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/biz/ - Business & Finance

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9770001 No.9770001[DELETED]  [Reply] [Original]

>nothing feels better than this
>every time I get a gain on a 10% trade I reward myself with the vaccum
>the vibrations are better than a woman
>easy to clean just throw the tube in the laundry after finish

Is there a reason why no one here doing this? It unironically feels better than a woman because you can do it as much as you want.

T. Incel who made it from crypto who loves his vaccum cleaner

>> No.9770004

>>9770001
you sad bastard

>> No.9770011

>>9770000

>> No.9770012

>>9770001
you sad bastard with a nasty fupa

>> No.9770018

>>9770001
my dick does not fit, good for you anon

>> No.9770021

Incels need to be gassed

>> No.9770026

>>9770001
>Degenerate

>> No.9770029

can't that unironically rip your dick off?

>> No.9770033

>>9770018
you can connect a wide pipe to the vacuum

>> No.9770059

>>9770001
You can fuck up your penis tubes. I would highly advise not doing this.

>> No.9770113
File: 218 KB, 600x641, 4822a0f2ab18ccomputer_20era013.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9770113

involuntarily celibate. That means that the womens think you are a bad reproduction partner. they have decided to not continue your blood line. thats fucking sad this day and age.

>> No.9770193

>>9770001
try a pool cleaner vacuum while underwater, especially with a heated pool, it will give you the best orgasm of your entire life. the fans rapidly but gently smack the head of your dick while giving really strong suction. obviously stick your fingers in first to make sure it's safe, not every pool vacuum is the same. I've had blowjobs from 3 different women and 4 different men, I've used vacuums, cock-pumps, fleshlights, vibrators... and NOTHING compares to the pool cleaner. I'm not even fucking kidding right now, if you get the chance, try it. the only thing that is even remotely close to how good that pool vacuum felt was straight up vaginal sex with this fat chick who had a really warm snatch, it was like sticking my dick into a wet loaf of banana bread straight out of the oven, and yes this fucking pool cleaner vacuum was better than that. I don't own a pool or else I'd be doing it every day. unfortunately the owner of the pool caught me doing it so I'm not allowed to be within 1000 feet of his house anymore but it was so fucking worth it, I'm telling you that fucking pool vacuum is like heaven. honestly the only reason I even want to get rich is so I can afford my own house with a heated pool and of course a pool vacuum. I can't wait to buy a dozen different brands and styles of pool cleaners and fuck them all. I live for that day to come.

>> No.9770267

>>9770001

>You'll never reward your cock with the pure pleasure of the vacum.

Why go on lads.

>> No.9770296

>>9770193
saved.

>> No.9770297

>>9770193
you need to be executed.

>> No.9770298
File: 65 KB, 960x540, henry_hoover_review_13.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9770298

>rips your dick off
>loves every minute of it.

>> No.9770306

>>9770193
Is this a new copy pasta?

>> No.9770316

>>9770001

I need to know the brand of vaccume. I need this sublime pleasure in my life now.

>> No.9770320

>>9770306
it is now

>> No.9770327

>>9770193
what in the fuck is going on in this thread

>> No.9770335

Best friend made a cock pump with a empty clear caulk tube connected to a squeeze bulb for siphoning gas. Tube wasn't rigid enough, and collapsed under the suction, crushing his dick. Told me how panicked, and instead of pulling the hose from the tip of the tube and letting air back in, he pulled the tube violently from his pecker. I'd never seen him cry until he told me that story. I can't wait to bring it up to him in conversation in front of his new ultra-Christian wife.

>> No.9770356
File: 93 KB, 960x960, 1526709237755.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9770356

>>9770001

>> No.9770359

>>9770193
Kek

>> No.9770461

>>9770335
you should always test any device like that with your fingers or something. you can't fuck around with this type of stuff, you gotta be safe, because you only get one dick. for instance, I didn't just dive into the nearest pool and start fucking the pool cleaner of a complete stranger. these people were one of my wife's best massage therapy clients, and they had a really nice house with a huge pool and hot tub. we were invited over for a bbq one day, and that's when I first noticed the pool cleaner vacuum. I've had my fair share of vacuums in the past, but never a pool cleaner. it was right then I realized that I would do anything to fuck that pool cleaner vacuum. every time I came over I made an effort to take a dip in their pool, which would increase my chances of being left alone for just long enough to have my way with the pool cleaner vacuum. the problem is, the pool cleaner vacuum wasn't always in the pool, which made things even more complicated. to make a long story short, eventually I did find my opportunity. me, my wife, and the couple were hanging out in the hot tub and eventually all 3 of them decided they wanted to go inside and get ready for dinner. of course I told them I wanted to stay a little longer, and maybe take a dip in the pool: which of course had the pool cleaner vacuum going. as soon as everyone was inside, I jumped into the pool, which was only slightly colder than the hot tub thanks to the pool heater. I immediately swam over and stuck a finger inside to see if it was safe. sure enough, I felt the gentle fan blades tickling my finger with such an amazing suction feeling. without hesitation, I pulled my swim trunks down and stuck my penis inside. it was heavenly bliss. within no more than 30 seconds I had one of the most powerful orgasms of my entire life, I was literally stunned from the feeling. the best part is I didn't even get caught until my third encounter with the pool cleaner vacuum... those were the good days.

>> No.9770489

>>9770461
I'd also like to point out that I'm divorced right now but it wasn't because of the pool cleaner thing

>> No.9770492

>>9770193
>obviously stick your fingers in first to make sure it's safe

oh ok

>> No.9770495

>>9770492
better to lose a finger than to lose your dick.

>> No.9770512

>>9770489
I can't believe this isn't copypasta

>> No.9770514

>>9770193
>>9770461
>>9770489
>>9770495
finally a sensible person on /biz/

>> No.9770518

>>9770461
You are pansexual.

>> No.9770522
File: 61 KB, 200x198, 354.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9770522

>>9770001
>No other sizes of this image found.

>> No.9770530

>>9770512
Every copypasta starts out as OC. Remember this day, brother.

>> No.9770531

>>9770193

Put me in the screencap

>> No.9770549

>>9770531
gb2reddit

>> No.9770560
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9770560

>>9770489
Before I was quizzical, but this makes it.
You really fucked that pool vacuum.

Legend

>> No.9770562

>>9770461

Please post a picture of what this pool vacuum looks like... I thought you meant the Water suction pipe, which has been known to deglove entire intestinal tracts

>> No.9770566

>>9770489
What does your portfolio look like anon? I want to see what will put me into the fastlane for prime pool pussy.

>> No.9770573

>>9770530
truly a beautiful moment in /biz/ history

>> No.9770580
File: 37 KB, 600x400, 1514731714893.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9770580

>>9770193
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

INSTANT COPY PASTA. SAVED.

>> No.9770613

>>9770489

No kidding eh. Can you tell us more about your divorce? I'm fascinated by your determination.

>> No.9770621
File: 96 KB, 640x480, 1500188793083.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9770621

>>9770562
it's like one of these robotic pool cleaners that drives around the surface and cleans the pool. sadly I don't know the exact brand that the guy had. I tried to call him on the phone a couple weeks after the incident and he was really frustrated with me and said "what the fuck do you want". I told him I called to apologize, etc. and then I tried to ask him what the brand and model of his pool cleaner was and he just hung up on me. I tried emailing him but I never got a reply.

>>9770566
mostly just holding BTC right now, I used to have LTC/DOGE/BCH/ETH/XMR and a few obscure ones like VOX but turned most of them into BTC.

>> No.9770623

>come to /biz/ hoping for a good laugh at some idiots trading crypto (losing their ass)
>see this

I really am not worthy

>> No.9770658

>>9770461

you should always test any device like that with your fingers or something. you can't fuck around with this type of stuff, you gotta be safe, because you only get one dick. for instance, I didn't just dive into the nearest pool and start fucking the pool cleaner of a complete stranger. these people were one of my wife's best massage therapy clients, and they had a really nice house with a huge pool and hot tub. we were invited over for a bbq one day, and that's when I first noticed the pool cleaner vacuum. I've had my fair share of vacuums in the past, but never a pool cleaner. it was right then I realized that I would do anything to fuck that pool cleaner vacuum. every time I came over I made an effort to take a dip in their pool, which would increase my chances of being left alone for just long enough to have my way with the pool cleaner vacuum. the problem is, the pool cleaner vacuum wasn't always in the pool, which made things even more complicated. to make a long story short, eventually I did find my opportunity. me, my wife, and the couple were hanging out in the hot tub and eventually all 3 of them decided they wanted to go inside and get ready for dinner. of course I told them I wanted to stay a little longer, and maybe take a dip in the pool: which of course had the pool cleaner vacuum going. as soon as everyone was inside, I jumped into the pool, which was only slightly colder than the hot tub thanks to the pool heater. I immediately swam over and stuck a finger inside to see if it was safe. sure enough, I felt the gentle fan blades tickling my finger with such an amazing suction feeling. without hesitation, I pulled my swim trunks down and stuck my penis inside. it was heavenly bliss. within no more than 30 seconds I had one of the most powerful orgasms of my entire life, I was literally stunned from the feeling. the best part is I didn't even get caught until my third encounter with the pool cleaner vacuum... those were the good days.

>> No.9770722

>>9770658

congrats you killed the thread retard

>> No.9770752

>>9770658

way to go Brad

>> No.9770771
File: 567 KB, 300x456, 1527810203287-pol.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9770771

>>9770193
Wew, gonna save this one

>> No.9770794
File: 34 KB, 662x712, m.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9770794

>MFW OP is the kind of person that "made it" using the money I invested in crypto

>> No.9770813
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9770813

>>9770193
Here is your (You) for making me laugh like a retard.