you're in a locked room with him

[Anonymous No.53706245]

he talks about CCIP and some other new gravel buzzword and you hear a slight movement in his belly, you're now 100% certain he's about to release his noxious fumes.
If you attack him, a smart contract is ready to dump millions of chainlinks at market and drive the price to 0.
If you don't do anything, you will die because of the poisonous flatulence coming from this fat fuck.
What do you do?

[Anonymous No.53706260]

>>53706245
I try to reason with him. What does he say?

[Anonymous No.53706293]

>>53706245
I'm literally McGyver I just grab my lighter and we burn off the farts in a controlled way.
we both survive, the LINKs dont get dumped and we engineer assassination smart contracts that hunt down the porn addicted LINK fudders.

[Anonymous No.53706303]

>>53706260
You realize he's not paying attention, he keeps blabbering buzzwords and staring at something behind you while small bubbles pass through his fat, slowly forming a bigger one

[Anonymous No.53706311]

>>53706303
Ok I find the nearest exit and run for it

[Anonymous No.53706324]

>>53706245
I once shared a coworking space with him. Never spoke. AMA

[Anonymous No.53706345]

>>53706293
You point your lighter, a giant fart comes, you find your arm burning, you scream, the pain and the smell are inconceivable, and somehow you realize that it wasn't just gas that came out of his but, but some kind of flammable plasma, you die amidst terrible suffering, it's over

[Anonymous No.53706359]

>>53706311
You find the door, try to open it, a menu appears and says "you need a lockplick for that", Link dumps -4%

[Anonymous No.53706451]

>>53706345
this aint what happened, I made it.

[Anonymous No.53706498]

>>53706245
Was doing a competitive analysis on crypto websites yesterday and Chainlink Labs is a joke. Over focus on hiring. Bullshit buzzwords and half of the front page was the "team". The what does it do was in the form of a bunch of long documents. Can't even have a high level summary. The fuck do they even do over there.

[Anonymous No.53706562]

I throw him bag of big macs to try to bribe him.

[Anonymous No.53706649]

>>53706562
the bubble stops, he looks at the big macs and start eating them in a voracious and disgusting way.
He asks "do you hold Link?"

[Anonymous No.53706703]

>>53706649
Yes, I hold them on my hardware wallet.

[Anonymous No.53706801]

>>53706703
He shows you a screen, you realize it's a chainlink wallet, he starts waving his hand in the air: "you know, i always loved linkies, linkies are maybe my best creation after chainlink"
Every time he says link or chain, the wallet dumps 700k tokens.
"See, there can't be a LINK, without a CHAIN, and CHAINS are nothing without a LINK"
The dumps gets faster, the room gets dark and a red light starts flashing
A speaker says: "CAUTION - THE TOKEN IS DUMPING TOO FAST, PLEASE CALM SERGEY" but he keeps waving his hand and screaming "CHAIN... LINK... CHAIN... LINK"

[Anonymous No.53706894]

>>53706801
I show him this picture and ask him if he remembers smartcontract.com.

[Anonymous No.53709268]

>>53706245
Tell biz to short LINK and kill the bastard, what else? Dead or alive this fat fuck will release the fumes

[Anonymous No.53710385]

>>53706245
I cast "fart in sergeys" mouth. Anything other than dubs is instant death for me. Trips he enjoys it and dumps anyways.

[Anonymous No.53710486]

>>53710385
You move quickly and unzip your pants, you jump and target Sergay mouth.
Too late, he notices and dodges your flying butt, so you collapse on the floor, when you open your eyes you realize that you're facing Sergay giant fat arse.
A green flanneled fume starts getting out and surrounds you.
It's over, sorry

[Anonymous No.53710510]

the absolute state of headcanon itt

[Anonymous No.53711072]

>>53706293
do you really trust a man that is too lazy to take care of his own body? I literally will not do business with fat people it's not a good look. This goes for anything not just link.

[Anonymous No.53711199]

Wheres my money you fat scammer

[Anonymous No.53711246]

>>53706894
show him the one his mom posted with the hotel bill