Encounters with CEOs

[Anonymous No.95838]

So I work for a large company, and my department is moving from a smaller building to the main HQ. We had a meeting this week about how to present ourselves in the case that we bump into any head honchos in the elevator/stairs/etc.

So, has anyone here ever bumped into a bigwig at the office? How did it go?

[Anonymous No.95911]

Some teacher did that elevator exercise in a class back in college. He was pretending to be the CEO and he asked a black dude to the front so he could do what he thought was correct, The teacher pretended to use the elevator pressing the buttons and shit, the black dude didn´t do anything, when the elevator ride ended the black guy walked away but half way to his seat he turned around and threw the teacher wallet back to him.

[Anonymous No.95908]

This board's kinda fast. Bump.

[Anonymous No.95946]

Unrelated but I met Kevin O'Leary (from Shark Tank) at an Office Depot in Boston. We chatted for a bit about finance (my major) and precious metals markets. He bought his products using a coupon and offered to pay for my stuff after our conversation. It was really cool, he's a really cool guy.

[Anonymous No.95963]

>>95838
I work at a small office as a shit-tier intern, but the company owner/founder comes in and talks to me once in a while, or I'll run into him. Just treat them like any other person. For reference he used to be a senior vp at Bank of America and it's a private equity firm so he's a "bigwig" I guess.

[Anonymous No.96099]

>>95838
I'm one step under C-level and talk to the CEO almost daily

one of our strategic partners I've met with the CEO a few times to talk strategy

I'm friends with a few General Counsels and SVPs, too

VOLUNTEER FOR CHARITIES NIGGERS, THIS IS HOW IT FUCKING HAPPENS

[Anonymous No.96108]

>>95838
>pass by the CEO of the company
>stab him in the chest
>keep walking
>escape
>get paid $50M
It was a pretty good day.

[Anonymous No.96611]

>>95838
>18 yo in high school eating lunch with my mom
>guy greets mom and sits down and has lunch with us
>whothefuckisthisguy
>Answer the guys questions about how I'm doing in school (great).
>mom goes to toilet
>He asks what I want to do after HS
>Say atleast not what mom does, she says it's boring and workplace is full of crybabies
>guy laughs, mom comes back and we all go our separate ways

>fast forward 5 years and meet same guy when waitng for internship interview
>ah you're her kid, I remember you, I heard you'd be applying here. Good luck.

>mfw I realize the guy was one of the top partners at KPMG

[Anonymous No.96712]

We sometimes have partners or owners and state managers coming in for store inspections and such, but usually I don't see them. When I do they are just like anyone else, if they treat me with respect I will,give them the same, but if they are arrogant pricks I generally just ignore them to make them feel less important. A lot of the time they're just regular guys (no females lel) and have been fine for a quick chat.

[Anonymous No.96726]

Head of my desk found me dozing off in my cube at 11pm the last week of my internship. Shook me awake, gave me a return offer for full-time, and told me to go home.

I thought I was going to get fired.

[Anonymous No.96755]

>>95963
Name of company so I can apply to be an intern too? I need the experience.

[Anonymous No.96758]

>>96099
W-what do you mean? What charities should I apply for?

[Anonymous No.96756]

>>95838
Stop idolizing people just because they have a higher position, more money or are famous! The fucking CEO bleeds like everyone else, so he probably doesn't deserve more respect than anyone else.

[Anonymous No.96797]

>>95911
my fucking sides

[Anonymous No.97156]

>>95911

I went to a conference one time (no idea why the company took me but free trip so whatever). i got on the elevator with the CEO of the company hosting the conference. I didn't say shit. what are you supposed to do/say?

[Anonymous No.97185]

I have a shitty retail job because lel Uni student.

Regional manager comes in, talks to my manager and stares at me. He never says hi. I just think he's a fucking mute to me.

[Anonymous No.97188]

I shook hands with this man, he gave a speech at my university.

[Anonymous No.97266]

>>95911
I have absolutely no idea what the fuck you're talking about.

>He was pretending to be the CEO and he asked a black dude to the front so he could do what he thought was correct, The teacher pretended to use the elevator pressing the buttons and shit, the black dude didn´t do anything

[Anonymous No.97269]

>>96611
You know he fucks the living SHIT out of your mom right?

[Anonymous No.97309]

I work with our CEO every day. He hates hierarchies. We hate hierarchies. We're all friends.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flat_organization
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holacracy

>tfw he was the CEO of another company, and left to form a start up with all his connections
>tfw he funds the startup out of his pocket

[Anonymous No.97324]

>>95838

>father is just a manager at his company, but is quite the socialite and maintains good relations with the ceo, and pretty much everyone else

>tfw they sponsor the shit out of nascar races (beer distributor) and offer me tickets to the pit (inner track)
>i go, figuring i'd get drunk with rednecks
>the pit is a completely different world
>pretty much filled with wealthy individuals watching their money cars go in circles hoping the car they placed their bets on doesnt lose
>spot the ceo
>say hello
>"oh, you're anon's son right? He speaks highly of you"
>offers me a drink
>turns in to 20
>get wasted with a with one of the wealthiest men in my state

good times

[Anonymous No.97326]

>>95838
My uncle is CFO of Universal music group. Not really a CEO, but he always has interesting stories to tell. Best uncle ever

[Anonymous No.97411]

I met Paul Bulcke (CEO of Nestlé) whilst doing an internship at the advertising agency my mom used to work for.

[Praise the Sun !hGLnZ6jrGM No.97420]

>>95838
I used to bump into big generals every day. General Alexander even a few times. I hung out with his daughter too. They were cool most of the time. Some were assholes. we had a rule to follow. The less hair a general has the more of an asshole he is. Not sure if it works that way in corporate world as well.

[Anonymous No.97461]

>>95838
>So, has anyone here ever bumped into a bigwig at the office?
Yeah happened a few times at two different multinational huge corporations.
>How did it go?
The first time I was having a summer internship when I was 18. I brought my own food like is customary here. About half of the people eat out and the rest eat in the lunch rooms. Since it was summer and pretty much 80% of the work force have vacation here there were few people in the lunch room. A nice older gentleman sat down on my opposite side and we had a nice long conversation about everything. I asked what he did and well it turned out he was the boss for the entire European and middle east division.

It turns out he started with manual labor back in the 70s and then advanced within the organization. Was kind of blown back that he brought his own home cooked food and spent time eating with a summer temp.

The other times I happened upon them when in groups so not much to say. Just greet and get over with it since they often are busy with something else.

[Anonymous No.97481]

>>97326

How is Boyd going these days?

[Anonymous No.97494]

jesus fucking christ all this board does to me is NOT wanting to be successfull

between networking, disgusting suits and having to take courses on how to "present oneself" I think I'll be just fine in some small industrial company were colleagues are actually real human beings

[Anonymous No.99069]

>>97494
>making friends, dressing well and being polite means you're not a real human being

I shig my dig to you good sir

[Anonymous No.99080]

>>99069
but they're not real friends

sure, I don't like dressing up, that's a personal preference of mine, but isn't it stupid when students who actually are kind of poor dress up in suits just to hold a presentation at school? it's like that basketball scene in The Wire when prop joe insists on wearing a suit when he's coaching the east baltimore team in scorching heat

there is polite and there is kissing ass and degrading oneself in hope of favors

[Anonymous No.99091]

>>99080
How in the fuck is wearing a suit degrading? Not to mention, even poor people can afford a suit. I'm not wealthy at all and I just got quite a nice suit the other day.

[Anonymous No.99112]

I have literally called the CEO a retard to his face at my company. I constantly destroy his stupid ideas and generally try to embarrass him as much as possible.

I haven't been fired because they literally can't replace my engineering knowledge on our product and we both know it.

I still hate this shit hole though.

[Anonymous No.99131]

>>99112
>that happened

[Anonymous No.99137]

>>99112
so edgy

[Anonymous No.99165]

>>99091
I got a super nice suit at Burlington's a while ago, custom-fitted and every thing. Everyone says it looks great, and it cost me less than a hundred dollars

Suit companies know that suits are a necessity, so they don't make them too expensive.

[Anonymous No.99172]

>>99080
Niqqa suits are awesome and classy and even id you're not rich, they'll make you feel as though you are. Other than that, a well tailered suits on a man is like a lingerie on a woman. Fucking sexy.

Also what's wrong with making real friends who also just happen to be able to help you to level up the food chain?

[Anonymous No.99190]

>>99172
That anon is an autist who thinks he can be a roaring success running a company with zero ass kissing while he hides in a factory all day wearing sweat pants.

/biz/ is where the true autism and work ethic of 4chan shines

[Anonymous No.99204]

>>99112
>CEO walks by
>whisper "retard" and quickly look away
>CEO stops, laughs, and says "get back to mopping, kid"
>goes home
>posts on 4chan

[Anonymous No.99241]

>>99204
>CEO discusses /biz/ness with real people
>anon walks in with the coffee cart
>said anon listens as he hands out coffee
>"s-sir, I don't t-think that'll w-w-work
>awkward silence
>anon's boss: "excuse us please"
>anon proceeds to get a verbal rape session and his summer internship is over
>brags on 4chan

[Anonymous No.99259]

>>99172
says alot that you consider your future life as a food chain

you cannot lose if you do not play and if you play and win you still only end up as a king of sand

but as I'm saying, that's just me and I find nothing but shallowness and a preditory attitude to other people in this kind of circus

[Anonymous No.99308]

>>99259
>if you don't play you won't succeed and you will fail

Remember that. Your connections, determination, and cunning are all that let you survive in the world. If you choose not to play, you choose to accept the greatest odds of failure and the lowest odds of success.

You can be an edgy idealist, but you'll regret that as your associates buy land, raise families, fulfill their needs, and retire in comfort.

[Anonymous No.99340]

>Be going to see Bruce Springsteen concert cause my dad still loves his music and I want to spend more time with him
>He takes me to see a judge he used to be a clerk for
>It's a federal judge
>They talk about when my dad was just a clerk for him
>The judge mentions that one of my dads old friends has been nominated to be a federal judge
It was exciting to learn all that, but it was awkward to be there as two old guys talk about stuff from before I was born

[Anonymous No.99371]

>>99259
But the job market IS a food chain. If you're at the bottom, you'll only get eaten. If you're at the top, you'll only eat.
The bottom part is weak and generally not very productive. The top is strong, are masters of their own destiny and and admired by humans (why do you think all coat of arms have a flesh eating animal?).
And especially today, getting to the top is a matter of life and death.

If you don't play, you'll always lose. If you play and lose, at least you tried. If you play and win, it's the result of your own efforts and hard work.
"If you never shoot, you'll always miss".
Getting to the top and winning won't make you king of the sand. Rather, it will make you king of everything. Just think of the posibilities; you will be able to get anything you want, live anywhere, meet awesome people and the best thing yet, it's all you.

[Anonymous No.99416]

Had lunch with Ross Perot when I was 15. My father was friends with the guy.

[Anonymous No.99427]

>Work at some investment bank
>Go to annual dinner
>See the CEO
>Shake his hand
>"Ni-Nice t-to meet y-you Mr. XXX"
>Sweating profusely with heart rate set at max
>Trying to hold up a conversation for 1 minute without looking retarded
>About to collpase

[Anonymous No.99436]

>>95911
Can anyone rephrase this into something humans can understand?

[Anonymous No.99484]

>>99436
>stupid fucking "exercise" to make sure no one acts like a retard around the CEO
>a very realistic scenario is chosen, meeting the CEO in an elevator
>teacher think that Tyrone will need the most upbringing, so he makes Tyrone have a go first
>awkward play ensures, in which the teacher makes retarded elevator noises and Tyrone is rubbing his groin behind the teacher's butt
>feeling intimidated, the teacher says that Tyrone successfully completed the "exercise"
>as Tyrone walks back to his desk, he pulls out the dollar bills and throws the empty wallet of the teacher back at his face
>Tyrone proceeds to beat his chest and squat on his desk jumping up and down, screaming incomprehensible words
>class dismissed

[Anonymous No.99515]

>>99427
>work at a big-law firm
>write a brilliant motion to dismiss for a case I was assigned
>senior partner asks to see me in his office
>get there and his secretary tells me to sit outside his door and wait
>partner is going through a messy divorce and absolutely screaming at his wife over the phone
>"you filthy greedy whore. How dare you try to take my money and kids after I caught you sucking and fucking nigger cock in my bed. Not a penny, jezebelle"
>hear a phone getting slammed against a desk then his secretary tells me he's ready to see me
>partner doesn't even look up from the mirror he is dumping coke on to say hello
>ask me if I want a bump
>politely accept
>tells me that he recognizes my potential and that my motion earned me a raise

The combo of nerves, coke, and excitement literally gave me chest pains

[Anonymous No.99523]

>>99204

> gets called into meeting
> CEO proposes stupid fucking idea
> literally say "You're retarded", this idea won't work for ll these reasons
> Continue asking in meeting "are you joking with us? Is that literally the best line of reasoning you could come up with? The strategy is so full of holes it may as well be called the Titanic"
> CEO shuts the fuck up in embarrassment
> get mad props from everyone else in company too afraid to say shit to CEO when he's pitching complete shit strategies and ideas
> hate all those coward fucks just as much

I really don't give a shit about this job, but when you carve out a niche they can't replace without costing the company millions, you earn some real power.

CEO is my boss at this point. Oh yea, and I'm posting from work you NEET faggots.

[Anonymous No.99551]

>>99523
> and then I woke up

[Anonymous No.99553]

>>99515
Shot niqqa, you think he would have changed his mind of you declined the coke?

[Anonymous No.99564]

>>99551

And that's why people like you will never amount to shit. Little yes men coward faggots.

[Anonymous No.99583]

>>99190
>That anon is an autist who thinks he can be a roaring success running a company with zero ass kissing

never have I expressed a belief that there is a way to "get around" the bullshit I'm talking about

all I've said is that I just don't think it's worth it. the gain is not worth the sacrifices and I think many people who persue this are kidding themselves if they think this is really what they want

>>99308
you say that like it's all or nothing. it might be because we're from different countries, but there are A LOT of fine careers available for people who don't necessarily play that game

besides, statistics show that salary seldom gets you rich, capital does which kind of makes the whole process moot for the people who aim to be the next zuckerberg or whatever

[Anonymous No.99579]

>>99523
>CEO asks anon to hurry the fuck up with his project which is overdue for two weeks
>OP has to present his plans
>stutters and mutters and gives a fail presentation
>CEO proceeds to tell anon he's a retard and he can pack his shit
>anon:"o-ok..."
>anon gets boo'ed out of the office because he's a fucking autist with no friends and he never makes coffee while he sips everything like it's water
>spews bullshit on 4chen

[Anonymous No.99609]

>>99553
Probably. He's a high strung guy. I'm set for success as a lawyer, but I wasn't taking a chance.

His divorce is hilarious though. His kids had been telling him that mom liked to play bridge during the day. Well, one day he got home early and walked in on his wife "playing bridge". Turns out, his wife was getting gang banged by two black dudes and his rugrats didn't know that what mommy did was called a "spit roast"

[Anonymous No.99640]

>>99609
You think that a partner would know better than to marry some whore who wants to get gangbanged by blacks. How did he not see it coming?

[Anonymous No.99651]

>>99640
I'll take his coke but I'm not going to ask him when he first suspected that his wife craved black dick.

[Anonymous No.99667]

>>99651
NYC? Because I know a guy in NYC who's also in a divorce now because he caught his wife fucking a pair of brothas.

[Anonymous No.99711]

>>97324

See THIS is why rich people are awesome.

They routinely spend lots of money on strangers,

[Anonymous No.99845]

>>99711
I've always found it the opposite. The richer a person is the tighter they are with their cash.

[Anonymous No.100157]

>>99845
I know a fair few rich people, like billions rich, and you're right, they often are very tight with people they don't know that well. They tend to be very paranoid about leeches and people just trying to be friends with them for their money. Totally justifiable too. If you've actually been friends with them for a long time, and never acted like you expect money from them, or asked for it, they can be very generous.

[Anonymous No.100261]

So green text story

>Work at Maersk Drilling Norway, sitting in the reception minding my own buisness
>It's friday and I'm not doing anything particular other than browsing trough facebook and other websites.
>In comes this hairy looking 50 year old dude with a winter jacket. Looked kinda like a hobo.
>''Hello name is xxx, could I meet yyy?''
>''Sure, I'll just call him''
>I proceed to call the dude and he says he'll be down in 5 minutes
>Log the hobo-looking dude into the system.
>He's american and he starts to tell stories about him traveling in Norway and being drunk.
>He's talking about how he used his secretary to do pick him up shitfaced for a meeting.
>The dude he's gonna meet comes down.
>He joins into the conversation and we talk for like 10-15 minutes about drunken stories and crazy chicks.
>They enter the dude's office and 30 mins after the hobo looking guy leaves in a huge Mercedes offroader, looking like he's going on a hike.
>Find out he owns a billion dollar company in Houston that take old offshore oil equipment, fix it and sell it to poorer countries.

He kinda looked like the pic, altough a bit younger. Totally a bro.

[Anonymous No.100515]

>>97326
record deal please

[Anonymous No.100519]

THEY ARE ALL KIKES
GAS THEM

[Anonymous No.100855]

>>97309
You're trying to get us to ask how you got hired at Valve. Nice try.

[Anonymous No.101171]

>>99579
>anon gets boo'ed out of the office because he's a fucking autist with no friends and he never makes coffee while he sips everything like it's water
I hate that kind of group mentality.

[Anonymous No.103008]

>>99371

You don't know much about coat of arms do you? You are excused, I am sure they don't teach you a lot about that in american schools.

[Anonymous No.103028]

>>99515
shit you got to go through a secretary to get inside a senior office? Is it a US law firm?

[Anonymous No.106738]

>>99999