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/biz/ - Business & Finance

File: 31 KB, 600x450, suicide54-15-1465983645-1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

How is /biz going to kill themselves when they don't make it? Anonymous Sat May 26 22:38:22 2018 No.9629371 [Reply] [Original]

My GF is a nurse and told me a story tonight about a guy who jumped from the 8th floor of a ocean front resort after getting drunk and writing a suicide note, but instead of killing himself instantly, impaled himself on an umbrella, and didn't die until half a day later.

Don't be like that guy. Horrible way to go.

Honestly, don't kill yourself at all. I need someone to serve me my Starbucks and McDonald's.

Have a good night, biz.

>>	Anonymous Sat May 26 22:40:11 2018 No.9629388 I'm planning to take the liberal way out. You can get suicide pills online.

>>	Anonymous Sat May 26 22:42:32 2018 No.9629405 >>9629371 8 floors isn't really that fucking high. What an idiot. Everybody knows you gotta jump from 10+

Anonymous Sat May 26 22:47:23 2018 No.9629444

>>9629371
>Died a half a day later
Jesus christ what the fuck. That's terrible and how is it that no medical team was able to save him in that time?

Also, can you imagine for a moment simply walking down the street when all of a sudden a fucking overgrown neckbeard crashes into and impales himself on your umbrella?

>>	Anonymous Sat May 26 22:47:29 2018 No.9629446 >>9629371 Gonna give crypto till 2022 before I do it. Got plenty of time to think ;).

>>	Anonymous Sat May 26 22:54:44 2018 No.9629508 >>9629444 It blows my mind too. She recently took a position in the ICU and the stories she tells me are insane. There's always someone dying from a motorcycle accident too, so I don't plan to get one of those anymore.

>>	Anonymous Sat May 26 22:56:55 2018 No.9629532 >>9629444 Also, there are a lot of injuries that occur where they know the person will die, and they have to ethically try to prolong life, etc.

>>	Anonymous Sat May 26 23:00:02 2018 No.9629560 >>9629444 Also, it was a resort and at night... Not a personal umbrella, one of those poolside umbrellas. I don't think anyone was out walking around, but who knows.

>>	Anonymous Sat May 26 23:01:05 2018 No.9629568 File: 181 KB, 736x1308, 34c38dacd8ba8c4fd1e3eb41cde234e8--palm-springs-style-palm-springs-pool.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9629560

>>	Anonymous Sat May 26 23:03:29 2018 No.9629596 >>9629508 motorcycles are a death wish

>>	Anonymous Sat May 26 23:05:24 2018 No.9629611 Btw that's a really sick job. How do you not go completely insane being exposed to the worst things in life, constantly? Everyone you look at, you're going to see them as just another idiot who can die tragically at any moment.

Anonymous Sat May 26 23:05:36 2018 No.9629612

>>9629596
The most interesting story she told me about motorcycles was also a terminal one. Guys intestines were pretty much removed in the crash. somehow he survived a day or two. I've known a few people who got injured on motorcycles. Not once was it their fault.

I'd never ever fucking get on two wheels with every single person around me staring at their fucking phones.

>>	Anonymous Sat May 26 23:05:51 2018 No.9629614 >>9629371 >Honestly, don't kill yourself at all. I need someone to serve me my Starbucks and McDonald's. Don't worry OP. I will be taking you down with me.

Anonymous Sat May 26 23:08:17 2018 No.9629635

>>9629611
I know. She was really pissy tonight and I got mad at her but then realized what she deals with on the daily. I'm an engineer and would NEVER want her job. Shes also the first woman I've dated that I genuinely respected. Most women I've dated are lazy or just want to be housewives.

Anonymous Sat May 26 23:09:05 2018 No.9629647

>>9629611
You get desensitized really quickly. I’m a med student and did a lot of volunteering in places like assisted living facilities, physical rehabs and hospitals during undergrad. You get used to it after just a few weeks. Obviously some people can’t deal with it but you’d be surprised at what you can handle mentally. Eventually you just get used to seeing really crazy shit every day. Now I don’t even really notice it unless it’s something REALLY insane.

>>	Anonymous Sat May 26 23:09:43 2018 No.9629655 File: 7 KB, 211x239, images (1).jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9629614 Ayyy homie lets do this thing.

>>	Anonymous Sat May 26 23:11:22 2018 No.9629676 >>9629647 I think that whole intestines thing would really bother me. I saw the movie "the cell" when I was 11 and that scene with the intestines on the torture machine scarred me. I've just been weird about intestines ever since then

>>	Anonymous Sat May 26 23:12:36 2018 No.9629683 >>9629388 >I'm planning to take the liberal way out. Mass shooting of a school, then calling for more gun control to stop liberals from mass shooting up schools?

Anonymous Sat May 26 23:21:42 2018 No.9629757

>>9629405
Mate, do you know how many people die because they fall over and hit their heads on concrete from a standing height? It's become a massive problem in our country, as so many young people get knocked out in fights, hit their head on concrete and die. It's become known as "coward punches", where people get knocked out, hit their head and die. There's even mandatory sentencing now in the courts for that kind of violence.

Just about any height above 1.5 metres is enough to kill you if you land on your head. 8 stories is around 24 metres at the absolute minimum, and more likely to be around 35. Have you ever absailed off 30 metres? It's so fucking high man, any plunge from that height is 90% guarantee'd death, and 110% guarantee'd if you land on your head.

>>	Anonymous Sat May 26 23:22:41 2018 No.9629767 I'd rape a money skeleton and then suicide by cop

>>	Anonymous Sat May 26 23:24:29 2018 No.9629774 >>9629371 keep eating mcdonalds and drinking starbucks and you wont need to commit suicide you'll just die of diabetes and stomach cancer

>>	Anonymous Sat May 26 23:25:50 2018 No.9629783 >>9629371 also, valium/xanax overdose for sure

>>	Anonymous Sat May 26 23:40:35 2018 No.9629892 >>9629783 Are you a retard? It's almost impossible to OD from benzos alone.

Anonymous Sat May 26 23:46:53 2018 No.9629942
File: 292 KB, 1080x1920, Screenshot_20180526-234303.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>9629783
Lol the 19 year old Boomer that tries to OD on benzos. Bahahahahaha. Takes 150-1000 BARS of Xanax per KG to OD.

If you're 85 kg (187 lbs) you'd have to ingest 12750-85000 BARS Of Xanax to overdose, and I promise your measly crypto gains won't even buy you enough benzos to OD.

Haha stupid faggot doesn't even know you can't really OD on benzos.

>>	Anonymous Sat May 26 23:57:44 2018 No.9630038 >>9629942 whatever I'll throw in some heroin and a bottle of whiskey

>>	Anonymous Sat May 26 23:59:10 2018 No.9630048 even if i hit the bottom of rock bottom the state will pay for all my expenses why would i ever kill myself lmao

Anonymous Sat May 26 23:59:18 2018 No.9630051

>>9630038
That'll do it. Benzos with booze and opiates are a cocktail that'll shut down the CNS.

Also, because I have a conscience and have lost friends to suicide: do not kill yourself. You will die anyways, and there's a good chance there's nothing after this life so make the most of it.

>>	Anonymous Sun May 27 00:00:50 2018 No.9630065 >>9629371 Suicide by snusnu I'm not dying a virgin

>>	Anonymous Sun May 27 00:02:29 2018 No.9630085 Imagine me raping your gf

>>	Anonymous Sun May 27 00:05:03 2018 No.9630110 >>9630085 Lol imagine me doing some hostel shit to you. Cutting off little pieces and using a tourniquet so you stay alive until you're nothing but a torso, then I fuck your ass with a sharp object and finally let you bleed out.

>>	Anonymous Sun May 27 00:06:30 2018 No.9630120 Making it is our only option.

>>	Anonymous Sun May 27 01:54:51 2018 No.9630868 >>9629757 Its king hit you poof t. Bouncer

>>	Anonymous Sun May 27 01:57:11 2018 No.9630878 File: 507 KB, 575x420, 1527176530362.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9630110 edgelord alert

>>	Anonymous Sun May 27 01:58:23 2018 No.9630883 >>9630110 I doubt your girlfriend cares about you even 1% enough to warrant that response.

>>	Anonymous Sun May 27 02:03:28 2018 No.9630918 >>9629371 /9rk freak

>>	Anonymous Sun May 27 02:05:06 2018 No.9630926 nitrogen tank and a regulator >painless >fast >euphoria

Anonymous Sun May 27 02:09:38 2018 No.9630951
File: 95 KB, 501x586, 8B66BBDD-CE6F-4437-953A-E50A5C149337.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>9629371
I’m going to place a basketball hoop underneath the balcony of my 29th sorry condo. I will then take 100 feet of razor wire, wrap it around my neck and super glue my hands to the side of my head. Once complete, I will jump off my balcony and attempt to slam dunk my severed head into the basketball hoop.

Dubs and I make it

>>	Anonymous Sun May 27 02:10:29 2018 No.9630959 >>9630110 The fuck is this. Show it to your girlfriend or is she as deranged as you?

>>	Anonymous Sun May 27 02:15:37 2018 No.9630992 >>9630959 Fuck is this? Dude was talking about raping my Gf

>>	Anonymous Sun May 27 02:18:11 2018 No.9631012 File: 26 KB, 600x750, tipsfedora.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9630051

>>	Anonymous Sun May 27 02:27:49 2018 No.9631073 >>9630051 >nothing after this life Nice afterlife FUD, classic /biz/ trying to accumulate. Remember anon, always do the opposite of what /biz/ says.

Anonymous Sun May 27 02:33:35 2018 No.9631097

I run my own pharmacy and have access to all sorts of medication. I'd take a high dose of prochlorperazine for a few days to negate urge to vomit, get very drunk on vodka or rum, and then slap on a few fentanyl 100 mcg patches to my body.

I don't feel unethical posting this since 99% of you don't have the means to pull off this method.

>>	Anonymous Sun May 27 02:45:34 2018 No.9631173 >>9630110 grabs you by the throat BACK THE FUCK OFF!?!

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