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2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/biz/ - Business & Finance

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11515566 No.11515566 [Reply] [Original]

i'm an investment banker at JPMorgan Chase in NYC. shits wild here today. something big is coming. higher ups have been in meetings all day, several have taken spur of the moment vacations (presumably to use up vacation time). no communication from our manager this week at all. something big is about to happen, i advise getting out of the market right now.

good luck in the next week bros. im scared im going to lose my job.

>> No.11515583

>>11515566
>im a jew and i work for jews
>surely not trying to trick you
>heed my jew advice

for sure "xxxx"berg

>> No.11515588

Bitcoin is a bubble

>> No.11515598

>>11515566
Prove it. What bldg do you work in and what is your favorite lunch spot

>> No.11515600

>>11515566
same dude my dad works at deutche and he came home crying today im unironically scared af

>> No.11515601

>>11515566
yeet

>> No.11515602

>>11515566
in your estimation, what is that 'big' event?

>> No.11515603

>>11515566
Proof or kys

>> No.11515604

>>11515566
>i'm an investment banker at JPMorgan Chase in NYC
And you didn't see this shit coming like at all? Come on, what are you brainlets even doing there? Manufacturing some even more retarded type of derivative?

>> No.11515605
File: 97 KB, 500x442, always-do-opposite-of-what-jews-say-daily-reminder-25856237.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11515605

Daily reminder

>> No.11515608

proof or gtfo

>> No.11515609
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11515609

>>11515566
>>11515588
>>11515600

>> No.11515611

>>11515600
Prove it.

>> No.11515614

>>11515600
>same dude my dad works at deutche and he came home crying today im unironically scared af
nobody works at Deutsche anymore

>>11515604
I want to sell you this debt that this bank sold to me that I sold to them, good deal goy.

>> No.11515615

>>11515604
Lmao I honestly wonder sometimes if they do

>> No.11515623

>>11515600
He wouldn't have come home yet, larper. During days like this they at the office till late af

>> No.11515626

>>11515566
>several have taken spur of the moment vacations
why is this relevant?

>> No.11515637

>>11515611
hi this is anons dad thing are not looking good

>> No.11515641

At THE JPMorgan CHASE?!?!

>> No.11515646

My uncle is a director at one of the biggest bank in switzerland, maybe I should ask this fag how bad it is

>> No.11515650

>>11515626

Companies about to go under will have employees (management) suddenly using up all of their vacation days. Because why not?

>> No.11515652

>>11515566
12 ar10s
8000 rounds of 308
please tell me its time
please

>> No.11515655
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11515655

>>11515626
Because all of their cell phones are cut off because lost everything so totally isolated.

>> No.11515656

>>11515637
top kek

>> No.11515659

>>11515566
if trips dont go to stocks tomorrow

>> No.11515666

>>11515650
I suppose that makes sense but this seems a little sudden for JP Morgan.

>>11515655
wat

>> No.11515673
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11515673

>> No.11515681

>>11515650

The implication is no one wants to be around when it hits the fan

>> No.11515682

>>11515650
Give proof that you work for JP you moron

>> No.11515697

>>11515650
>suddenly using up all of their vacation days
Yeah but only 10 weeks left to use them and 8 weeks before Xmas and 4 weeks until thanksgiving break and shit is guaranteed tonstay volitile until at least the election so it is also a pretty fucking logical time to spend unused vacation days

>> No.11515699

>>11515598

no banker at JPM would ever put Chase in the name of their bank... no one wants to be associated with retail banking lul

>> No.11515710

I actually know a girl, who married some super rich old fart banker from London. Last year he told her that a major crisis is coming.

>> No.11515711

>>11515699

Exactly

>> No.11515715

so how do i make money off this

>> No.11515718

>>11515583

>so dumb that he just assumes everyone is trying to trick him

>> No.11515740

>>11515600
Same here bro, he wasn’t crying cuz my dad ain’t no little bitch, however, even worse he’s upper management and first thing he did was cancel our family vacation for Christmas this year which he’s never done once for the last 15 years, it’s a family tradition.

>> No.11515741

>>11515715
shorts

>> No.11515760

>>11515566
Interesting. I work for S&P.

A lot of our upper management is shifting attention to foreign markets.

>> No.11515769

>>11515566
>no manager communications for a week
Bullshit
>spur of the moment vacations in IB
Bullshit
>>11515650
JPM isn’t going under. They do it because everyone gets fired on a market downturn. Very common in banking

>> No.11515790

>>11515566
And just what did you mean by “manager”?

>> No.11515807

>>11515790

was literally about to post the same thing...

OP, next time you want to pretend to be in a front office role, call them a staffer. hope you are enjoying the view from Jersey City!

>> No.11515812

>>11515718
>so dumb he takes sight unseen business "advice" from a Mogadishian bracelet making forum

>> No.11515831
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11515831

>>11515740
I know those feels breh. My tranny mom/dad just cancelled xer order of meaningful beauty melon skin care cream and xhe never misses a session, so I know shits gotz to be goin down. For realz dawg.

>> No.11515871

My uncle works at Bitcoin.
He says all the administrative assistants were laid off today.

>> No.11515888

>>11515715
my dad unironically made a fucking ton of money today because he listens to Peter Schiff and bought a bunch of leveraged nasdaq puts back in the beginning of the month. Super proud of him right now watching this shit unfold. I talked to him on the phone and he says he thinks a dead cat is coming so he'll reload and wait for the big one.

>> No.11515939 [DELETED] 
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11515939

Best play to short the market? Is it SPXU? I know you can't hold this thing long term because of the leverage decay. Anything else worth considering?

>> No.11515940

Wendys chef here. Honestly scared shitless for my pension. Might use up my 10 weeks of vacation.

>> No.11515943

>>11515888
was thinking of getting puts for sqqq, some banks, and calls for abx. maybe ill find a real estate etf and get puts on tht

>> No.11515959
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11515959

>>11515566
What's a JP Morgan Chase investment banker doing on a Malaysian anthropomorphic marionette puppeteering forum?

>> No.11515963

>>11515659
>>11515666
Does this count?

>> No.11515977
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11515977

>>11515943
Baskin Robbins just downgraded it's future outlook to a paltry 18 flavors. The writing is on the fucking wall.

>> No.11516014

>>11515977
we are going to 8 flavors before this is over anon

>> No.11516018

>>11515977
two fking scoops

>> No.11516021

>>11515888
I'm jealous of your relationship. Congrats anon.

>> No.11516087

>>11516021
Well I post this a lot but my dad is a retired systems analysts who did his undergrad in stats and got a major in compci. HIs kinda of liberatarian but believes a lot of jew propaganda, despite being slightly woke on the Jews.

Anyway I've tried to get him to read the LInk whitepaper but he just won't do it. I made him a bitmex account and deposited btc for him but he wouldn't touch it. This from the fucking guy who lost mid 5 figures on $SNAP puts last year.

>> No.11516189
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11516189

>>11515566
dad is the ceo of the illuminati n he came home crying today lol, asked him if he raped/murdered another child and he said "no, i enjoy that! This is something bad!"

legit scared af rn

>> No.11516210

>>11515566
This is a larp I actually have a friend who works on wallstreet and he says that all the people there don't predict a major stock market dip until 2-5 years from now.

>> No.11516227

>>11515566
>i'm an investment banker
No you're not.
>something big is coming
No it's not.

>> No.11516234

>>11516210

They can’t predict it. They end up with their desk in a box out on the street corner

>> No.11516241

>>11516087
Your dad is based, lucky man

>> No.11516246

>>11515566
FUCK FUCK FUCK I CANT LOSE MY JOB

FUCKING MR SHLOMOBERG IS GOING TO FIRE ME!!!!!!!! I HAVE MY GIRLFRIENDS CAR TO PAY OFF STILL

>> No.11516300

>>11515566

oh yeah, you are an """investment banker""". that's what my dad used to tell girls at bars back when he was a teller in his 20's lmao

>> No.11516352

My dad works at Reptilian Aliens council and he came home crying today im unironically scared,

He told me to put all my money in monero

>> No.11516382

>>11515603
>>11515608
>>11515611
>>11515682

No proof huh OP???

>> No.11516428

>>11515600
omg your dad is such a pussy LOL

>> No.11516530

>>11515600
checked. your dad a pussy bitch confirmed.

>> No.11516849

get your shorts ready bros