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2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/biz/ - Business & Finance

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57878298 No.57878298 [Reply] [Original]

While we wait for it to come back online, share your professional updates here

>> No.57878318

>>57878298
I always cringe so hard when i see these people posting on linkedin.

>> No.57878329
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57878329

>>57878298
If I don't get another Job soon I'll be so far in debt that it'll take me the next 10 years just go get back to $0

>> No.57878376

I worked on a data migration last year for a competitor that was shutting down. Had to work pretty close with the guys on the other side and added a couple of them on linked in.
Their manager is still posting job hunting memes on linkedin almost a year later. It's really depressing shit.

>> No.57878404

All companies on LinkedIn just reject.

I had better luck using nepotism.

>> No.57878408

I hate this site like no other, I was forced to make one while in college to "be professional and get into job market showcasing my expertise", it's like a large circus/bar for peasants so Lords and Barons can choose their slaves, a modern open slave market, the amount of insufferable people I find in that place trying to impress, I can't wait for the day to completely delete my profile, I already deleted most of the information I put in before

>> No.57878424

I'm very humbled and proud to announce that I will be working for Shithole LLC! Thank you Hiring Manager for letting my suck your ass, so you could hire me!

>> No.57878433

>>57878408
employers are basically landed gentry slave owners

>> No.57878442

>>57878408
i already deleted my soclial media except LINKEDIN in 2017. i kept it around in case i might need another job. and sometimes i check it and i instantly want to throw up about al the retards and their asslicking messages. its gigapathetic.

>> No.57878498
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57878498

I'm looking for work preferably you supply the kneepads and I'll choose the KFC to meet at. I accept doge coin, shib and Bitcoin

>> No.57878507

>>57878298
I NEED my LinkedIn Lunatics, get it back online

>> No.57878554

>>57878298
My ex gf from ten years ago tracked me down on there at the start of this year. It was the only social media I had. I’m married now so I just nuked my account from orbit. Learned my lesson. Social media is cancer. Don’t have it in your life.

>> No.57878600
File: 278 KB, 528x528, profile.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
57878600

>>57878298
Elevating synergies to empower holistic paradigms, while leveraging agile frameworks for scalable disruption. Optimizing thought leadership to drive innovative ecosystems.
#Innovate #Disrupt #Lead #ThinkBig #GameChanger

>> No.57878622
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57878622

>>57878600
this is so fucking accurate I want to kms. my rl linkedin profile looks and sounds exactly like this.

>> No.57878628

>>57878600
>Serial entrepreneur
>Ex Google Ex Amazon
>Looking for my next big challenge

>> No.57878744
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57878744

Thrilled to announce I will be joining FAGMAN as diversity hire HR roastie #21091! Can't wait to meet all my wonderful new colleagues and make a REAL difference in this space. #MoreWomenInTech

>> No.57878814

>>57878408
This. Social media for resumes is a mistake. All you will get are the fakest and gayest people.

>> No.57878820
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57878820

I actually put down my diver's license as a joke on my profile

>> No.57878833

>>57878814
This. The more I am on LinkedIn (where I have to be for job reasons) the more I need to be here and on /pol/ to balance it

>> No.57878866
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57878866

>> No.57878965
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57878965

>>57878298

>> No.57879009

The CEO of a great company was awaiting an interviewee for a new position. But he was late.

The young interviewee showed up and said he was very sorry. The bus had exploded and he ran through the streets. Now he looked upon the CEO and extended his foreskin to envelope the entire desk.

"Yes, you were late. Yet you ran here and swallowed the entire furniture with your foreskin. Now sir you have a new job," said the CEO.

Thoughts?

>> No.57879196

>>57879009
Inspiring sir thank you for sharing!

>> No.57879236

>>57878298
Is it ok to smoke or vape on Zoom? Or is that a faux pas

>> No.57879304
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57879304

>>57878298
Imagine being a wagie and having to sell yourself on Linkedin like some Onlyfan whore.

>> No.57879340
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57879340

>>57878600
4chan shit poster, collecting and archiving cute and slightly muscular tomboy pictures, energizing gambling rooms on stock market threads to find new financial opportunities, building business networks with schizophrenics on paranormal forums, leveraging anime girls to identify sales weaknesses in apple products

>> No.57879438

>>57878600
Imagine being one of the fluoride eyed fags who carefully selects their head shot from their photoshoot and types this shit up and rewards themselves with last week's SNL to unwind.

>> No.57879457

>>57878298

Thrilled to announce that I've reached a major milestone in my career journey - I've successfully mastered the art of making coffee! From latte art to perfecting the foam texture, I'm now a certified Barista Extraordinaire! Looking forward to leveraging these invaluable skills to revolutionize the coffee industry, one cup at a time. Connect with me to discuss potential partnership opportunities with your local café! #CoffeeGenius #BaristaLife #CareerGoals