/biz/ - Business & Finance

[Anonymous No.24849721]

>no company xmas party this year (thank god)
>CFO gives us $25 gift card to make up for this
>gift card is to a corporate gift shop: www.chooseyourgift.com
>login to gift shop with gift card ID + PIN
>most gifts are dollar store chink shit
>dollar store jewelry, chinese screwdriver sets, chinese kitchen utensils
>weird shit like propeller guards to a DJI brand drone (but not the drone itself)
>weird shit like a 1/4" npt quick disconnect coupler (like for an air compressor, what in the fuck)
>log out in disgust/disbelief
>try to log back in, to show my gf how badly they jewed us
>gift card ID + PIN were one time use
>can't even log into it again
>website didn't even save my session through cookies
>MERRY CHRISTMAS, GOYIM!

[Anonymous No.24849735]

>>24849721
audible kek

[Anonymous No.24849762]

kek the goy slave treatment

[Anonymous No.24849795]

>>24849721
What do you expect it's fucking 25 dollars
Should have gotten kitchen utensils

[Anonymous No.24849806]

>>24849721
hope you liked you gift wagie. don't forget to thank mr shekelstein when you see him!

[Anonymous No.24849810]

>>24849721
oh fuck the login code works again

[Anonymous No.24849831]

>>24849795

[Anonymous No.24849837]

>>24849810
What a bunch of trash

[Anonymous No.24849846]

>>24849810
which one of the amazing gifts are you going to choose, wagie?

[Anonymous No.24849862]

>>24849806

[Anonymous No.24849868]

>>24849810
Food scale or can opener.

[Anonymous No.24849876]

>>24849831
>>24849862
get some knifes I guess. What a bunch of hot garbage though topkek

[Anonymous No.24849883]

>>24849846
i'm thinking the BOSTITCH UNIVERSAL 1/4" SERIES COUPLER and a PAIR OF FREEZER GOBLETS.

[Anonymous No.24849900]

>>24849831
Stainless steel bowl are cool, knives are probably shit, pealer and board might be good
There are some good choices here but the bowls are a standout

[Anonymous No.24849918]

>>24849831
5 pc knife set

Hilarious thread

[Anonymous No.24849922]

>>24849721
>>24849810
>>24849831
>>24849862
>>24849883
Trash.
Get the knives and hope they aren't shit quality (they probably are).

[Anonymous No.24849926]

>>24849900
maybe some WEBER (TM) BRAND MEAT RUBS?

[Anonymous No.24849934]

>>24849795
Nigga those utensils probably have lead and cadmium in them

[Anonymous No.24849947]

>>24849883
fucking kek. we need more biz greentexts. i haven't read good ones in months

[Anonymous No.24849958]

Get the knife sharpener, those knives will be unusable in a week anyway

[Anonymous No.24849971]

>>24849934
disappointed they don't have a heavy metals test kit. but they do have a FIRE SENTRY SMOKE ALARM if i want to trust my life to likely counterfeit smoke detector from a corporate gift shop!

[Anonymous No.24849988]

Get the box cutter take it to work and make the CFO pay for his crimes

[Anonymous No.24850005]

this thread holy kek

[Anonymous No.24850007]

>>24849926
Is this murrican? Are these good? If so get them rubs are always cool
>>24849934
Extra flavour

[Anonymous No.24850019]

>>24849988
the funniest part of this is that we aren't a mom and pop business trying to cut costs through abject jewery. this is a $1-5 billion revenue publicly traded company.

>implying it's a male CFO

[Anonymous No.24850024]

>>24849831

The steel bowls look alright. You can store your lunch bugs in them.

[Anonymous No.24850041]

>>24849721
you can't make this shit up

[Anonymous No.24850059]

For me, it’s the Pair of Freezer Goblets.

[Anonymous No.24850068]

maybe i'll get my gf some of the finest jewelry in all of corporate america's gift shops

[Anonymous No.24850081]

>>24850019
honestly anon i would get a binocular or the stainless steel bowls

[Anonymous No.24850082]

>>24850068
Dazzle stick
Is this some vodoo shit

[Anonymous No.24850083]

>>24850041
i told my gf i would have unironically preferred jelly of the month club

[Anonymous No.24850090]

>>24850019
>implying it's a male cfo
Oh nonononononono hahahahahahhaa
Why the fuck are you working there?

[Anonymous No.24850140]

>>24849971
1. buy smoke detector
2. install smoke tetector
3 Jewish lightning
4 sue sue sue

[Anonymous No.24850154]

Lol same except I actually had some pretty cool gifts for what they were. All under 100 bucks sure but good variety of stuff. I wound up getting a tv sound bar. My logic was I might as well get something I may use but not something I'm dying to buy. Massive improvement too over my shitty tv speakers.

I'm not even that mad now.

[Anonymous No.24850167]

Kek my employer gave out 50$ amazon gift cards, I'll take it

[Anonymous No.24850173]

>>24849831
Steak knives or the food prep container could be useful. I would get the steak knives because you don't need those to be high quality.

[Anonymous No.24850198]

>>24850081
>honestly anon i would get a binocular

It's just the binocular case though.

[Anonymous No.24850200]

>>24850019
tell us the name of the company. kek

[Anonymous No.24850234]

>>24850068
The dolphin one is cute, gurls love cute dolphins

[Anonymous No.24850282]

>>24850198
just searched for a binocular flask
it's the shape of a binocular and you can store liquid in it
maybe you can use it to smuggle alchol to music festivals kek

[Anonymous No.24850292]

>>24850198
it's a drinking flask shaped like binoculars

[Anonymous No.24850312]

>>24850234
>12 SUPER BRIGHT LED'S

[Anonymous No.24850362]

>>24849721
hahahahaha

[Anonymous No.24850368]

>>24849971
>padlock for a single key
wtf

[Anonymous No.24850392]

>>24849721
count yourself lucky there's no xmas party for you this year. I'm 2 minutes into my company xmas party (taking place on zoom) and we've already been asked to "reflect on the importance of BLM". I can't leave this "party" for at least 4 hours!

[Anonymous No.24850404]

>>24850312
Put family picture frame on desk for ultimate wagie boomer experience ticking down the seconds of your existence

[Anonymous No.24850510]

>>24849831
Buy the knives and kill your boss with them.
Make sure he knows he's being killed with knives bought with the gift card

[Anonymous No.24850511]

>>24849721
Lol how do /they/ keep getting away with this

[Anonymous No.24850536]

>>24849926
I think weber has a beer can chicken seasoning that is pretty great

[Anonymous No.24850684]

My company sent everyone some decent bluetooth speakers but I'm away from my apartment working remotely and visiting family and I live in a city and my apartment only has a small mail slot so there's a 100% chance the package got stolen. I usually get my packages delivered to the post office but since the company wanted to surprise us they just sent them to our home address. Merry Christmas!

[Anonymous No.24850830]

>>24850392
lmao
I'd suggest a weekly virtual kneeling for niggers session throughout the next year to properly manifest the cuck mentality

[Anonymous No.24851079]

>>24850830
my company made us do mandatory diversity sensitivity training. the global head of HR bitched at us because 40% of the company hadn't completed it as of last month.

[Anonymous No.24851149]

kek. It looks like a shipping container full of plastic hoarder tier garbage washed ashore in Malaysia and that’s what these gifts are

[Anonymous No.24851178]

For kicks and shits I'll post what my company offered.

[Anonymous No.24851203]

Miring the big connect 4

[Anonymous No.24851219]

>>24851203

[Anonymous No.24851240]

Last one. I kind of want the pasta machine.

[Anonymous No.24851278]

>>24851240
outdoor chair is patrician tier

[Anonymous No.24851328]

>>24851240
Oh wait I lied there is one more

[Anonymous No.24851348]

Fuck. Last one for real.

[Anonymous No.24851379]

Holy shit. This thread is amazing, my jobs Christmas party are cocaine, boozed fueled orgies at a bar that the owners use. Missed them every year because I knew how fucking wild they got and I always had to work the next day, this year I took off specifically and have been chatting away with one of the 30 something roasties that works front desk and she was already hinting she was not bringing her husband and was flirting nonstop since this happened, plus there’s this cute just turned 18 year old girl that has never had a drink in her life and just broke up with her boyfriend since she was 12 and now because of the coof I will not get to fuck or score with any of them because the Christmas party is cancelled and now because of covid restrictions they may shut down the entire establishment to begin with (I’m a massage therapist) fuck this gay work and fuck this gay earth. I just wanna make out with hot 30 year old roastie and #metoo prime barely legal ass.

[Anonymous No.24851380]

>>24851278
Maybe. But it's all about the giant connect 4. Look at how much fun they are having.

[Anonymous No.24851452]

>>24849883
you've got good taste anon, I woulda gone for the freezer goblets myself. they're probably plastic but fuckit, it'll keep my big sipp cold heh

[Anonymous No.24851512]

thankful to god for this thread

[Anonymous No.24851524]

You're lucky anon. We got a castrated Union for Christmas. The department used covid as an excuse to push our yearly contractual raise out to 2022. Our union will have been grieving our raise for nearly 2 years now.

[Anonymous No.24851801]

>>24851380
I am sold, that thing is boss

[Anonymous No.24851888]

>>24849810
>cup
>with car wire

[Anonymous No.24852231]

>>24850007
You don't ever want to eat anything made by a grill manufacturer becuase it's probable 50% ground up components that didn't make the cut.

[Anonymous No.24852370]

>>24850684
Oh hey, Anon- turns out those gifts were sent out by mistake. If you don't mind mailing it back that would be great or we can just dock your pay. Thanks!

[Anonymous No.24852433]

>>24849831
Buy the crystal wine stopper.
That be a good butt plug for you since you are a wagiecuck

[Anonymous No.24852454]

>>24851178
Thesyrbde noTTTTTTTThinxg wrronkg wiiith annnyof tht stuuuuf
-Sent from my MatrixPad S7

[Anonymous No.24852538]

>>24851379
you have to go back

[Anonymous No.24852639]

Send your girl my way, I’ll show her how bad the website is.

[Anonymous No.24852686]

>>24849721
Anybody notice how this incredoble thread got posted and almost immediately btc hit a new ATH? You did a good job OP, take this gift card as a tpken of my appreciation.

[Anonymous No.24853142]

>>24851348
Cornhole is based

[Anonymous No.24853237]

>>24849810

i vote for the food scale - so many applications

[Anonymous No.24853388]

>>24849883
When you make it anon, Invite your boss over, show him your nice new house and car
and then serve them wine
the best wine
in a freezer goblet

[Anonymous No.24853487]

>>24849926
Fuck it I mean how bad could a jar of spices be kek. If it ends up inspiring a based backyard BBQ with frens it'll be worth it

[Anonymous No.24853539]

>>24849721

I got a $100 Amazon gift card

[Anonymous No.24853605]

>>24849831

Pretty nice looking buttplug imo

[Anonymous No.24853661]

>>24851348
Donate your gift so they can send the fake binoculars flask to some starving kid in africa.

[Anonymous No.24853825]

>>24851178
>Harry and David's pears and apples

[Anonymous No.24853898]

>>24851240
LOOK AT THAT CHAIR!!

[Anonymous No.24853902]

>>24849721
Any chance you work for Beckman Coulter? Shit company.

[Anonymous No.24853957]

>>24849721
I didn't get shit. We had a "thanksgiving" happy hour on zoom that I skipped. Fuck boomers.

[Anonymous No.24854104]

I got a 100 dollar bonus lads am I top of the food chain or what

[Anonymous No.24854112]

>>24849876
>knifes

[Anonymous No.24854140]

>>24853902
Sup fellow Danaherbro

[Anonymous No.24854218]

Reminds me the class lotteries where we had to bring the prizes ourselves.
I was happy with my Garfield keychain though.

[Anonymous No.24854241]

>>24852454
Heavy kek

[Anonymous No.24854276]

>>24853825
I almost went with it for the meme factor.

[Anonymous No.24854475]

Lol change workplace retard. I got one bottle of champagne, one 0.35l bottle of snaps, one box of handmade pralines, 2 champagne glases, one giftcard for nike.com (50$), 4 lottery tickets and a personal letter. I'm quitting tomorrow though

[Anonymous No.24854675]

>>24850068
oh my fucking god

[Anonymous No.24854870]

>>24850292
the trunk organizer looks lightweight and durable! I would def get that one, OP!

[Anonymous No.24854890]

>>24849721

[Anonymous No.24854945]

>>24854140
lol I quit 16 months ago. Never looked back.
Decent people until you get to mgmt

[Anonymous No.24854949]

this is like handing out the opposites of assets

[Anonymous No.24855004]

>>24849810
>INDOOR WEATHER STATION
It's actually a HAARP weather modification device cloned by chinaman
>set for sunny clear skies
it rains

[Anonymous No.24855035]

My 3 year anniversary gift for my wagie job was a apple power brick. I make 160k. Its everywhere.

[Anonymous No.24855279]

>>24854945
Fuck man, if you were a rep we very well may have worked together, I was at VWR during those times. Leaned heavily on your team because I could always just completely hand off a lead and you'd bring me back a sale (shit margins, but a sale that took zero minutes of my time nonetheless).

[Anonymous No.24855344]

>>24854140
Proof that i worked there:
Once or twice a year I would re-tape the production floor to "increase the square footage of the work zone" to impress some jackass who couldn't speak English

[Anonymous No.24855436]

>>24854945
I was a production scientist. Can't remember the exact name but it was the lauded SCIENTIST title haha

[Anonymous No.24855447]

>>24849721

i got a company branded exercise ball for my 5 year. :|

[Anonymous No.24855475]

>>24849831
Buy the knives. You know what you have to do.

[Anonymous No.24855540]

>>24853902
>>24854140
>>24855279
>looks like someone's got a case of the Wednesdays!

[Anonymous No.24856072]

>>24849721
ahahahahaha

[Anonymous No.24856326]

>>24855540
Naw man. Shit naw. I believe you'd get your ass kicked for saying somethin' like that.

[Anonymous No.24856364]

Lmao we all got $250 amex cards

[Anonymous No.24856455]

>>24850019
>this is a $1-5 billion revenue publicly traded company.

And they probably paid a lot less than $25 for each gift card.

[Anonymous No.24856689]

>>24856326
Don't want to doxx myself with more examples of their efficiency (cheapness) but believe me leaving was worth it.

[Anonymous No.24856689,1]

what the actual fuck