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2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/biz/ - Business & Finance

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21700322 No.21700322 [Reply] [Original]

>be me
>go on first date in 5 years
>everything is cool we giggle we drink
>have one too many drinks
>time to say goodbye, she leaves fast as fuck with no personal goodbye
>check my pants
>this was in my underwear

>> No.21700373

>>21700322
She pooped in your underwear while you were distracted. She was just getting out of there before you realised.

>> No.21700377

You are a liar, david

>> No.21700407

>>21700322
>lightly brushes dick with her hand
>WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!?

>> No.21700421

>>21700322
thank you for sharing with us today anon

>> No.21700427
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21700427

>>21700373
She went to the gas station and I got o it to put gas and started farting and I actually had 2 of these my underwear have shit stains on them too

>> No.21700473

for you to not notice that lump it must have fallen out of your anus at the speed of gravitational constant g without any resistance

>> No.21700476

>>21700427
If she isn’t aroused by the smell of your shit, she ain’t wife material

>> No.21700505
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21700505

>>21700473
It was a really comfy fart I didn’t notice until I got home and took a shit
>>21700476
You’re right, thanks anon I appreciate it

>> No.21700718
File: 333 KB, 1279x1013, based squad vs janny.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
21700718

This thread.
Is why we have nice things.

>> No.21700807
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21700807

>>21700718
Thanks for making me feel based anon

>> No.21700870

See this is one of those threads where it seems like a LARP bc of the event described, but OP describes it so genuinely it doesn’t seem like a LARP at the same time.

If it’s real, yeah that sucks OP. But think .. 5 years down the line will this really matter? No way. You’ll have another girl by then. A better one. It’s surprising how quickly things get memory holed.

>> No.21700910
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21700910

>>21700322
pee pee poo poo

>> No.21700954

>>21700322
nasty

>> No.21700978
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21700978

>>21700870
It’s not a larp anon, I done goofed and am farting right now and it feels weird in my new underwear idk wtf I ate I’m not usually like this but I fucked up and this is going on my cringe folder for the rest of my life

>> No.21701032

>>21700476
Based

>> No.21701079

>>21700322
>>21700427
OP, i went on a "date" with this girl i had been crushing on for YEARS and her friend was there. we did a movies and chill type of thing. for some reason i get anxiety diarrhea whenever im nervous as fuck, like for job interviews or whatever i'll have to piss and shit every hour until after the event is over.
well, the whole day at work before meeting this girl and her friend (whos also hot as fuck of course), i had anxiety diarrhea. could not stop shitting all day, and they were the type of shits where i had to wipe my ass so much that my ass hurt and was definitely getting a rash.
during the dinner they said something smells, i was like "Like what?"
we got to the movies and i went to the bathroom, wiped my ass to be safe, which hurt like fuck. i could tell i was probably smelling like shit but not much i could do about it. sat in between the two hot women during the movie, not knowing if i smelled like utter shit or not. i did have a little cologne on so it mightve helped mask it a little.
they never said anything specific but a few months later i saw the girl again and she complimented my smell (was wearing her fav cologne) and she made some comment like "you always smell nice. well, usually"
i think she smelled my shitty pants and was too nice to say anything.
she bought a house last month and invited me to move in with her.

>> No.21701101

>can't control when to poop
>smells like poop
Congrat's Anon, you're at the same level as animals.

>> No.21701228
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21701228

>>21701079
I wish this was the case, but I was indeed wearing cologne and it didn’t go down like this...
>>21701101
I’m sorry I just wanted to fart after having some beers

>> No.21701243

>>21701228
too much anal

>> No.21701783
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21701783

>>21700807

>> No.21701855

I farted during head once. only the second time i did anything sexual with her too.

>> No.21701971
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21701971

>>21700322
>>21700427
>>21700978

>> No.21702238

>>21700322
How can he profit from this?

>> No.21702319
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21702319

This was a pretty based post op not gonna lie. I need something to distract myself from the link dumps

>> No.21702408

>>21701855
lol how did she react? I've come very close to farting but never quite. I think the girl I'm with would probably laugh it off. She's farted while we're making out by accident, but that's different that having your head there.

>> No.21702483

>>21700322
normally i'd feel sorry for you

but with lockdown I haven't been on a date in so long that i'm still envious regardless

>> No.21702502

put me in the screencap bump

>> No.21702524

>business and finance

>> No.21703501

>>21700322
>Business and Finance

>> No.21703548
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21703548

>>21700322
Bullish for adult diapers, buy them stocks

>> No.21703618

>>21701079
Wash your ass after taking a shit you disgusting animal

>> No.21703626

>>21700322
One time i was walking with this girl too my home. All of the sudden i had to shit. I took her bicycle without explanation and biked to my home. Full blast diarrhea. Needless to say we never fucked even tho everything was pointing to us fucking. Feelsbadman

>> No.21703684

>>21701079
If you have anxiety shits you cancel the date moron. I have severe ibs and i am on a restricted diet. No more anxiety shits for me by the way. Apparently gluten make my anxiety shitting go through the roof. Now im gluten free and. I havent anxiety shitted in more than a year

>> No.21703873

Nigga are you legit retarded?

>> No.21703979

So this is the life of americans

>> No.21704052

>>21701228
do you think she smelled it and that's why she left or what? do you see her often?

>> No.21704149

>>21703684
ive read that many people fixed their IBS going on the carnivore diet.

thank me later.

>> No.21704250

>>21700322
i wouldn't even worry about it. if you may be in a relationship with her one day you will both poop in front of each other. give her some time, probably wasn't the first date she was expecting, maybe she hasn't been on a date in a while either. get back to her in a couple days and ask whatsup and never mention the turds or that the date ended funny. just invite her out somewhere and don't shit in front of her until you know each other a little better. i'd say it's still fine op

>> No.21704319

>>21704250
>just shit your pants bro
honestly i had a chuckle. it's sound advice though. act like nothing weird happened and move forward if you really like her.

>> No.21704397
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21704397

>>21700322
The current state of /biz/. If you can't even hold your shit in during a fart then you're not going to make it.