/biz/ - Business & Finance

>6 month
Try 6 year

"I took some time off to look after my grandma"

Nobody cares what you do in your 20s

>>9589620
>I went travelling
>blah blah blah independence, decision making, resourcefulness
You just turned it into a selling point. You're welcome.

>>9589994
Elaborate. Im a philistine.

What do I do if I'm 27 and have never worked a day in my life?

>>9590185
apply for manual labor jobs not in construction or production of goods

>>9589994

not if a female recruiter is just looking for excuse to fuck you off out the door

or just use the excuse everyone uses just fine

- I went travelling

1 year interrail around europe. works everytime and you can just tell random shit.

>>9589620
when they ask you about holes in your resume you shouldn't say you stayed at home and played video games

>>9589765
yeah, actually they do. had a perfect interview until the last second when i was about to walk out the door, "oh by the way anon, why is there a gap since your last job?"

their body language totally said they were going to hire me until then.
>>9589994
WRONG. corporations hate independent people because that means they'll more likely leave for the next gig. they want the most boring cucks imaginable that never want to leave.

>>9589620
You had a baby...

>>9590310
>blockchain fund manager

>>9590169
Just pretend you went backpacking around south east asia or something, make up some anecdotes, then shove in something about how it helped you grow as a person into a resourceful, problem-solving, <further buzzwords etc> person.

>>9590208
>>9590233
This. I neeted 1 year. Best time of my life. Regained humanity.

>>9590333
I fucking hate HR department whores mate.
They give me the drooling stare when i elaborate on my routine . I hate thirsty and needy high minded fucking whores.
Thats why im probably unemployed as of yet....

>>9589620

Full-time blockchain marketeer, aka shitposting and shilling coins on /biz/.

>>9589620
>its another wagecuck thread

only two more days before temporary freedom, wagie. you've earned it, however you'll have to work extra hard so you're not called back into the office over the weekend

>>9590327
>shitcoin portfolio manager

>>9589994
>independence

Thats a bad thing for company mr. Anon

>>9590333
I won't hire a sexpat

>>9589994
Literally have travelled for 3 of the last 5 years. Got a job in a casino first time I came back purely bc I had travelled.
Have never had a problem putting my one and two year m.i.a. on my resume


T. Unqualified late 20 guy

>>9589620
>oh look theres a 6 month hole in his resume
>Just tell them you worked in (insert charity in Africa)

>>9590348
tell me more about this 1 year neet

sounds appealing

Just change the dates on your resume. No one is going to fucking care or check. If they do, you probably don’t want to work there.

>>9590486
Two more days I can do it.
Then I get a three day weekend.
Then I get one day to work from home
Then it’s two full weeks of work but after that I get another vacation day and a three day weekend.
Then it’s another two full weeks of work and it’s Independence Day holiday.

I can make it. I will not kill myself today

>>9590843
>working
>not included in the resume

>>9591786
You add that to the resume you fucking brainlet

>>9589620
Well l, OP? Why didn't you work? Don't tell me you actually though crypto would've made you rich?

>>9589620
Oh look there's a 5 year hole in my resume. Oh look it's the 5 years where I started my own fucking company, hired people and then sold the company to a competitor for a few millions. Oh look I'm not even required to work here, I'm just here for the lulz. Oh look you're looking for a consultant, so let me consult you: 20k a month and I'll work from home or you'll have to hire someone else.

>>9590414
use prostitutes mate college prostitutes are cheap and will heal ur body and soul just pay them.

>>9591851
>He doesn't know you can put your own company and freelance on resumes
>He consults others

>>9589620
Just title the section 'relevant experience' and you may as well pass the first screening by HR drones. Resume only needs to be good enough to go past HR and get you to talk with actual people you will be working with.

>>9591950
I care about getting a decent job right now , preferably with languages i know - deutsch , english.
I've worked as tech sup for ebay last time - was 3 years ago as it pertains to this particular field.
How fucked am i ?
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lXZWxLxbq0

>>9590934
>Unironically wanting to kill himself
Just kys

>>9590327
>competitive online marketing

>>9589620
>6 month hole in his resume
Literally nothing. A 6month gap could be justified in so many ways. As long as you're not a fucking retard and say you were sitting on your arse all that time no employer will care.

>>9590185
Kill yourself becauuse you are a worthless slob.

>>9589620
Just tell them you were taking care of your terminally ill dad. Works every time.

>>9589994
I'm 29 and have never had a job. I'm in uni afar dropping out. What do I say when I apply for a job?

I tell people I'm a venture capitalist. Sounds impressive and it's somewhat true.

>>9589620
Is this how wagecucks live?

So terrified that your superiors wont let you wagecuck again, if you have the nerve to stop wagecucking for even a few months?

Absolutely fucking pathetic.

>>9589620
>Not incorporating <last name> LLC
>IT Consulting Services

Just say you worked for an ico or something kek

>>9593376
29 and dropping out of uni....wow mate, i would say you really need to re-evaluate yourself but at 29...wtf. Im 31 btw.

>>9593376
>I'm 29 and have never had a job. I'm in uni afar dropping out. What do I say when I apply for a job?

Just never apply for a job. Problem solved.

The bonus is as a non-wagecuck you can become alot wealthier.

>>9590333
>he tries to sell himself using generic buzzwords to get a well paid job
>he doesn't use the interview as the platform to force the employer to sell themselves to you, subconsciously indicating to them that they want to hire you

Stay working in mcdonalds

>>9593536
That isn't helpful, retard.
>>9593542
And do what?

Can anyone in the know tell me if I can simply lie?

Can you really climb the corporate ladder by being loyal and sticking to one company?

>>9593376
That's a a lot to gloss over. Maybe fake a job, get a friend to pretend they're a manager and take the call if they follow up on the reference.
>>9593589
>He tries using meme pickup tricks in a job interview
>Wonders why he's still unemployed

>>9590313
Yeah. Sure.

>>9593629
of fuckin course you can! unless you are going to need a background check for security.

My dad used to work @ a S&P 50 company, you have heard of this company. a guy got promoted to director, he had put that he graduated from Harvard on is CV when he started @ the company. No one knew until he got the promotion to director & it was not b/c a background check was done. It is b/c his story about Harvard did not match up with other directors that attended Harvard, ppl got suspicious, the company found out he lied... he got fired.

>>9589994
>oi vey, this wagie is financially secure enough to not be begging for whatever abuse we throw at him in threats of keeping his wage slave job
>he's no use to us
You can always tell the boomer fucks that haven't been in the job market since 1973.

An employee that isn't living paycheck to paycheck is a bad goyim. If you want to almost guarantee being hired, drop that you just bought a house. Employees that are trapped by Mr. Shekelstein's Wild Ride will suck dick for the honor of working extra hours with no compensation.

>>9589731
try 18 year

>>9593632
Not in the global economy. Read the Sovereign Individual for more details. Invest in yourself and the rest will follow. Company loyalty is now more of a meme than ever.

>>9593629
>>9593748
My situation: I'm a NEET but I've been trying to make it as a /biz/nessman on and off for a few years. I have some money in the bank as a result of my mostly failed ventures, and because those ventures were mostly failed and because they were frankly lazily executed (until recently), I don't really have a proper work history. I'm not autistic and I can lie about it and make it sound somewhat convincing, but that's the extent of it. If I'm completely, unflatteringly honest, my work gap is something like 8 years, and before that I only held shit service jobs anyway.

So you're suggesting I can simply lie convincingly and that'll do?

I don't care about lying about school (don't have to do that in my preferred field) but I would have to lie about work history. I've really been stressing out over this.

Do background checks actually show work history in some form, or are those only for criminal records?

>>9594151
bump

I just got turned down over having a longer commute than another guy.

>>9594459
lol

>>9594459
>>9594471
>>9594142
What should I do if I have multiple interviews scheduled and one of them offers me a job but I want one of the other jobs more but I'm not guaranteed to get it?

>>9594583
Ask for a day or two to think about it, but play up the enthusiasm.

>>9594583
I know nothing about this but I assume you can attempt to leverage your other offer only once you get an offer from the other company

>>9593621
Lol, how the fuck can we help you? Dude, you’re 29, never had a job, and dropping out of a university? That’s insane. You’re basically a Compton welfare momma queen. At this point, join the military. That’s literally the only thing you can do.

>>9594620
>t. normie

>>9593632

50 years ago, yes. Nowadays, hell no. I'm 34 years old, started working when i was 20. First job lasted 2 years, the next less then 1 year and the decade after that was one shitty temp job after another. I genuinly worked my ass off and nothing paid back. I'm pretty much done with it all now... can't buy a house, can't start a family, etc. I seriously want to see europe burn, it expects everything from me, but delivers absolutely nothing. It destroyed my future, my family, my race... everything. My body is ready for what is to come.

>actually wanting a wage slave job at places that make decisions based on your resume

>graduated 2 years ago with a Bachelors in Mech Eng
>no failed classes, 74 weighted average
>still havent found a job

>>9589620
1 post by this ID

>>9595081
Clearly OP is sliding the very valuable pink and red wojak threads

>>9589620
Good, I wouldn't want to work for yuppie WASPs in the first place

>>9589620
living in a constant state of fear and stress that your owner will fire you or won't even give you the job.

The absolute state of wagecucks.
Who gives a fuck? LMAO I would rather live in the woods than be a fucking slave cuck scared to go for 1y vacation because some roastie from HR won't like it. FUCK THEM and go find a real job if you really have to.

All those useless fucking jobs where modern day slaves sit in their cubicles typing some total BS glued to their little screens.
Serious jobs don't require you to sit with some fucking roastie answering her retarded question like
>hmm anon, what kind of animal would you be if you weren't human?

Fuck wagecucks, and fuck all the corporation, call centers, consulting, and all the other dick sucking jobs. Only men with no dignity work there

>>9594151
if they can get what you reported to the tax man maybe they can derive employer from your income. If they find low or no income it might suggest you havent been working

>>9595280
>when your job is so bad autistic NEETs mock you

>>9594729
iktfb

One year here. I regret my major so much. Literally one of the hardest things you can study in school and yet there are no jobs for it.

>>9589994
this. I took 9 months off to travel and got a job pretty easy when I got back. I'm in sales though so I was able to spin it pretty easily. if you're a low level wage cuck you're probably screwed.

>>9593621
>dropping out of uni at 29
>never had a job

Pretty much your only option is to get an unskilled job. If you've never had a job, you won't come across as convincingly confident if you lie. And employers don't want social retards in an actual company, which they'll assume/be able to tell you are.

Go to like 10 restaurants and apply to be a kitchen bitch (basically washing up and bins).

I have an interview tomorrow afternoon for an entry level data admin job. I lied and said I had the 3 years software experience they're looking for and vastly exaggerated skills in Excel/SQL etc in my application. How fucked am I? I'm praying they don't ask me to do anything and I can just learn it rapidly as I go along.
I made the mistake of taking philosophy/literature, which while being genuinely interesting and giving me a chance to talk to girls (8:2 gender ratio on my course) left me unprepared for a job in anything except PR which I got an internship in. I want to get into data analytics by self teaching, applied for this job while high and LARPing on a cover letter and suddenly they offer me interview and take the job off the site.

>>9595860
Did you just say "I have 3 years experience" or did you specify jobs you did? They're definitely going to ask you about your experiences in the field.

>>9594729
that's normal for engineers. I have a friend who did civil and he just got a job after 4-5 years

>>9591851
wow, I actually did this pretty much, except sold for a few hundred grand. But literally everything else is spot on

>>9596062
I said I had data experience when I worked for EE for 3 years which is 90% a lie, I did brainlet tier data entry and reformatting stuff when I wasn't making coffee (I was 15-18). I think I can lie convincingly I'm just scared they'll ask complex questions about functions or worse still ask me to show them something in practice during interview. If they offer the job I'll learn everything off youtube quickly, I just don't have time today

>>9596154
It's probably worth spending a few hours on Youtube and practicing. Considering you'd basically have skipped ahead 3 years and how few jobs there are going. I highly doubt they'll ask you for a demonstration though. It's fucking data admin. It's more important you get on with them.

By your experience I would say you shouldn't have lied because you probably were qualified enough anyway. They'll probably ask you why someone so experienced is applying for an entry level position lol. Just tell them it's because you like their company. And if you get nervous and fuck up and the lie comes out, just say you exaggerated because it's really important to you.

>>9596154
>>9596154

mate just blag it, subtly ask in the interview what is expected of you in the job etc, say you need a months notice to your old employer, then study what you need to do in that month. once you're in the company its fucking hard to fire you and you can always ask colleagues for help. if its entry level a nigger could do it so why cant you?

whats the worst they gonna do? fire you? oh well LOL

>>9596259
I should probably brush up on Excel at least. I went on the website and they have the 'small family business, customers first' vibe and mostly 5* reviews so I was going to bullshit about how much I value that. I have no idea what the job entails but I can't even remember how to import data properly or use basic functions.

>>9596284
I said I could start June 7th so I definitely have enough time. It's just a case of getting through this interview tomorrow. I'd like to think I'm a pretty good bullshitter, I mean I worked in banking PR which is 90% pretending to like assholes and writing lies

>>9596284
it's entry level but using SQL, excel functions and shit like that is arguably beyond wog tier. My 4 weeks of hell at Lidl was nigger tier.

>>9596336

m8 dont forget to chat to em about blockchains an shit too, they'll think you're clued up lol

>>9590313
You literally explained how you suck at adapting.

If you know so well what a company wants, why do you not fake it.

>>9596068
>he just got a job after 4-5 years
Only the dead can know peace from this hell.

>>9589994
I haven't worked for 8 months but claimed I was doing freelance work.

I have went straight into a 500 Euro per day job on a ship.

>>9596367
I unironically got the financial PR job last year through that. was a boomer-run place with buzzwords stenciled on the walls

>>9596444

kek gg bro

ITT: people who don't know what working is and think a diploma gives them the privilege to just deserve a good job.

Meanwhile I worked in a factory for 3 years and got offered 4 different high responsibility jobs without asking. Eventually accepted a desk job in supply chain and make more money than all my friends and peers of the same age.

>>9593376
Just start your own shit. I've got a mate that makes a killing from minimalist movie posters.

Easy money.

>>9596093
What was your company? Or did you mean you just lied about having a company?

>>9596483
I think if you understood the amount of work that goes into an engineering degree then you might feel at least a little bit entitled to some kind of employment too.

>>9590313

how could you not know this question would be asked though? make something up. "had money saved and took off some time to learn/work on projects on my own". anything. it doesn't matter if you weren't being paid, what matters is that you show them you filled that time with something productive. otherwise they're going to assume any downtime you have while on the job you'll just slack off and fuck around.

note to any other resume gappers. do that. toss $15 at some Udemy courses. fuck around with some kind of side project or learning in your field. anything that you could talk about when asked why you have a gap. it doesn't need to become your full time focus while you're unemployed, but you need to say you were doing SOMETHING productive.

>>9596521
it was a car export business (mostly export), from the US to russia.

Apparently it did not work out too good for the guys that bought it, as the russians set up very high import tariffs on autos, about 2 yrs after I sold

>>9596522
Try working in a high pressure environment in a factory where it is 30 degrees celsius as a powder coater (next to two ovens). You will understand what suffering is.

Don't just assume that being smart is all it takes, only then you will start doing a good job. I have always been smart and couldn't concentrate for an hour straight, yet in a working environment I can do anything.

>>9596619
that sounds terrible and you did well for yourself but if you were smart you wouldn't have worked in a factory. I know an engineering student with ADHD, he just takes meds and gets slightly worse grades than he would otherwise

>>9596606
Nice one. You sure know when to get out of a good thing.

Let me guess you sold bitcoin on December the 21st 2017?

>>9596655
I took ritalin for 10 years and it eventually gave me insomnia and depression. I never did poorly in school and only barely failed at university. Mostly because I slept 2/3 hours every night.

I stopped taking it and i stopped being able to concentrate, I needed to occupy my mind, so I started doing physical labor and loved it. My mental state became better and I learned how to work and be responsible (powder coating demands perfection).

>>9596768
yes sleeping under 6 hours a night, or 4 if you're exceptionally healthy, will fuck you no matter how smart imo. I regret sleeping like shit as a teenager although during the gaming phase it was impossible not too. I would say just smoke weed before bed or take sleeping pills but that's probably not a good idea in the long term

>>9596689
nah I missed the btc wave bad, and I mean real bad.

I first heard about bitcoin in 2011, from a former co-worker who used it mostly to buy weed from the silk road site/onion.

He offered me to get in on this, his main arguments/pros were the anonimity and lack of central control. I thought it was too niche/sketchy to invest in, so I said no.

I can't remember the exact price, but I think BTC was below or around $10 then, so I could've easily bought like $10K worth, which would now be valued at about $8 million.
One of my biggest regrets, financially.

>>9596810
I have been taking zolpidem for 4 years now.

>>9589620
This brings back memories of a past job hunt, mostly bad... well, more like all bad.

My experience was:
>Why have you been out of work for a month? Rejected

which led to:
>Why have you been out of work for two months? Rejected

Wash, rinse, repeat...

>>9596887
welll better keep it taking it, you will never sleep naturally again! I was given SSRIs which I am sure as fuck not letting myself take every night even on free prescription.

>>9589620
>oh look he's a straight white male
>rejected

>>9597053
>blaming your incompetence on your skin color
Get the hell out of here nigga.

>>9594729
This can't be real. How many jobs have you applied for? What have you been doing with your time? Have you not considered moving somehwere else?

"I ran my own sole proprietor portfolio management firm"

There, thats what I said, it's a fancy way of saying "i smoked weed and browsed /biz/ all day and got lucky on a shitcoin or two"

>>9589994
Tried this for a wagecuck position and it doesn't work. Even showed my travel pictures. Had to patch up the holes in my resume by stretching past jobs longer.

>>9597495
>Showing your travel pictures
This is THE stereotype of how to bore someone. They don't care about your holiday, if it's bad they'll be bored and pitiful if it's good they'll be envious and resentful. You just need some buzzwords there to make them feel like it was useful, then move on.

>>9597053
Act gay during interviews to slide into that diversity category, bruh

>>9594729
glad i dropped out of mech eng then

>>9596484
>minimalist movie posters
Elaborate.

Brumpf

>>9595496
>if they can get what you reported to the tax man maybe they can derive employer from your income.
But can they?

>>9594459
Me too. Hour and a half drive and they gave it to the faggot next door who showed up without a tie

Nice try, faggot, It's actually a 7 month hole and counting

>>9596418
This. I always put 'independent contractor' for any gap I have and make some bullshit up.