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/biz/ - Business & Finance

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8615882 No.8615882 [Reply] [Original]

This is how you neets get a job.

1. Get a haircut

2. Take a shower

3. Go on Google and look up companies in your area. Find out who the big wigs are

4. Put on your nicest shirt and pants. Wear a tie depending on the company

5. Walk into the business and ask to speak to X

6. Give him/her eye contact and a firm handshake

7. Ask for a job

It isn't that hard, /biz/...

>> No.8615900

8. Whip out dick and put on table.

>> No.8615934

LOL bro you crack me up. Real life Chad here, CEO of my own lawn mowing company I created as an 8th grader, now doing 750K a year in revenue and growing, as well as now the premier lawn mowing agency for the Utah Jazz and south central Nevada. We dominate the rural Utah and Nevadan areas and will continue to dominate. So anyways to get a job simply create a company and you will then also be the boss and earn more money if you can become successful like me.

-Chad Dude

>> No.8615937

9. Start sweeping, manager will notice and give you a job on the spot

>> No.8615951

>>8615882
really good advice anon, i would also say it doesn't hurt to be extra nice to the lady at the front desk, a little compliment about how pretty she is can pay off

>> No.8615969

>>8615937
Love this boomer advice, kek.

>> No.8615971

>>8615882
but that would take confidence and the ability to read social cues, skills that 99% of /biz/ lacks

>> No.8616016

>>8615951
Good way to not get hired right away. Flirting with reception. Smart move dick mouth.

>> No.8616028

>>8615882
That picture makes me incredibly depressed.

>tfw you will never have a qt snowboarding gf

>> No.8616046

>>8615937
Do I still have my dick out while I'm doing this?

>> No.8616050

>>8616028
Don't get too down on yourself. She is out of 95% of biz's league.

>> No.8616100

>>8615882
shit bait, kys

>> No.8616184
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8616184

Lmao, nobody here is ready to get a serious job.

>> No.8616194

>>8615934
Nice LARP faggot, what's your company called?

>> No.8616581

>>8616184
I’m not even ready to get serious pants

>> No.8616974

>>8615934
>Associated with Utah Jazz
>Proud of it
Kek

>> No.8616992

>>8615882
Fuck that bitch, she probably lives in a fucking rich bubble with those arian genes, that equipment is expensive as fuck also, fucking lucky normies i wish i could fucking kill tjhem all

>> No.8617645

>>8615882
Look at her dumb fucking boyfriend taking the picture in her goggles.

"Sure babe ill take a pic of you for your ig"

Meanwhile chad is slidin in her DM's all like "yo thot I have a cabin is aspen". And her dumb fucking boyfriend gets stuck watching their cat while she "finds herself" for the weekend on chads peen.


I fucking hate skanks. No principles at all.

>> No.8617661

>>8616992
I want to smack that look of arrogance right off her fucking face. Brb going to listen to some Patrice O'Neal to calm myself.

>> No.8617673

>>8616974
kek nothing that's probably a three year contract where all he has to do is show up

>> No.8617682

>>8615882
Already won at lottery. Have fun working 8 meaningless hours a day.

>> No.8617686

>>8615882
companies in my area don't use google
you plan is a shit

>> No.8617706
File: 1.75 MB, 928x653, handshakedadoffice.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8617706

>>8615882
found OP

>> No.8617727
File: 11 KB, 170x258, 170px-Chad_sat-1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8617727

>>8615934
Fist bump brah. I apprencied as a plumber at 18. Now im 24 and pullin 600k/yr. Make my own hrs

>> No.8617749

>>8615882
Damn those eyes tho

>> No.8617758

>>8616050

>out of biz’s league

Youre joking right? I mean shes not unattractive but I’d consider her absolute baseline, if I wasn’t in the same league as her I’d actually kms, she is like the Ford fiesta of women. Dependable, predictably attractive, and basically what all my mates gfs look like.

>> No.8617766

Did that for 3 months now for an engineering internship after working 9 months straight (2 weeks vacation) voluntarily on another company. What am I missing here?

>> No.8617796

>>8617758
Sure guy, sure.

>> No.8617801

>>8617766
>Engineering
Isn't that field dominated by high functioning autists? They would probably prefer if you just walked in and handed your resume without saying a word

>> No.8617824
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8617824

>>8617758
I wish I lived wherever you are that girls like that are baseline.

>> No.8617840

>>8617727
hahahah what

>> No.8617847

>>8617758
You should also brush up your interview skills

>> No.8617862

>>8617847
Meant for >>8617766

>> No.8618044

>>8617801
Yeah. I presume it's caused by the "diploma industry" we have here in my country (Brazil). Everyone has a fucking degree (some more than three) and can't get a decent job

>> No.8618092

>>8617824
he obviously lives in Canada
>>8617758

>> No.8618116

why don't your guys parents just make you a trust fund?

i get 50k a month off mine so i dont need to work

>> No.8618167

>>8617796

Not everyone lives in britbongistan where anything that is female is considered a catch lol

>> No.8618197
File: 49 KB, 700x394, rs-166339-MCDNADY_EC004_H.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8618197

>>8618092
Leafs are really that hot? That girl is straight perfection. Her goggles even say "anon"

>> No.8618239

>>8618044
America is not far behind

>> No.8618258

>>8618197
Look at his ID

>> No.8618281

Well done day traders you’ve drove the price down to the point that everyone’s jumping ship. How well are you shorts doing now.

>> No.8618300
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8618300

>>8615937
underrated

>> No.8618330

>>8616046
>doesn't sweep with his dick

>> No.8618350

>>8615882
10. Tell the boomer that young millenials just don't understand the value of a good work ethic, he'll instantly like you.

>> No.8618373
File: 151 KB, 1170x780, Willy-1170x780.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8618373

>>8618258
Thank you for helping me

>> No.8618405

Unfortunately I already have a job. The whole point was so I could quit it

>> No.8618447
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8618447

>>8615882
>1

Jokes on you, I'm bald

>> No.8618451

> "I'm a hard worker. I set high goals, and I've been told that I'm persistent. Now, I'm not fooling myself, sir. Having been raised with the self esteem movement so popular in schools, I used to expect my needs to be considered. But I know that these days, our culture no long caters to the job loyalty that could be promised to earlier generations. What I believe, sir, is that good thinks come to those who work their asses off. And that people such as yourself, who reached the top of the mountain didn't just fall there. My motto is, if you want to win the lottery, you have to make the money to buy the ticket"

/Biz/raelites try begging for a job, hilarity ensues

>> No.8618476

>>8615882
her grilfriend reflecting in her goggles is fucking hawt!

>> No.8618775
File: 2.29 MB, 1440x1698, Screenshot_2018-03-29-08-45-03~2.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8618775

> baseline

Jesus. Anyways, she's American but from the chill part.

>> No.8618805
File: 2.67 MB, 1440x1789, Screenshot_2018-03-29-08-47-36~2.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8618805

And one more. But seriously, she's out of all of /biz/ league.

>> No.8619639

>>8616992
>>8617645

You guys make me thankful for not being this far down the /r9k/ rabbithole
I just saw a picture of a girl and ignored it without thinking about it
thanks bitter virgin robots,