/biz/ - Business & Finance

[Anonymous No.10826843]

Im 33 years old, /biz/. Why dont I like this?

[Anonymous No.10826874]

>>10826843
U need dat sugar free

[Anonymous No.10826891]

>>10826874
>>10826843
monster. if it aint white it aint right.

[Anonymous No.10826905]

>>10826891
that only applies to women ;)

[Anonymous No.10826917]

>>10826843
Hi Chad here from monster marketing. Were forcing monster memes and threads because well we know you are all just drooling retards and we like the idea of you developing heart conditions drinking our vomit in a can. You're just the demographic we like Stacy and me were laughing about you over our decaf lattes the way that some posters here so want to belong they even repost our shitty forced memes thinking they are edgy. Enjoy your arrhythmia and stomach cancer. Love Bra and Stacey.

[Anonymous No.10826924]

>>10826874
S. Please use sip like its some edgy in reference to our shitty vomit based product. Please don't mention the FDA.

If you guys keep going Stacey is going to get a trip to Hawaii for her bonus!

Please don't think about vomit when you see our logo, think about being edgy newfags an now cool we are. But don't think about vomit heart seizures or bowel ulcers (we certainly don't that's your problem we never drink this vomit in a can). Thanks Brad and Stacey from the monster marketing team

[Anonymous No.10826930]

>>10826891
>>10826874

[Anonymous No.10826933]

>>10826874
This. Green one is shit. Drink the red or yellow sugar free.

[Anonymous No.10826943]

We carefully analysed the demographic we want to hit, sad retards who are in their teens and boy did brad hut the jackpot with the boomer holding the can. Stacey said BRAND AWARENESS so loudly she nearly fell of her inflatable exercise ball. The best bit is we love the idea of you doing our work for us. So all you sad lonely types looking to belong just do our work for us and post boomer memes with the monster logo in them. Please don't think about vomit when you think of our lovely logo.

[Anonymous No.10826948]

>>10826933
lease ignore stuff like this
https://www.ft.com/content/fa5e6d88-1c7e-11e2-ba75-00144feabdc0


"The US Food and Drug Administration said on Monday that five people may have died from consuming Monster Energy drinks, adding to fears about the safety of highly caffeinated beverages.Shares of Monster fell 14.23 per cent to $45.73 after the regulator said it had received five reports since 2004 linking the drinks to deaths. The company is already facing a probe in New York state over its marketing practices and ingredients."

[Anonymous No.10826954]

>>10826948
I drank 4 monsters a day for a year and didnt die. explain that.

Now i just drink a bottle of whiskey.

[Anonymous No.10826955]

That's why we think posting shitty forced memes here targeting demographics we might get in trouble for marketing to using other channels is a GREAT idea. Some people threatened to post our strategy document to Wikipedia. But fuck that were are going to keep going anyway because I mean who gives a fuck if you all get heart conditions and throw up every morning.

[Anonymous No.10826966]

>>10826954
The main thing is you SIP our lovely vomit, I mean energy drink. Don't think about vomit Think about being YOUNG and EDGY. SIP!

[Anonymous No.10826976]

>>10826954
>>10826954
>I mean who gives a fuck if you all get heart conditions and throw up every morning.

[Anonymous No.10826983]

Thanks Brad and Stacey from the monster marketing team

[Anonymous No.10826988]

>>10826948
Who gives a shit? I've drank one or two a day for like fucking 7 years. STILL ALIVE BITCH.

[Anonymous No.10826990]

BRAND AWARENESS
Please don't think about vomit when you think of our lovely logo.
Thanks Brad and Stacey from the monster marketing team

[Anonymous No.10826996]

>>10826988

[Anonymous No.10827117]

>>10826843
As much as ive tried to like this due to the Memes...

Monster and all other energy drinks are fucking disgusting.

Water is the best. So refreshing and pure. Tasty too unless you're a disgusting zoomer who only knows the taste of cola

[Anonymous No.10827130]

>>10826988
Imagine if you put all that money into crypto ...

[Anonymous No.10827132]

>>10827117
The main thing is you SIP our lovely vomit

[Anonymous No.10827193]

>>10827117

You don't drink Monster for the taste.

Nigger you drink monster cause you're fucking exhausted and haven't had a full nights sleep in months and you just need something that will shock your body into function for another 4 hours.

[Anonymous No.10827227]

>>10827193
you SIP our lovely vomit

[Anonymous No.10827409]

>>10827193
If you don't drink Monster for the taste, why don't you just take some fucking caffeine pills? Serious question.

This guy is kind of a fag and talks down to the viewers, but for brainlets it is a good watch:
https://youtu.be/sUuap8dP_Nk

[Anonymous No.10827415]

monster tastes like mountain dew piss.

[Anonymous No.10827643]

Energy drink of my choice this summer. Monster Ultra really has no matching quality against it.