Be me

[Anonymous No.18685662]

>getting married in 4 months
>transferring all liquid assets to picrelated in the event of divorce

Tell me EXACTLY how to do it. I would guess transfer fiat to something like kraken, transfer to wallet, transfer to other wallet only I hold keys to and store keys on etched metal in a place only I know? Does that sound right?

In before dont get married
Fuck off, I want kids and so does she
Im hedging downside risk
If you can't understand that concept kindly kys

[Anonymous No.18685693]

>>18685662
That's a man

[Anonymous No.18685698]

i have not fucking idea
but congrats anon

[Anonymous No.18685747]

>>18685662
>he already thinks about breaking up before marrying
your marriage is already doomed to fail

[Anonymous No.18685768]

>>18685662
>I would guess transfer fiat to something like kraken, transfer to wallet, transfer to other wallet only I hold keys to and store keys on etched metal in a place only I know?
take your meds. I feel bad for your future wifey schizo

[Anonymous No.18685783]

>>18685747
Bro a majority of marriages fail. Good to be safe economically speaking.

[Anonymous No.18685793]

it's not much of a marriage if you can't trust your wife to not take half of your money

[Anonymous No.18685794]

why not just do a prenup? if you have to do this behind her back its probably not a good sign

[Anonymous No.18685795]

>>18685747
If youre a man and you dont consider this possibility you are a fool
Anyone who enters into any situation should hope for the best but prepare for the worst
>>18685768
See above

[Anonymous No.18685811]

>>18685783
And 80% of divorces are initiated by women
This is common sense
>>18685793
Its literally every marriage in the US
>>18685794
Legal precedent for prenups is that they're effectively meaningless

[Anonymous No.18685886]

>>18685662
I'm curious about this too, OP.
would transferring your wealth into gold be a good plan? Also I thought you only owe your wife wealth accumulated after you marry

[Anonymous No.18685926]

>>18685886
Would probably be wise to use both so long as they are in places where you control access eg not a safe deposit box or shared space

[Anonymous No.18685981]

>>18685662
https://youtu.be/jRvg0w3V1QQ

[Anonymous No.18686060]

>>18685811
There is no legal precedent in non-community property states that says they are meaningless. Exactly the opposite. And the judge is going enlarge your asshole when your ex-wife's attorney introduces bank transfers going to a crypto exchange. Fucking retard.

[Anonymous No.18686074]

>>18685886
Correct, it's half of assets gathered together, unless it's a community property state which could actually get OP arrested if he lives in one and chooses to do this. Fucking absolute moron.

[Anonymous No.18686138]

>>18685662
The tricky party is plausible deniability, the paper trail is going to show money going into kraken and future lawyers are going to want to know where that money went. "idk lol" or "I lost all of it" isn't going to cut it.

The best bet is to trade/hold, make gains, hide the profit in XMR in a hardware wallet, then withdraw your starting amount back to the bank account. Don't make a big deal about it, don't bring up crypto in conversation, and if ever asked about it just say you dabbled but "trading it is impossible so I got out of there, didn't want to lose my money lol". The fact that $X went in and approx $X came out later provides a decent cover story. Trying to send $X straight to crypto and have it vanish is going to be a lot harder.

[Anonymous No.18686138,1]

Have kids without marriage? what are you, christian?

[Anonymous No.18686163]

>>18686138
You're forgetting that the exchange is going to submit his information to the IRS, and legally he has to declare that he bought crypto on his annual return. This is a huge shitshow in the US and OP will get caught, fined and possibly even jailed. Not to mention, the judge will most likely award all the crypto to the wife when he finds out how slimy OP is.

[Anonymous No.18686184]

>>18686138
He can say he gambled it away on a crypto casino or lost the key.
As for your question OP yep sounds good.

[Anonymous No.18686187]

>>18685662
Just put it into LINK, send it to yourself on a paper wallet or myetherwallet address and if questioned say you sent the money to an offshore sports book (bookmaker) and lost it all

[Anonymous No.18686204]

>>18685747
so much this, why even marry someone you think its going to steal all your money eventually

[Anonymous No.18686208]

>>18686184
Until the yearly documents are submitted by the exchange to the IRS and OP having to commit tax fraud year after year. Sounds so much better than just paying an attorney $100 to write a prenup.

[Anonymous No.18686242]

>>18686060
>>18686138

this. Just get a prenup. Have it reviewed by a few divorce lawyers to make sure its as tight as possible. This isn't 100%, but it's something.

[Anonymous No.18686260]

>>18685662
> hold keys to and store keys on etched metal in a place only I know
this is something a boomer would do inside their fallout bunker. take meds shizo

[Anonymous No.18686266]

>>18686163
Yes, he sent money to an exchange and dabbled in crypto. That was never in question, and he doesn't have to deny it. The IRS doesn't track purchases beyond the yes/no question, they only care about sells that trigger capital gains.

If OP has secret profits parked in XMR and plays it cool, it will be all his. This plan falls apart though as soon as someone gets suspicious enough to demand exchange records. At that point you're hosed.

[Anonymous No.18686269]

>>18685662
Use localmonero.co

[Anonymous No.18686274]

>>18686266
The question includes holding, which means he has to say that he is holding crypto every single year. Are you fucking retarded?

[Anonymous No.18686317]

>>18686274
>are you fucking retarded?
Yes thanks for asking. Also who's to say he doesn't keep a decoy BTC around to justify answering 'yes' to the question? This isn't an easy or safe course of action for OP but it's not as impossible as you're making it out to be.

[Anonymous No.18686369]

>>18685768
>>18685662
transfer fiat to a stablecoin (tether, usdc) on a verified coinbase account, then to another wallet on kraken (unverified false name), switch to XMR, withdraw to cold wallet. this way the irs can only see what you originally put it, which they can do btw and will try hard to pinpoint the price at investment, they can see investments tied to your name if you are dealing with KYC or AML. just say it vanished into shitcoins. eventually when you need to cash out, say the money earned was a gift, or cash out some other way. sorry you are getting married. always remember, women don't have souls and are incapable of love. good of you to think ahead. good luck <3

[Anonymous No.18686384]

>>18686317
You're missing the point where OP's information on prenups is not credible and that would solve all his issues, legally. No risk of fine, losing his money, jail. And this is only even an issue if he lives in a community property state, which he hasn't even confirmed yet. Otherwise, his money before the vows is his money after the vows.

[Anonymous No.18686435]

>>18686060
>>18686074
This is before marriage
And I will have an empty wallet to show this hypothetical judge
>>18686138
This makes sense
>>18686163
The irs doesn't give a shit about buying crypto, they care about exiting
There are a number of in person cash options for selling xmr specifically
>>18686208
Do you understand anything about how taxes work?
>>18686242
You're unironically a fucking mark if you think a prenup means anything
>>18686266
Finally someone who knows what the fuck theyre talking about
>>18686317
This
>>18686369
Thanks anon
My woman has a heart of gold
Which I hope lasts forever
Whether it does or not, I'll be fine

[Anonymous No.18686451]

>>18686384
You're literally the dumbest fucking nigger in this thread, stfu while the adults talk

[Anonymous No.18686456]

I wonder which happens more often in general and which is a higher risk in OP's specific situation...

>Man loses all his money in a divorce or
>Man loses all his money in cryptocurrency or
>Both

[Anonymous No.18686464]

>>18686369
also, forgot to mention, if you transfer to bisq thats the best way to do things, but only transfer in btc, and never buy btc from there, only xmr. you don't want tainted coins in addition to the scrutiny you will already be getting. asking for a prenup may add to the likelihood of the marriage failing to those suggesting it, i can understand ops reasoning. some combination of the suggested methods in this thread should work for you.

[Anonymous No.18686488]

>>18686456
I would be willing to take the product of those two probabilities for the upside of being married and having kids
>>18686464
Redpill me on bisq

[Anonymous No.18686543]

>>18686488
no intensive signup, KYC, nor AML stuff. its decentralized so no bad government stuff. also its free software iirc :3 basically if you are putting in lots of money, the unverified kraken method won't necessarily work, i am not sure what their transaction cap is before registry. either way these are the things for you to look at. xmr is the only safe thing to buy from there either way. cash out on localmonero.co . also that works for picking up monero as well. really its up to you what you want to do.

[Anonymous No.18686546]

>>18686435
This is before marriage
>And I will have an empty wallet to show this hypothetical judge
Doesn't matter retard, they will have all tax records for the past 20 years and all bank statements.
>>18686163
>The irs doesn't give a shit about buying crypto, they care about exiting
You have to declare every year you hold and your wife will be able to get exvery single tax record, as well as I said before, your bank records for the past 20 years. On top of that they can subpoena any exchange you purchase from and analyze the blockchain to see what you're holding.
>>18686208
>Do you understand anything about how taxes work?
It's completely possible to pull this off successfully. You are way too fucking retarded to do it lmfao. Do you?
>>18686242
>You're unironically a fucking mark if you think a prenup means anything
Literallay fuck yourself. I've already told you that prenups are ironclad in non-community property states and still mostly so in community property states, just get a decent attorney to do it. You're a fucking idiot and should not attempt criminal activity.
>>18686266
>Finally someone who knows what the fuck theyre talking about
Wrong and he admitted it in the one you quoted below. Once again, you're way too dumb to pull this off, trust me.
>My woman has a heart of gold
Yet you want to start the relationship off by lying to her. She is definitely going to divorce you when she finds out. Which she will because you've proved you're a complete idiot.

[Anonymous No.18686594]

>>18686546
im an absolute brainlet and this is actually the most retarded thing ive ever seen. you cant subpeona an XMR transaction list you absolute retard. glow harder :C. this is a fed seething about the fact that you figured out how to not be jewed by the system OP. you are on the right track. buy xmr with cash, nothing the glowniggers can do about it.

[Anonymous No.18686597]

>>18686546
so withdraw lots of cash, claim a gambling addiction and into gold?

[Anonymous No.18686622]

>>18686546
muh taxes, muh wamen rights, muh marriage transparency, muh laws.

you would think IRS employees would have better things to do than shit up imageboards :<

[Anonymous No.18686657]

>>18686435
One thing to note, if a golden bull market starts it will make the cover story a lot harder to keep intact. Once every Steve and Karen on the planet gets thinking along the lines of "crypto = big payday", then the fact that you have *ever* opened a crypto account is going to face intense scrutiny. Your wife will become curious, start asking "did you buy? did you(we) make money?" It's up to you how to handle that question. If she catches even a whiff of moon gains she will remember and tell her lawyer in the hypothetical divorce, and the jig is up.

[Anonymous No.18686671]

>>18686597
gold cannot be spent in the interim anonymously. xmr allows you to create unlimited sub addresses, no way to trace transactions and you can leave the position slowly overtime if needed.

[Anonymous No.18686673]

>>18686594
>you cant subpeona an XMR transaction list
Imagine being this fucking retarded. I work for an investigative company not the fed you braindead nigger. All KYC exchanges keep records. All records are turned into the IRS and also held onto for 10 years. You know this, you're intentionally misleading OP.
>>18686597
This is the proper way, as long as you don't buy from a corporation. It's been done this way for decades. But, divorce attorneys are not retarded, doing this before the marriage will help immensely though and in my opinion will not be caught.
>>18686622
Thanks for your input schizo nigger

[Anonymous No.18686698]

>>18686657
It already does. I handle divorce cases all the time and OP is not unique in his thinking nor is he smart enough to pull it off.

[Anonymous No.18686714]

>>18686673
>I work for an investigative company

[Anonymous No.18686729]

>>18686714
No rebuttal to facts so you attack my profession which grosses 30x your minimum wage.
The absolue state of the people you're taking advice from, OP.

[Anonymous No.18686744]

>>18686698
how do I pull it off?

[Anonymous No.18686745]

>>18686657
not if the only thing you bought on the books was usdc
>>18686673
do you know what XMR is? yeah if you buy from a KYC they can see. I said buy stablecoin from KYC, trade for XMR on a separate service. Also, buying with cash is another suggestion, and definitely the best option. And you should own the fact you are a fed btw, its pretty cool to service your country. Don't be ashamed for who you are.

[Anonymous No.18686774]

>>18686744
Move the money in small increments to a bank account that is not your own, and over a long period of time. Transfer from that account to a non KYC exchange. Do not touch it until after all divorce proceedings are finalized. Kids will make this much much longer as all financials can be subpoenaed while the court has rule over things like custody and child support.

[Anonymous No.18686783]

OP if you really want to be safe, just download the XMR wallet from the website so its super easy for you, go to localmonero and get your bags to hold with cash alone. Surely IRS-man can't fud this strategy.

[Anonymous No.18686798]

>>18686745
>do you know what XMR is?
No, I don't deal in shitcoins, nor do I actually care if OP gets arrested, fined or jailed. Cash is fine but if it's large withdrawals it will draw questions. Yes, I'm a fed you fucking schizo.

[Anonymous No.18686802]

>>18686774
thats dumb don't do that. another glow in the dark. IRS agents really trying to get you to do dumb stuff OP so their job can be easier.

[Anonymous No.18686818]

>>18686802
Please explain. This is just my hypothesis because obviously we (IRS man, obv) never catch the ones who do it successfully.

[Anonymous No.18686848]

>>18686729
yeah I bet your larp job has great benefits too, tell me more about its 401k match

[Anonymous No.18686852]

>>18686798
XMR isn't a shitcoin. read the whitepaper. transactions are obfuscated, the ledger is unreadable. its also heavily undervalued. it will be worth much more in the 30's than BTC due to higher transaction count, block rewards and different inflation.

[Anonymous No.18686866]

>>18686848
1% for 1.5%
2% for 3%
5% for 5%
Also have a pension.

[Anonymous No.18686873]

>>18686774
why not just withdraw cash, claim it was gambled and stuff it in a mattress/buy gold and bury it like a fucking pirate?

[Anonymous No.18686884]

>>18686873
Better than the crypto strategy but you'll get hounded for proof of gambling addiction other than just your word.

[Anonymous No.18686888]

>>18686818
https://masteringmonero.com/free-download.html
it has practical use. its the only non-shitcoin. people will realize this when they get denied loans because of public BTC ledgers
>>18686873
this is dumb too, you have to sell eventually, and its less easy with physical assets.

[Anonymous No.18686947]

cash to bulk buy XMR from someone local or cash to bitcoin atms to XMR

[Anonymous No.18686971]

>>18686947
this. OP, please ignore the feds giving fake info. good luck again, we are all going to make it c:

[Anonymous No.18686975]

>>18686888
I think this is the way OP, based on my 5 minutes of research

[Anonymous No.18687002]

>>18686971
smart, whats your xmr investment plan? I'm waiting for markets to crash harder before buying

[Anonymous No.18687022]

>TELL ME EXACTLY HOW TO DO IT

Whoa there boss! Why should anybody share this knowledge with you especially when you're not asking nicely? No dice for you, hate entitled rude people.

[Anonymous No.18687037]

>>18686975
kill yourself glowie. better 5 correct minutes of learning than decades of being a wagie fed unlearning common sense so you can preach about morality and lick the boots of the state
>>18687002
buy some, then when the price goes down buy a lot more. when you see sub 40$ go all in, keep piling more until it pops back up.

[Anonymous No.18687047]

>>18687037
I'm more pessimistic I think the market is going to get much shittier and stay that way for a while

[Anonymous No.18687055]

>>18687037
You're an idiot. XMR was brought up in the last 20 minutes, until then it was all ways to get OP asspounded. I already said I had no idea what it was. I hope you have a better night and please take your meds, your family is worried.

[Anonymous No.18687086]

>>18687047
>bearing this hard

[Anonymous No.18687093]

>>18687047
which market? if interest rates go negative crypto holdings will skyrocket.
>>18687055
the picrelated in OPs post had XMR in it... are you mentally retarded, im sorry, handicapped? they must be really desperate over at the IRS these days. im sorry if i was being too mean, i didn't know you were actually disabled.

[Anonymous No.18687103]

>>18687093
crypto sells off with other risk assets

[Anonymous No.18687105]

>>18687037
>stops buying after it pops back up
ngmi

[Anonymous No.18687114]

>>18687093
>doesn't know what XMR is
>expect him to know their logo
Imagine being this retarded. Prepare to be audited wagie.

[Anonymous No.18687153]

>>18686673
Learn how XMR works, you dimwit.

[Anonymous No.18687162]

>>18687153
We're past that, keep up

[Anonymous No.18687178]

>>18687105
kekd, i assumed OP would have already invested all the money he had by then :3
>>18687114
go eat a donut, glow in the dark. IRS agents should learn to think before they open their fucking mouths. Why did you voice such strong opinions on XMR, how easily it could be subpoenaed etc if you don't even know what it is? You are a worthless piece of trash. Stop leeching off of the system and go kill yourself. I can't believe my taxes go to feeding shits like you.

[Anonymous No.18687182]

>>18687114
Honestly you havent understood the entire purpose of this thread?
You just assumed we were talking about crypto in general?

The. Absolute. Fucking. State.

[Anonymous No.18687192]

>>18685662
Don't buy American and don't get married in America. Go somewhere better.

[Anonymous No.18687193]

>>18687178
I actually never expressed opinions on XMR, just crypto in general. You keep saying retarded things.
pic related, me and the boys examining your trades.

[Anonymous No.18687203]

>>18687162
cope. you can't hide your incompetence, you aren't at your glow in the dark jew job. we don't have some hierarchy of qualification based on how long each anon has been sniffing asses.

[Anonymous No.18687210]

>>18686204
kids

[Anonymous No.18687220]

>>18687182
Yes, keep up. For an hour it was bitcoin this, exchange that. No mention of XMR and as already stated I had no idea what it was. You expect everyone to know everything you're invested in?

[Anonymous No.18687234]

This is now a Scooter thread

[Anonymous No.18687238]

>>18687203
I thought I was at my glow in the dark job? that's what you said earlier. Are you backtracking, anon? feeling a little unsteady? It's okay buddy, just take a deep breath.

[Anonymous No.18687242]

Wow dude.

I've been with my GF for 6 years. We have a 3 year old. Not married and not gonna. And if I were so inclined to fit the "social norms of our time" I would just marry and use a prenub.

It's not hard. It's just most men have microscopic balls that prevent them from setting down rules with a woman.

[Anonymous No.18687258]

>>18687242
Based

[Anonymous No.18687275]

>>18685747
This is the stupidest post I've read all day. 50% of marriages fail dumbass, and that's not counting the (I assume insanely large) amount of unhappy marriages that couples stay in because they're too scared to divorce. If you are getting married and don't prep in case of divorce you are a fucking neanderthal.

[Anonymous No.18687277]

>>18687193
>>18687220
honestly you should log off. or learn to read. or lurk more. really you should just shut up. stop blaming your retardation on others. sometimes nature just plays cruel games and we have to deal with it.
>>18687238
my assumption was that wagies had time off that they spent watching the latest zoomer show or trying to go on dates. seems you are sadder than both. you can be a glow in the dark, which you admitted without being at work 24/7. keep up retard.

[Anonymous No.18687297]

>>18687277
Sorry, bachelorette is on and I lost concentration. What were we talking about?

[Anonymous No.18687303]

>>18687297

[Anonymous No.18687308]

Transfering wont matter much attorneys will establish your worth regardless. Unless its black money already the gov knows about it. You need to protect it with a prenup... now.

[Anonymous No.18687320]

>>18687308
You're a glownigger obv you can't just suggest that the government knows or at least has access to about financial instruments

[Anonymous No.18687348]

Also depending on your local state laws a and prenuptial may not protect you in years to come, especially if when u have kids. Its better u can show this money was before rhe relationship and not earned in partnership. I have a prenup. She did not wanr to sign it... but did eventually.

[Anonymous No.18687353]

>>18686888
Trips of Truth

[Anonymous No.18687384]

>>18687320
seethe harder.

[Anonymous No.18687401]

>>18687384
I'm trying but Chad just walked into the bedroom with his cockring on so it's hard to be upset right now.

[Anonymous No.18687427]

Great song https://youtu.be/SnieQ7hUcN8

[Anonymous No.18687493]

>>18686884
alright, skip the gambling part would you have to explain periodic cash withdrawals?

[Anonymous No.18687499]

>>18687103
to some extent, but depending on the concurrent devaluation of the dollar that would occur, XMR is a possible hedge. coupled with banks charging for holding savings, people will start to look for alternatives and perhaps land on crypto if the community plays their cards right.

[Anonymous No.18687538]

>>18687493
Depends how much. It will definitely be questioned if more than a couple hundred dollars at a time but there's plenty of legitimate reasons that can't be traced. I would advise taking different denominations out in each withdrawal and like I said earlier this is going to take awhile with any amount worth hiding. Doing so before the marriage is a great if you're in a community property state as it will be less scrutinized and foolproof if you aren't as they won't go back before the marriage in those instances.

[anonymous No.18687883]

>>18687538
use local monero to buy in / buy out using cash
when you take the cash out of your bank account do it slowly
it's safer if anon executes this slowly. large withdrawals are harder to explain.

If you're rich and local monero doesnt have the liquidity, then just use kraken straight to xmr.

If you don't sell any of the xmr, you're not breaking the law.

Buy some btc or eth on an exchange that doesnt allow withdrawals. so when you do your taxes you can say you purchased crypto. this protects you in the future when / if you want to cash out.

[Anonymous No.18688190]

>>18687883
i would advise against kraken to xmr as the only step, but if OP is comfy w that thats ok i guess. the IRS tries to trace this stuff pretty hard and will look at price on bought date vs sold date, better to have the one that shows up be a stable coin that wont go up in value or just purchase in cash in the first place.

[Anonymous No.18688229]

>>18686873
a boss i had long time ago when i was a kid, did this.

1 day told us to leave a couple shovels, rakes, etc and a wheel barrow. etc.

we found the spot.
he buried it in a mulch bed and put a bench over it.

probably 7+ years later he dug it up.

it was somewhere between 50-500grand
this was when nextels chirping was a thing.

[Anonymous No.18688315]

>>18685662

Pro tip you need to have a "fall wallet". What I mean is in the event of a divorce by the time you get to it crypto will be more mainstream and common place. Lawyer and the like will know to ask about digital assets, especially if you have ever even remotely mentioned it to your future wife. You need to launder the main stack incredibly heavy and have a much smaller stack on stand by you can offer and say this is it. That's all there is etc

[Anonymous No.18688332]

>>18686873
I had an accounting instructor who said something similar
>his former coworker sets up a registrars office
>hires 20 people to do mundane paperwork
>makes standard deductions from paychecks
>keeps all the money for himself in cash
>gets caught, goes to court
>says he's an alcoholic gambler and lost it at casino
>his only asset is his house, government puts a lien on it
>as long as his wife lives there he gets to keep it
>doesn't go to jail
>sets up company in his son's name
>does the same thing all over again

[Anonymous No.18688350]

>>18686947

Honestly OP if you can do it cash local that would be basically impossible to find by any lawyer, your wife, banks etc. This is basically 100% legit but carries the risk the person you bought from might try something sketchy. Otherwise you can basically claim they are lying and you don't know them and it will just be hidden away on your hardware. I seriously can't think of anyway this isn't legit

[Anonymous No.18688390]

>>18687883
>it's safer if anon executes this slowly. large withdrawals are harder to explain.
Yes, OP should withdraw $9000 increments per month because $10k is reportable and creates a paper trail. Also OP, in case you're actually thinking of doing that, it's a federal crime called "structuring" in the US. Just buy your monero and call it a day or get a prenup like everyone else that wants to shield their wealth coming into a marriage.

[Anonymous No.18688560]

>>18685662
I don’t see how the feds will be able to trace your monero. Unless they physically have your wallet how can they prove anything? Even if you buy directly from kraken, you can say that you later went on bisq and bought other coins and that was that.
Frankly, you are only going to get attention if you are putting a massive amount of money into exchanges. So just avoid putting in over 10k to centralized exchanges. Also, use local monero or bisq if you are really paranoid.
And lastly, don’t tell your wife about your crypto.

[Anonymous No.18688707]

>>18686873
Because cash is constantly depreciating and monero, though extremely volatile, is increasing in value exponentialy.

[Anonymous No.18689270]

>>18685693
I second this. That is definitely a man.

[Anonymous No.18690417]

Remember in community property states everything earned pre marriage is your separate property, regardless if you later get married without a prenup.

The trick is, make sure you wife or husband makes more money than you Anon. You have little to fear in that regard since the balls on your court.