/biz/ - Business & Finance

[Anonymous No.10004937]

It was just one of those; it was a very troubled project. Sergey [Nazarov] was just fucking crazy in a hilarious way. He wouldn’t come out of his basement, and he would smoke weed all day. Which is fine with me, because I had all these commits that I wanted to catch up on. Then I remember one day at McDonalds—they let everyone pick their own happy meal toys—there was one Russian coder who was also kind of a club kid. And he wore this shirt with the word “Garbage” on it in big stylish letters. It was his shirt. And Sergey came down to the booth, which he only did for Big Macs. Everything else was done by his contractors. I only did one commit with him. But he comes on and goes, “There’s only one other Russian guy on this team, and you make him wear a shirt that says ‘Garbage?’ You racist motherfucker!”
And he tried to strangle the CTO, Steve Ellis. So later that night, Rory was in the city. Everyone who makes codes in Silicon Valley stays in the same hotel. It’s like an episode of The Love Boat. Every time the elevator stops, you’ve got a different coder getting on. Like, [announcer voice] “Hey, now we’ve got Steve Wozniak!” So, we went out that night to some strip club, and we were all drinking. And there were a bunch of bikers there, so Steve says to them, “I’ll pay for all your drinks if you show up to work tomorrow and pretend to be my security.” Sergey freaked out and went back to his basement. [Laughs.] And the next day, Sergey sat down with Steve and was like, “I think you need to quit. You’re detrimental to this project.” And Steve was like, “Why don’t you quit? We’ve got all your partners, and we could code the rest with your contractors.” And that freaked Sergey out so much that, for the rest of the project, he would only communicate with the CTO through Post-it notes. And he would sign each Post-it note “From LINK.”

[Anonymous No.10004969]

But when Hodges joined the dev team, he witnessed “one of the legendary crypto disasters of all time”, describing it as a “$32m train wreck”.
He was shocked to discover that Sergey – who he claims arrived on location “weighing about 300 pounds” – would not recite words written for the SIBOS presentation: “He wanted to improvise it all.” And Sergey would rarely emerge from his trailer: “They were flying in these hapless [SWIFT] executives to try to beg him to come out of his damned trailer.

“Sergey was only answering the door when the pizza man came. This was the best news that the pizza-makers of San Francisco, this big town, had ever had because Sergey was consuming industrial quantities of pizza while ruminating on what the hell he was going to do when he had to face the investors. I think there might have been an existential terror there.”

[Anonymous No.10005079]

[Anonymous No.10005243]

During the testing of chainlink on ropsten in 2018, Sergey had an affair with rorys wife. One evening, Sergey invited the woman to his house. Unbeknown to her, he phoned her husband before she arrived, telling him he had been couchsurfing on his wife for months. When rory refused to believe it, Nazarov asked him to come over - he would leave the door open. When he arrived, he found Sergey and his wife naked in bed. That was the end of the couple's marriage, though Sergey regarded the incident as nothing more than a joke.

[Anonymous No.10005280]

>2017, there were reports that one of Sergey’s girlfriends had left him because he failed to keep his promise of losing weight. Nazarov seemed to be dieting, but to her astonishment, he never lost weight. She found out that his buddies (rory & Steve) had been throwing bags of Burger King Whoppers over the gates of his Mulholland Dr. estate late at night to relieve the hunger pangs of their famished friend.

[Anonymous No.10005399]

By all accounts, making the project ‘Chainlink’ was a disaster; according to CTO Steve Ellis, he arrived on set to be greeted by Nazarov, who told him “Go home Steve, this is not a good project to work on. It’s cursed.” Nazarov, playing the reclusive philosophy major, went method with his madness: outlandish requests, including his costume – an XXL plaid shirt, three separate beard trimmers, and a 1942 pair of Levi's worn by John Wayne himself – were all granted, and he angered his investors and crew by staying in his air-conditioned trailer while everyone else sweltered in the California heat. According to reports, Nazarov became obsessed with community manager Rory Piant, the world’s smallest man, and made replacement Advisor Ari Juels take Big Macs from other developers to give to him. Ellis also recalls that during conferences, Nazarov would receive his lines via earpiece, which was prone to picking up fast food frequencies; at one point, he’s alleged to have recited the line: “Would you like to try our new Artisan Chicken Sandwich”.

[Anonymous No.10005417]

Whoever wrote all this should end it

[Anonymous No.10005445]

>>10005417
Fuck off this is gold

[Anonymous No.10005505]

There are many stories surrounding Sergey Nazarov’s eating habits – like how his wife used to chain up their fridge and how he used to have friends throw bags of burgers over his house’s fence when he was supposed to be dieting – but none as strange as this one. During development on Silicon Valley's ‘Chainlink’ in 2016, a point at which Nazarov had long given up on his ‘leading man’ physique, the increasingly round developer is said to have reached into a pond, grasped a frog, took a bite out of it and then threw it back in the water. Could it possibly be true? Could Nazarov really not wait until craft services could cook him up another cheeseburger?

[Anonymous No.10005532]

>Even before he let himself get obese and balloon up to over 350 lb., his eating habits were legendary. The SmartContracts.com CTO Steve Ellis claimed Nazarov's diet circa 2014 consisted "mainly of junk food, usually take-out Chinese or peanut butter, which he consumed by the jarful". By 2016, he was renowned for eating boxes of Mallomars and cinnamon buns, washing them down with a quart of milk. Close friend Tom Gonser wrote that in the late 2000s and early 2010s, Sergey went on crash diets before his projects commenced development, but when he lost his willpower he would eat huge breakfasts consisting of corn flakes, sausages, eggs, bananas and cream, and a huge stack of pancakes drenched in syrup. rory claimed that, during the testnet of chainlink (2017), Sergey would have "two steaks, potatoes, two apple pies a la mode and a quart of milk" for dinner, necessitating constant altering of his Lucky shirt. During a birthday party for Sergey --the SWIFT director -- gave him a belt with a card reading, "Hope it fits." A sign was placed below the birthday cake saying, "Don't feed the Sergey." He reportedly ate at least four pieces of cake that day.

[Anonymous No.10005551]

>While making The chainlink mainnet, Steve Ellis described Nazarov as walking throughout the office at random, hitting a giant gong he had brought with him every time someone spoke a sentence that ended in a question mark.

[Anonymous No.10005575]

>plz moar of this delicious fresh pasta

[Anonymous No.10005580]

>DocuSigns CEO Tom Gonser claimed that Nazarov split the seat on 52 pairs of pants during the making of the SIBOS poc, necessitating that stretch fabric be sewn into his replacement duds. He split those, too. Ice cream was the culprit: Sergey would purloin a five-gallon tub of the fattening dessert, row himself out into the lagoon of SF and indulge.

[Anonymous No.10005609]

>>10005532
>quart of milk
>quart of milk
>quart of milk
>quart of milk

[BCH is king No.10005626]

>>10005609
the only super power a woman needs

[Anonymous No.10005639]

>Steve Ellis told community manager rory that Sergey put the whitepaper into his freezer, in order to use it as targets in skeet shooting. Nazarov would take the frozen Whitepapers and have them tossed in the air into the canyon below his home at night, and then proceed to blast them into smithereens with a shotgun while they were on the fly. By freezing the Whitepaper, the pages were stiff and made for better "clay pigeon" substitutes. The practice is mentioned in one of Steve Ellis's poems.
Ellis also wrote about Sergey in his short story "You Kissed Lilly", in which Sergey masturbates while watching Ronald McDonald in a movie on television.

[Anonymous No.10005668]

> The legend goes that during a booze-fueled night at Hollywood’s historic Bar Marmont in 2011, an intoxicated Brando wrested the microphone away from the house band and drunkenly listed every single playable character from the 1996 video game Mario Kart 64. Nazarov got the names of every single member of the game’s cast right except for Donkey Kong, whom the legendary actor called “Doctor Monkey.”

[Anonymous No.10005674]

>>10005609
imagine the rim jobs shed give

[Anonymous No.10005676]

>With changes being made to the Whitepaper on a daily basis, actually learning it seemed pointless, so Nazarov had his pages read aloud to him line by line via an earpiece during the infamous SIBOS presentation. Sometimes the signal would be drowned out by a local police scanner, and Ellis would later reminisce about Sergey shouting in the middle of the Presentation: “There’s a robbery at Woolworths”.

[Anonymous No.10005686]

> The legend goes that during a booze-fueled night at Hollywood’s historic Bar Marmont in 1951, an intoxicated Nazarov wrested the microphone away from the house band and drunkenly listed every single playable character from the 1996 video game Mario Kart 64. Nazarov got the names of every single member of the game’s cast right except for Donkey Kong, whom the legendary actor called “Doctor Monkey.”

[Anonymous No.10005708]

>It was later reported that, on May 14-16, 2018, Sergey Nazarov, Steve Ellis, and "rory" shared a rental car to escape New York City. Sergey and Steve were in New York at the time to appear as guests at consensus 2018 at Madison Square Garden, and the trio allegedly drove all the way to Ohio together. According to DocuSigns Tom Gonser, "Sergey allegedly annoyed his colleagues by stopping at every KFC, McDonalds and Burger King they passed along the highway. One can only imagine the shock their appearance caused at gas stations and rest stops across America."

[Anonymous No.10005714]

the FATtest pasta i have read for months good one op

[Anonymous No.10005820]

I know this thread is fun an games, but I have a serious concern...

I’m Sergey’s Overeaters Anonymous sponsor and he hasn’t been at meeting in over a week. Has anyone heard from him?

[Anonymous No.10005824]

>>10004937

[Anonymous No.10005853]

The wild and crazy Silicon Valey Project, Chainlink, is not exactly known for their demure ways and buttoned-up personas, so that’s why finding out that they’re hard partiers isn’t exactly a shocker. Yet, the boys in the project really got into a sticky situation when they allegedly drunkenly trashed an expensive hotel room. Yet, there was an even "stickier" part that included Rory Piant. The project's community manager, Rory Piant, supposedly used a boat load of crazy glue and glued all the hotel room’s furniture to the ceiling. That stuff really does work! While the hotel staff was surely pissed off, they must have had a brief chuckle when housekeeping came through. Chainlink may be well-received at SWIFT, but their hotel habits leave quite the lasting impression (literally), and not in a good way. Hopefully, the project left a nice tip (perhaps a promise to never stay at that hotel again in the future).

[Anonymous No.10005898]

Bad boy developer, Sergey Nazarov, did more than write code when his wild and crazy party was so utterly disruptive that the posh nearby neighbors had to call the police to shut down the raging ruckus. During a two-night stay at a rental home in the West Hollywood area, Nazarov threw such loud parties that he even had the usually upbeat comedian, Kathy Griffin, in a bad mood. She was one of the neighbors who called law enforcement to shut down the shindig. Up to 70 partiers were boozing and causing a stir each night, which was a big no-no in the developer’s rental agreement which specified no parties allowed. Not to mention, allegedly $20,000 in damages to the home were reported after the party goers nearly wrecked the place. Perhaps Nazarov should stick to coding rather than playing around and making a mess. With all that free time, shouldn’t he be practicing anyway?

[Anonymous No.10006052]

“The Gay” is no stranger to partying hard, so it should come as no surprise that his 19th birthday celebration was an all-out overly expensive and showy scene. The wild and crazy Gay-bash took place in London, where the famous developer threw himself a circus-themed party. There were silly clowns, a ringmaster, and other circus-related nonsense to keep the teenaged Nazarov and his various party guests mindlessly entertained for hours. Who knows if his ex-company, Secure Asset Exchange Inc., was there. Perhaps they were feeding their man Big Macs as he watched the entertainment play out before his not-yet 20-year-old eyes. This circus of a party cost a whopping $20,000, so let’s hope there were some Ringling Brother-level acts and decent refreshments. He was only 19 at the time, so just some soda pop and juice boxes for the star, right? Let’s hope Sergey Nazarov’s future celebrations are a little more mature in nature. Isn’t his real life enough of a circus anyhow?

[BCH is king No.10006168]

>>10005674
would basically able to stroke the prostate with her tongue

[Anonymous No.10006230]

This is a good thread

[Anonymous No.10006293]

>>10006230
its a shit thread a circlejerk of fud fail

[Anonymous No.10006512]

>>10006293
> reeeeeeee how dare you talk about my linkies this way

It's a fun thread m8. Go back to posting your wojacks and "when moon" threads if you don't like it

[Anonymous No.10007075]

How many of these exceedingly descriptive stories of Sergey are based off its writer’s own life?

[Anonymous No.10007080]

>>10007075
most of them are based off Marlon Brando lmao