[ 3 / biz / cgl / ck / diy / fa / ic / jp / lit / sci / vr / vt ] [ index / top / reports ] [ become a patron ] [ status ]
2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/biz/ - Business & Finance

View post   
File: 11 KB, 258x195, drug testing.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8128399 No.8128399 [Reply] [Original]

Just learned about Paruresis (shy bladder, stage fright). Anyone had any success using this excuse to avoid a drug test in the workplace? Tired of this bullshit, especially when I could smoke meth on the friday and piss clean on the monday (weed stays in the system way longer).

>> No.8128412

Lol just don't do drugs

It's that ez

>> No.8128416

>>8128399
Just start smoking meth

>> No.8128457

>>8128412
>letting an organization control what you do outside of work time

>> No.8128510
File: 22 KB, 265x259, 1520187292553.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8128510

>>8128399
They'll find how much coke I do just to make their deadlines

>> No.8128512

>>8128457

They don't control me dumdum I don't do drugs because it's ez

Think of all that effort you put into getting high. You just have to do nothing instead

>> No.8128591
File: 41 KB, 225x214, feels.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8128591

>>8128512
But doing nothing is more fun high faggot, and some of us don't put loads of effort into getting high. If you have downtime in the evening, no responsibilities, it's the shit to get buzzed and watch some tv or play vidya.

also pareuesis here cant even piss in front of gf and have to go to stalls in public ama

>> No.8128607
File: 230 KB, 848x480, Scary.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8128607

>>8128399
they'll just laugh at you and make you drink a coke or something
>t. this is exactly what happened to me

>> No.8128609

>>8128512
What if they decided to swab your mouth for semen? It's not their business what you do outside of work.

>> No.8128622

Fake piss dumbass

>> No.8128624

>>8128399
They do drug tests to keep people like you out, OP.

>> No.8128635

>>8128622
>random drug test
>expensive fake piss you have to heat in microwave

>> No.8128645

>>8128512
This

It is easy.

Its not if your a drug addict.
You put so much effort into getting high and still you freak out about shit, boy that weed ain't working on you , so much for relaxing.
Either quit or fail the test like a man,
Maybe you'll grow up

>> No.8128647

>>8128512

You can buy Clean Urine for $5 fairly easily. Do your own Research faggot.

>> No.8128662

>>8128399
smoke eth

>> No.8128693

>>8128635
Don't they make you drive to a clinic?

>> No.8128695

>>8128622
THIS
I live in Texas and everyone does THIS, including the Regional Loss Prevention Manager of my well-known company.
$20 to avoid losing your job is not a bad trade in my state. Everyone is doing drugs because they hate their lives.
Except me. I'm addicted to caffeine and nicotine, but otherwise, I'm getting enough pussy that the desire to kms has turned into background noise and I'll finally do it when my dick stops working.

>tl;dr always keep a bottle of fake piss nearby if you wanna do drugs in the USA

>> No.8128710

get a job in tech, half the CEOs here get their ideas during LSD trips

>> No.8128745

>>8128693
Not where I'm from. A mobile testing truck comes into work and tells you to piss then and there.

I've used fake pissed to get a job.

>> No.8128785

>>8128695
Yeah i almost got fucked once for it being too hot from the fattest nurse i have ever seen luckily i also drank a detox as a last resort and passed

>> No.8129057

>>8128399
nope, a failure to produce will be considered a positive. Furthermore, don't believe any of that detox bullshit that people peddle. That shit doesn't work, the only reason those people passed (assuming it was for weed) is because there's some serious misinformation out there on drug test timetables. That is if they didn't use fake piss. Here's a good resource for actual timetables for weed: http://www.canorml.org/healthfacts/drugtestguide/drugtestdetection.html

bottom line anon is that if you do drugs with random piss tests in the future you're playing with a loaded gun. I know it sucks but that's the way it is. good luck

>inb4 degenerates only use drugs

fuck off faggets, you can do drugs/drink and still make a fuck ton of money.

>> No.8129155

>>8128399
>WAGESLAVES ARE NOT ALLOWED TO ENJOY STIMULANTS, EVER. THAT IS FOR THE BIG BOYS.

>> No.8129180

>>8129057
Yeah, at this point if I was to smoke weed knowing that there are random drug tests, I surely would be playing with a loaded gun.

https://www.jgllaw.com/blog/coverage-shy-bladder-syndrome-shows-how-much-ada%E2%80%99s-coverage-has-expanded

If I understand correctly, if you have a certificate from the doctors, they have to provide alternative means of testing i.e. mouth swab (which determines if you are high at that moment in time).

Thanks for the link.

>> No.8129244

>>8128399
Or just don't be a degenerate who is dependent on drugs to function.

>> No.8129281

>>8129244
Ok, thanks.

>> No.8129314

>>8128457
Brainlet kys

>> No.8129315

>>8129281
It should be legal to systematically eliminate you from the population.

>> No.8129327

>>8129180
no worries dude, if that's the case (per the link) then that's fucking awesome, you hit that meth pipe till your fingers burn off friendo. god bless

>> No.8129364

>>8128399
Maybe try it before you start shooting drugs. Probably won't work, especially if you've already done a bunch of piss tests.

>> No.8129487
File: 687 KB, 800x800, quickfixplus.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8129487

>>8128635
You don't heat it in a microwave and it's not expensive. Smokeshops sell kits for 15-20$ and it comes with a heaterpack (like those hand warmer things).

>> No.8130054

Why do Americans allow companies to drug test them - Imagine if they did this shit in the first world (Europe).

>> No.8131111

Is this a common thing in USA? I wouldn't want to work without my weed