Arguing with Women about money

[Anonymous No.53873254]

I constantly am getting into fights with my gf because she is so terrible with money. She comes from a very low income background and is uneducated past high school but she makes a decent amount of money in cash tips from her fine dining restaurant job. However all the money she earns she spends almost immediately on new clothes, doordash orders, drugs and alcohol etc. I keep trying to advise her to save and invest some of her money in literally anything she wants, but she always gets mad at me for doing it and says im being condescending. We don't live together and every month she struggles to make rent because she immediately spends whatever is in her account. The rest of the relationship is great but I don't want it to progress to where we move in together or something and I'm responsible for everything financially but I also don't want the relationship to end because I keep being annoying about money shit. What do? Incels need not respond.

[Anonymous No.53873310]

>>53873254
she sounds pretty stupid not gonna lie man. You want to reproduce with that?

[Anonymous No.53873319]

Financial reasons are the number one reason couples get in fights. Either be a big boy and show her the light or dump her, she will be a burden if she never changes.

t. Now wife that spent money frivolously 4 years ago before we met that now is focused on saving and investing in real estate. She makes more than me and now I’ve scooped up a fertile, higher income, devoted wife. Told me the other day to quit my job because of my happiness and that her income can sustain the both of us till I found a better environment.

[Anonymous No.53873329]

>>53873254
don't shack up with a retard, simple as

[Anonymous No.53873337]

Honestly its a redflag for getting serious with her, she isn't wife material as she can't manage a household and shows she has short future time awareness and will give you stupid and impulsive kids. Unless she is a 10/10 or you have more money than god and can trophy wife her she will just bring financial stress into your life and contribute to a potential divorce.

[Anonymous No.53873360]

>>53873254
>Being in a relationship with someone who does drugs

Yikes

[Anonymous No.53873362]

>>53873254
My wife sees me spend hours a week watching boring ass videos on finance and money. She has deferred all financial decisions. It means I do the taxes but it is better than what you deal with.

[Anonymous No.53873370]

>>53873310
>>53873329
most women i've met are similarly terrible with money, i just need advice on how to talk to her about financial responsibility without coming across as talking down to her and treating her like a child (which in reality she is financially speaking.) Like how do I get her to change her wasteful female nature?

[Anonymous No.53873372]

>>53873254

tl:dr

dump her

[Anonymous No.53873384]

>>53873254
Her being bad with money isn't necessarily a bad thing as long as you can help her learn how to manage it better. The fact that she spends a lot of money on drugs is bad though

[Anonymous No.53873387]

>>53873254
You gotta lay your mack down, big pimpin. Tell your bitch to give you 100% of everything she makes. And then you give her a little bit back to buy some clothes and wax her asshole or whatever. If she resists, slap the shit out of her and tell her to step. If you can't control her bad habits, she'll find somebody else that will.

[Anonymous No.53873408]

>>53873370
Its more the reaction she has too you that is the warning. Wagie men have the same kind of stupid impulsiveness.

The warning sign is she wants to fight you instead of saying anon ur good with money handle it for me ;3

[Anonymous No.53873420]

>>53873254
Idk man my wife is pretty bad about understanding finance but I manage the family finances anyways, works out fine. Your girl doesn't sound bright at all tho.

[Anonymous No.53873460]

>>53873254

A majority of divorces happen due to money so marrying a woman that you already cannot agree with about money is doomed to fail.

t. oldfag

[Anonymous No.53873473]

>>53873408
>The warning sign is she wants to fight you instead of saying anon ur good with money handle it for me ;3

Exactly this. Either you have communication issues or she won't submit to you or something.

[Anonymous No.53873483]

>>53873254
Hmmm...she makes money now in her job because I presume she's young and most likely pretty, but that will end once she amrries you and have kids. Say you marry her. She'll quit her job. You'll be the breadwinner of the house. Raising kids is really expensive. Diapers cost a lot of money. You'll be doing that for 6-10 years depending of how many kids you want to have with her. Money will always be an issue if it already bothers you now that you don't even live together. You yourself admit you're annoying about money. Plus, you'll be all day in your work while she, being uneducated and all, be in charge to raise your kids. Your kids may end up growing as complete retards, probably watching retarded shit like cocomelon or barney the dinosaur until they are 6 years old or so, ruining the best years to mold their personalities/knowledge for good. Do you really want all that? Think hard. The only positive good aspect about your GF according to your post is she makes a decent amount of money, although you also say the relationship is great. If you can't tolerate her spending now, you won't be doing it when you both get married

[Anonymous No.53873494]

>>53873473
Its not even submitting, most women are lazy and like offshoring work to their male partner. She doesn't trust him enough to let him do work for her.

[Anonymous No.53873499]

>>53873370
You cant change a person no matter how hard you try. I'm on the same boat with my gf. She smokes weed EVERYDAY, terrible with money, and cares little about her health and I used to argue with her about it. Accept that she is retarded like most women and this is not the person you want to end up with. I'm sticking with mine for now, for sex convenience.

[Anonymous No.53873520]

>>53873494

No it is about submitting. If a woman isn't submissive then you are and women don't respect submissive men.

[Anonymous No.53873522]

>>53873483
This. She sounds like a retard who is unfit to raise your future children

[Anonymous No.53873541]

>>53873473
So how do I get her to submit? Do i just stop being nice and trying to be helpful and just start telling her what to do? Do I literally hold her hand while she sets up a retirement account? Do I demand she gives me her banking password and check her account daily to track her spending so she has enough for rent on the 1st? Do I just pimp slap that bitch?

[Anonymous No.53873545]

You guys are also not expecting enough from women, a lot of wealthy doctors that aren't house and car poor have their wives managing their finances because they have the time he doesn't.

[Anonymous No.53873606]

>>53873499
Yeah this is the situation I'm in I guess. Everyone replying is sperging about "she won't be a good mother, she's not fit to raise your kids!" which I guess is true but I'm not really looking to have kids anytime soon I just like my cute, sex nympho gf and want to help her be set up for her future even if its not our future and I end up dumping her for a more educated and financially savvy but boring future wife.

[Anonymous No.53873776]

>>53873499

Sounds like she's going to be a 400 pound hambeast in a few years. You might want to hit eject before you knock her up.

[Anonymous No.53873793]

>>53873254
The biggest difference between rich people and poor people is how they spend their money. If you give a million dollars to a rich person, he will invest that into assets and properties that make money. He will then live off the accruals of that investment and live a comfortable lifestyle while never losing money.

Give a million dollars to a poor person, and she will immediately spend it on stupid bullshit that loses its value instantaneously. The money will dwindle until it finally disappears. She will have never learned anything from the experience and will likely blame "society" for what happened.

[Anonymous No.53873824]

>>53873606

Do you want to have constant fights and unstable finances because she spent all your money?

[Anonymous No.53873830]

>>53873793
My point is, more money won't solve the problem she has. If she makes more, her spending will match or exceed her income. If you make more, she will expect you to spend more on her.

[Anonymous No.53873895]

>>53873254
>I don't want it to progress to where we move in together or something and I'm responsible for everything financially
You should be responsible for finances. Tell her a condition of moving in together is you coming up with a budget together and her sticking to it. Point out that your future children will pick up all their parents' habits, good and bad. Does she want them to struggle financially too?

[Anonymous No.53873896]

>>53873824
Of course not that's why I'm asking for advice on how to get her to change, I'm sure it's possible but I just haven't had any luck in doing so to this point. I'm still going to try my best and work through this issue the next few months but if it continues the relationship will surely end and that will suck because she's really hot and fun. She's a 9.5/10 to me she's exactly my type and personality wise we get along perfectly when talking about anything but money. I feel like it's easier to make a hot girl smart than to take a smart girl and make her hot.

[Anonymous No.53873900]

>>53873254
All women are stupid or substandard in some way. It just is up to you in what areas the deficiency is or how much deficiency you're willing to accept. Money is a big one, but there's definitely worse out there. As a man you are responsible for fixing all deficiencies either by taking 100% control or educating her.

[Anonymous No.53873904]

>>53873387
The other day one my girls said,"Daddy it's raining so bad out here I want to go home" so I said what any real mack would in my position. I said "Bitch you better walk between the rain before my hand has to connect up up with horse face you call a money maker ... I love you bitch you know that now keep stepping."

[Anonymous No.53873907]

>>53873329
fucking this. No matter how big her tits are

[Anonymous No.53873915]

>>53873896
Does she actually want to get better at money?
Just tell her to have her pay check divided in two, one portion covers bills, and the second account linked to her debit does everything else.
And show her a retirement calculator showing her if she contributes now she will be a millionaire.,

[Anonymous No.53873920]

>>53873896

>I can fix her

Enjoy the pain.

[Anonymous No.53873993]

>>53873915
Yeah she asked me one time about investing and how it worked so I explained to her investing basics and told her what I invest in. She said she was interested in setting something up but she never has enough to get stared because she lives paycheck to paycheck and I can't get her to stop her bad spending habits because every time I criticize her for ordering doordash for no reason or whatever she gets mad. She obviously knows she's being stupid when she does that shit but just gets defensive about it.

I'm going to do what you say and like physically force her to set up a retirement account and an allotment from her paycheck into that account, and present her with a retirement calculator so she can see how much she will make every year saving instead of spending.

[Anonymous No.53874010]

>>53873993
I wouldn't say force her, just get her to get her deposit split in two to start, her bills are covered by one and the rest is fun money

[Anonymous No.53874047]

>>53873254
>all the money she earns she spends almost immediately on new clothes, doordash orders, drugs and alcohol etc
>drugs and alcohol
I don’t know how you can argue with her without being condescending. Is she depressed or does she have mental health problems? Buying drugs and alcohol rather than paying rent? I’m not sure you can salvage this without outside help

[Anonymous No.53874052]

>>53873254
kys

[Anonymous No.53874099]

>>53874047
The drugs and alcohol isn't really the problem in itself, I smoke weed too and drink a lot. It's mostly her friends fault, she goes out with the girls like once a week and they all spend like retards. I feel like she gets peer-pressured into going out and wasting money by her even stupider friends when she knows she needs the money for rent instead. But again if I tell her to stop going out with her friends she will not listen and get angry at me.

[Anonymous No.53874337]

>>53873370
There's no talking to her. Women don't think logically with resources/money because they haven't evolved to do so. They're niggers when it comes to long term planning because they evolved to extract resources from men via pussy. All they know is chasing what feels good for the moment.

DO NOT move in with this chick. And frankly dump her. The fact that she gets angry at you for trying to help shows she doesn't respect you. If you ever merge finances, get married, have kids, etc. you're going to get fucked over. Women don't love men. However they can respect men.

The fact that she is a waitress and does drugs are massive red flags. Women are nearly universally bad with money but the biggest issue is her lack of respect + drug use + job. All drug-using women are whores, no exceptions. Anyone who thinks they just shell out money all the time for drugs without trying to use their bodies for free shit is naive.

[Anonymous No.53874403]

>>53874099
Yeah, I see. If that’s the way she wants to live right now, maybe there’s not much you can do... just be clear and honest about what you want from her. If her priorities don’t change, then maybe you should re-evalute the whole relationship

[Anonymous No.53874589]

>>53873254
>chick bad with money
>fights
get the fuck away from her anon.

[Anonymous No.53874629]

There's typically two ways to sink the conversation about money quickly. The first is to jump into more complex topics(stocks, bonds, etc) too fast and the second is belittle or demonize her spending categories. I find the best way to broach this, is to stick to the 50/30/20 rule. 50% goes to life necessities - rent, bills, car, groceries. 30% is spending, whatever she wants. She love clothes and shopping? 15% to each category. 20% savings. This can be an IRA, SEP IRA. To get girls started in developing an interest in savings, I recommend having her get acorns. There's a gay monthly fee now but this is going to automate chump change going into an investment account. It's really easy, she doesn't have to do anything other than look. Set a very low auto-deposit, I mean like $20.00. This is something she can watch grow slowly. The UI is very user-friendly/approachable. These accounts can be set to aggressive or safe portfolio, but either way, because she's auto-deposited in a couple months she may be surprised what small deposits can add up to.

If she doesn't, she could try using a bank account like Ally that allows you to have "buckets" aka folder that you can divide accounts into. They do this for checking now too, so she could have her paychecks or deposit split into Life Needs folder, spending folder(which can be divided into food, clothes, vacation) and then a savings folder - this savings can become a big dump deposit into Acorns or Robhinhood later(yes, I know, fuck Robinhood, but again...user friendly is needed for babies).

I don't know if she likes books, but "I will teach you to be rich" by rami sethi covers fundamental, practical spending and finance advice that's easily digestible and entertaining. (1/2 - I type bibles)

[Anonymous No.53874694]

>>53873254
>>53874099

Holy fuck, OP.

I can see you’re a young guy (at least I fucking hope you are), so a few points from a 39 year old boomer:

1) Her getting upset over you trying to help her is a shit test. She likes partying and being dumb with money because she’s young and dumb. Her getting upset with you is the equivalent of her being mad at daddy (assuming she had any relationship with him) for laying down the law. Women will bitch about being treated like children, but at the same expect to be treated like children by a man she respects enough to lead her. It’s confusing, I know. You just have to pretend like her opinion matters, they like feeling like you’re listening to them. Express your concerns, give her a solution, give her a boundary, listen to her. If she just wants to keep on the same path: dump her.

2) You can keep her around for sex, but don’t be exclusive with a woman like that. You know she’s kind of shit and has bad future prospects, so don’t limit yours by being exclusive with this woman whose only skill is dick charming. Sure she’s pretty now, but that shit fades man. She’ll be a roastie waitress with a drug habit and no money in a decade at this rate. Will you still stick around then?

3) Do not under any circumstances move in with this woman. Any problems now will only amplify when you have to cover her share of the rent, and now you’re stuck in a lease with shit to move out on a moment’s notice. Not a good spot to be in.

4) Quit it with the weed use. It makes you passive and stupid. At least cut back significantly.

5) Are her party friends vapid whores? Her closest circle of friends too? I’ve got news for you OP: she is too. Birds of a feather and all that.

Good luck OP, I’m pulling for you.

[Anonymous No.53874769]

>>53874629
2/2

She's stuck in a paycheck to paycheck cycle, and there may be a major fight in your relationship if you're giving her any money to cover herself(you shouldn't). And I've seen this happen both ways...girlfriend who co-sign a loan to cover a credit card debt or send $200 for rent money...it's like being a parent and not a partner. The wealthiest married couple in my direct friend group bicker about money constantly. Not because they don't have it, but husband pays all major living costs, which leaves well-salaried wife to go ballistic on her credit card with frivolous monthly "matienance" shit like hair, nails, eyebrow tattooing, eyelash extensions, cheap plan tickets to go see family. They can absolutely afford their lifestyle but when an appliance breaks, or they need a new car, they start going for the other's throat about saving money. They both need to sit down and understand what's being spent where. They have separate accounts, which I advocate for regardless, but they both blow money on stupid shit(like landscaping...?) and then complain to the other about picking up more shifts/working more to cover unexpected expenses.

It's just something you need to be willing to take a hard stance on until she can handle her finances, which, could potentially be never. And again, she can blame her friends all she wants, no one is making her do it. It's all her. If she wanted the help, she'd ask for it, but most women are completely fine being financial trainwrecks.

[Anonymous No.53874798]

My wife is from a poor family but her family taught frugality religiously

I do not know how you screen for which type of person you're getting, it seems like a hindsight kind of thing

[Anonymous No.53875236]

>>53874099
Protip: unless you change her friends she'll never change

You're one person, you can't override her friends' nagging.

[Anonymous No.53875604]

>>53873254
dump that hoe
you will have a miserable life if you marry her as she won't let you let your money compound so you can live comfortably
zero time preference it sounds like...
> doesn't want advice from incels
if youre not an incel you can get another one.
congrats on the practice gf

[Anonymous No.53875917]

>>53873370
>>53873254
My mother was the responsible one with money despite my father making a lot of cash.
There is always one handling the budget in a couple, I would say as long as you don't enable her by paying for her shit or rescuing her on rent payments it's fine.
The day you live together however you should make everything clear starting from the first day otherwise it's not going to end well.

[Anonymous No.53875955]

>>53873254
>She comes from a very low income background and is uneducated past high school but she makes a decent amount of money in cash tips from her fine dining restaurant job. However all the money she earns she spends almost immediately on new clothes, doordash orders, drugs and alcohol etc.

Get a new gf, been here myself , it never gets better.

[Anonymous No.53877919]

>>53873254
what does she do around the house? does she contribute? (grocery shopping, taking out the trash, cleaning?)

[Anonymous No.53878252]

>>53873370
The reason she is guilting you into talking down to her isn’t because you’re doing it, but it’s because she lacks the overall emotional intelligence and accountability to realize it’s her fault she’s in the poor financial situation that she is in. If she’s like that with money, she’s probably. Like that with other stuff as well.

It’s rare that people flip from spenders to savers, unless they out of nowhere get into Dave Ramsey or something similar like it’s an MLM. Give it a try but as others said dump this girl. Warren buffet once said your spouse is just as important to building wealth as your career.

You can make all the money in the world. You can’t out earn a spender woman. You just can’t. She will make your life hell buddy. And the fact she has a shit tier job is worse. She spends and is low income. At least expensive taste professionals can manager their own addictions

Your spouse should add to the pot. You can still be the bread winner but their existence shouldn’t be eating at your net worth.

[Anonymous No.53878269]

>Drugs
>Alcohol
>Still in a relationship with her and wants to have kids

I hate normies so much it's unreal.
Stay with her, you two NPCs deserve each other.

[Anonymous No.53878312]

>>53874694
Fellow wise 30+ year old boomer trying to save this young cub. Absolutely LOLd at “her friends are the issue, not her”. She is her friend OP. Drugs , spending, shit job, if you’re 22 whatever, but by 25 that’s pathetic lifestyle and by 30 that’s a god damn train wreck

The fact you’re asking these questions means you got a head attached to your shoulders. Girls like this are incapable of looking to the future, and in my experience those people don’t change

[Anonymous No.53878362]

>>53874798
Lol screening for a girls financial acumen is easy as fuck.

1. What’s her job? Is it low paying wagie trash with no future (retail, bartender, etc). Corporate cuck job (marketing, accounting), or high paid professional slave (doctor, banker, etc). From here you can estimate her earnings

2. What’s her spending habits? What kind of place does she live in? Car does she drive? Clothes? Is she materialistic, talking about jewelry, shopping all the time, etc etc. some people need to tie their self esteem to brands, again easy to spot. You can estimate expenses

3. Take the top 2 and you can guess if they have a decent lifestyle margin. Now just run a quick question by her on index funds, stocks, 401k, etc. is she clueless? Or has some degree of understanding?

Without ever seeing their numbers I can easily tell you which friends, family members, and friends wives/girlfriends all are good with money or are shit

[Anonymous No.53878430]

>>53873254
I married an accountant and she actually criticizes my purchases and investments. Trust me the grass isn't greener flipped around.