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/biz/ - Business & Finance

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29819868 No.29819868 [Reply] [Original]

I have a years outdated resume, zero references, zero relevant work experience, and have been unemployed for two years, but I have a double major BS in Business and in Marketing.

How do I find a job?

>> No.29819973
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29819973

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>> No.29820113

I lied to my university about doing an internship at a tech company, and they even called my reference (a neighbor, who I grew up with). Lie and say you travelled. Research some areas that interest you that when talking about it, it flows naturally.

But also get reacquainted with some software that you’re familiar with and know that you’re going to use.

I don’t blame you for working.

>> No.29820137

>>29820113
*for not working

>> No.29821058

Lie anon. Set up 2 fake websites with businesses on them, couple google numbers. Tell them you were vp of bullshit at tech widgets.com.
You can even hire an answering service and have the secretary put them on hold. Go get em tiger.

>> No.29821172

>Make up fictional business name
>Put it on your resume with yourself in a position there for that past year
>reference number could just be a friend or family member that is in on the jig to pretend they’re boss and give a good recommendation on your behalf

>> No.29821224

>>29819868
>I have a years outdated resume, zero references, zero relevant work experience, and have been unemployed for two years
this but STEM degree, i've given up.
you need a job to get a job and any gap on your resume gets you thrown in the trash b/c there are 900 other resumes sitting on the hiring manager's desk.

>> No.29821313

>>29819868
Just lie and show up in a suit and tie. Follow what previous anons have said. Think of an interview like selling a car. It’s not about what’s on paper, it’s about “selling the dream” so to speak. Lie, cheat and scam your way up the ladder, like I have too.

>> No.29821371

>>29821313
>Just lie and show up in a suit and tie.
Well if you're applying for a six figure job and your suit and shirt don't fit and they look like you bought them off the rack you're NGMI, it'll work for an office job bro.

>> No.29821474

>>29821371
I thought suit and tie for an interview was considered old-fashion.

I was just going to go with dress shirt, khakis, and tie.