/biz/ - Business & Finance

[Anonymous No.10868318]

>never had sex before
>begin to get curious what a blowjob feels like
>read some guides online about how to give myself a blowjob
>gained over 50 lbs since my younger days
>convince myself everything will probably be okay
>lay down a towel on my bed, lift my legs up above my head
>begin to walk my legs down backwards along the wall.
>lift my head up to suck
>hear a crack and immense pain real sharp pain.

That was yesterday. Guys I went to my chiropractor today and he said I pulled some muscle in my spine. I forget the name of it. Either way I really am scared here because I work in construction and I needed my body to be able to pay the bills. I am going to call in sick today and am dreading the phone call to my Forman.

I told my chiropractor I was lifting the barbecue up the back stairs with a friend. He said from his estimates I might be off work for as long as 2 months. I'm going to be fucking ruined if this happens as rent Is in 1 week.

I come to you guys today to tell me which coin I can go all in on for a quick x2. I have a total of $4000 left over from buying up at $16k per btc and have just held it for the long term. Is there a quick coin you guys can suggest I can double my $4000 into 8k? I usually come here because you guys know the answer to everything. So please tell me what to do.

[Anonymous No.10868342]

> lift my head up to suck
kek

[Anonymous No.10868352]

Civic

[Anonymous No.10868360]

Wow lad, this is like one of the few times that OP didn't suck dick.

[Anonymous No.10868369]

But did you successfully suck your dick though?

[Anonymous No.10868396]

Where exactly do you think you went wrong in the process? Was it the walking down the wall or lifting your head up? Let me know so I don't make the same mistakes, thanks OP.

[Anonymous No.10868413]

>>10868318
lmao
how old are you? are you 40?

[Anonymous No.10868416]

>>10868318
Why you people dont pay hookers WTF

[Anonymous No.10868431]

>>10868416
HE HAS NO MONEY

[Anonymous No.10868446]

>>10868318
I'm unironical a chiropractor. And when we have a young kid with backpain in the lower part of your back we know you tried to blow yourself

And we have a running joke, we usually said the ligaments are not allined due malfunction. That way the secretary knows you tried to give yourself head.

[Anonymous No.10868449]

>>10868318
Lmao how sad u gotta be to do this type of experimenting past age 13?

[Anonymous No.10868557]

This has gotta be a larp

[Anonymous No.10869128]

>>10868416
This
>>10868318
I'm still a virgin by my definition OP, cuz all I do is fuck hookers. But let me tell you something. It feels better to jerk off than to get a blowjob. Getting a blowjob is almost entirely the mental satisfaction of having your cock in a girls mouth. Next to your anus, the penis is the most vile part of your body, and also the most private. You don't show your cock to anybody, but she'd take it in her mouth and spend a half hour tiring out her jaw to just please you and bring you to into bliss. I barely know this feeling. I've had a few hookers I was sort of close to, where they would tell me I wouldn't have to pay, even though I always did. I could tell they enjoyed being with me at least a little bit and those moments felt much better than jerking it. If we are talking physical sensations, masturbation feels the same or better as cumming during sex. I know exactly how to jerk my dick to make it feel good. Its that blissful state of mind and self assurance that comes with a blowjob that makes it so good. The physical sensations might be heightened due to a positive emotional state, but they are underwhelming if you are curious.

[Anonymous No.10869157]

>>10868446
>lower part of your back

nice larp you dumb motherfucker

Trying to suck your own dick would result in upper back pain, around the neck area.

[Anonymous No.10869169]

>>10868416
how the FUCK are you suppose to PAY whore with no MONEY

[Anonymous No.10869170]

>>10868360
Heh

[Anonymous No.10869173]

>>10868318

Classic 4chan. Best part is that op is gonna have to come clean to the doc coz a friend of mine had too....otherwise you will get improper diagnosis

[Anonymous No.10869194]

>>10868318
invest in cheap knee pads and start earning that rent money. Plus you'll find out what giving blowjob feels like, it's a win-win.

[Anonymous No.10869211]

>>10868318
serious advice, not trying to shill bags:

Buy ripple. Worst case scenario it stagnates and you gain nothing. Best case it goes +50% in the next week or so.

Every other coin has too much potential downside based on TA and news cycles at this moment

[Anonymous No.10869229]

>>10868446
'allined'. yes I'd definitely trust this professional with my health

[Anonymous No.10869234]

>>10868318
I feel really bad for incels but the fact they are going to have to face is that they are simply inferior to men who are capable of getting laid. I'm not even talking about chads or dudes with good looking faces. There are dogshit ugly guys getting laid. You have to be completely worthless to get to this point in your life. All you can do is accept it and move on. Stop focusing on sex. Get castrated if you have to. It's not like you need your cock and balls for anything and it will get your mind off of things you can't have. Sex isn't even that big of a deal and it's heartbreaking to see so many of you losers wasting so much time and energy thinking about it when there are so many other productive things you could be doing with your time. There is no shame in throwing in the towel when you have no one to care about you.

[Anonymous No.10869251]

>>10869234
this. go on SSRIs and I don't even wake up with a boner anymore, I can 100% focus on work

[Anonymous No.10869252]

>>10869211
Alternatively, btc gets rejected at 7200-7300 and heads back down to 5800 whilst xrp follows the market accordingly.

Knee pads are probably his only option. If they know hes straight then they will pay more anyway.

[Anonymous No.10869269]

>>10868318
This has to be a larp. I'm betting on BAT. I believe it's at the bottom, and we only have upside from here. If Coinbase or Bithumb announce anything we could see a pretty significant pump.

[Anonymous No.10869290]

>>10869234
Pua here. Incels lack game and social comfort with women also social IQ so they dress like comic characters

They overthink too

[Anonymous No.10869327]

What does it feel like to suck cock OP?

[Anonymous No.10869350]

>>10869290
being able to do without thinking is a sign of master. this is shit advice

[Anonymous No.10869363]

I'll let you live with me if you do all the housework and suffer my degrading fetishes.

[Anonymous No.10869407]

>>10868318
Unironically buy Wysker/wystoken on Idex.

App release for Android and iOS is in 2 days. App is gonna be featured in iOS app store.
Market cap is smaller 5 million. This is the easiest x100 of your life and can get you a x2 within days.

Not joking I'm serious.

Just look at Wysker.com for a preview

Next time pay a hooker for a blowjob or use a pool vacuum cleaner

[Anonymous No.10869409]

Chiropractors are not actual doctors, they cannot diagnose injuries. Don't believe that retard and go to an actual doctor.

[Anonymous No.10869484]

>>10869407
shoo shoo pajeet

[Anonymous No.10869490]

>>10869234
The thing is tough although i don't want to sound like an incel. The standard of men rose so high that women demands regarding men rose disproportionally to everything ever seen. And this is also pushed by (((them))) hip hop culture and the general materalism the youth nowadays faces. 1950 you could get laid / get a partner/ wife if you were alive and by having a dick. Literally millions of men all over the world did in the war. If you came home there was just no way that you could not find a wife/girl. Then the standards rose boomers in general were able to find women even tough the were nerds it didnt matter if you went to college you were worth something.

[Anonymous No.10869495]

>>10869407
I'm actually happy to see you're back froind. Still haven't given up with the project, congrats on that seriously. Say hi to your friend tobias! CEO, dr., and all those titles have inflated to zero in my eyes an you have played a big part in the process, cheers!

[Anonymous No.10869496]

>>10869484
at last I truly see

[Anonymous No.10869574]

I got the head of my dick in my mouth a few times when I was younger. Didnt feel that great. Dont think I can quite reach it anymore, and I was only able to get the head in with considerable effort.