/biz/ - Business & Finance

[Anonymous No.13353795]

Saving money is very important for anyone who wants to make it. Let's get a financial lifehack thread going. Here's mine: instead of paying hookers to sniff their assholes buy panties and sniff them after you rip a huge fart in them.

[Anonymous No.13353859]

>>13353795
Good one.
Also, instead of spending money on toilet paper, wipe your ass on your dirty clothes and linen. You are going to wash them after all

[Anonymous No.13353867]

>>13353859
This man is going to make it.

[Anonymous No.13353875]

>>13353795
Absolutely based, fren. Here's some advice...

Talk to random 70yo women and men at your grocery shops or at the bakery where you can sit down for a cake and a coffee. Ask them about their retarded health conditions and go for the elderly with alzheimers or dementia. Now tell them you can help them with groceries and you can exploit the shit out of them. I have 3 retarded boomers that forget that they paid me and pay me double or triple. Once I straight up robbed one annoying lady outside the store and took her food and money, next day she asks me when I can help next week. She completely forgot and I repeated it 4 times since. I spit on their back too, they can't hear it. I really found my niche desu. Free food and pay weekly.

[Anonymous No.13353905]

>>13353875
This is a serious thread.
We give tips on how to lead a frugal life and save money, not on how to scam the elderly. Please refrain from sharing such advice

[Anonymous No.13353908]

get all your water from public buildings' water fountains like a school or town hall. get all your paper plates and condiments from self serve restaurants

[Anonymous No.13353957]

If you smoke (which you shouldn't of course, but if you absolutely cannot kick the habit) do not buy cigarettes.
Invest some money in rolling papers (buy in bulk to save) and pick cigarette butts out of ashtrays outside any bar or restaurant.
You can make a new cigarette out of 4-5 butts and you can use the cotton from used ear buds as filters.

[Anonymous No.13353981]

>>13353875
Fuck you.

[Anonymous No.13354036]

>>13353908
I feel like this one isn't a joke and it makes me fucking sad. Just imagine you need money so bad that saving a handful of dollars + some cents is worth the time and effort it takes to do this shit. That's pants-on-head retard levels of poor-person logic.

[Anonymous No.13354048]

What's so fun about sniffing assholes? Holy shit, you fetishists are sick.

[Anonymous No.13354057]

>>13353875
kidding or not, kys degenerate

[Anonymous No.13354151]

Didn’t save what’s left after spending, spend what’s left after saving.

[Anonymous No.13354153]

>>13353875
found the nigger

[Anonymous No.13354161]

>>13354151
Don’t*

[Anonymous No.13354196]

>>13354036
Your missing the point with paper plates desu. No washing up which saves time and money down the line too. Plus you can use used ones to start fires. It's the gift that keeps on giving. If you aren't already keeping condiment sachets then you will never make it.

t. unironically lifted 30 cardboard cups from work today.

[Anonymous No.13354208]

>>13354036
it was a joke, no need to be sad fren. doing this in a school would probably get you arrested kek

[Anonymous No.13354300]

>>13353875
You need to immediately kill yourself now or God will do it for you.

[Anonymous No.13354340]

>>13354300
God is already dead

[Anonymous No.13354350]

>>13354151
This is the only important post in this thread. The psychological power of not using money already put away is very strong. Putting money in savings first is only thing between me and financial destruction from purchasing cookout for every meal.

[Anonymous No.13354374]

>>13353859
instead of wasting money on hydro to flush your shit or wiping your ass with toilet paper, shit yourself and then put on some cologne to mask the smell.

[Anonymous No.13354428]

So far what I do:
>shower every other day
>use toilet paper only if I have diarrhea, otherwise use water
>use DIY soap which lasts me 2+ months and costs me only 50 cents
>don't use ((((shampoo)))
>buy clothes only one time a year when they're on discount
>try to ask landlord/internet provider etc to lower the price every month before I pay the bills
>dumpsterdive every other day to get stuff for free
>never go to (((doctor))), just eat smashed raw garlic when you're eating sick
>do 72 hours water fast every weekend to save money on food
>steal neighbors' cats/dogs and then give them back once they offer a reward (if it's too low try selling the pet on craigslist first)
>shoplift expensive groceries every once in a while so it's not too suspicious (security doesn't mind if you shop there often)

That's about it, you can save around 10k a year if you do this stuff right.

[Anonymous No.13354467]

>>13354428
>try selling the pet on craigslist first
neck yourself psychopath

[Anonymous No.13354545]

>>13353957
based homeless man

[Anonymous No.13354560]

>>13354467
return to leddit moralfag

[Anonymous No.13354563]

>>13353875
Top kek

[Anonymous No.13354578]

>>13354467
back to >>>/PersonalFinance/

[Anonymous No.13354650]

>drive at night with your car lights off to save electricity
>only flush toilet after every 3 shits; piss down the shower drain-- save water
>shit in your garden--free manure
>get free toilet paper from the bathrooms of restaurants, college campuses, stores
>stock up on condiments and plastic cutlery from fast food restaurants
>spend $50 dollars on Costco membership and come to during peak hours of the free samples to get free food

[Anonymous No.13354673]

>>13354650
>>only flush toilet after every 3 shits;
>>shit in your garden--free manure

[Anonymous No.13354704]

>>13354673
Posted 2 options incase you dont have a garden

[Anonymous No.13354727]

>tfw only shower 2-3 times a week
>work from home so no commute
>volcel so dont spend money on roasties
>live with mommy so no rent

[Anonymous No.13354759]

>>13353875
>I spit on their back too
This is rich, man.

[Anonymous No.13354774]

>>13353875
If true unironically based

[Anonymous No.13354785]

>>13354650
>what is time value of money

[Anonymous No.13354794]

>>13353875
Based boomer slayer

[Anonymous No.13354827]

>>13354727
... You're literally me. Except I have vices.

[Anonymous No.13354833]

DONT SHOWER
DRINK YOUR PISS
EAT YOUR SHIT

[Anonymous No.13354838]

Find hobbies that don't involve substance abuse, heavy expenditures. This includes the vidya. Use your time productively, your waking hours should be spent working toward ways of having your money make itself in your sleep. If you live close enough to ride a bike for basic needs such as groceries, do so. If you work in an office carpool if you can but otherwise drive so as to remain clean and professional at work. Eat well but avoid expensive cuts or overly extravagant meals. Buy cheap cuts on sale and pre-cook/can or freeze meals ahead of time. Buy a reliable but used vehicle. Purchase a home within your means and do work yourself to improve its value for resale. If you choose to get married, prenup or no deal. Ensure your investments follow a healthy balance of high risk and lower risk, never invest in higher risk more than you can afford to lose. Realize your plans are set for 10+ years out, not tomorrow. Instant gratification is for gamblers and degenerates, but you should keep a certain level of decorum so you are not lumped in with the filthy and lazy.

[Anonymous No.13354852]

>>13353908
Don't forget jail

[Anonymous No.13354874]

>>13354560
t. never had a dog

[Anonymous No.13354905]

>>13354874
t. redditor

[Anonymous No.13354911]

>>13354827
I do smoke weed every now and then but buy it dirt cheap from a friend who gives me wholesale prices

[Anonymous No.13354915]

>>13354905
If that makes you feel better, Raahithya. If you're that morally bankrupt just rob people.

[Anonymous No.13354962]

>>13354838
>good advice
>no reply

typical /biz/

[Anonymous No.13355079]

>go to graveyard to pick up free flowers for your girlfriend
>also pick free candles from graveyard and use them for light instead of electricity

[Anonymous No.13355089]

>>13354704
Lol I really really wish human shit was decent manure

[Anonymous No.13355096]

>>13353957
good way to get herpies

[Anonymous No.13355112]

>>13354560
>>13354578
>no morals
kys three and four degenerates

[Anonymous No.13355161]

>>13353875
Kek laughing at these serious butthurt replies

[Anonymous No.13355175]

>>13354962

stop samefagging and kys

[Anonymous No.13355180]

>>13353875
Based and anti-boomer pilled

[Anonymous No.13355200]

>>13353875
Based, redpilled, and high IQ (>150)

[Anonymous No.13355213]

>>13355200
>>13355180

t.edgelords

[Anonymous No.13355333]

>>13353795
Absolutely based and redpilled

[Anonymous No.13355339]

>>13353875
Thats a good way to keep getting reincarnated back to earth as a pajeet.

[Anonymous No.13355369]

>>13353875

wtf did i just read

[Anonymous No.13355492]

Ok I will give a serious answer.
>Don't move out for 3-4 years after getting a job (no food costs, no bills to pay)
>Cook (Don't eat out)
>Water bottle (buying water is the most cuck Jew thing you can do)
>Wet shaving with a safety razor (really)
>Pocket pussy (really. Or get a non toastie gf)
>If you drink, make your own wine with grape juice and yeast (look it up on /diy/)
>Exercise bands (instead of gym)
>Invest in debt or commodity index funds
>Grow mushrooms in your room (really)
>Waterbottle in flush tank (displaces water, saves money)
>Donate cum, buy BTC with the money
>airdrops (sometimes they pay up)
>Bicycle instead of car when you can(keeps you /fit/ and rich)
>hunt pigeons instead of buying chicken (really, same shit) use an airgun or a slingshot
>Assemble your own PC (look up tutorial on yt) instead of getting a laptop
>Buy cheap Chinese phone
>Don't change your phone every year
>Buy rental property with your savings and move out
>Live in your own rental property's backyard in a van or tiny house
>Get hipster chick Because you have a tiny house
>Airbnb your property or rent to non niggers.

That's all

[Anonymous No.13355689]

>>13355175
check the IDs newfriend.

[Anonymous No.13355699]

>>13353875
Yea you doing do any of that. You barely leave your room

[Sage No.13355766]

>>13354036
I had some friends whose parents got laid ofd and onky the mome could find work as a cashier afyer, they would only ever have McDonald's and pizza joint napkins in the bathroom instead if TP. It's sad but some people unironically are forced to do this one.

[Sage No.13355854]

>>13355492
>bicycle instead of car when you can

This one is huge. I spend like 200 bucks less a month during the summer just biking places instead of driving.

A smart Russian I met at work took is a step further and cancels his auto insurance for 8 months of the year and uses a $500 ebike with a gutted speed limiter. Gets up to 40 mph and you're not paying insurance or gas for two thirds of the year. Basically pays for itself in 3 months of use.

[Anonymous No.13355906]

>>13355854
Is that him? Srs

[Anonymous No.13356008]

>>13354036
Not that anon but I do get all my drinking water from fountains at school. Saves so much money.

[Anonymous No.13356318]

>>13353795
Kek everyone on biz supposedly makes 200k at 22 yet at the same time everyone steals toilet paper and doesn't flush to save pennies

[Anonymous No.13356510]

>>13354196
reduce your plastic use , you fucking swine

[Anonymous No.13356727]

Eat oatmeal with milk and put away 90% of your monthly paycheck (assuming your paycheck is at least $2,500) into stocks and you will have a million dollars within 3 years.

[Sage No.13356846]

>>13356727
Did the math for fun assuming generous 15% annual compounding interest and 2500/ month (2250 saved/ month) and only came out to 107k

[Anonymous No.13357087]

>>13356846
Yeah I messed my math up a bit, it's within 5 not 3.

[Anonymous No.13357235]

>>13356727
>I already put in $3200 per month in stocks and that isn't even 90% of my income.
>I'm 22 years old with 85k saved up.
>I was born into poverty.
>I didn't go to college.
>Just did pizza delivery and went straight into the trucking industry at 21.
...
How retarded does one have to be in order to be poor? I'm not even making a conscious effort to save it just... piles up.

And my income isn't even high.