/biz/ - Business & Finance

Yeah I mean it would probably help to google it faggot, but agile is just putting out a working product/system quickly and then iterating over it making new better versions.

>>56709976
Just say "agile? Like when you suck my dick or something? I just want to provide my services for this company. If thats not ok with you then good luck finding someone else in this economy."

>>56709976
>you will bullshit for the daily stand up
>you will create and close JIRA tickets every single day

P R O D U C T I V I T Y

Also you're ngmi if you are so bad at finding common information that you had to make this long ass post asking us to retardpill it for you

>>56709976
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agile_software_development

since you can't google give me a reference

>>56709989
>but agile is just putting out a working product/system quickly and then iterating over it making new better versions
sure thing but how can i act like i have some experience in this?

>>56710001
googling agile wikipedia definitions aint actually showing me how its actually done in the real world >>56710014

>>56710039
I dunno anon.
did you read it?
maybe you should be familiar and so instead of citing bullshit. you could cite a skill.
stop being a fucking gay.

>>56710054
>did you read it?
yes and its literally a bullshit buzword thrown around to act like you are a magician

>>56710064
ok then. what's scrum? how would you implement this with a team?

>>56710064
also, you didn't read it. don't be a liar on top of being stupid and lazy. you entitled little shit. show the barest and most basic comprehension in anything before expecting golden handouts.
you smell horrible you fat fatty.

>>56710081
why are you seething so hard? have you forgotten your meds?
scrum is another buzzword for saying you are a gay retarded fag who organizes a team of actual working people to generate 'idea' or shit like that
and i didnt look it up now, its literally another retarded buzzword
are you an agile scrum faggot with a hurt ego?
>i manage le discussion :OO

>>56710097
lol.
just read it anon.
its not that hard.
if you don't understand it then you must be intentionally obtuse.
what's the example they use?
it literally tells you how to do this.
the only reason you wouldn't understand is because you haven't bothered to learn the common parlance of the industry you seek to join.

good luck. they must be desperate to consider you especially given your demonstrated drive and resourcefulness at research. You are fat. work on that you fat. fat. fatty.

>>56710081
after thinking for a minute about why youre seething so hard, i guess its bc my thread made you feel like youve been found out
you probably look like OP pic and do agile buzzword scrum shit and my thread makes you feel like a tard
ok dont take it personal, fag

>>56710111
ive already read it, these buzzwords arent complicated science paper tier stuff
its literally just modern buzzword shit to act like youre a professional manager retard
things like generating ideas managing a team making work go faster or more flexible arent exactly new found concepts
reading on shit like scrum felt like reading any other new found buzzword. im pretty sure its the same people applying to these jobs too, grifters, mainly with no real skills

>>56710119
don't lie. and don't pretend you know how to think.
you're basically a jellyfish you fat fuck.

if you can't grasp the idea you never will.

>how do I demonstrate competence in x field I don't have experience in?
you learn the common framework and language so that you can converse with the person hiring you about the task you intend to do.
>REEEEEEEEE I DON WANNA
if you think there's a cheat code paragraph you can memorise and say then you have no idea how far out of your depth you are.

I noticed you avoided answering about the example, or how you would implement it. thats literally what you'd be asked in an interview straight up.
pretending you are trolling doesn't excuse how fucking retarded you must be to continue under the premise.

>>56710158
buddy, you are seething at maximum amount at my thread, i mean there can only be one reason for this.

>>56710138
so answer the question.
how would YOU implement this as a framework for a team developing a product.

i'm literally asking a grade school level question here anon. the same answer anyone would expect thats written in the wiki.
just read it.
if you don't understand it, which you clearly don't. then fucking read it again.

>>56710166
yes.
because you're stupid. and it's directly proportional.
that fact thats profound or entertaining to you is the telling factor.

>>56710039
If you can't extrapolate from a simple google search like this then google "how to stop lying" instead and start there

>>56710169
how would i imply what? scrum? my threads not about scrum

based on what i remember from what i read about it months ago, the scrum manager or however this fag is called, just organizes a small team of people with different majors/work. he explains the basic product or work idea he wants to prouce, sends them off to work for it, then after some time come back get in another team meeting to check results and how to implement them, analysis whats good or not together with the team and then tells what to maybe focus on next and sends them off again
rinse repeat

why are you mad?

>>56710184
yea ive read the basic descriptions in google see>>56710191
ive just not worked in the field and was asking if theres anything else to it so it would make my application sound more real
i dont want to just write google definitions into my application, im not sure why this causes so much seething

>>56710191
thats the answer you expect to give to an interviewer and get the job?
yikes.

im not angry anon. pointing out how stupid you are isn't particularly emotionally intuitive. its more factually corrective. im just stating reality. there's no malice. im here trying to help you improve. which shows my intention is positive.
you are angry if thats what you see in what you read. maybe you need to relax and read what was sent to you.
trying to say that you're trolling via "y u mad?" doesn't demonstrated an argument or improvement in your position.

>>56710097

Kek you seem to be the one seething because your little peanut brain can't comprehend a simple concept to the point you keep calling it a useless woo woo magic buzzword. Grow up. If this is so hard for you then what makes you think you're gonna somehow make it through probation if somebody more retarded than you even decides to hire you?

>>56710209
>thats the answer you expect to give to an interviewer and get the job?
>yikes.
dude its why i made the thread, give me pointers to what i can do better
googling definitions is not giving me anything better
so far all you did was seething and besides you looking like the wojak in OP and being found out with a buzzowrd bullshit job im not sure why else you seethe so hard

>>56710210
ok but so far you havent corrected me how im wrong, so far you only impotently seethed at my thread which is telling me only one thing...

ive said its a buzzword bullshit tier job i never said its hard for me

>>56710191
Are you actually fucking trolling or what bro? Go apply to mcdonald's worthless faggot

>>56710191
>trash buzzwords for simple twits
So since you're saying that our practices here at X are so fucking terrible anon, how would YOU improve our CURRENT system.
What do you know about our current practices?
Why should you lead the project efficiency improvement teams?
How are you going to implement your new solution?

Oh, you say it's all in your head anon..
So you have no transition plans?
You don't have any outlines, goals, or methods formally written down?
Thats a hell of a system you've got anon.
Convince me as to why I should assign you to manage a product or team?

>>56710249
another impotent seethe post by you
sure proves me wrong wow im convinced now

>>56710229

Oh am I supposed to somehow correct your IQ and your whole ass shitty attitude?

>>56710253
>Why should you lead the project efficiency improvement teams?
i think this threads post are misleading, could we focus back on the OP?
im not applying as a scrum manager...

>>56710221
read the wiki
stop trying to be a victim. you're surround by help and refuse to take it.

you claiming anyone is upset or angry is you denying your ability to laugh at yourself.

just do it. admit that youre dumb, read the wiki with an OPEN mind.
as though you DONT know EVERYTHING
why?
because you don't
accept that.
now read the fucking wiki again.

answer my interview question.
this isn't hard compared to what youre asking to do. don't get nervous here or youre fucked.

im being nice. they'll actually be hostile in intention. im not.

>>56710268
>this amount of seetheposting for no reason
holy fuck apparently my thread hit too close to home for some wojaks here kek

>>56710258
OK but this isn't a debate or an argument. This is literally a complete lack of effort on your part and you're getting called out for it.

>>56710269
You also haven't demonstrated any awareness or agile frameworks.
it's an example. I noticed you avoided the questions you could've tried to answer that weren't red herrings.

>>56710276
called it twice.
>>56710209
>>56710158

>>56710281
dude we are on 4chan and you are telling me i lack effort
are you retarded? wtf?

>>56710284
i mean thats what i made the thread for i dont have practical exp in this and just wanted someone to simply explain it to me so my application sounds a bit better
but instead it resorted to a massive seething kek wtf

>>56710271
>>56710271
dude so far nobody actually answered besides read google definition, thats not helpful and all following posts were literally seething only
your posts havnt been helpful, random seething only seems like im right and its bullshit wojak tier buzzwords thrown around to make wojak buzzword manager feel more professional
ive read the wiki definition

>>56710178
when one actually thinks someone is stupid it doesnt cause massive seething
massive seething is caused by getting angered which is caused by a hurt ego which is caused bc thread hit too close to home apparently

1+1

>>56710311
Thats why you're being called out for lying.
a whole ass encyclopaedia entry isn't a definition.
taking 2 minutes and claiming to have read it isn't actually reading it.
I don't care what your opinion is on the topic because you don't know what it is.
why should anyone think that what you have to say on the topic is exceptional.

that isn't an attack on you personally.

it's like an apprentice saying to the tradesman, why would you do it that stupid way.
without understanding the groundwork.

if you have a better method, write it down, show how you implement it an get better results.

you can't give a basic overview of what it is.
let alone give a better methodology. or even a methodology to compare it to.

you have to learn a little more about the field. just go through the wiki slowly.

imagine that you are actually applying it for a company. what might you expect to see?

this information is out there. your lack of interest is why it's impossible to spoon-feed you.

I can't give you a cheat code for chemistry or economics either. would you read those wikis and say thats a definition that doesn't cover the fields?

all you need to do is show a little interest and someone will actually give you some fucking good answers here unironically. but you need to show some initiative before they'll even bother considering help.

>>56710346
you can keep trying all you want dude.
but if you can't see that me making childish jabs in jest is coming from a place of laughter and an ambition to help you.

then as I said. the problem is in you. just laugh at yourself. you made a mistake in asking for spoon-feeding on a topic thats a little bigger than you thought and it isn't possible.
whoopsy.
thats funny, I got teased. I did some teasing, now im going to demonstrate competency.
all thats missing there is the last 6 words.

ree-ing about being a victim against some curse words is the lowest tier of dull.

>>56710355
>I don't care what your opinion is on the topic because you don't know what it is.
uh yes i said in my short OP that i dont have knowledge about the buzzword agile,
now i only asked if someone with experience in the field could tell me some example
>I don't care what your opinion is on the topic because you don't know what it is.
why should anyone think that what you have to say on the topic is exceptional.
why is this making you so emotional? ive never claimed to be an expert hence my thread
i kind of expected more than just read le google definition
i already have its just how to make stuff more flexible for change and faster to use basically

>>56710378
>making childish jabs in jest is coming from a place of laughter and an ambition to help you.
ok but so far nobody helped, i would accept this but there was only seethe posting without any explanation or help at all

>>56710387
because you need to demonstrate understanding.
claiming that the framework methodology is a buzzword shows how much you know about it.
what's unclear?
exactly. thats my point, no one would. with good reason.
so maybe the solution is to go and learn more about the topic so that you can have a discussion.

Maybe the better analogy is music.
Im sure the song in you head is amazing.
im sure that you can play well because you learnt by practice and ear.
but when playing with this band you need to learn how to read score.
if you don't read score you can't play with the band.

youre asking how to play with the band without reading score. except in this case you can't even play by ear. or play at all..
is that clearer?

trying to say im emotional or angry or seething is a way to try and embarrass me.

im not doing anything I would be embarrassed about that isn't overcome by posting here already..

no one actually likes any of the buzzwords anon. buts its what people use to communicate. get on board or don't. the only person it really affects is you and your outlook.
stop trying to be unkind. you aren't good at it.
try to be nice. it'll come naturally for someone like yourself.

>>56709976
maybe it will help if i described my 3 jobs over 7 years?

>>56710397
ok then. lets do the reverse.

how is the framework just a buzzword to you anon?
why do you think that?

what would you use instead of the 12 principles?

>>56710433
i will formulate this so everyone should be able to get this
i dont want to sound in my application that ive just copy pasted the google definition bc everyone can do this, i want to sound like i have some first level expereince in it

how is this causing seething
ive answered very reasonable i think. you guys seethed maxxed with all the input you gave was
>read google definition
and i even answered several times that i have and what it is in a short sentence and only receive more anger
its telling that its a buzword when you experienced people cant say anything else then google the definition ...
>stop trying to be unkind.
what kind of projection is this reading my thread you guys seethed maxxed for no good reason, its not like i said i fucked your mom

Hurr durr let's stay on topic you're supposed to be spoon feeding me I lack the amount of drive it would take to formulate a response to you

>>56710452
hey newfren.
click on the id's.
like I said. you're not good at being unkind. in this case it's lying.
stop it. you'll be a better person if you're honest.

>>56710442
>how is the framework just a buzzword to you anon?
why do you think that?

bc its buzzwords thrown around by hr roasties, its not like scrum manager was a job that has a long history and its not like concepts like making work go faster, more flexible smoother or make ideas is any new concept

>>what would you use instead of the 12 principles?

mate ive said from the beginning i have no exp in this, can we stop acting like i said im an expert. i never even mentioned 12 principles

>>56710440
i havnt fully read it yet but yea stuff like this def helps more than seething at me for no reason but also gotta say ive summarized it shortly here and it seems im not even far off>>56710191

>>56710452
>i even answered several times that i have and what it is in a short sentence
>literally just modern buzzword shit to act like youre a professional manager
>generating ideas managing a team making work go faster or more flexible

so that sentence on the topic is why your opinion should be considered exceptional?
this is why you're a better candidate than the next guy?
is that your best effort in demonstrating understanding.

what do YOU think agile means anon? (please just answer this)

it seems important to you that im perceived as seething an that you are perceived as cool-headed.. why is this the important part instead of the supposed topic anon? lets really talk.
what's missing inside you thats going to be filled by the chuds seething?
is the where the happy is found for you anon?

>>56710477
I did.
it's in the wiki you said you read.
I'm not your mate. you are below me.
don't be upset.
you are lower than this field. accept that. get your head right. then learn what you need to learn.
I told you there's no paragraph cheatsheet.
if there is its in the pic that the other anon posted.
read it and learn what he said.

demonstrate your speed in going through an obstacle course

>>56710500
>so that sentence on the topic is why your opinion should be considered exceptional?
>this is why you're a better candidate than the next guy?
>is that your best effort in demonstrating understanding.
hello this is why i made the thread, to get help from people who have epx in it so that i can sound more like i have some first exp in it and not just act like it from a fucking google definition

so far in this entire thread the only helpful reply was >>56710440


>what do YOU think agile means anon? (please just answer this
ive answered this many times now and i dont see any improvements in your replies
one anon made a helpful answer without impotent seething why cant you?

>it seems important to you that im perceived as seething an that you are perceived as cool-headed.. why is this the important part instead of the supposed topic anon? lets really talk.
its not important at all but theres no substance in all your posts so far, all you do is seethe and trying to belittle me when ive said from the beginning i have no exp so like wtf?

again he was helpful withuot all your 40 bullshit replies>>56710440

Boomer tiered semitic bullshit.

>>56710477
>buzzwords thrown around by hr roasties
>scrum manager was a job that has a long history and its not like concepts like making work go faster, more flexible smoother or make ideas is any new concept.

Wow, profound take anon. No-one has ever thought like that before. Is that what youre expecting people to say.

here's another analogy.

>man french is such is dumb language. it's got no history compared to English but I need to interview a frenchman and tell him how dumb French is.
do you speak French?
>why would I speak a dumb language for retards?
because you're interviewing a native French speak..
>but the French are retarded
so why are you fucking interviewing then?
bruh

>>56710541
im pretty sure if i get the job my knowlege about the buzzword agile will be negligible

>>56710540
exactly

>>56710524
you haven't answered anything. even when ive quoted you. you lack a foundational understanding and so someone cannot have a conversation with you on the topic.

where am I wrong?

did you have some other amazing definition that I didn't quote you on? because what you said wasn't correct or even specific to agile.

>>56710540
and yet you wont show an interviewer your better method.

im not saying it's great.
no one really does. but its the methodology framework.

if you really are such a prodigy why do you need to ask about it?

you're welcome faggot.