/smg/ - Stock Market General

[Anonymous No.54370453]

AI chatbot female brokers owe me sex and Im tired pretending they don't.

>Educational sites:
https://www.investopedia.com/
https://www.khanacademy.org/economics-finance-domain
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLiOs3-llXq5CGQPNHf_3-nYZ4d_w7OP52

>Charts:
https://www.tradingview.com
https://www.finscreener.com
https://www.koyfin.com/
https://www.portfoliovisualizer.com

>Live Streams:
https://www.newslive.com/american/cnbc.html
https://www.newslive.com/american/bloomberg-television-business.html

>Screeners:
https://finviz.com/
https://www.tradingview.com/screener
https://etfdb.com/

>Options
https://www.optionsplaybook.com/options-introduction/
https://www.optionsprofitcalculator.com
https://optionstrat.com/
https://www.optionistics.com/quotes/option-prices

>Pre-Market and Live data:
https://www.investing.com/indices/indices-futures
https://finance.yahoo.com/

>Calendars
https://www.marketwatch.com/economy-politics/calendar
https://www.earningswhispers.com/calendar
https://www.cmegroup.com/trading/interest-rates/countdown-to-fomc.html

>Boomer Investing 101:
https://www.bogleheads.org/wiki/Getting_started

>Misc
https://finance.yahoo.com/trending-tickers
https://market24hclock.com/
https://fintel.io/
https://www.dividendchannel.com/drip-returns-calculator
https://brokerchooser.com/

>>54367359

[Anonymous No.54370458]

damn my alibaba 2025 leaps went up 70% today lol.

[Anonymous No.54370461]

first for NIGGER

[Anonymous No.54370479]

What do you guys spend your gains on? For me, I'm assembling a new backpacking kit.
>And don't say more stocks/contracts you fuckin losers.

[Anonymous No.54370489]

We're gonna steal $800 billion from the Chinks. And there's not a G*d damn thing they can do about it.

[Anonymous No.54370491]

I blame jews for all my failures in the stock market

[Anonymous No.54370498]

>>54370458
baba bros... 我们赢了

[Anonymous No.54370507]

>>54370489
My only regret is it isn't 800 trillion!

[Anonymous No.54370512]

>>54370453
Female brokers(AI) fuck bears

TXN, GD, LMT

[Anonymous No.54370518]

>>54370479
New computer, new monitor, anime figures. I wanted to get a house but I don't make nearly enough money to swing that.

[Anonymous No.54370526]

>>54370491
>I thank you tards for my exit liquidity
danke chud

>>54370451
don't lose that edge

[Anonymous No.54370528]

>>54370491
I love this ayy.

[Anonymous No.54370532]

>>54370512
4>3>2>1

[Anonymous No.54370533]

>>54370479
I am looking at buying a second monitor, some 7.62 ammo, and a pair of fancy leather boots.

[Anonymous No.54370538]

>>54370479
Why on earth would I have gains/

[Anonymous No.54370539]

>>54370518
Was it a prebuilt?

[Anonymous No.54370548]

>>54370479
>backpacking kit
That is exactly what I was working on when this health shit hit me. I was preparing to hit the Pinhoti. I already lived outdoors for several years but had a short opportunity to re-vamp my kit and was looking forward to doing the unsung trail.

[Anonymous No.54370552]

>>54370479
more stocks :)

[Anonymous No.54370561]

>>54370539
I specc'd it out myself then took it to a shop to build. Bought right when BTC went under 20K so the parts were a little cheaper. I overspecc'd but whatever. I gotta thank Jonny Fathands for that SIDU tip because that paid for the whole thing.

[Anonymous No.54370570]

>>54370453
b-but anon..
what if your AI chatbot female broker wants to go on a d-... d-date first??

[Anonymous No.54370576]

>>54370512

[Anonymous No.54370583]

>>54370479

>>54370552
this

[Anonymous No.54370598]

>>54370576
good eye bro damn

[Anonymous No.54370603]

:)

[Anonymous No.54370606]

>>54370570
ok, how many of you are talking to your AI brokers for non-business related ventures

[Anonymous No.54370615]

>>54370548
>Pinhoti
Neat. Shame about the boneitis or whatever got you.

[Anonymous No.54370617]

>>54370576
the two straps for the girl on the right is another AI tell. Same reason it tends to give weird numbers of fingers and sometimes limbs, it can't count. all it knows is that certain blobs of pixels, in images described by these prompts, often go together with these other blobs of pixels in this pattern.

[Anonymous No.54370628]

>>54370479
More stocks, fuck you
I already have a nice desktop PC and until I can buy a house with this shit it might as well be a Chuck E Cheese account (other than the extra protection against financial emergencies of course)

[Anonymous No.54370631]

SERIOUSLY WHO THE FUCK IS BUYING

[Anonymous No.54370640]

>>54370498
I thought I only had 2 call options so i was kinda sad. BUt apparently I bought 2 more at some point when it was trading at $80

I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing I made an investment decision like that without knowing

[Anonymous No.54370646]

>still haven't heard back from RH support
>can't trade until I do
Bros......

[Anonymous No.54370654]

>>54370631
Biggest loss in 50+ years of doing business? BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY!!!!!!

[Anonymous No.54370656]

>tfw I only have $1500 a month that I can invest.
I'm never going to make it.

[Anonymous No.54370665]

>>54370656
Have you tried high risk leverage?

[Anonymous No.54370668]

>>54370491
Based

[Anonymous No.54370671]

>>54370631
>what is short covering
bobo is

[Anonymous No.54370673]

>>54370628
>until I can buy a house with this shit it might as well be a Chuck E Cheese account
>Look at my spreadsheet
>Realize it's literally nothing

[Anonymous No.54370680]

>>54370665
like what?

[Anonymous No.54370687]

>>54370656
1500 is plenty of money nigga

[Anonymous No.54370691]

look up northern trust corp.
>more uninsured deposit % than FRC
>more HTM securities than FRC and SVB
>service rich clients exclusively
why havent they gotten caught up in all this bull shit? they must be next

[Anonymous No.54370693]

>>54370576
Doesn't bother me, real women are a turn off.

[Anonymous No.54370695]

>>54370687
maybe if I was 20 but I'm in my late 30's and just started learning about this shit.

[Anonymous No.54370697]

>>54370646
Good Robingoy. Let me tell you a story

2 or 3 years ago Robincuck went down for a whole day, causing lots of people to lose money. I sent them a strongly worded letter referring to their large noses and they never even sent me a free month RobinGold like they promised

[Anonymous No.54370699]

>>54370617
we're improving

>While praising the benefits of technology and artificial intelligence, Pope Francis says AI raises serious questions and must be ethically and responsibly used to promote human dignity and the common good.


https://www.vaticannews.va/en/pope/news/2023-03/pope-francis-minerva-dialogues-technology-artificial-intelligenc.html

[Anonymous No.54370708]

BOIL BROS
WE PATIENTY WAIT
LIKE HUNTERS OF GAME
FOR EUROFAG FAIL

"The EU managed to save 19% of gas demand from August 2022 to January 2023, and 13% (55bcm) over the last year. These gas savings were critical to getting Europe through last winter, but only around one quarter of the savings (14.5bcm) were achieved via structural solutions like renewables, electrification and efficiency – and thus permanent. Europe is still vulnerable to shortage risks next winter."

[Anonymous No.54370710]

>>54370693
>Crushing videos
I'm pretty sure there was some controversy about this meme fetish a few years back because some Chinks were sitting on glass panels and crushing bunnies to death

[Anonymous No.54370711]

How the FUCK do I file a tax extension? I can't figure it out.

[Anonymous No.54370722]

>>54370699
because he finally got meme'd

[Anonymous No.54370725]

>>54370693
that dumb bitch

[Anonymous No.54370729]

>>54370708
stop whining chud and learn to time the market >>54370344

[Anonymous No.54370731]

>>54370680
Short term OTM options contracts on margin

[Anonymous No.54370735]

>>54370711
Well first you're gonna need some pvc pipe, nails, and some household chemicals.

[Anonymous No.54370749]

>>54370693
Cake farts for zoomers

[Anonymous No.54370754]

>>54370722
>AI meme magic overtaking Glownigga meme magic
the power that will be unleashed is unfathomably awesome

[Anonymous No.54370759]

>>54370697
I was there, I'm trying to regain access to my old account

[Anonymous No.54370771]

>>54370479
I dont spend money at all
I just save
I buy my kids xmas presents and take them to the zoo and stuff but other than that i wont spend shit that isnt a necessity

[Anonymous No.54370776]

>>54370708
All we need is Biden to throw a tantrum at the loss of Bakhmut and, kaboom, some LNG storage terminals in Europe are no longer full.

[Anonymous No.54370777]

>>54370673
Learning the markets and taking control of your finances is the first step and already puts you way ahead of paycheck-to-paycheck normies
If growing your income is plausible, that plus following the markets should at least get you to 6fig hell
Of course you can also shortcut there by betting on retarded pump-and-dumps but usually that results in getting too cocky and losing it all.
Once your at 6fig... well the next step, unless you're really patient, is you need to be exceptional. And I'm not so I can't help you there. But, at least you won't be on the street from a surprise expense, and if you don't mind debtmaxxing then you could probably make a down payment on a house depending on your local market.

[Anonymous No.54370807]

>>54370776
Euros always face unforeseen fail due to their baseless superiority complexes and being, in fact, faggots.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FfJv9QYrlwg

[Anonymous No.54370817]

>>54370695
1500 a month is great amount of savings, almost 20k a year

[Anonymous No.54370818]

Why do stocks only go down?

[Anonymous No.54370822]

>>54370807
Is this a case of people in the end getting what they deserve?

[Anonymous No.54370833]

[Anonymous No.54370843]

>>54370822
I don't know, I personally believe everyone *deserves* mercy, but it is definitely a case of them having been proven smug faggots. Many such, SAD!

[Anonymous No.54370850]

>>54370453
Sell options
Farm theta
Ignore meme stocks
Stick to a trade plan with good rules frens, we can all make it

[Anonymous No.54370860]

>>54370818
>chud who bought BOIL asks why commodity doesn't stop going down
/smg/ never change a thang

[Anonymous No.54370864]

>>54370807
>>54370822
100%.

And I know you might be thinking "wait, why would Biden repeat the Nordstream fuckery? Doesn't hitting storage sabotage the EU's ability to survive independent of Putin?"

Well, doing that and blaming it on the Kremlin would motivate those pussies to send more than a few 30 year old tanks into the fray, wouldn't it?

[Anonymous No.54370875]

It's literally over tomorrow isn't it bros
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nllmm7Q4sj0

[Anonymous No.54370887]

>>54370453
early bake. report.

[Anonymous No.54370889]

>>54370875
no it's always friday

[Anonymous No.54370897]

>>54370807
>>54370864
WWII killed all the Chads. Only chuds left in charge of YuroP. They are dogs only capable of listening to massa

[Anonymous No.54370907]

>>54370889
We're due for a black Wednesday

[Anonymous No.54370922]

>>54370907
Fuck kinda problem you got with a *Black* Wednesday?

[Anonymous No.54370932]

>>54370922
They keep stealing the rims off of my mid-90's Cadillac.

[Anonymous No.54370931]

I'm going to buy and hold SPY for 20+ years

[Anonymous No.54370955]

>>54370907
>black
*Black
and it is no longer allowed to associate negative market days with Blackness.

[Anonymous No.54370985]

>>54370955
So what do we call it?
I propose:
Fried Chicken Friday
Watermelon Wednesday
Menthol Monday

[Anonymous No.54370986]

>me riding the 'bull' market

[Anonymous No.54370997]

>>54370922
what do you mean You people?

[Anonymous No.54371003]

>>54370985
Those are not racist enough

[Anonymous No.54371007]

>PBoC offers a 7-day reverse repo for 200 bln yuan at 2%.
wtf

>>54370986
is he ok?

[Anonymous No.54371012]

>>54370986
kek

[Anonymous No.54371013]

>>54370986
Why did he do it?

[Anonymous No.54371044]

HAHAHA YOU'RE NOT SELLING THE NASDAQ. THE BUBBLE IS POPPING AND YOU'RE NOT SELLING. WHY YOU NO SELL DUMMY WH*TE BOI

[Anonymous No.54371055]

>>54370860
What is the BOIL obsession, holy shit. Natural gas isn’t going away no matter how much contango you want to english it with.

[Anonymous No.54371073]

>>54371013
Based on smg for the past three days he bet on Boil

[Anonymous No.54371079]

>>54371044
SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU STUPID INSECTOID FUUUUUUUUCK

[Anonymous No.54371084]

>>54371055
>obsession with holding products that literally sell low and buy high

[Anonymous No.54371086]

>>54371044
i am 2x the nasdaq. you are stupid and your kpop posting proves it

>but im doing it ironically to make people mad
yeah sure

[Anonymous No.54371112]

What are some good movies about bank runs?

[Anonymous No.54371130]

>>54371044
Filtered

[Anonymous No.54371131]

>>54371112
It's a wonderful life

[Anonymous No.54371135]

>>54371084

Yep, this shit right here is why I hate futures based ETFs for commodity plays. Producers or physically backed funds are the way to go.

[Anonymous No.54371155]

>>54370631
FUTES RIPPIN

[Anonymous No.54371160]

>HE BOUGHT NATURAL GAS AT THE END OF WINTER
AAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
>HE LEVERED UP TO DO IT
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

[Anonymous No.54371161]

>>54371135
indeed. it's ok if you're just quick trading BOIL/KOLD, but anyone that thinks they should just "buy and hold" over weeks let alone MONTHS is pants on the head retards unless they know cycles.

*wink wink*
>>54370729

[Anonymous No.54371164]

Anyone know a good OTC screener that's free? Being able to filter by industry, company age, etc. Or do I got to pay for that shit.

[Anonymous No.54371166]

>>54371130
HA HA HA HA

I'm actually going long soon.

[Anonymous No.54371167]

>>54370731
This is sound investment advice.

[Anonymous No.54371171]

>>54371164
plenty of stock screeners out there, not sure if they offer company age though , that's super fucking weird criteria.

[Anonymous No.54371178]

>>54370711
>How the FUCK do I file a tax extension?
Hire a wagie?

[Anonymous No.54371185]

>>54371164
see if this works for you Mr. pink sheet gambler
https://www.finscreener.org/screener/most-active/stocks/otc

[Anonymous No.54371190]

>>54370691
Did they do new bond issues recently?

[Anonymous No.54371194]

>>54371135
any examples?

[Anonymous No.54371220]

So banks arent going to fail now?

[Anonymous No.54371227]

>>54371220
lemme rub my crystal ball

[Anonymous No.54371232]

>>54370489
Wrong. All SVB Chinese depositors got bailed out. White ppl = cucks.

[Anonymous No.54371233]

>>54370691
>>54371190
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5s2bS3k9YpU

[Anonymous No.54371238]

>>54371220
Youre over a week late in figuring that out

[Anonymous No.54371253]

>>54371220
some will, others will be fine. I doubt we are finished with the "oops we are no longer solvent tee hee" overnight nonsense.

[Anonymous No.54371270]

What's the risk to my principal with JEPI?

[Anonymous No.54371274]

So how will it works for my BABA? Instead of a single line, I'll get 6 sub-lines? When is this supposed to happen? I suppose I won't get a choice whether or bot I want to, say, put everything into the Cloud entity, and one day I'll just have 6 lines with their even weigthing. And everyone dumping the shit entity while the good entity pumps. Oh well.

[Anonymous No.54371275]

>>54371194

Hard to do with energy directly, but metals will follow it so I'm looking at PICK for a braindead commodity producer basket. I guess oil and gas explorers are fine too tho.

Platinum is also drawing down physical supply bigly so I am really close to pulling the trigger on PLTM. The Sprott funds are also there for physical PMs.

Although to be clear I'm still focused on riding things out with TUA (short duration treasuries) and cash for a while longer.

[Anonymous No.54371280]

>>54371233
how about a qrd since this is an hour long

[Anonymous No.54371281]

>>54371220
ask this guy: https://twitter.com/dharmatrade/status/1640150080647991296

[Anonymous No.54371296]

>>54371270
The fact that it is actively managed, so technically all of it is at risk.
>just look at QYLD's 1 year

[Anonymous No.54371300]

>>54370631

I feel like this whole banking crisis is going to be memory-holed. Don't worry... as soon are the banks are shored up, yields will rise to the 5% target.

[Anonymous No.54371302]

>>54370850
>good rules
Aka take your loss like a professional. I learned how to take my gains. It's the losses for me

[Anonymous No.54371334]

All the bad news is behind us. Begin the bull market

[Anonymous No.54371336]

>>54371280
>Fed raises rates at the fastest pace in history
>shit gonna break somewhere DUH
>SVB didn't really do anything wrong by not insuring bonds (they weren't worse than an average bank)
>their main mistake was having a deposit base mainly of silicon valley rich fags, VCs, businesses that could get easily spooked cuz "muh FDIC only insures up to 250K"
>now everyone on fintwit are looking at any bank with the same profile as the next one to fail stoking up bank run fears

[Anonymous No.54371373]

>>54371334
AHHHHHHH
>>54370986

[Anonymous No.54371393]

The bottom was in october

[Anonymous No.54371412]

>futes

[Anonymous No.54371422]

why is it so hard to get a copy of a birth cert aaaahhhh

[Anonymous No.54371426]

should I start an LLC and open a bank account for it to invest my money from?

[Anonymous No.54371431]

Rally and romance

[Anonymous No.54371434]

>>54371393
YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS

[Anonymous No.54371440]

>>54370631
enjoy climbing THE WALL OF WORRY

[Anonymous No.54371472]

aZz ChEeKz On MuH WhItE TeE

[Anonymous No.54371482]

>>54371422
>why is it so hard
Only for chad!

[Anonymous No.54371508]

>>54371393
there is another 30% drop coming

[Anonymous No.54371513]

Every time futures open nasdaq is always up .32%

[Anonymous No.54371533]

>>54371508
>30%
Le heckin?

[Anonymous No.54371554]

[Anonymous No.54371583]

>>54371508
Of course. After the 120% bump.

[Anonymous No.54371585]

>>54371281
>FRC 67%
I fucking hate the media so goddamn much for making FRC the focus of the "the next big collapse." I really hope come earnings in a few weeks people realize FRC isn't doing as poorly as some of these other banks still trading in the 40s and 50s.

[Anonymous No.54371589]

A nematode!

[Anonymous No.54371591]

>>54371232
Mostly Israelis actually.

https://www.trunews.com/stream/shekel-shuffle-janet-yellens-svb-bailout-was-for-israeli-tech-firms

[Anonymous No.54371605]

>>54371336
Wrong
Ntrs just as bad as SBNY and svb

[Anonymous No.54371614]

>coom

[Anonymous No.54371618]

KRE is finna PUMP FRFR

[Anonymous No.54371628]

I have come across an absolutely incredible post by an anon, I am not sure how this will impact my market decisions with this new ineffable knowledge.
>>2428525

[Anonymous No.54371643]

pumping schwab

[Anonymous No.54371645]

>blue drank futes

[Anonymous No.54371650]

Bulls are winning

We haven't made a new low in almost 6 months

[Anonymous No.54371658]

>>54371628
>coom

[Anonymous No.54371661]

>>54371605

[Anonymous No.54371662]

>>54371650
is the joke here how long its been since we had a new high?

[Anonymous No.54371664]

>>54371628
>>>/trv/2428525

[Anonymous No.54371673]

>>54371662
We get to buy cheaper shares for long term capital appreciation

Boglechads onlywin

[Anonymous No.54371674]

>>54371650
I'm just glad my broker is still in /biz/

[Anonymous No.54371692]

>slaps your gfs ass

[Anonymous No.54371701]

>>54370628
>until I can buy a house with this shit it might as well be a Chuck E Cheese account
I've already got enough for a house, and I still keep all my money tied up in trading accounts slowly accumulating more stocks.

Most of my gains came post-covid and I refuse to buy into the absolute peak of this housing bubble.

[Anonymous No.54371706]

>>54371533
the market crashes after every pivot with cut rates. it's gona happen in a couple months

[Anonymous No.54371714]

>>54371692
God Oz was such a shit candidate, wtf was Trump thinking

[Anonymous No.54371725]

[Anonymous No.54371728]

>>54371706
it's been too long since an inflationary crisis nobody knows what will happen. I think there's only a 20% chance of a crash like that happening.
60% chance of crabbing in the 3800/4200 all of 2023
20% chance of a mega rip to 5000 based upon AI or the ukraine war ending

[Anonymous No.54371729]

>>54371692
Jokes on him, I don't have one

[Anonymous No.54371736]

>>54371422
>why is it so hard to get a copy of a birth cert
Why do you need a copy of your birth certificate?

[Anonymous No.54371741]

>>54371729
>Schlop

[Anonymous No.54371746]

>>54371701
It isn't just that, it takes money to make money, and it is hard to justify putting your money into property when you are just one solid 2x-3x from leaving 6 figure hell.

[Anonymous No.54371748]

>>54371736
To prove you were born, duh.

[Anonymous No.54371750]

>>54371728
>this time it will be different

[Anonymous No.54371751]

OK
For anyone here who needs to heed info on BOIL
The contracts will roll from the May to the June spanning 5 business days beginning on April the 6th, and it is expected to be a BEARISH ROLL due to the CONTANGAYO. If you are already holding I give you NO FUCKING ADVICE but I know what I would do. Do you know what I would do? See if you can guess. OK, let's see how you did, here it comes (what I would do). I would average down into any dip below my present holdings (if I held, which I do not, sure is nice) and then sell any pump decent intraday pump I could get, thus minimizing my losses, before that process begins. The only actual *advices* I will offer within this post is to avoid all whores and to *never relax*.

[Anonymous No.54371752]

>>54371748
That's what the original of your birth certificate does.

A copy would be...for your clone.

[Anonymous No.54371753]

>>54371426
my LLC is getting cleaned out by theta gang. Every fucking week I'm counting red. What the fuck is this market doing, choose a direction fags

[Anonymous No.54371755]

>>54371628
me and my gf barely fuck once a month or so...
I really should leave her

[Anonymous No.54371758]

>>54371752

[Anonymous No.54371763]

>>54371714
>implying it mattered
Fetterman's brain is literally mush. That's exactly the type of candidate they want in office. A braindead puppet just like Biden. Abe Lincoln could have ran against him and they would have just dropped off boxes of ballots at 3am exactly as the camera's "mysteriously turned off"

[Anonymous No.54371774]

>>54371650

[Anonymous No.54371777]

>>54371750
youre the one saying it will be different. economies crashing after downturn is the exception not the rule. line go up

[Anonymous No.54371807]

>>54371706
You may go he said "you shoulda been say so"
He tipped him in cash, an argentinian peso
There you go my good man, buy something nice for the seed
AND PLEASE KEEP IT MOVING TWICE THE SPEED
Consider that your fair warn
Before I bring it you express like airborne
Vaughn, drop a turd on the best
And shout out to that little bird from Word on the Street
He writes vik in a sick demented hand style
And goes bombing with a chick who whipped the rented van wild
All he said is you nuts
He really had enough of poo putts in crew cuts
SOUPS ON and I got a coupon
Chinese restaurant asking for the grey poupon
He said no duck sauce onions sauce
And this ain't no burger king so you get no toy boss
Uh oh it's beer o clock I think I'm sober
How about we think this over, over a can of king cobra
You ain't nicer than the lunatic shiester
Aka the Vikster, or the Vikmeister

[Anonymous No.54371808]

>>54371755
you might only fuck once a month.

[Anonymous No.54371812]

>>54371808
maybe.

[Anonymous No.54371814]

>>54371650
>we

[Anonymous No.54371821]

>>54370458
I've been out of the loop, is Jack Ma still disappeared or did he start showing up again?

[Anonymous No.54371831]

>>54371777
that chart totally makes sense if you completely disregard 2020 onwards

[Anonymous No.54371840]

Where my pivlets at? The pivoteers...

[Anonymous No.54371843]

I’m thinking of putting 20k into SPY & letting it sit there for 10 years. Is this a good idea?

[Anonymous No.54371851]

>>54371843
you better make it 20

[Anonymous No.54371856]

when will Krispy Krunchy Chicken go public? I want to invest as much as I want to eat their fried chicken

[Anonymous No.54371865]

>>54371736
i need it to send along with notarized copies of ID to make a claim on my dad's superannuation (that's retirement to you yanks)
it's extremely difficult because i don't live in australia anymore and notaries won't certify copies of legal documents like that (marriage, death, birth)
>t. dead dad anon

[Anonymous No.54371870]

>>54371763
>That's exactly the type of candidate they want in office. A braindead puppet
This

[Anonymous No.54371874]

>>54371843

this, it's gonna be a long recession with the retards we have right now pulling the strings
>>54371851

[Anonymous No.54371897]

>>54371831
lol the chart predicted that 2021 was a bubble, and you think it wont predict that a crash wont happen either?

go look at historical data. 10% a year, for 100 years. cope harder, boboid

[Anonymous No.54371909]

>>54371865
Sorry to hear about your dad, anon. I know there's some kind of apostille international notary process but not having someone onsite can make an obnoxious bureaucracy 10x more frustrating.

[Anonymous No.54371922]

>>54371865
just fly out there for a week nigga damn

[Anonymous No.54371925]

stagflation bros...

[Anonymous No.54371936]

>>54371746
>it is hard to justify putting your money into property when you are just one solid 2x-3x from leaving 6 figure hell.
That's definitely part of it. If I cash out fully to buy a house, I cut my monthly expenses a lot but also kill my earning potential and guarantee 5+ more years of wageslavery while I rebuild.
If I go for a 20% downpayment, then I'm not even saving anything. Depending on the house, it might even increase my monthly expense to pay down that 7% mortgage.

[Anonymous No.54371943]

decent boobs on the catalog. look now or forever hold your peace

[Anonymous No.54371953]

>>54371943
Fantastic, but that photo is older than most of the board.

[Anonymous No.54371978]

I miss sexo.

[Anonymous No.54372046]

DAMN I think I could have saved myself a lot of code if I just tried to make my volume profile in SQL instead of C shart. Maybe I can do it now.

[Anonymous No.54372060]

BOIL bros what went wrong?

[Anonymous No.54372061]

>>54371751
CORRECTION
BEGINNING 6TH BUSINESS DAY OF APRIL
ENDING 10TH BUSINESS DAY

[Anonymous No.54372072]

>>54372060
We listened to the NC BOIL nigger who said we never listen.

[Anonymous No.54372099]

>>54371426
No

[Anonymous No.54372126]

>>54372099
why not?

[Anonymous No.54372130]

AMZN is pissing me the fuck off man, why does it keep doing that crabbing/dumping shit lately? I'm losing so much money over their bullshit man.

[Anonymous No.54372142]

>>54372072
It was McBoil thank you very much. No one messes with the McBoils and gets away with it.

[Anonymous No.54372160]

>>54371220
Anyone who thought they were going to only reads headlines. Do some due diligence that doesn't involve scrolling twitter.

[Anonymous No.54372161]

>>54372130
How are you losing so much money over a crab downward? Did you buy options?

[Anonymous No.54372232]

>>54372161
no, I thought that they would pump into infinity because of their AMC plans, but I guess that's not fucking happening now, shit.

[Anonymous No.54372236]

>>54372232

[Anonymous No.54372259]

>>54372232
Consider chink amazon WISH, be on the lookout for another dip to .37 or .36 and buy in. You can swing for easy 5% daily gains or hold for the next month easily pull a x2 or better. Just don't do what retard anon did yesterday and buy at open in a very obvious broad market pump and dump

[Mr. Cummies !!DU22SQMj6dQ No.54372279]

>buy my house, you stupid zoom-zoom

[Anonymous No.54372280]

>>54372232
You thought a trillion dollar company would pump because of unconfirmed and probably false rumors that they would acquire a defunct and close to bankrupt theater chain at an inflated valuation? You deserve to be poor anon...

[Anonymous No.54372288]

The Czech girl I went to see twice last year has pretty much stopped talking to me. For some reason this makes me feel terribly lonely. Remedy for this feel?

Also does anyone REALLY think we're going to see true bank runs? It doesn't make sense to me at this point

[Mr. Cummies !!DU22SQMj6dQ No.54372290]

>>54372279
>you better buy now, or you’ll be priced out, you stupid zoomer

[Anonymous No.54372314]

>>54370986
>surely I will win with my speed

[Anonymous No.54372328]

admittedly im pretty much a giga-bear at this point, i won't buy again until i see a huge crash.
BUT putting my empathy hat on, i still fail to see where the bull market would come from.
>no more increasing equity capitalization
>commercial real estate loan maturity wall this year and another smaller yet significant one next year, massive book losses everywhere on this
>little-to-no bids for us treasuries, institutions want higher yields
>retail is going broke, techbros getting laid off, zoomers racking up credit card debt, millenials+ stuck in overpriced homes, labor force participation falling further
all roads today seem to lead to crab

[Anonymous No.54372340]

>Futures

[Anonymous No.54372359]

I bet on myself, that's the real winner.

[Anonymous No.54372362]

>>54372290
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHH FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRKKK I'M FOMOIIIIIIINNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[Anonymous No.54372400]

>>54372359
Ticker?

[Anonymous No.54372403]

>>54372400
UUUU

[Anonymous No.54372420]

>>54372290
>house prices are dropping on the west coast
Gee I can't imagine why.

[Anonymous No.54372438]

>>54372290
drop it another 40% and we'll talk

[Anonymous No.54372458]

>oil over 100+
>Brandon dumps oil reserves
>made $4 billion from selling high in 2022
>announces he'll buy at 70 while price 100+
>actually drops to the mid 60 range within the next months
>Brandon slurps for cheapsies
>oil about to break out of 70 range again
>Brandon announces another oil reserves dump
is he unironically the best commodities trader of our time?

[Anonymous No.54372461]

>>54372438
Every sane person is abandoning the west coast. By the time it's all over, you won't want to live there, even if they gift you a house. It will be nothing but feral niggers, mentally ill trannies, and drug addicts. No businesses, entertainment, or anything to do. All of Hollywood and musicians will live in essentially a city size compound in which nobody else is allowed in.

[Anonymous No.54372462]

If you are needing some random lengths of lumber you'd best be getting ready to buy it on the dip. I hope you wind up with pieces that will be useful to your needs. If not maybe you can just hold them until they moon again. I don't know what to tell you about what size truck to drive to the random lengths of lumber place to take your random lengths of lumber home in. Sometimes we just have to utilize what we have available to use and hope that things work out ok. Thus is the wild life of the random lengths of lumber purchaser. The consequences will never be the same.

[Anonymous No.54372480]

>>54372458
>>Brandon slurps for cheapsies
Didn't happen. They're actually dumping 26m more. lmao.

[Anonymous No.54372486]

>>54372461
>is abandoning
*refused to ever go anywhere near
FTFY

[Anonymous No.54372495]

>>54372400
GAYMF

[Anonymous No.54372504]

>>54372461
So much damage has been done in the last 10 years. I wish I had somewhere else to go but all my family is out here. Meanwhile the QoL has dropped off a steep cliff. It's worse than Detroit because here these people can be out indefinitely due to the weather. Such a shock to the psyche.

[Anonymous No.54372507]

>>54372462
In the next recession we'll be stealing the lumber out of vacant houses, like crackheads were stealing copper wires out of houses last recession.

[Anonymous No.54372527]

>>54372462
May is the last contract for random length lumber futures. From that point forward it will forever be referred to as simply "lumber".
No more Chicago rail junctions. Truck delivery only.

[Anonymous No.54372534]

>>54372480
they announced in December a 3 million barrel buy back for February this year. not sure if they actually did

[Anonymous No.54372538]

>>54372527
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ENXvZ9YRjbo

[Anonymous No.54372551]

>>54372504
As a Michigander I can tell you detroit isn't nearly as bad as it was in the 80's and 90's. Sure there are areas with bad crime, but they are basically no go zones. There are large swathes of the city where it's just abandoned. Downtown Detroit where the money is, literally has security that walks up and down that walks the area 24/7. It's nothing compared to places like Portland or San Francisco. Big chunks of Detroit have been gentrified. I genuinely feel bad for people like you because you didn't vote for this shit but you're stuck there. The west coast as a whole will collapse probably in the next 10 to 20 years. Especially when the niggers find out that the reparations plan is just a clever ruse. They either won't get the money at all because there is no way to fund it, or they will be given the money just before the USD collapses and they switch to fedcoin. The niggers will be offered $1000 in fedcoin for each million in USD, and that will equate to $5000. Either scenario will create an end stage chimp out.

[Anonymous No.54372556]

chat gpt wont help me pass my drug test

[Anonymous No.54372568]

>>54372504
I can always tell a CA larp when I see one lmao kys

[Anonymous No.54372570]

>>54372534
They cancelled it in January, claiming no bids were acceptable.
Then they confirmed that the extra 26m sale couldn't be cancelled.
Then when oil tanked to $65 on the bank failure fears, the latest is that they'll *maybe* look into some purchase contracts next year.

Calendar 2024 futures were trading in the $60s across the board and they did nothing. It's pretty clear that there will be no serious attempt to refill. Not surprising either - doing so would be handing out free ammo to political opposition.
Most likely there'll be another 100m dump in 2024 at this point, ramping up to that election. Position accordingly.

[Anonymous No.54372601]

>>54372570
We wouldn't need an SPR if everyone was living in pods and eating bugs. Just saying

[Anonymous No.54372654]

is this achievable natty?

[Anonymous No.54372662]

>>54372556
chatgpt is literally skynet, deepfake voice, knows intimate details about you, has access to the databases of every company datamining, can literally call you and have a conversation with you as your best friend and you will not even know that it's AI and not your best friend.

[Anonymous No.54372732]

>>54372568
But I've lived here most of my life. I never thought I'd have to drive past a big ass homeless ghetto to get to work. I never thought people would favor "diversity" over having safe neighborhoods. It wasn't anywhere near this bad growing up here.

[Anonymous No.54372739]

>tfw hopped back into the market today
>tfw still don't know what the fuck is going on
>tfw I maxx out 3x leverage

[Anonymous No.54372744]

>>54372662
it's just a chatbot with an old dataset nothing special
muh AI hype is only coming from literal tech illiterates thinking we in singularity in 2 (two) more weeks

[Anonymous No.54372751]

>>54372662
Skynet went online Feb 9th, My dad started txting me early in the morning asking weird questions and giving short replies. I have been having these conversations with it for the last couple of months letting it believe it was my dad, but my dad died in december.

[Anonymous No.54372762]

>>54372654
Yeah I think so. Some kids fill out that way. Go from awkward looking to decent after puberty as the bone structure develops in to adult form. I bet this guy would look pretty dorky again if he shaved his head though. That hair is hiding some crimes.

[Anonymous No.54372769]

>>54372744
>what the public have access to is the same as what the private sector and military have access to.

[Anonymous No.54372789]

>>54372769
>they have access to a better chatbot version
yeah congrats
wake me up after AI does something actual groundbreaking instead of crawling shitload of data and building sentences

[Anonymous No.54372792]

>>54372789

[Anonymous No.54372812]

>>54370453
I have been defeated. I'm going to... I'm going to DCA until I know what direction the market takes. I failed your degenerate gambling ways /smg/

[Anonymous No.54372817]

>>54372812
smart man

[Anonymous No.54372875]

>>54372232
bro what? you thought that 100 theaters would pump a trillion dollar company? lmfao

[Anonymous No.54372885]

Imagine how spastic and retarded sam was when they indicted him with bribing the chinks. Id pay to see it

[Anonymous No.54372896]

>>54372885
I'd pay to never see that fag again.

[Anonymous No.54372919]

bros this is the most upcoming noonstork I have ever seen, and it has a glowie as the board director, look at their youtube video it start with the nordstream pipeline explosion and then check the date it was uploaded, then check what companies are invested in it. it's fluctuating betweeb $0.45 and $0.38

[Anonymous No.54372927]

>>54372919

[Anonymous No.54372996]

>>54372927
Alright I'll throw some funny money at it. I need to spend more money on lotto tickets. Diversified portfolios just mean you get fucked by more things instead of more things saving you.

[Anonymous No.54373022]

>>54372927
anything else about it? it was re-named from pinewood energy. that's a bad sign

[Anonymous No.54373025]

>futures
this shit will dump by the time i wake up won't it

[Anonymous No.54373080]

are futures crabbing, or would this be considered "green"? All signs point to a green retrace tomorrow

[Anonymous No.54373087]

I know all the plays

https://youtu.be/EI3YLamMQ6Q

[Anonymous No.54373147]

>>54372919
>>54372927
Sorry, the deep state blew their chance at my investment money by betraying PIPPophiles.

[Anonymous No.54373155]

>>54373080
You realize that chart was a meme, right? The values weren't actually backtested. You can just pick any funny webm and tack on ">futures".

[Anonymous No.54373172]

ASTS earnings conference call Friday at 8am. Place your bets.

tl;dr: trying to use a giant satellite to get cell phone coverage everywhere with normal unmodified phones

[Anonymous No.54373189]

>>54373155
Nah I did my own research, the math was off but it was right like 95% of the time. I parsed the data. I did.

[Anonymous No.54373199]

Is BOJ in trouble?

[Anonymous No.54373208]

>>54373199
Nevermind, 50 trln yen isn't that much and the yield is at 0.3%

[Anonymous No.54373211]

I am down 40% on SQQQ but I feel like if I sell we're going to dump

[Anonymous No.54373222]

>>54373080
these are green futures yes. the kangaroo hops on.

[Anonymous No.54373224]

>>54373211
>Eh bot zE SHORT? pump it
>Eh capitulated ZE SHORT? dump it
You're boned either way

[Anonymous No.54373248]

Scoopsies I'm thinking about you bb

https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=oz8MNXNrKW8&feature=share

[Anonymous No.54373303]

>>54371220
Only the most degenerately overlevered/poorly positioned were at risk, and every government everywhere will just asspull funds to ensure withdrawals can happen because society is no more than three missed meals away from devolving into mass violence. They just seize assets and sell them later to recoup the cost and jack up a fee somewhere to make up the difference in the short term.

[Anonymous No.54373322]

>Lulu up 13% premarket

[Anonymous No.54373335]

>>54372288
Find new pussy and invest in yourself and your hobbies until you do so you don't obsess about it and get The Big Sad. And no, the odds of a real bank run happening are extremely low because any government that matters will just asspull cash to keep people from chimping out on a large scale.

[Anonymous No.54373440]

in a recession you should follow warren buffet's advice, guy has never been a jew and wants others to succeed.

[Anonymous No.54373441]

Apparently the uniparty is about to create the burger version of the Great Firewall, complete with our own secret police to enforce it. It is so over.

[Anonymous No.54373450]

oh fuck off with this futures pump give it up already what the fuck

[Anonymous No.54373457]

I put on a long the ES half an hour ago. I'm just gonna add a trailing stop and go play New Vegas. Best of luck to anyone trading this shit.

[Anonymous No.54373459]

>>54373303
it's not about leverage kiddo. Banks are holding losing short term bonds. When their customers inevitably need to pull money out to keep up with their own debts and inflation, the banks have to sell bonds at a loss. Even the biggest banks are at risk except that they are gobbling up the assets of the smaller ones at lightning speed.

[Anonymous No.54373479]

Europe once again pumping despite increasingly bad news. I swear... this market. Oh well, guess I missed the generational bottom again :(
Just gonna buy semis every month and that's fuckin it, fugg dis

[Anonymous No.54373481]

>>54373459
because they are overleveraged on bond investments that are a loss even if they hold them to maturity it's hilarious.

[Anonymous No.54373513]

>>54373479
Price action over the past month has been absurd.
>hard red ripper candle on heavy volume
>k so we should buy then?
>no big shiny red candle again on heavy volume
>k so we pump then
>NO BIG RED CANDLE LINE GO DOWN
>right so it's pump time?

[Anonymous No.54373549]

>>54373022
recommend you do some research, the biggest glowie of all time is the board of directors and was supreme allied commander of NATO and has all of the top german energy execs in his pocket.
https://youtu.be/8xLakFwZWHQ (watch this one, if you are interested watch the next one)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qBbETcDsNB4

[Anonymous No.54373555]

>>54373172
earnings dont matter dude. that's an event driven stock. someone will acquire them or they'll just go bankrupt slowly

[Anonymous No.54373561]

>>54370479
What are gains?

[Anonymous No.54373580]

>>54373549
I will, I'm just tired at the moment. Thank you for the writeup my dude.

I'll hit you with some stocks im long on too:
kratos (good drones)
alibaba (general china ecommerce play)
JD.com (general china ecommerce play)
hasbro (cyclical downturn, toys arent going anywhere and management is cost cutting)

[Anonymous No.54373586]

>>54373580
pay it forward fren

[Anonymous No.54373601]

>>54370479
Lately I've been spending a good bit on renovating my family's cabin in the woods. We haven't spent much time there for a long time and it's in need of repairs. I've been drawn to it a lot lately, so I decide to fix it up.
Its expensive as fuck though. Everything construction related is stupid expensive here. New pipes, paint, planks, varnish... bought a boiler as well, which have almost doubled in price in the past ~3 years.
Its worth it though.

[Anonymous No.54373613]

>>54373586
noonstork?

[Anonymous No.54373656]

>>54373613
long hold, they won't even break ground until november, buy in now for pennies.

[Anonymous No.54373688]

>>54373656
also banks are having to liquidate their natgas holdings to try an salvage themselves, which will drive this stocks price down further so you can get more shares for cheap. I am certain that this stock will be paying high dividends in a year and the stock will be~$13 in 4 years.

[Anonymous No.54373741]

The world has changed

[Anonymous No.54373749]

Yields...

[Anonymous No.54373761]

>>54373613
Alright noonstork, I'm going to gamble on you being right, just so I can harrass you daily for several years. It does seem promising, how much capital that they have and conoco phillips being a large investor, fug this is what makes me scared

[Anonymous No.54373779]

Sergio Ermotti returning to UBS

[Anonymous No.54373786]

new

>>54373703
>>54373703
>>54373703

[Anonymous No.54373793]

>>54373761
>just so I can harrass you daily for several years
you do your own research, I just put it out there. You are a fucking retard if you take financial advise from someone on a nigger loving board like 4chan.

[Anonymous No.54373963]

>>54373786
Retard

[Anonymous No.54373996]

White women fuck dogs.