/biz/ - Business & Finance

[Anonymous No.24024633]

>we’re looking for a ROCKSTAR
>seeking the CODING NINJAS
>we need a SUPERHERO on our team

[Anonymous No.24024662]

>>24024633
>not a 10x developer
ngmi

[Anonymous No.24024672]

[Anonymous No.24024682]

Have you ever walked into a coding workplace? It's called the cuckshed for a reason. Everyone aspires to be an avengers or naruto character even in their 30s.

[Anonymous No.24024702]

>3 years experience with Deno required
>Deno only 1 year old

[Anonymous No.24024759]

>Back end expert required
>Also must know React and be able to demonstrate good UX design

[Anonymous No.24024811]

>superhero skills
>no superhero salary
thankfully my bitcoin stash gives me great negotiation power, I don't need to slave myself for pennies so I can reject shitty job offers

[Anonymous No.24024907]

seriously guys what should I learn to do in my free time I just want to make money

[Anonymous No.24024911]

>>24024907
How old are you

[Anonymous No.24024933]

>multi-talented expert
>fast-paced environment
>new member for our family

[Anonymous No.24024954]

>>24024759
I'm a back end expert, just not the kind they need.

>pizza on fridays

[Anonymous No.24024970]

>>24024907
>just pick up some REACT.JS and NODEJS bro and some ANGULAR
>I prefer PYTHON for my backend systems
>also brush up on the AGILE (((MANIFESTO)))

[Anonymous No.24025018]

>>24024970
Learn about some cloud platforms too (AWS, GCP etc)

[Anonymous No.24025061]

>>24024633
I unironically had a boss tell me this

[Anonymous No.24025161]

>>24024911
23
>>24024970
>>24025018
thanks bros

[Anonymous No.24025197]

Thanks guys, that thread makes [my dead end job of maintaining a shitty mvc3.net internal business management website that recreates excel 2003 in IE8 ] bearable.
At least the only cringe there is my own dead dreams, when I sober up enough to remember fragments of them.

[Anonymous No.24025210]

>we’re looking for a rockstar
>Get your game on, go play
>Hey now, you're a rock star
>Get the show on, get paid

[Anonymous No.24025215]

Pee pee poo poo

[Anonymous No.24025239]

>>24024682

Coding and IT occupationally was the most fucking soul crushing experience I ever felt. Unironically rather be a ditch digger for the rest of my life.

[Anonymous No.24025245]

>>24025061
>>24024633
Words cannot describe my disgust. May the normalfag system crash soon.

[Anonymous No.24025277]

>>24024759
they want code monkeys who can work on every part of application development
welcome to programming hell

[Anonymous No.24025280]

>>24024970
I am doing only front-end only React, probably you would need some knowledge about html,css git, and basic javascript. aint that hard, earning a good chunk, and i have some code monkeys on the side that bring me some free money.

[Anonymous No.24025298]

>>24025239
Nah nothing can be worse than working at walmart or any other retail store. I would rather rope.

[Anonymous No.24025312]

>free snacks

[Anonymous No.24025355]

>>24025280
You don’t know how to build a full system then. I could rebuild 4chan from the ground up, get your game elevated we need skills to combat the globohomos

[Anonymous No.24025390]

>must be a self-starter

[Anonymous No.24025443]

>benefits: home office up to 2x a week

[Anonymous No.24025452]

>>24024633
>on site ping-pong table included
>Weekly mindfulness meditation class
>companywide mental health days
>Regular company outings and events
I just want to be paid

[Anonymous No.24025457]

>we need someone who provides orders of magnitude more value than what we pay them to make up for all our diversity hires

[Anonymous No.24025481]

>>24024633
>must be able to work independently
>you have to be a team player
>flexible hours
>be prepared to work evenings & weekends occasionally

[Anonymous No.24025498]

>>24025481
>salary is 0.5 average

[Anonymous No.24025514]

>COMPETITIVE SALARY

[Anonymous No.24025587]

Honestly fuck boomers, glad their shit is coming to an end finally. Glad everyone seems to be on the same page here.

[Anonymous No.24025617]

this is why i'm a forester currently making it off crypto
hope the extra $X0k/y was worth getting permanebtly welded to a desk for the rest of your life by mr. shecklestein
i'll working my seasonal job in the rockies half the year and coding my own videogame the other

[Anonymous No.24025644]

>>24025587
This startup bullshit has nothing to do with boomers, though

[Anonymous No.24025659]

>>24025061
NEETs will never be able to appreciate these threads. They think it's just shit posting, and not a soul crushing cringe reality.

[Anonymous No.24025720]

>>24024633
>In addition to your duties and deliverables, you will be required to volunteer for the company's social committees (i.e. Sports Day, Film Club, CEO Night Out, Annual 10k Run).

>If you love organising three-legged and potato sack races as part of the company's community, this is the job for you.

[Anonymous No.24025721]

It always reminds me of 34 year old women on Tinder who have a list of requirements in their bio like
>must be 6' tall
>no kids because I want to start a family of my own soon
>have a university degree (because I also have a masters in Gender Studies)
>be into sports/hit the gym regularly
>be fluent in sarcasm xD
not realizing that the guy they're describing will never, ever go for a used up 35 year old except for a quick fuck because he can get a girl 10 years younger without all the baggage and an actual decent chance of getting pregnant.

Just like these companies don't realize that if you're really this amazing, motivated, hard-working, intelligent hustler, you'll start something on your own or only use the 9-to-5 to fund a side business just like the guy above will only use the 35 year old woman for a quick fuck and not a longterm thing

[Anonymous No.24025848]

>salary: competitive

[Anonymous No.24025993]

> If you were an animal, which one would you be?

[Anonymous No.24026009]

>>24025355
its not that hard.... I can learn it up easily, it's just that at least for me I enjoy it more and it always pays good.

[Anonymous No.24026038]

>>24025993
I had to answer "if you could only have one dream for the rest of your life, which one would it be?" for a sales job as a college student.

[Anonymous No.24026333]

>>24025993
Its chilling to know that not only did someone think this was a good question to ask, but other interviewers heard of it and also thought it was good and it became a somewhat common question

[Anonymous No.24026434]

can't beat this

[Anonymous No.24026472]

>>24025514
>>24025848
wtf does that even mean? the only thing it's competing with is usually the minimum wage, lmao

[Anonymous No.24026594]

>>24026333
To be fair, the entire interview process is complete bullshit anyway. Its just a mating ritual, a song and dance you must perform. Both sides know its fake and gay. It's just a metagame where all you're doing is demonstrating that you know what they want to hear. This is perfectly exemplified by common questions such as "what is your greatest weakness".

In an ideal world an interview would just be an informal conversation where you get an overall sense of each other's personality and make sure you're not an autistic goon and/or some pajeet/chink who can barely speak english

[Anonymous No.24026641]

I love postings like this, because they're a massive signal that they're targetted towards cocky college grads that have no concept of what they're worth in the market.
Meanwhile, life is super comfy working in a "dead" language where supply/demand works in my favour.

[Anonymous No.24026688]

>>24026434
is that fucking real? the discord tranny meme is reality

[Anonymous No.24026736]

>What's your favorite tik tok dance?

[Anonymous No.24026745]

>>24026688
https://discord.com/jobs

[Anonymous No.24026747]

>>24026472
It means the salary is dogshit, because they wouldn't be evasive if it weren't. Their goal is to drag you through the entire process wearing you down, potentially getting you to give up on other possibilities, thinking the salary will be better than it really is. But you don't find that out until they very end when they rug-pull you

[Anonymous No.24026763]

>looking for a video editor
>apply by editing this video for free
>if it's good we'll get you on board for 6 months at reduced pay to see if you're a good fit
>if it's not, well, thanks for the video anyway

[Anonymous No.24026859]

>>24026594
What exactly does the employer want to hear when they ask what animal you'd be? To me it seems like just a shit test to make sure you'll put up with the quirky unprofessional bullshit "fun office culture" the company uses to mask an otherwise shitty job

[Anonymous No.24026864]

This fucking shit is everywhere now I swear. I do Professional consulting - compliance. Interviewed at a company and was given an agreement.

4 months later I enter. Agreement isn’t live. Turns out they interviewed 6 people just to get our varied views on it...and for their then compliance/multi tool to know roughly what to do. Then it turned out....yeah they actually need compliance. JFC- everyone using interviews to get free advice nowadays

[Anonymous No.24026932]

>>24026641
4tran?

[Anonymous No.24026994]

>>24026641
cobol?

[Anonymous No.24027157]

>>24026434
ez +$10k; just lie, just like specified in talmund

[Anonymous No.24027204]

>>24026434
>>24026745
It's real.

[Anonymous No.24027224]

>>24024633
>mfw unironically a 10x developer.
>can work 2 hours a day on average and still be 2x as productive as the rest of the team
if your productivity get too high it ends up causing problems on the team. 2x is enough to keep you looking good, make everyone feel inadequate, but not so much that it gets you in trouble.

[Anonymous No.24027269]

>>24024970
> I prefer PYTHON for my backend systems
There are people with a decade of experience who legitimately believe this too. Absolutely disgusting.

[Anonymous No.24027952]

>>24026859
I'm not sure. I believe this was part of some bullshit management fad in the 90s or 2000s. Management would ask their employees this question for some reason. My old boss told me about it, said he answered house cat because he knew that wasn't at all what they were looking for. He was actually a great boss.

[Anonymous No.24028109]

>>24024633
>>we’re not looking for a TALENTLESS HACK
>>not seeking the BLEEDING VAGINA SERVANTS
>>we don't need a LOWLY PLEB VILLAIN on our team

[Anonymous No.24028209]

Is it difficult to find good defi?
Run onto DYMMAX (dymmax.com), they developed a referral program with Probit, wanna join. Good staking model, private sale was finished with 1mln funds.

[Anonymous No.24028352]

>>24025452
>kek
imagine this shit came to europe for all other jobs not just IT, all this bullshit socializing, like just give me a good wage and try not being a cunt for 1 minute and fuck off so I can do my job

[Anonymous No.24028636]

It's not worth it.

[Anonymous No.24028776]

>>24024633
>"I want to be WOWed"

[Anonymous No.24028817]

>>24028636
>OS platform: darwin
Oy vey a male platform name, this is extremely sexist and must be changed immediately

[Anonymous No.24028845]

>>24024970
Don't forget to get on those docker and kubernetes PARADIGMS bro

[Anonymous No.24028878]

This vp white woman got fired because some poojeeta wrote a medium article saying she said people working there should speak English

[Anonymous No.24028964]

>>24026994
Good guess, COBOL coders live a super comfy life. Everyone talking shit about them are fresh faced CS major noobs that don't realise their entire way of life is predicated on COBOL servers silently humming in the background.
>>24026932
You got it anon. The dirty little secret of working in any scientific computing job (including machine learning beyond HURR DURR I PUT THINGS IN SAGEMAKER) is that Fortran is always there, lurking in the shadows.
Granted, I have a very love/hate relationship with the language. No one should write new packages in it, I feel, and I deliberately volunteer to help with C++ and Python packages as backup plans. You also don't see a lot of job postings for it, because that's the kind of industry where you get a job because you know a guy who knows a guy. But it keeps paying the bills and I keep moving up the ranks for now, so the old girl has done good for me.

[Anonymous No.24029431]

Working is worse than jail

[Anonymous No.24029629]

>>24026434
OH NO NO NO NO NO

[Anonymous No.24029660]

>>24024633
>X NINJA

lol, why does every scam call themselves a "ninja". Scam courses online, scam job postings, etc

[Anonymous No.24030003]

[Anonymous No.24030306]

>>24025245
same

[Anonymous No.24030476]

>>24025993
What would they do if you said a human?

[Anonymous No.24031058]

This brings me joy to see people that can't stand this trash job culture.
I don't want to be paid in toys and games, I have not tile to lose on pretending to be busy, I don't care about being challenged, just fucking pay me for a job I am doing skillfully and fuck off.

[Anonymous No.24031170]

>>24024633
Yeah right, but if you break into their house at night and tie them up while they are sleeping and cut them just enough to wake them up but not bleed to death they start screaming that they don't want ninjas
Crazy really

[Anonymous No.24031284]

>>24026434
Of course you can't "beat" it
It gets chopped off

[Anonymous No.24031644]

>>24025993
>An Australian aboriginal

[Anonymous No.24031902]

>>24025280
freelance?

[Anonymous No.24032200]

>>24024933
>ID: wAjegGOe
wage goy

[Anonymous No.24032727]

>>24025197
what were your dreams anon?

[Anonymous No.24033328]

kek I will never ever work on IT.
The fuck is that kid shit haha

[Anonymous No.24033345]

>>24026434
somewhere along the line the simulation broke. memes used to parody reality, now reality parodies memes.. it amazes me the ("*COINCIDENSES*") appearing in our universe

[Anonymous No.24034096]

We are looking for the top 1% talent to join our team!... for the most average salary!

Communism suits us only on salaries!
Competitive salaries!!

[Anonymous No.24034464]

I make 80k a year working 100% remote as a react developer. You’re all coping.

[Anonymous No.24034473]

>>24024633
>how do you see yourself after 5 years in our company?

[Anonymous No.24034945]

>>24027224
Sounds like you're just working with glue eaters in enterprise.

[Anonymous No.24034982]

>>24034464
> 80k
Anon I...

[Anonymous No.24035129]

>DevOps
Tee-hee actually we're just Devs who have no clue about ops

[Anonymous No.24035194]

>>24034464
>80k
Is this your first job?

[Anonymous No.24035357]

>>24029660
Because they know midwit onions boys and redditors will eat it up
>>24025659
NEET here who worked a soul crushing IT job out of college these threads give me a sense of gratitude and a slight bit of PTSD from wage cucking. I hope all you anons make it we weren’t meant to be office wagies, there’s more to life than the Jewish system of oppression.

[Anonymous No.24035415]

>>24026594
This is how I conduct my interviews, and how I go into interviewing for jobs. Batting .900 so far with offers/interviews

[Anonymous No.24035428]

>>24024933
Checked
>wagey id

[Anonymous No.24035588]

I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown - can't stand being a web dev anymore but have absolutely zero experience and education in anything else.

Would give my left nut to just day trade shitcoins all day

[Anonymous No.24035625]

>>24025721
I'm not sure what world you're living in where being over 6' is going to find you a 25 year old (especially one without baggage). Now granted I am an ugly cunt (i.e.a solid 4 face wise), but good luck jumping through the hoops of even fat ugly sluts with severe mental issues

[Anonymous No.24035698]

>>24035588
Checked I'm with you anon, I just wanna end wagecuckery

[Anonymous No.24035790]

>sales SUPERSTAR
>dishwashing ROCKSTAR
>street sweeping SUPERHERO
>shelf stocking LEGEND

>FUNKY office
>close to PUBLIC TRANSPORT
>EPIC (mundane thing)
>A fridge full of beers for Friday! (that nobody drinks unless they are working overtime on Friday evening and then if you drink more than 2 we will lecture you)

Being a recruiter would be easy as shit because all you would have to do to stand out would be not bullshit people and use this tired language everyone is sick of and it would be so refreshing that people would probably love dealing with you.

[Anonymous No.24035924]

>>24024633
>we're looking for a BIG GUY

[Anonymous No.24035961]

>>24035790
My mate Dave is a raging alcoholic and drank all the free Friday beers once, he's got a liver of steel though so he was actually still pretty normal afterwards. He got fired for snorting ket in the toilet though.

[Anonymous No.24036124]

>>24029660

It's like the NINJA loans. No Income No Job no Assets.

[Anonymous No.24036246]

>>24035924
>for you

[Anonymous No.24036291]

>>24024633
>>we’re looking for a ROCKSTAR
>but we're paying you like a shower crower

[Anonymous No.24036709]

>>24024702
Welcome to jobseeking. Theyve been using this trick forever.

[Anonymous No.24037142]

>>24035961
Dave sounds based

[Anonymous No.24037190]

It's just code for onions drinking faggot who enjoys the pungent smell of dirty rajeets all day.

[Anonymous No.24037231]

>>24026434
OHNONONONONONO HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH FUCK. WOW.

[Anonymous No.24037322]

>>24026434
>work at discord
>be female
>get boobjob
>claim its gender surgery
>get salary increase from flashing tits

[Anonymous No.24037445]

>>24037142
Yeah he's great, he got a job with the navy now.

He was born in Doncaster but he was made in The Royal Navy

[Anonymous No.24037840]

>>24024954

Pizza Friday Every Friday my dude.

[Anonymous No.24037874]

>>24026747
this.

jobs should post upfront the lowest starting wage for the position

[Anonymous No.24037880]

>>24026038
Having a better job than this

[Anonymous No.24037920]

>>24024682

All my coworkers are gen x and boomers that talk about nothing but scifi / fantasy shows and normie american "lib" politics.

[Anonymous No.24038009]

>>24026434
there has to be some way to abuse this, that they wouldn't be able to question.

"any procedure related to transition" - there's no legal definition of "transition", and even if there was, isn't "sex" or "gender" non-biological according to their mental-illness world?

I'm willing to bet you could milk ~$10k out of them for some plastic surgery. Might cost you a few thousand in attorney's fees in the end, though.

[Anonymous No.24038065]

>>24034464

Same. But it sucks. I got a CS degree to try to get out of web development but all interviewers saw after I graduated was my previous experience as a web developer...

[Anonymous No.24038090]

>>24025298
dishwashing in a busy restaurant

[Anonymous No.24038108]

>got a BA in history from a state school
>no skills anywhere else except for 'soft skills' like the ability to bullshit and write ok

Should I learn codecuck shit to get a job or what?I will honestly kill myself if I have to teach.

[Anonymous No.24038371]

>>24031644

[Anonymous No.24038529]

>>24025993
>whichever but not a nigger.

[Anonymous No.24038555]

Its no better for me as a mograph designer
>Entry Level Position
>50k a year
>5 years experience required

[Anonymous No.24039670]

Wagies, lol.

I'm a neet with huge DMG bags.

Comfy.jpeg

[Anonymous No.24039700]

>>24025457

>he thinks it's tha ebil black man holding down his pay and not the company bosses sucking up all the surplus value of his labor, using identity politics to keep the working man distracted, atomized, and angry at members of his own class

Amazing how consistently the same old tricks have worked for so many years

[Anonymous No.24039743]

I wonder if any managers/recruiters actually lurk these kinds of threads and realize how cringe they are

[Anonymous No.24039984]

>>24039743
fuck no they’re all retarded normans with 0 self actualization let alone risk taking predispositions