/biz/ - Business & Finance

[Anonymous No.10094902]

>tfw you have £550,000 stuck in a bank account because (((they))) froze your account and won't release it.

cashing out is a meme, you can never cash out.

[Anonymous No.10094918]

>>10094902
>unironically talking like this
you're a sad little faggot, I hope you lose all your shekels

lol

[Anonymous No.10094939]

>shekels
>lol
I want to believe.

[Anonymous No.10094945]

>>10094918
t. poorfag

[Anonymous No.10094967]

>>10094902
Imagine the despair of that support agent
>wake up at 6am everyday in a rented room
>stuck in traffic for 40 minutes
>start your dull work as a bank support, paid ~$15/h
>random neet with £550k from crypto, more than you're going to save in your entire life of wagecucking asks you about 'my shekels'
>tfw eating a microwave dinner alone before sleeping and thinking about another day of doing customer support tomorrow

[Anonymous No.10095005]

>>10094967
stop this bruh
im gonna cry

[Anonymous No.10095010]

>>10094902
Nice larp phaggot

[Anonymous No.10095015]

>>10095010
>larp
I wish, I just got off the phone with a roastie who claims the fraud/investigation team are closed right now so have to wait till Monday, branch don't do anything since they can't tell you what's happening as we have a law where they can't "tip off potential criminals"

[Anonymous No.10095043]

>>10094967
Fuck all that, every faggot has a sob story. OP was probably a dung beetle in a past life. He's earned his shekels.

[Anonymous No.10095087]

>>10095043
>OP was probably a dung beetle in a past life

[Anonymous No.10095114]

>>10094902

I think you are LARPing but whatever.

Lad here in the UK if you are trying to move that amount of money in one go you literally just triggered every money laundering algorithim the kikes have on your account.

They are probably frantically trying to submit a SAR (suspicious activity report) to the financial crime agency in case they get fined for being bad goys.

[Anonymous No.10095120]

>>10095114

So what is the proper move? Prior to this transfer do you just contact your bank and let them know or what do you do?

[Anonymous No.10095132]

>>10095114
I ain't larping but yeah, they refer accounts to the National Crime Agency, all this bullshit happened when I had an argument with the branch manager, she came out and said she can't do anything now and I started saying you didn't do anything for 4-5 months when you were earning money on my account blah blah etc
1 day later I have a marker on my account, i think they've been bad goys too.

[Anonymous No.10095134]

>>10094902
You don't use Deutsche Bank, do you friend?

[Anonymous No.10095136]

>>10095120

Could have cashed out in increments of <10k across multiple different accounts with different banks over a few months instead.

[Anonymous No.10095138]

>>10095120
The proper move is not moving your shekels into the jew vault.

[Anonymous No.10095144]

>>10095136
I wanted to cash out during the ATH back in December, plus I only had 1 exchange account that I was fully verified and went though KYC/AML with so just went balls to the wall.

[Anonymous No.10095150]

>>10094967
I saw this once when I banked 500k in person (had to go in to create a new account etc. not 500k in physical cash). I had a hoody on with long unwashed hair. The look on the guy's face actually made me feel bad.

[Anonymous No.10095154]

use swiss banks you fucking morons

[Anonymous No.10095158]

>>10094902
>>10094945
>>10095015
>>10095132

I'm the dude that had that -888k freeze on my bank of america account, good news for me, I went there and they unfroze my account after making some phone calls. But i had to give them my divers license, SS card, US passport etc. Pretty sure they were profiling me or something

[Anonymous No.10095163]

>>10094967

He's probably a pajeet

[Anonymous No.10095164]

>>10095136
That's called structuring, do that and they'll get you for money laundering

[Anonymous No.10095166]

>>10095150
I went in there with tracksuit pants, long greasy hair and gym shoes, I had just left the gym and walked up to the counter and said I want to transfer £400,000 to my Fidelity account please and the black guy behind the counter kind of mumbled fou-four th-thosuands?

then he walked off to get the branch manager lol.

[Anonymous No.10095169]

>>10095144

Mate how much initial did you put in?

HMRC will be sniffing around for their Cap Gains tax next year.

Either way I think they have pretty tight deadlines for SAR turnaround.

[Anonymous No.10095174]

>>10095158
i remember you from my last thread BOA anon, glad you got it sorted.

[Anonymous No.10095203]

>>10095169
I bought in 2012 so under a grand, I already got my accountant to register me for my self-assessment and have what I owe.

I'm worried they'll freeze my other bank account too, I have like £100,000 in it since I have my ISA in there but I wanna transfer it to my Fidelity account too.

[Anonymous No.10095206]

>>10095174

So what happened with you, did you go to the bank yesterday? Still nothing? I was standing outside the door 20 minutes before they opened shitting bricks

[Anonymous No.10095235]

>>10095203

Glorious to see other Brit lads make it

How many Barrett Homes cuckboxes you gonna buy and rent out to normies?

[Anonymous No.10095236]

>>10095206
I went in there but the bank is shit and so compartmentalized that specific departments can't really get updated from each other, they just said I need to wait for a call from their investigation/fraud department and we have a shitty law where they can't give anymore than that otherwise they'll tip off "potential criminals"

[Anonymous No.10095249]

>>10095236

damn. I really hope you get it sorted out anon, really curious how it's going to work out. you should post an update if you ever get your shekels

[Anonymous No.10095261]

>>10095249
>if you ever get your shekels
th-thanks anon.

[Anonymous No.10095280]

>>10095261
Alright fess up, where did you sell your crypto?

[Anonymous No.10095303]

>>10095280
coinfloor

[Anonymous No.10095346]

>b-but I've b-been a l-loyal supervisor of the high street branch Barclays for years
>I've worked so hard to value our customers and make sure they get the right service
>H-how?? H-how can this scruffy looking NEET have access to this amount of funds?
>J-just how??? He must be a drug dealer on the internet, he just must be

[Anonymous No.10095407]

Sort of on topic. I received a letter from my bank last year requesting tax details and proof of residency with a deadline and had to be signed by an official or some crap.
I stopped depositing to that account and never heard anything back since. I really need to deposit some cash now. Would it be safe to deposit <$10k anons? Or should I open a different account?

[Anonymous No.10095413]

>>10095407
probably not, I wouldn't do it anon.

[Anonymous No.10095421]

>>10095346

[Anonymous No.10095439]

>in possession of revolutionaly technology that will end banks
>sells it and puts funds in the bank
>funds frozen by bank instantly
wonder why anon

[Anonymous No.10095444]

>>10095407

Are you UK or USA?

I know a lot of British lads got FACTA requests cause they contracted dev work etc. for American firms and the IRS thought they were fatclaps pretending to be UK residents to avoid US taxes.

[Anonymous No.10095446]

Which bank is that OP? Brit dumb lad here, who came in Crypto December ATH :(

[Anonymous No.10095466]

>>10095164
thanks for the tip IRS

[Anonymous No.10095488]

Seriously OP, I hope you lose all your money, you're a stupid cunt.

[Anonymous No.10095491]

>>10095154
anon what's your swiss bank called ?

[Anonymous No.10095492]

>>10095158
no, just complying with kyc/aml laws

>>10094902
same goes for OP. you need to provide ID for most dumb shit you do at a branch so that was normal regardless. what happened was a different department froze the funds which no requires more verification targeted towards kyc/aml

>>10095114
they aren't frantically trying to submit a report, a SAR is routine and they submit one the moment he left after the original transaction

[Anonymous No.10095495]

>>10095444
Damn. Well I move around a lot and happen to have received that letter after I changed my address to UK last year.
No longer there though. I'm thinking if I change my address back to non-UK residency, maybe they'll fuck off and I can continue using that account

[Anonymous No.10095510]

>keeping that much value in a bank and expecting to actually get it out with no issue from them.
damn, people are retarded. THE ENTIRE POINT OF CRYPTO IS TO BE YOUR OWN BANK. stop participating in their pozi racket

[Anonymous No.10095516]

>>10095444
Just occurred to me my company is based in the US, so I think you hit the nail on the head there anon!

[Anonymous No.10095521]

>>10095166

curious, what do you do?

[Anonymous No.10095528]

>>10094902
This is the most unprofessional way of talking i’ve ever seen. The bank should take away your 400k just for talking like this

[Anonymous No.10095533]

>>10095516

Yeah so it is up to you whether you fill out any shit.

Basically it is your bank that got the request from the IRS. There is an agreement with OECD countries for more info sharing for taxes etc. so the bank did it to tick a regulatory box.

If you are UK resident you can literally just ignore it.

[Anonymous No.10095547]

>>10095533
Can't thank you enough anon!

[Anonymous No.10095562]

>>10095533
I've got somewhere around $30k in back payments to cash out

[Anonymous No.10095579]

>>10095528
Rich people can talk however they want.

[Anonymous No.10095594]

>>10095547

Yeah I even heard of them dishing out requests to people who live in UK cities that also exist in USA - e.g. Boston, Cambridge etc. because of the IRS's shitty algo

[Anonymous No.10095599]

>>10095528
Clients have zero obligation to talk professionally to the businesses they're transacting with. He's not the one on the job, the bank representative is and what you're advocating would be the height of unprofessionalism.

[Anonymous No.10095665]

>>10095599
I reckon you're a fan of The Beverly Hillbillies.

[Anonymous No.10095671]

>>10095665
>bank clerk detected

[Anonymous No.10095688]

>>10095594
I'm contracted, so I can see why the IRS would assume it was tax avoidance in my case. I just didn't know they could issue one of these FACTAs through my bank though.

[Anonymous No.10095694]

>>10095164
>>10095466
I work for a bank and have to take money laundering training; actually don't even work at all with cash or deposits but still have to do it as an employee of the company. There are definitely a lot of ways to launder money and stay pretty much out of trouble. The people who get caught are always the biggest fucking idiots about it. Basically all they have to do is avoid making patterns, work with low amounts and have a bit of patience.

[Anonymous No.10095695]

someone make a version of this for this thread

[Anonymous No.10095696]

>>10095599
>tfw your bank representatives started calling you bro because they're trying a more informal approach to customers

[Anonymous No.10095764]

>>10095671
Done got you one dem fancy cement ponds mmhum.

[Anonymous No.10095807]

>>10095134
I-I cashed out once or twice with Deutsche Bank. Small number though, under 1k Euro. W-Why?

[Anonymous No.10095849]

Reminds me of good old time,

> Be 21 y.o me (few years ago)
> Affiliate marketing faggot
> On a net-60 plan, so gets paid for 2 months of work, every 2 month
> Average 50k per month
> Lump sum of 120k sent from another country
> Bank locks deposit
> Calls immediately
> "Hi anon I'm calling from bank. We can see you have a large incoming transfer of 120k$ here, we just need some follow up information to make sure it's all good"
> "Ok sure, happy to help"
(wasn't happy but need to be in good stand with bank if make good money)
> "So you are the correct recipient?"
> "Yeah, that's for me"
> "What is the money from"?
> "Some affiliate marketing. Sort of internet marketing, just like every other deposit I've got except I did good work"
> "Ok thank you for your time, enjoy your day"
> TFW when no follow up or proof was needed
> TFW deposit instantly available

[Anonymous No.10095860]

>>10095528
what the other guy said and also, it's not like he was saying fuck you to the service guy or some shit, just street talk. literally nothing wrong with that

[Anonymous No.10095877]

>>10095599
This guy gets it. Makes me wonder why people feel the need to change their behavior just because they make money. Hilarious.
You don't have to act like a fucking retarded boomer douche because you have money..

[Anonymous No.10095887]

>>10094902
Authoritarianism.

[Anonymous No.10095914]

>>10095150
>>10095166
what do you guys do?

[Anonymous No.10095956]

>>10095849

they just want to do just enough to be able to say "he told us it's xxx so we had no reason to assume it's not true!"

incase anything happens

[Anonymous No.10095962]

>>10095665
Was a decent show, movie was horrible.

[Anonymous No.10095988]

>>10095914
i work part-time retail wagecuck job.

[Anonymous No.10096004]

>>10095988

ok cobie

[Anonymous No.10096009]

>>10095956
Yeah, figured. AML. I also know in my country the banks are not the one to investigate crimes but they have an obligation to report it to the respective government entity of financial crimes so I guess they have done that on all of my large deposits but it's been years and nothing more than banks questions every now and then few years in between.

And then my bank account was from when I was a kid so I guess they take this into consideration that I have actively used it throughout my life with incrementally larger deposits.
Would probably be different if I was an immigrant not even living in the country make my first few deposits like this.

[Anonymous No.10096048]

>>10095164
>put money you earned through legal means means into several bank accounts
> this is illegal

Fuck it. No point cashing out if they're just going to steal my money

[Anonymous No.10096063]

>>10095491
give me an email ill tell you, I'm serious lol
but you need over $500k to get into it with KYC/AML process beforehand

[Anonymous No.10096105]

>>10094967
This is the best thing in this thread

[Anonymous No.10096110]

>>10095346
I'm concinced now that all the hoop jumping is made out of pure spite that NEETs are accomplishing what they took their whole lives slaving in OT and losing their relationship with their SO and kids to acquire

[Anonymous No.10096129]

>>10096063
pic related btw
still have plenty more to move though

[Anonymous No.10096272]

>>10095694
>work with low amounts and have a bit of patience.

And finally op will transfer his sum by the time he is 60


I feel your pain op. This bank bullshit is hurting all kinds of businesses

I m in real estate

[Anonymous No.10096306]

>>10095694
>Basically all they have to do is avoid making patterns, work with low amounts and have a bit of patience.
h-how low?
Asking for a friend

[Anonymous No.10096330]

>>10095150
I cashed out a house and withdrew 200k cash rather than let the bank hold it for 2 months skimming interest.
Fuckers did nothing but delay me all year on this sale so they could nickel n dime my money well fuck them. Had to hire an armed guard just to walk round the corner to a less shit bank

[Anonymous No.10096640]

>>10094918
>projecting this hard
Absolute state of jelly poorfags.

[Anonymous No.10096686]

>>10095695

[Anonymous No.10096751]

>>10096686
The original is funnier

[Anonymous No.10096847]

>>10094902
>he deposited 500k without calling the bank to let them know then argues with the branch manager
lol you're supposed to treat people that work at the bank like gold you retard they have their fate in your hands

[Anonymous No.10096853]

>>10096751
how'd you manage to post if you're completely blind?

[Anonymous No.10096862]

>>10096847
*your fate in their hands

[Anonymous No.10096872]

>>10096751
that's not the original newnigger

[Anonymous No.10096886]

>>10095988
>has 400k
>still works part-time in retail

kek nice larp anon

[Anonymous No.10096943]

>>10096063
FPB? Exepnsive as fuck though

[Anonymous No.10096960]

>>10094902
>£
>antisemitism
goyim pls watch your tone wouldn’t want to commit thought crime now would you

[Anonymous No.10096966]

>>10095914
Inheritance, don't consider me lucky though. I would give it all back for one more year with them. At least they set up my life for me.

[Anonymous No.10096981]

>>10094902
And yes I share your hate with the banks, I basically lost 300k because of the banking bullshit.
Started selling on New Years Eve and took fucking 5 months to get the funds to a bank account

[Anonymous No.10097190]

>>10096886
I have over 600k all together and not lying faggot, the live chat is Indian based and useless since they have limited access to the banks actual systems but sometimes I use it to check the status of my 'investigation' or complaint or w/e but mostly, it's pointless.

[Anonymous No.10097347]

>>10097190
>oy vey
Kek

[Anonymous No.10097364]

>>10094967
FUCK. THAT.

[Anonymous No.10097640]

>>10097190
>My savings account with £550k has gone
>I am sorry to hear that

[Anonymous No.10097642]

>>10097190
doesn't matter, you sound like a shady piece of shit-- glad your funds are locked, hope you never get them back.

[Anonymous No.10097644]

>>10094967
those kind of jobs make ppl suicidal.

[Anonymous No.10097668]

>>10097190
Don't give up, bud.

[Anonymous No.10097693]

>>10097190
>oy vey
>oy gevalt
>kvetching

it kinda feels like you're playing to the gallery and talking like this to try to impress /biz/. Or you're taking us all on a rusecruise.

Personally it feels kind of intuitive to be formal and courteous with any communications with businesses - ESPECIALLY queries or complaints. Always get the feeling it makes it more likely that they'll reciprocate.

But hey, it's your relationship with your bank. Up to you how you correspond with them, but it's worth bearing in mind if you regularly talk to people like that that if the person on the other end catches on that you're taking the piss they'll be as unhelpful as they can possibly get away with, and they certainly won't go out of their way to, for example, bend their guidelines or use whatever (probably limited tbf) discretion they have to help you out.

t. ex Loan Administrative Assistant wagecuck

[Anonymous No.10097715]

>>10097693
this sounds like a threat. very lower class of you.

[Anonymous No.10097719]

>>10094902
this is pretty standard practice - I wouldn't get too obnoxious about it talking about Jews or whatever, they'll arrest you for hate crime and then they'll REALLY freeze your money.

[Anonymous No.10097752]

>>10097190
I always wanted to be rich to act like this alone

[Anonymous No.10097758]

>>10097719
No they just burn all your money really fast and expect you to believe them and if you ask for proof they'll get indignant and reposses your home.

[Anonymous No.10097768]

>>10095346

banker here. we serve disgusting retards with massive accounts all the time. its called being a rich guys spoiled brat kid. we dont bat an eye

[Anonymous No.10097772]

>>10094918
Sheckles what totally uncalled for young fag

[Anonymous No.10097779]

>>10097715

Not a threat at all, just common sense - if you're blatantly being disrespectful then chances are you'll be treated the same way in return.

[Anonymous No.10097833]

>>10096960
Kek

[Anonymous No.10097854]

>>10097779
How about doing your damn job, wagecuck

[Anonymous No.10097994]

>>10096129

can I open account online or I need to trip to switzerland and talk with the guy? [e-mail]

[Anonymous No.10098023]

>>10096966
Fuck off Batman

[Anonymous No.10098155]

>>10096966
get off this fucking imageboard wayne

[Anonymous No.10098284]

>>10094902
No shit it's a meme. Why would you transfer away your unseizable unstealable uncensorable deflationary finitely scarce currency for shit tier virtual toilet paper fiat in some bank's database?

FUCKING RETARD LOL YOU DESERVE IT.

[Anonymous No.10098354]

>>10097779
lol @ wagie wojacks revenge strats

[Anonymous No.10099326]

>>10096306
desu I'm just pointing out the main factors they want bankfags to be on the lookout for. With a creative mind the possibilities seem almost endless.