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/biz/ - Business & Finance

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54824502 No.54824502 [Reply] [Original]

Will we get pussy powell or Based Jackson Hole destroyer of bullgroids Powell tomorrow?

>> No.54824513
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54824513

>>54824502
We all know it.

>> No.54824520

>>54824502
He is going to come to each of houses personally and anally humiliate us

>> No.54824539

>>54824502
Neither. You're going to get a limpdick 25 pt increase and the market's gonna fucking pump on it
Yes I'm mad
Nothing ever happens.

>> No.54824541

>>54824513
haha i watched the friends documentary so i get this joke

>> No.54824561

>>54824539
probably this

>> No.54824605
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54824605

>>54824502
>100 bps
>fuck you, not my problem
>exits stage budd dwyer style

>> No.54824617

>>54824502
jerome is a fall goy so bad shit is going to happen eventually.

>> No.54827067
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54827067

>Noooo!
>Why won't the Fed Chair destroy the global economy!!!
>This was supposed to be my chance to win! How can he do this to me and my gambling bets?!

>> No.54829068

Another hike but crypto pumps anyway. The bull has ascended Fed rate Fud.

>> No.54829160
File: 84 KB, 1200x675, Jerome-H.-Powell-1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
54829160

>Thank you, thank you, it's great to be here. I know some of you are probably wondering why I'm here. I mean, who wants to hear about monetary policy and interest rates, right? But don't worry, I've got some good news and some bad news.
>The good news is that the economy is doing pretty well. Unemployment is low, inflation is under control, and the stock market is booming. The bad news is that, well, I'm about to raise the federal funds rate by 25 basis points.
>(crowd boos and jeers)
>I know, I know, it's not what you wanted to hear. But trust me, it's for the best. We don't want the economy to overheat and inflation to spiral out of control. And besides, a 25 basis point increase isn't really that much. It's like when you go to Starbucks and they raise the price of your latte by 25 cents. It's annoying, but you'll still buy it.
>But I understand that some of you might be worried about the impact this will have on your wallets. Don't worry, I've got some tips for you. First of all, if you have an adjustable-rate mortgage, you might want to consider refinancing to a fixed-rate mortgage. And if you have credit card debt, now's the time to start paying it off. Trust me, your future self will thank you.
>And finally, if you're really feeling the pinch, just remember that laughter is the best medicine. So go out and see a comedy show, like this one. Because no matter what the Fed does, you can always count on us to provide you with some good old-fashioned entertainment.
>(crowd laughs and applauds)
>Thank you, thank you, you've been a great audience. And remember, don't panic, we've got this under control.

>> No.54829192

>>54829160
Was genuinely smiling until that last line.

>> No.54829547

>>54829160
kek

I have PTSD from all the FOMC meetings, and hope this madness will soon end, but this was certainly a clown show.

>> No.54829875

>>54824502
Hes gonna do 25 bps hike

I should probably short buttcorn

>> No.54829883

>>54829160
Bullish until the last line kek