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/biz/ - Business & Finance

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18285450 No.18285450 [Reply] [Original]

My test came positive, Corona-chan has kissed me. This might be it for me, frens. I am slowly suffocating. Started as a slight shortness of breath yesterday.
The doctors won't see me because I'm too young and "not at risk".
Have fun with the golden bull run, I'm going to take a nap.

>> No.18285464

lucky bastard

>> No.18285470

>>18285450
post results or stfu

>> No.18285488

>>18285450
Kissed by fortune, if you survive (high probability if young) you get a free immunity card.

>> No.18285575

>>18285488
like we all are immune to influenza?

KEK

>> No.18285664

>>18285575
Immunity expires in a matter of months

>> No.18285703

>>18285450
>be me, a kissless virgin
>get kissed by corona-chan whoa also kissed a girl

"See ya later, virgins!"

>> No.18285948

>>18285488
If you count a fucked up lungs as immune then sure.

>> No.18285957

>>18285450
just fast bro

>> No.18285959

>>18285450
welcome to the team lad. once we are immune we will be king of normies

>> No.18285960

>>18285450
told you not to go out dumbass

>> No.18285977

>>18285488
There's totally not 8 different strains of corona and there's no way it can permanently damage your lungs! Get out there and breathe in the coof!

>> No.18285985

>>18285450
don't take ibuprophen and absolutely don't take cortisone meds

>> No.18286013

I just hope there was a way to reliably test for existing Corona-chan antibodies, so it's not something I'd have to worry about and could just cash out going out and working like a madman, having a huge advantage on the rest of the population.

>> No.18286236

>>18285450
please stream yourself Anon
I want to offer you comfort in your last moment

>> No.18286279

>>18285450
Stay safe fren im praying for you

>> No.18286353

The ratio of active cases and closed where at some point 50/50
Now with the help of Muttmerica there are 4x the cases.
Thank you

>> No.18286434

>>18285450
If you survive, you are going to be a valuable commodity. Governments are going to come after your plasma. Also, how are you going to cope with all the Girls hitting you up?

>> No.18286443
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18286443

may god bless you with all his power, fren

>> No.18286466

>>18285450
God speed anon

>> No.18286672
File: 418 KB, 1079x1476, IMG_20200405_024616.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
18286672

>>18286013
There are supposedly home test kits now (rapid antibody test kits), but then where I'm from, they're regulating it so that you can only use these test kits "in the presence of medical personnel" (thus risking getting isolated and quarantined), and not being able to test yourself in the comfort of your own home (which the tests were originally made for anyway).

The regulatory page says they have marked it with the following

> This product is strictly for medical professional use only and not intended for personal use.

>> No.18286793
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18286793

>>18285450
good byebye

>> No.18286832

>>18285488
No you don't, idiot

>> No.18286845

>>18285450
larp
we all new corona is fake news at this point

>> No.18286907

>>18285450
How did you even get tested? I couldn't get tested because my symptoms aren't severe.