/biz/ - Business & Finance

[Anonymous No.30358703]

>be me
>work this week started off with almost no work
>weekday nights were particularly wasted and lacked energy or aims
>wake up at 8.45 am on Friday
>start work
>work
>finish work
>lie in bed and browse internet on phone
>sleep for over 2 hours until 11 pm
>watch most of an episode of a TV show I really I liked many years ago but which now feels dated in a 00s way
>waste more time online, sleep
>wake up on Saturday morning
>play an extremely acclaimed modern game; enjoy exploring its world but always feel very empty after playing it
>go jogging
>eat food; have the last bit of junk food left (crisps)
>waste time online
>go driving outside
>go for a short walk that feels pointless
>now browsing internet in car while drinking Costa coffee
>plan to buy junk food, go home, browse internet, play more vidya, read in bed, then sleep

My internet timewasting has become particularly mindless: the minutiae of politics and even some mindless YouTube (I mostly agree with the last psychiatrist's quote: If you're watching it, it's for you).

I am drifting in unspooked nihilism. Even saying nihilism makes it sound too spooky. I started a game that everyone considers to be bad and hard and I got bored after a few hours but then wanted to play it to stop the feeling of failure from giving up. Similarly with a book I consider overwritten and easily summarisable.

I watched some tech YouTubers in the past few days. Americans are gods. They earn over $200k starting salaries in tech companies. It's quite incredible how every Asian American (or really rich Asian in America) on YouTube is very successful in the conventional career track. Some of it is brazenly prestige obsessed but I admire their mentality. I also search for '[Ivy League school] vlog' and feel sad at their idyllic lives.

I have a lot more savings that I did 1 year ago. Feels relaxing to have a lot more more than 0.6x my monthly salary in the bank.

Hopefully I'll start doing anything at all soon.

[Anonymous No.30358821]

>play an extremely acclaimed modern game
That's your first problem
>play a game
That's your second problem

[Anonymous No.30359008]

>>30358703
>0.6x my monthly salary in the bank
I always imagined you were at least rich londonfrog
pathetic

[Anonymous No.30359054]

do something with your life https://streamable.com/dl8n7h