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/biz/ - Business & Finance

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54697197 No.54697197 [Reply] [Original]

Is it okay to just lie on my resume? I'm so tired of working at walmart, i'm breaking my back and seeing land whales spend their money while i get a pittance. There has to be something better.

I can't code but I'm good at lying, why do I need a 4 year degree to be an anaylst? Someone help me out here /biz/

>> No.54697223

Data analyst jobs are fiercely competitive and everyone applying has a 4.0 GPA masters with multiple coding projects and Peer reviewed publications under their name

>> No.54697293

>>54697197
Yep, all you need is a good friend or two to act as a reference for you for whatever company you decide to fake your experience for. It's better to acknowledge that you have no degree and just fake relevant work experience because that is much harder to check for the person hiring.

>> No.54697304

>>54697223

what about a business analyst? that doesn't seem hard either what do you do write up fucking microsoft word documents and tell people what to do

>> No.54697323

>>54697197
It isn’t illegal as far as I know.

>>54697223
You’re overly exaggerating. It’s competitive but not in the insane way you’re insinuating; most of the data analyst at my company are rather unimpressive with just bachelors and maybe a masters.

>> No.54697374

>>54697197
just look up the job description on a job ad, see if any if it makes sense if you can do it or not. Look up people on linkedin that do that job, what are their education and experience. Yes lie on job and interviews. You will get turned down a lot but slowly learn what they want you to know. Then you study it enough to lie about it, its not a lie anymore you know how to do it and just need the "job exp" congrats you now make 6 figs 5 years later in whatever field, because you say you have 10 years actually. Helps if you aren't in your 20s by this point.

>> No.54697462

>54697197
Nobody checks references or education. If youre socially inclined go for it , it's easy. Fake it till you make it is real. If youre tired of Walmart go be a seasonal tradie for a few years and use the time and insurance on the off season to build something of your own up.

>> No.54697522

>>54697197
If ur good at lying just go into sales

>> No.54697578

>>54697197
yes but don't fake any documentation showing you worked somewhere or got an education somewhere. That goes into felony territory

>> No.54697769
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54697769

>>54697197

>There has to be something better.

There is. Source: used to work retail, now consulting as wfh dev on enterprise software implementations.

There are many like me but also many folks who are 'functional' consultants. That is, their jobs are much less technical, and more about understanding the software and the business, and how to configure it to match the company's business process else ask the devs to code anything that can't be changed by turning knobs in a config tool (so, a lot). These guys also wfh for good pay and mostly have meetings about producing documents describing work other people will do. It seems like a good gig, if you can't code.

>why do I need a 4 year degree to be an anaylst

You don't. Analysts are spreadsheet jockeys.

>>54697462

Many places do in fact do a bg check especially the big companies. If they're gonna check they'll ask you to sign a release most likely. Like others have said you can definitely bullshit your way into something with enough persistence, and if you're a quick learner and a hard worker you can learn to fish and keep it rolling.