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2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/biz/ - Business & Finance

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56291952 No.56291952 [Reply] [Original]

>excellent, we'd love to have you work here
>now we just need you to come in and pee in this cup to make sure you don't have any fun whenever you're not working for us
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>> No.56292272
File: 68 KB, 500x332, pepe piss.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
56292272

Is it okay to just bring a bottle from home?

>> No.56292319

>>56292272
I have to keep it warm or else they'll know

>> No.56292381

In the military they have you drop your pants to your ankles and a guy watches the piss come out of your dick just to make sure you're not cheating

>> No.56292395

>>56292381
That's just the military being it's homosexual self

>> No.56292756

>>56292319
put in microwave beforehand

>> No.56292773

>>56292381
Just buy fake legs and penis

>> No.56292859

>>56292381
Who can pee under those horrible conditions? A bit of privacy would be nice.

>> No.56292867

>>56291952
Is this an amerifat thing? Never has any company I've worked for asked for my piss

>> No.56292876

>>56292381
The worst is if you're female as the only way to avoid fakes being hidden in the labia is to inspert this wooden spoon like thing to find the urethra and have that collect the urine.

>> No.56292908
File: 2 KB, 197x145, dj pepe.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
56292908

>small company
>boss loves weed
>thus no drug tests
>"no anon we'd all fail if we had to haha"
>Haha totally guys

>no one knows I roll sack at raves every other weekend

>> No.56292909

>>56291952
Quickfix plus

>> No.56293012

>>56291952
Have someone piss in a tough ziplock bag. Get some of those pouches that when you squeeze them they get hot and then put that in the piss bag. Check with digital thermometer until its body temperature and then pour into cup.

If it’s a hair follicle test then you MIGHT be fucked, but you could claim a religious exemption. Just say urine is okay because it’s waste but “my hair is sacred to my people.” They won’t fuck with that unless it’s something crazy like being a pilot or believe it or not, truckers too. Have a friend that HAD to do the hair follicle one…and of course he failed because he smokes fentanyl and meth.

You should be good. Just make sure the person pissing for you is your same gender and doesn’t do drugs (obviously).

>> No.56293060
File: 25 KB, 360x360, 1652801791540.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
56293060

>>56292381
>pretend to sneeze so it splashes him in the face

>> No.56293873

Tell them to fuck off, politely of course.

>> No.56293885

>>56291952
unironically not a thing in the western european places i worked. no one cares if yuo are danked af or snorting cocain, just do your work. if a work accident happens they do test though and you are fucked if something happens then.

>> No.56293899

>>56292381
and you just KNOW the inspector that is assigned (or rather, applies) for this job is a homosexual or some saddist thats going to bully you later lmao