>Work colleagues start discussing relationships and sex life

[Anonymous No.13551952]

[Anonymous No.13551958]

>colleagues start discussing investing

[Anonymous No.13551965]

>work colleagues

[Anonymous No.13551990]

>parents start talking about sex near me

[Anonymous No.13552001]

>>13551952
GUYS I KNOW THIS IS A SHITPOST THREAD BUT WW3 IS STARTING DOW DOWN 6000 POINTS AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[Anonymous No.13552015]

>coworkers start talking about weekend plans
>”hey anon what are you doing this weekend?”

[Anonymous No.13552016]

>Work colleagues start discussing

[Anonymous No.13552031]

>>13551952
>COLLEAGUES TRY TO TALK TO ME.
GO AWAY FUCKING NORMIES!

[Anonymous No.13552034]

>>13551952
>boss starts to undress

[Anonymous No.13552038]

>>13552001
pffft -400 points w/e, the plunge protection team is already performing their "open market operations"

[Anonymous No.13552055]

I just fucked a coworker on her break. AMA

[Anonymous No.13552060]

>Manager is a single cougar
>won't let go of my hand during the shake and looks deeply into my eyes

[Anonymous No.13552070]

>>13552015
tfw they don't bother asking anymore. it's a relief but brings pain at the same time.

[Anonymous No.13552081]

>>13551952
>colleagues ask what music you listen to

[Anonymous No.13552094]

>>13552015
Just tell them you’re working on becoming the next Jeff bezos/ Craig wright

[Anonymous No.13552178]

>don't know how to talk to people
>talk about suicide at my school, because people kill themselves every year
>room goes silent
>anon wtf is wrong with you, that's not funny

[Anonymous No.13552347]

>>13552081
> First day at new job
> Team has a "welcome lunch" every time they have a new hire
> Everyone eats together and towards the end they go around asking questions to the newbie as a way to get to know them
> Like 10 questions in "if you could see anyone living or dead, what musician would you want to see perform live?"
> Don't want everyone to know I'm an autistic faggot who listens to weeb shit and vaporwave garbage
> "Uh... Elvis P-Presley"
> Murmuring "ohhh good choice anon yea I never thought of that one"
> Fast forward to first happy hour
> Dive bar has jukebox
> "Anon... Anon they have Elvis on here. What's your favorite song by him?"
> Can't name any song except for fucking blue christmas

[Anonymous No.13552375]

>>13552347
lol'd

[Anonymous No.13552417]

>>13551952
>work in kitchen for six months
>see someone who used to work there in town
>"hey how you doing"
>"do I know you?"
>"yeah I worked at x place"
>..."you did?"

Tbh I feel like that's an achievement to be that invisible

[Anonymous No.13552564]

>>13551952
I don't know just lie.

Lying is not that hard.

You have to not give a single fuck about them, so you body language won't really betray you.

I regret that i didn't systematically lie during high school or early 20s.

Lie about everything. They are not worth the truth.

[Anonymous No.13552662]

>>13551958
Thats a sell signal

[Anonymous No.13552714]

lift weights, look manly and dress well and you can tell them how youre a virgin and spend most of your free time on the computer. i did it several times, people werent less fond of me afterwards.

[Anonymous No.13552804]

>>13552662
it really is

[Anonymous No.13552817]

>>13552034
"Craig, is that you?"

[Anonymous No.13552829]

>>13552081
Do you know who The Police are?

[Anonymous No.13552860]

>>13552060
Uh oh

[Anonymous No.13553081]

>>13551952
read this, all of you that work in an office environment
https://www.ribbonfarm.com/2009/10/07/the-gervais-principle-or-the-office-according-to-the-office/

[Anonymous No.13553181]

>>13551952
Yea. i've been there. When they start doing that you know your not gonna make it much longer. Pretty soon they will start asking you about your non existent social life outside of work and you'll have to make shit up. If they don't buy it they will quiz you on it later to see if your lies match the previous ones you've told so your whole work life from then on becomes a long drawn out lie that in the end. is unmaintainable. eventually you will slip up and they will catch it and call you out on it. Then your back in the unemployment line. This has been my life for the past 10 years.

[Anonymous No.13553665]

>>13553181
at least you have us, imagine in the past when you couldn't commiserate like this
cheer up, things can always get better

[Anonymous No.13553700]

>office party

[Anonymous No.13553710]

>>13553700
>when you post but forget the image

[Anonymous No.13553727]

>>13552347
I'm not gay but young Elvis was handsome as fuck. I'd want him alive just to admire how gorgeous he was

[Anonymous No.13553739]

>>13551952
pic related

[Anonymous No.13553752]

>>13551952
Just say "Heh I'm asexual"