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/biz/ - Business & Finance

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20085015 No.20085015 [Reply] [Original]

I desperately NEED a job within the next two weeks or I'll risk being homeless. I don't qualify for unemployment benefits and only have one year of meme degree low-level wagie office work experience.to my name. Finding a job is proving to be extraordinary difficult. What should I do?

>> No.20085030

Join the army.

>> No.20085035

Armed forces

>> No.20085048

>>20085015
yvan eht nioJ

>> No.20085050

unemployment department is hiring 1800 jobs or something.

>> No.20085051

>>20085030
>>20085035
Can't due to per-existing health condition.

>> No.20085063

>>20085030
literally this. I'm a banker now but if I get laid off I will join the national guard and I WILL shoot leftists

>> No.20085065

>>20085051
*pre-existing

>> No.20085068

>>20085015
Do you like the taste of dick?

>> No.20085069

>>20085015
buy kneepads

>> No.20085083

Doordash

>> No.20085247

Token literally not needed

>> No.20085271

>>20085015
i've been living in a van for one year and i've saved up 25 grand working temp jobs doing this. Man up and be frugal

>> No.20085303

go to a fucking staffing agency you nerd. they can usually place you in some low level shit same day as long as you aren’t currently on drugs. your first check can still take up to 3 weeks with most jobs though so, have fun getting raped by a cash advance place

>> No.20085458

>>20085015
if you kill the landlord you get to keep the house right?

>> No.20085468

Are you in the u.s and are unemployed? If so file for pandemic unemployment, you should get it if you didn't get regular unemployment.

>> No.20085477

>>20085065
Join the pre-existing conditon army

>> No.20085493

>>20085271
stop parking in my fucking lot or else i'm calling the cops. if I see your van one more fucking time, I'm calling the police.

>> No.20085495

>>20085015
Amazon

>> No.20085505

>>20085271
where do you do bathroom stuff and get wifi?

>> No.20085531

Water-fast for 2 months. Forget about money, submit to the mind-control of your Satanic overlords.

>> No.20085612

>>20085063
>I'm a banker now

Not a very good one if you're a wage slave.

>> No.20085736

>>20085493
nobody ever knows. the trick is to keep the van completely empty except for my nice little expensive bag for laptop etc. My high class $200 camping mattress folds up and fits in a little compartment. my clothes folded nicely in a little stow away bin. Always dress sharp with nice shoes, never tell your co workers where you sleep

>> No.20085811

>>20085015
go to the autonomous zone. they are handing out free shit and providing free shelter.

>> No.20085820

>>20085736
Gotta do what you gotta do man, we've all been places. More power to you, you're gonna make it

>> No.20085841

Why don't you drive for uber? Or if you dont have a car, use your bike for door dash or postmates or something

>> No.20085853

>>20085505
hotspot my cell phone or use xfinity hotspots, it's everywhere in the expensive city where i live rent free and make the same wage as all these suckers with no savings, who live in a little box anyway and spend $1000 a month on take out.
>shower
the gym but showering everyday is a meme. I fresh up with a wash cloth 5 times a week, if you think you need to rub chemicals on your body everyday you're a conssoooomer faggot. I haven't used soap or shampoo in almost a year, you'd never tell
>bathroom
piss jug, empty it outside
shit at work, eat at work (one large meal a day), work overtime (you don't want to hang out in the car just sleep in it)

not for whiney bitches or women, a good way to save massive amounts of money if you're young and have a decent pay job in an expensive city, I've had a savings rate of 90% lately. The key is to go full on and spend money on nothing but investments. I've done it off and on, buying a rental property after the housing crash and will do van life again for 6 months sprints. take half the year off living at my cheap foreign flat I've recently purchased

>> No.20085931

>>20085505
Not that guy but I lived out of my car for 3 months a few years back and I had a membership to a 24 hour gym so I'd go there to shower and shave. Wifi is easy theres a ton of places with unsecured wifi you can access while in the parking lot and during the day theres always libraries and malls. For sleeping just go into a residential neighborhood since traffic is low so long as you're not in somebody's driveway or otherwise making a nuisance of yourself you'll be fine, still not a bad idea to move around and not just park in the exact same spot every day.

>> No.20086024

>>20085065
just lie to them people do it all the time

>> No.20087004

>>20085065
national gaurd then