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2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/biz/ - Business & Finance

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54669065 No.54669065 [Reply] [Original]

>daily stand up

>> No.54669090

yeh i worked on that story yesterday. Im gonna work on it today. No impediments. How bout we go to anon next?

>> No.54669128
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54669128

>backlog grooming sessions
>sprint planning sessions
>sprint retrospectives
>ticket assignment meetings

I hate software dev so much its unreal

>> No.54669131

>hourly anal cavity search

>> No.54669165

>>54669065
>tfw I work on personal projects at work and people think I’m working because they see code on the monitor

>> No.54669273
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54669273

>UHH YOU DIDNT UPDATE HOURS ON YOUR STORIES

>> No.54669469

>>54669273
Sorry, we must've underestimated the point value for this effort. I'll take that into account when we assign points for efforts related to this component in the future. Will roll

>> No.54669506

>>54669469
Lmao I’m gonna start using this

>> No.54670014

>>54669128
Team lunch/games today, gonna kms. I got a wfh job to avoid normies

>> No.54670113
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54670113

>>54669273
My heckin burndown charts!!!

>> No.54670178

>>54669065
How long until roasties realize scrum is boomer

>> No.54671082
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54671082

>>54670113
literally my scrum master

>> No.54671557

>>54671082
what does a scrum master actually do?

>> No.54672231
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54672231

>>54669065
>Daily 200% gain of the day
>back to sleep
Am i doing it right dextoolsbros?

>> No.54672310

>>54671557
literally nothing

>> No.54673099

Am I the only software engineer that found a comfy role (after a few tries)?

>no daily standup. text an update in chat if you feel its relevant
>Just 4 white American males wfh across 3 timezones. 3 engineers + 1 manager that was formerly an engineer. No 'scrum lord', proj mgr, etc.
>1 team meeting per week
>$250k/year

>> No.54674922

>>54671557
The scrumbags at my gig are literally there just to enforce ceremony. Stuff like asking "what went well" and "what can be improved upon". A project manager or team lead could perform the same function but some joints will hire dedicated humans. I suspect its just a ploy to get higher diversity ratios as ive noticed scrumbags are usually minorities/women too dumb for anything technical

>> No.54674951
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54674951

>>54673099
this is my team. i spend more time in inclusion/diversity training than real work.

>> No.54674953

>>54673099
same here except i make $370k working for nvidia

>> No.54674973

>>54674953
same but i make 742k adding legs in metaverse https://virtualrealitytimes.com/2023/04/07/some-meta-employees-working-on-metaverse-projects-earning-up-to-1-million/

>> No.54675250

>>54669065
>>54669090
>>54669128
Um, anon, we can't see you.
Can you turn your camera on?
You know it's company policy now to have your webcam on during meetings.

>> No.54676237
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54676237

>>54675250
my company doesn’t force this…yet

>> No.54676333

>>54669065
>tfw supposed to lead the daily stand-up tomorrow
>haven't rehearsed any of my jokes yet

how fucked am i

>> No.54676505

>>54673099
>across 3 timezones
>2am code review for an emergency fix