I wasted my life being mentally ill

[Anonymous No.16603685]

I hid in my room for years. I worried about tons of scenarios and situations that never even came close to happening. I had panic attacks fearing I’d see people I used to know, having to explain to them why I was such a loser. My heart still races when I hear the phone ring or a doorbell. I secluded myself from everyone, I ghosted everyone I knew.

My life has been wasted and lost for no reason at all, I was scared of things that never happened. I avoided anything that could’ve made me normal.

[Anonymous No.16603695]

>>16603685
Right there with you

[Anonymous No.16603707]

>>16603685
maybe. what if you got killed in one of those situations? my point is you know nothing. stop stressing and have fun, there tons of more people who are more retarded then you.

[Anonymous No.16603708]

>>16603685
It's alright anon, we're here with you. The next room over.

[Anonymous No.16603713]

>>16603685
Same. I'm 30+ and better now but my 20s were wasted. I was too scared to do anything and always worried everyone disliked me. I hated the doorbell or phone and hid a lot. Only through forcing myself into situations that made me nervous over years did I get better.

[Anonymous No.16603729]

>>16603685
There’s no better time than now to turn it around. Find the right medicine for you, work out, make an effort every day to expand your comfort zone. Any time you find yourself in a situation where you’re on the fence between yes and no, just override and pick yes.

[Anonymous No.16603736]

It is never too late frens. I used to be like this but Im slowly changing. Might become a wagie next year so I can afford cool stuff.
As long we are alive there is still a chance

[Anonymous No.16603748]

>>16603685
and now your gonna waste your life on thinking about that time

[Anonymous No.16603755]

>>16603685

[Anonymous No.16603763]

Stop giving a fuck and start lifting.

[Anonymous No.16603766]

>>16603685
other anons are right, there are a lot of ways. Therapy is not a bad idea too because it kind of forces you to interact without having to feel like you need to impress the therapist.
Working out at home is good too, just to get your mood up. Buy some of those locking foam rubber floormats like the black ones, a pack of six is like 25 on amazon. Do sit ups, pushups.
Grow some house plants succulents whatever
A job might help you have to interact, or classes or something. I find that when I start doing just little bits of exercise during the day I feel better. Any natural areas near you? Go for a walk.

[Anonymous No.16603778]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7nkrzI9GwNk

this will help you, anon.

[Anonymous No.16603938]

>>16603685
i can't remember the last time i got a text or snapchat that wasn't from a family member

[Anonymous No.16604036]

>>16603685
You can't change the past OP, it's done.
A small consolation should be you now have the clarity to see your locking yourself away and paranoia was 'a waste' as you put it. That's good, that's better than still making the same mistake.
But when you regret the past you end up fucking up twice or more, because not only have you made the mistake, you waste more time regretting it.
Obviously I'm not for a second saying
>lol brah, just don't regret, its so ez
but what I'm more telling you is to toughen the fuck up and take upon yourself the mental challenge of trying to reduce the amount of time you spend regretting.
What would be even better is if you just focus on the future, small goal that are both realistic to start, but have clear milestones or outcomes that will give you confidence.
Yes it's hard. Yes you'll fuck up. Yes there will be moments where you'll feel like a failure.
Just remember that's normal, but your persistence makes the real difference long term.
What would you like to do now? Where can you start? What's something small that would make you proud?
TL;DR - Don't do regrets, you already did it, no point regretting. Just set small achievable goals to regain your confidence.

[Anonymous No.16604092]

>>16603685
Nothing changes when you overcome this shit. Over time you develop coping skills to keep you out of the negative loops, and you gain understanding from the real world that eliminates what you perceive to be a constant sense of uncertainty. However and ironically, your anxious internal state is just an experience of certainty that you create for yourself; you will have the same amount of dissatisfaction and unease when you have all your ducks in a row, because that too generates a sense of terrifying certainty, though it appears different on the surface from your current problem.

[Anonymous No.16604097]

My asscrack has been bleeding for 18 months and I'm tired of having to keep toilet paper in my crack and wipe the blood out of my asscrack every couple of hours

[Anonymous No.16604131]

>>16603685
Same story here fren.

You aren't alone in being alone

[Anonymous No.16604135]

>>16603685
protip noone gives a fuck about anyone unless its themselves. People only talk shit about other people to eachother because they are insecure about their own past. I couldnt care less if you had a datsun or lambourghini in your driveway.

[Anonymous No.16604140]

>>16604097

[Anonymous No.16604142]

>>16604097
based

[Anonymous No.16604143]

>>16604097
are you a fatass who never washes? why is this happening to you?

[Anonymous No.16604153]

you can't change shit. time machines arent real. everything happens for a reason. you are exactly where/who you are supposed to be. you are meant to have this realization at this point in time...now what are you going to do about it?

[Anonymous No.16604156]

>>16604097
is this true? I cant believe, what kind of diseases youve got?

[Anonymous No.16604157]

>>16603685
LMFAO

[Anonymous No.16604166]

>>16604153
He heard himself crying out: Never, never! Or was it: Verily I come, I come to you? He could not tell. Then as a flash from some other point of power there came to his mind another thought: Take it off! Take it off! Fool, take it off! Take off the Ring!

The two powers strove in him. For a moment, perfectly balanced between their piercing points, he writhed, tormented. Suddenly he was aware of himself again. Frodo, neither the Voice nor the Eye: free to choose, and with one remaining instant in which to do so. He took the Ring off his finger.

[Anonymous No.16604171]

>>16603685
People like us don't gain confidence. And we certainly don't succeed with a "i have 0 fucks" attitude.

We burn out the part of our brain that gets embarrassed, and we act the way a confident person would act because it benefits areas of our life.

[Anonymous No.16604178]

>>16604171
to add to this. Read Blood Meridian and don't be a liberal unless virtue signaling gives you money or faking it helps you gain friends in a heavy blue area like DC or NYC

[Anonymous No.16604181]

>>16604171
>We burn out the part of our brain that gets embarrassed
this has been my experience exactly, things are improving as a result

[Anonymous No.16604202]

Welcome to the club. Find god and better your life. Literally nothing matters except what you can touch.

[Anonymous No.16604203]

>>16603685
Ive met school friends like that who are more successful than me. It was horrible and haunts me even now years later. Trust me You did the right thing

[Anonymous No.16604261]

>>16604143
No, I'm fairly fit and underweight but I take massive shits and I took one so big 18 months ago that it ripped my asscrack.
It's called a perianal hematoma. Then I got another perianal hematoma 6 months later about an inch or so above that one.
Then sometime thos year one healed on it's own and the other one became a perianal abscess and leaks blood and puss all the time.

I've got much worse health problems but those are out of my control. I'm so tired of having blood and puss in my asscrack.
I havent gone to the doctor because I dont want him looking all up in my asscrack snd cutting it with a scalpel.

>>16604156
It's true :(
Google perianal hematoma and perianal abcess

[Anonymous No.16604270]

>>16603685
are you fat OP?

[Anonymous No.16604281]

>>16603685
I have wasted at least 10 years of my life being a hardcore procrastinator as of now.

[Anonymous No.16604283]

>>16604261
go to the fucking doctor you pussy, i thought i had cancer in my ass and had to get a camera shoved like 6 inches up my asshole, it was profoundly embarrassing and painful but the peace of mind of knowing i didn't have cancer changed my life

[Anonymous No.16604285]

>>16604097
pilinoidal cyst

[Anonymous No.16604297]

I just took the 3 scares out my asscrack and put in 3 fresh ones, pic related.
I cleaned the blood up and put those last 3 squares in my crack only an hour ago. Hi /biz/, this is my life.

[Anonymous No.16604307]

>>16604171
how do we expedite this burn out?

[Anonymous No.16604314]

>>16603685
Based and hermitpilled

[Anonymous No.16604321]

>>16604307
social risk exposure, high quantities of failure for good measure

[Anonymous No.16604331]

>>16604307
>>16604321
also overthink everything, analyze every mistake you make in a social context until your skull hurts, eventually you stop giving a fuck

[Anonymous No.16604333]

>>>/r9k/

[Anonymous No.16604336]

Man this thread turned gross. Get out of here and go to the hospital you fucking AIDS patient.

[Anonymous No.16604337]

>>16604321
+1
Psyching yourself up in the mirror only goes so far, you need to fail in the real world a few times with your attempts to be confident before you can start not giving an actual fuck because embaresment becomes you background radiation normal.

[Anonymous No.16604343]

>>16603685
everyone does this anon, you're not mentally ill.

[Anonymous No.16604354]

>>16604297
>Hi /biz/, this is my life.
only because you refuse to see a doctor. no sympathy for you today.

[Anonymous No.16604423]

>>16604270
No, I’m not, I work out a couple days a week but I can’t really be bothered with it anymore. I have no energy.

[Anonymous No.16604439]

>>16603708
Fuck that, I’m watching him through his webcam from the comfort of my couch. Nice hair OP

[Anonymous No.16604478]

>>16604423
is this it then? have you lost hope?

you statistical anomaly sitting there in a dark room wondering why everything in this world went so poorly just to him

what now /biz/raeli?

[Anonymous No.16604595]

>>16604261
have you tried carnivore diet?
that's a lot of fiber in that there shite

[Anonymous No.16604603]

>>16604261
Dude what the fuck

[Anonymous No.16604615]

>>16603685
Learned from mistake. Now build new life.

[Anonymous No.16604636]

>>16604261
Try a 24 hour fast every couple of days. Stop eating so damn much and go to the doctor

[Anonymous No.16604653]

Its sad that some people really do feel this way. OP however is a kike shilling demoralisation.

If you are legit mentally ill there are literally thousands of ways to overcome it but they all involve trying. It's not easy. It sucks but it's possible and you will become someone more capable then 90percent of normie fags cos you've seen the darkness ...

I love u anons.

[Anonymous No.16604665]

>>16604603
Go to a doctor you idiot
I cant believe some of the characters I share this board with lol
I know its 4chin but god damn, thats gross. We can do better

[Anonymous No.16604670]

>>16603685
Holy fuck this describes me perfectly.

[Anonymous No.16605200]

>>16603685
Im the same as you. im 31 boomer now and getting better, i started lifting. it helps.

[Anonymous No.16605649]

>spend years fucking my life up
>oh shit why does my life suck boo hoo
just like trannies, two sides of the same coin

[Anonymous No.16605692]

>>16604097
buy coccyx cushion this shit really works

[Anonymous No.16605696]

>>16604261
Kek wtf u literally ripped your butthole

[Anonymous No.16605703]

>>16604097
I think I had this when I was travelling, it was fucking weird but it went away on its own.
https://www.webmd.com/digestive-disorders/anal-fistula-overview

[Anonymous No.16605709]

>>16603685
There’s an anxiety pandemic fren.
Honestly don’t feel bad, the world has evolved faster than us and it’s only gonna get worse. You have to get out in nature, hike, camp, learn to hunt.. like others have said, exercise and lift.
Diet also will help. Try all this before pharmaceuticals, and try mushrooms before pills.

[Anonymous No.16605719]

>>16604171
>We burn out the part of our brain that gets embarrassed

I did this and it was indeed effective but the downside is that I can't feel happiness or any other emotions that I used to be able to feel as a result. I have become an NPC.

[Anonymous No.16605720]

>>16603685
Right there with you, OP. The hikikomori phenomena has spread worldwide. I'm guessing we're the unseen casualties of zero sum capitalism.

[Anonymous No.16605731]

>>16604595
this. whats that gritty looking stuff

[Anonymous No.16605733]

>>16604166
based

[Anonymous No.16605756]

>>16605720
>>16603685
You are weak and have given in to modern easy dompanine hits. Ask yourself what would you do if 4chan, instagram, facebook, youtube or whatever other entertainment platfform on the internet didnt exist.

Cut out all electronics and sit in your room until you feel the urge to go out.

Also take the fren pill. Be nice to everyone, even people who are mean to you. It will make you happier as a person.

[Anonymous No.16605773]

Literally me except I don't even feel bad about it. Hikki life isn't bad just empty and uneventful.

[Anonymous No.16605777]

>>16605773
Trust me it's bad
Even though you get used to it

[Anonymous No.16605782]

The only person who called my phone in 2019 was my mom.

[Anonymous No.16605798]

>>16604261
Hahahaha. I got it the other way 15-20 bloody shits everyday. I shit my pants twice a day on average

[Anonymous No.16605813]

>>16605756
>You are weak and have given in to modern easy dopamine hits
I have a good grasp of psychology, and I'm pretty sure it's some type paranoia neurosis evolved out of feelings of inadequacy and failure. The constant avoidance is a defence mechanism that does a lot of damage in the long term. While the electronics is merely just a digital escape from everything, thus being a symptom, and not the problem.

[Anonymous No.16605823]

>>16605756
>Ask yourself what would you do if 4chan, instagram, facebook, youtube or whatever other entertainment platfform on the internet didnt exist.
Probably draw or write meaningless drivel. Go for walks then get depressed that I live in the same shitty suburban neighbourhood with no culture.
On the flip side I'd talk to less friends, wouldn't have a means to say "hey dude, want to get a beer" "hey sweetie, can I come see you after work?" without FB.

[Anonymous No.16605833]

I wasn't like this before but my mind broke and now I hear voices and hide in my room 98% of the time. I go see a doctor tomorrow, it's been a year since it started
>>16604343
Everyone on the internet all the time maybe. I wasn't like this before and know plenty who aren't like this

[Anonymous No.16605874]

>>16603685
You think its bad nowm just wait tille the boomers die. Its over then. We are all going dooooooown

[Anonymous No.16605894]

>>16603685
I have gotten to the point where I just don't care any more. I do what I am told (job, etc.), I come home every night, browse 4chan, go to sleep. Just biding time until death's sweet release.

[Anonymous No.16605928]

>>16604423
Suddenly being more down than usual and having less energy during winter sounds like seasonal affective disorder. Go to a doctor and get your bloodwork done. look at your vitamin D

[Anonymous No.16605961]

>>16603685
I have been locked up for almost 18 years in a dark noisy cold room by narcissistic boomer scum. I have experienced also the exact same feelz as you Fren, also much worse things, did you also happen to be raised by narcissistic parents?

[Anonymous No.16605970]

>>16605894
were you raised by narcism boomer scum?

[Anonymous No.16605992]

>>16603685
Show portfolio.

[Anonymous No.16606006]

>>16603685
>fearing I’d see people I used to know, having to explain to them why I was such a loser
As long as you're friendly to people they won't mind that you're a loser. If anything people might avoid you if they see nothing to gain from wasting time with someone so powerless.

I had the same fear I can relate. I thought if I made it from crypto I would be able to say "I'm not a loser, I'm rich" but then I realised being known as crypto rich would only bring problems so I actually embraced and played up how much of a loser I was to deflect any suspicions that I was crypto rich. Now crypto has crashed and I am actually a loser again but it's not such a big deal.

[Anonymous No.16606008]

Kys

[Anonymous No.16606014]

>>16606006
lol you are me

[Anonymous No.16606016]

>>16604097
>I havent gone to the doctor because I dont want him looking all up in my asscrack snd cutting it with a scalpel.
Death of the dumbest coming true?! Excellent. Enjoy having your body ravaged by inevitable infection

[Anonymous No.16606047]

>>16604036
Please stop using one sentence per paragraph and never any white spacing I can't read this

[Anonymous No.16606088]

>>16603685
Based but I bet you don't go days without speaking as often as I do

[Anonymous No.16606090]

>>16606014
I want to say yes but actually I was raised by fairly good gen x parents.

[Anonymous No.16606112]

>>16605719
Exact same thing happened to me, feels really weird, as if I'm a completely different person.

[Anonymous No.16606113]

>>16606088
what's your longest non-speaking streak?

[Anonymous No.16606115]

>>16606016
As I see it he has two options: a) stop shitting, b) stop bleeding.

[Anonymous No.16606116]

>>16606090
were you bullied then? if not, maybe it's something in your brain, your reptilian fight or flight aspect of it

[Anonymous No.16606119]

>>16603685
what are you, gay?
pls respond

[Anonymous No.16606149]

>>16606113
not sure, only a few days. Still probably isn't very healthy though, only speaking a few times a week.

[Xanaxanon No.16606156]

>>16603685
Me too man. Aint your fault tho. Brain badly wired. Xanax helps

[Anonymous No.16606162]

>>16606116
I think this guy nailed it >>16605813
And it feeds on itself. The more you avoid socializing/uni/girls, the further behind you fall until you're full on hikikomori. Then if you still have very high expectations of yourself you need some kind of radical moonshot like crypto. Otherwise you need to take stock, embrace lower expectations and go from there. It's like lowering the difficulty mode and now you get a prize just for acknowledging someone on the street.

[Anonymous No.16606184]

>>16606149
speaking a few times a weer is a lot for me

[Anonymous No.16606189]

Tezos will save us

[Anonymous No.16606215]

>>16606156
Xanaxanon it does help but the withdrawals off benzos are worse than heroin. Lasts much longer.

[Anonymous No.16606224]

there will be a day,
when our "gift of life".
will be taken way,
when there will be no more strife,
tears of pain shall be washed away,
sorrow no more,
cause our "gift" has been taken,
swallowed into the eternal void,
where the mystery of life was born,
so thus shall we return,
all that echoes in eternity,
is us being Frens,
you and me...

[Anonymous No.16606240]

>>16603685

install Gentoo

learn to code

[Anonymous No.16606253]

>>16604423
How old are you?

[Anonymous No.16606272]

>>16603685
>I avoided anything that could’ve made me normal.
You are normal to me, bro. Life has nothing to offer but suffering and dissatisfaction.

[Anonymous No.16606305]

>>16606224
wut

[Anonymous No.16606412]

>>16606240
Back to /g/. Buy kneepads, OP. The perfect way for a /biz/nessman to break out of his comfort zone and get some human contact.

[Anonymous No.16606509]

>>16605970
I've seen this theory posted a few times on 4chan. Why did you ask him that question?

[Anonymous No.16606512]

>>16603685
And? So?

More resources for me lol

[Anonymous No.16606521]

>>16606272
Bullshit, not when you're getting sucked off by a chubby qt

Keep watching porn though and playing bing bing wahoo

[Anonymous No.16606554]

>>16603685
On /biz/ going out of your room is for losers. Real winners are NEETS, who make millions buying memecoins without leaving their parents basements.

[Anonymous No.16606606]

>>16606521
Is this all that your life boils down to? Fucking normalfags, your life is even shittier than ours

[Anonymous No.16606748]

>>16603685
back to /r9k/

[Anonymous No.16606856]

>>16606606
>IGaY

[Anonymous No.16607176]

>>16605782
Based mommas boy

[Anonymous No.16607270]

>>16604261
I had a shockingly hard shit last week, I was dripping with sweat and pretty sure i tore my asshole. I thought i might end up dying like Elvis. Thankfully though the shits since have been less and less painful.

[Anonymous No.16607274]

>>16604297
Get this taken care of. Do you think getting feces in your bloodstream is doing you any good? Protip: it's going to kill you.

[Anonymous No.16607282]

>>16604261
>I havent gone to the doctor because I dont want him looking all up in my asscrack snd cutting it with a scalpel.
Dude just go the fucking doctor.

[Anonymous No.16608253]

Same