya is. It's so damn consumercucky.

I was looking at the weights of tennis players to try and motivate myself to lose weight. I ate all the remaining junk food today so there can be no more to eat tomorrow. I can unironically jog for 5k in 30 minutes. I'm around 230 lbs so it should be drastically easier if I lose weight.

>be me yesterday
>did work
>was a slow day at work; did less than usual
>finish work
>browse internet, then lie in bed and browse internet, then sleep for about an hour at 9 pm
>go jogging
>play vidya until 2 am
>sleep
>wake up
>browse internet for a short time then read a book in bed
>go to buy binge food; was very sunny on the way to the shop; felt like I was in a Blink 182 music video
>play vidya while drinking coffee, eat regular food and have part of the binge
>browse internet for a few more hours
>go for a very long walk
>currently on the walk (will have walked 11 miles by the end of it)
>will go jogging for a short time afterwards, then maybe have chocolate, then play vidya or read a book

That's a typical Saturday.

Work is slowing down in terms of stuff to do. I started off thinking my job was pointless, then I got really in to it, and now I think it's nearly pointless again. In a non BS society it wouldn't exist but it exists in many HyperGloboMegaCorps.

I saw qts and early 20s Staceys and felt sad but that's par for the course. I can't believe I'm so old I even think of "early 20s" women as being that. I'm aged almost 30 and I'm ugly as fuck. It was over before it begun.

I have no producerbull hobbies. I listened to this podcast and this guy said he was a voracious reader and I cringed. It's so consumercucky to think that consuming can improve you or do anything. I bet people like Bill Gates, Elon Musk, top scientists, etc., have read much less than 90 % of snarky midwits.

>went for an over 3 mile joggerino last night but bought junk food and ate some soon afterwards and felt so far at night
>wake up before 8 am
>browse internet on phone in bed
>for once I go back to sleep; get woken up by alarm for an early morning meeting (9.45 am)
>work
>have many meetings; barely did any work because of meetings
>have a break, eat food
>have more meetings
>finish work
>drink coffee, browse internet, leave flat at 7.45 pm for a walk
>currently sitting down in a famous park after walking in the sun, listening to CumTown (episode 101)
>walk doesn't feel sad like Tuesday because it's almost the weekend and tomorrow is a relaxed day

I unironically have nostalgia about the great long video game I was playing a few months ago. I'm playing one of its predecessors right now and it fills the emotional hole at a shallow level.

I'll go jogging when I go back home, although not for over 3 miles today.

I did well at work today but it would best be described as doing impressive gymnastics by the standards of someone at the bottom of a pile of bureaucracy.

Not going to lie, coronavirus has been very kino. My bank account has ballooned because of less expenses.

>finished work on Friday evening
>played vidya, went jogging
>browsed internet in bed, slept at 3 am
>woke up at 11 am
>read a book while drinking coffee for around 2.5 hours
>ate food, had a small amount of junk food, browsed internet until around 4.45
>lie in bed for half an hour, feeling tired
>go for an 11 mile walk while listening to CumTown, a British /pol/tier podcast, and another podcast
>get back to flat, browse internet for 1.5 hours
>go for a 3.5 mile joggerino
>play vidya for 45 minutes
>now lying in bed, browsing internet on phone

That's the paradigmatic coronavirus Saturday, except I had less junk food than usual.

>be me
>be me this week
>wake up, work, finish work
>waste time on internet or vidya, usually exercise, sleep
>yesterday after work I browsed the internet, went jogging earlier than usual, bought binge food, ate some of it, then went to bed before 1 am because I was so tired
>have time to shortlist before work today

Working from home is kino. I have so much free time because of lmao0commuet.

At work I'm kind of going through the motions. Stuff is being done but I can't do more than is forecast because of the budget.

I'm currently reading a very good business book (surprise 1) and it's by an academic (surprise 2). He observes the culture in some corporations. He clearly see that everything is socially defined and he explains how things work. It's like the book I knew always needed to be written but actually written. It's also horrifying.

I had a vivid dream just now. The first part involved me moving to a flat in the 1800s or something, and everything was made of bark. There was bark on the floor and the bed was made of hard wood. It wasn't very comfy.

The second part involved taking the underground train (which was overground) around London on an extremely hot and sunny day. I went to McDonalds. My normal jogging path somehow included a beach and the sea. I went to a community event at a multi-storey large community centre, which had multiple swimming pools. I think British people will know the ambience of the building. It felt like a school building or public building that was built somewhere from 1970 - 1996. I saw many people I knew, and there was some ceremony, and then the day's event ended but the event still had another day for run.

It was like an event emotionally culminated in something but there was still some of it left. I always considered that type of thing to be kino. The second part of the dream reminds me of very hot summers walking around London in recent years.

>wake up on Saturday after nowhere near enough sleep because of a boring one off thing
>do chores
>start reading midwit non fiction book; also halfway through the culture of critique
>play vidya (long RPG released in the 00s)
>eat food
>go and buy binge food
>binge and feel really fat
>waste more time online
>go for a fairly long walk but not as long as I've previously walked
>listen to Cum Town, and Eric Weinstein's podcast, and an interview with a cancelled professor (Hsu)
>walking feels pointless; feel sad about not being a physicist that has started 4 companies
>get back home
>intend to go jogging but I can't be bothered; had two shits since eating anyway
>sleep

Before coronavirus the peak of the weekend was always mid afternoon to around 9.30 pm, when I would have lifted heavy at the gym, then gone walking, had my evening coffee, and then a huge fast food binge that felt guilt free. After corona, my Saturday morning reading and vidya is the peak.

I looked at an old hard drive with some university stuff and I remembered how boring and uninteresting it all was. In university I was a totally friendless loser and I didn't even like my subject at all.

I recently finished an extremely long game released in 2020 (first I've finished for years) and I felt a large sad void afterwards because it was a source of escapism. I'm trying to fill it by playing it's older predecessor but it feels like a pathetic time sink. I could read 20 books in the 60+ hours it would take to finish the game.

I stopped playing vidya many years ago because it felt pointless. There are only a few I'm interested in completing. I can totally see that most triple A games are walking simulators or autist timesinks, with similar mechanics to office jobs such as being overwhelmed with mostly superfluous inputs. Clearly the lack of female managers, HR, and culture means that vidya is more appealing for many males.

Feeling sad at being an ugly, almost 30, loser while young people enjoy life.

>28 years old
>no wife and/or gf
>make only 65k and have only 80k in savings
>median person my age makes at least 90-120k with a masters degree and has at least 100k equity in a house and drives a 2017 or newer model of car and also owns a wife and/or gf

Who here /underachieving failure/

>be me
>be me every weekday
>wake up two hours too early, browse internet on phone in bed instead of sleeping more
>start working
>work
>stop working, do some combination of internet timewasting, jogging, vidya, then sleep
>finish work yesterday evening
>wake up this morning at 9 am
>browse internet on phone in bed
>try to sleep, can't
>instead of my usual comfy Saturday morning reading I play vidya, which is also comfy
>go to store to buy junk food (have a basket filled with junk and think, 'Why yes, I'm fat, how could you tell?')
>eat food, then junk food
>browse internet for too long
>currently on my long Saturday evening walk, which is always a lot better than the sombre Sunday evening walk
>listened to the latest Cum Town, which I thought was good, but then after it ended it auto started in the middle of an old episode and it was so much funnier and high energy

I was feeling really annoyed at not having some side income. Every single woman aged under 60 has an OnlyFans account and makes thousands.

I saw a HackerNews post about rising inceldom among men but not women and I saw 2014 blackpill theory talked about in a totally mainstream way. Along with comments saying stuff like 'The men that do get sex get so much it's unreal." It made me feel like such a loser.

I saw a post by the guy who wrote Based Deleuze on HN, which I vaguely remember being mentioned on /lit/ and I never paid attention but it seemed so lame. His blog had a post by a female academic and only fans whore and it was so lame. The future is gay as hell.

I skim read the first few paragraphs of an article about Irish actors in London in their 20s and they all own or are buying houses. One of them was a woman in her 20s who married a property developer.

I still haven't finished that vidya (first I'll complete in over 7 years). I'm kind of saving it. I don't know if I'll play anything after it. I watched some gaming YouTube videos and, wow, nerds and manchildren are pathetic.

>finished work on Friday evening
>went jogging, played vidya, browsed internet on phone while lying in bed
>woke up late on Saturday
>finished reading a lower midwit non-fiction book
>played vidya (still playing the same game I've played for a month; sad it's near completion)
>bought binge food
>ate food
>browsed internet
>almost went for a long walk but slept for an hour instead
>went jogging, played vidya, browsed internet on phone in bed
>Sunday has been similar except I am currently on a walk, during a mournful Sunday evening


On Friday evening I googled "McKinsey power point presentation" and felt sad that I've never had to make good PowerPoint slides. On Saturday evening I felt sad while playing a minigame in the vidya I'm playing because I realised there are people who could mathematically model this mini game to know how to play it optimally. This morning I read a Hacker News thread about people making money from YouTube and I felt sad that will never be me.

Today I read 10 pages of an extremely boring but pseudy book and 50 pages of an ok but memey non-fiction book. I felt sad about not being truly enthusiastic about this.

I want to work hard at work but by daily lunch hour is good and enjoyable because I can browse 4chan. And it's hard to know if I'll be rewarded for it. In a bureaucratic corporation you can't really 80/20 things.

I'm also realising what an ugly negative charisma person I am. People must find it excruciating to talk to me.

I feel sad for almost being 30 and having totally missed out on any youthful fun. I feel so defrauded by life.

>28 years old
>still a poor loser
>average person my age already owns a house, wife, and large social network that gets them jobs without applying

Who here NOT going to make it

>be me every weekday this week
>wake up too early, before 9 am
>browse internet on phone in bed until I start working, instead of sleeping more
>go through motions in my job
>end up being awake by 6 pm
>play vidya, browse internet
>sleep
>be me today
>wake up too early at 10 am
>browse internet on phone
>read midwit modern novel (starting from page 300 and something)
>read 2 pages before deciding I'm tired of it and I shouldn't finish it for completion's sake
>read 30 page story by pseudy old writer
>play vidya
>eat food, browse internet
>play vidya
>have gone for a walkerino

I'm looking forward to my bank holiday.

I'm feeling sad because my life is so pointless and mundane. It's just work, vidya, internet, sleep, repeat. I've played this current video game for almost 60 hours. It's a sequel to a game I played in 2009. Maybe once I finish this I can use my free time for something valuable.

I've been thinking a lot about how I'll reach a point where I'll be judged solely on social skills and connections and I'll stop being promoted. Now that I've been in a proper office job for just under a year, I can really see how social skills are all that matter.

I wish they'd open the fucking gyms. The politicians are rotting old people who have nothing physically to lose. Jogging is such a boring weaksauce exercise. It's quite incredible how lifting weights is so beneficial yet mainstream culture doesn't shove it down our throats like it does stuff like yoga, fad diets, aerobics classes, and so on. I saw a Reddit post that made fun of people complaining about the gym being closed by saying "Why don't they just work out at home!". I'm not even a "fitness guy".

I'm thinking about how much of an ugly loser I am and how I have zero youthful memories. I have nothing to look forward to. It's all just work. I'll be treated like an ugly shit at work and taxed to death to pay for benefits for old people and lower class plebs and sinecures for Ruperts and Jemimas.

>woke up too early at 8.45 am
>browsed internet on phone in bed instead of sleeping
>lied in bed from 9.45 am to 10.15 am, trying to sleep, then started working
>went through the motions at work
>did work
>immediately played vidya after finishing work
>went jogging
>now eating non-binge food (has been over 24 hours since I binged)

After a 4 day week and a 3 day weekend, I was worried that a 5 day week would feel too long. Luckily my life is effortlessly flying by.

It does seem quite strange how clueless I am about a few things at work. It's weird how I'm working on and with things that, in some reasonable child's idea of the world, would be worked on by people with the suitable training and qualifications. But it seems that everything is so commodified that it has become inevitable that someone like me works on this stuff.

>inb4 "Londonfrog, what do you do at your job?"

I don't really know. I have wandered in to the consummate "knowledge economy" know-nothing non-job job.

I feel sad about being so low energy and demoralised about life. I worry that all genuinely smart people are "fizzing with ideas", if you know what I mean. I have no passions about anything.

>be me today
>woke up at 8.45 am, feeling tired
>browsed internet on phone in bed instead of sleeping more
>started work at 10 am
>went through the motions, in slow motion
>was really low energy
>was browsing internet on phone during an internet meeting
>randomly googled "linkedin princeton new york investment" and felt sad at seeing tonnes of people my own age who probably controlled millions in capital; felt like an ant moving tiny stones (or maybe some other bug with a lower strength to weight ratio; comparing myself to an ant seems too favourable)
>have lunch
>have a call with a few senior employees and was at my post-lunch, carbed up, lowest energy level
>felt like an ugly low energy joyless charismaless slug who brings down the energy of everyone he interacts with
>work more
>stop working
>immediately go to play vidya
>play for a few hours, then go to store to buy binge food
>yesterday was supposed to be the last binge ever but I felt demoralised today
>go for a short jog
>have had the small binge
>now writing this shitpost at near midnight
>plan to post this shitpost and then play vidya for around an hour

Why am I so reserved and charismaless? Mostly because I am. But all this social crap feels like a game people invite me to play (not through explicit invites, more like criticism for being reserved / not sociable) so they can beat me. I refuse to play it.

The sense of progress and escapism I have with this particular vidya is like finding freshwater in a desert.

I'm currently listening to entry level synthwave level stuff.

>be me on Thursday evening
>finish work
>play vidya (can't remember what else I did except a short jog)
>be me on Friday, bank holiday, start of a 3 day weekend
>play vidya in the morning
>and play vidya for 10 hours (it's addictive as fuck)
>go for a jog at night
>be me on Saturday
>wake up
>have my routine Saturday morning reading session, with the sun shining outside as I sit inside
>read 55 pages of a midwit modern novel
>read all of the metamorphosis as well
>play vidya (1 hour), eat, browse internet (4 hours), play vidya, go to shop to buy binge food for one last binge (will eat it today)
>do bodyweight exercises later in day but it's such pathetic weaksauce

I haven't gone for a walk this weekend. I will probably go outside today but Sunday walks are mournful because wagecuckery restarts tomorrow.

Feels sad that the three day weekend has gone.

I've played over 30 hours of the videogame I'm playing in around 10 days. I'm doing nothing productive with my free time at all. I think completing this one is fine but I do feel like a manchild for reading reviews of Uncharted 3 and other games to see if I should play those.

Feels so sad that the gyms have closed. The gap in health and physical potential between a young dyel male and his gymgoing equivalent is worth literally 30 remaining-old age pensioner life spans. That's not a moral statement, just a biological fact.