/biz/ - Business & Finance

>>55498729
>What's up Dave. My net worth is $145K and I haven't had sex in 2157 days.

>>55498729
i have 500 bucks , thats all

I have 10k in crypto & live in my car

>>55498729
Well, basically you are a dumb dirty nigger and I’m just not gonna eat the beans, Dave.

>>55498729
hi dave, should i spend $100 on walmart groceries or keep ordering doordash for the full month?

>>55498729
Two apartments, empty plot and a house to my name. All together worth around $1M. Around $450k own to bank tho.

>>55498729
Hi Dave, I bought DASH at the top

>>55498729
I am financially embroiled in the fantom/multichain fiasco

>>55499186
OK... OK. Which baby step are you on? At $145k, you should have no problem finding a nice girl at church.
>>55499191
Let's bump that up to $1k for your emergency fund, then I need you to get yourself a medium price car, let's stay under $2000.
>>55499203
Fool. Moron. I'm saying this out of love, but crypto and TikTack and all the other dummy stuff is for dummies. Sell it now and start working the baby steps.
>>55499222
*disconnects call*
>>55499233
Let's cut that in half, it don't take much to buy a sack of beans and a bag of rice at Wallyworld.
>>55499242
So you're worth $550k, not $1 mil. You're a five hundred thousandaire. What's your income? Let's focus with gazelle intensity on eliminating that debt.
>>55499264
*disconnects*
>>55499363
OK, stay on the line after this and we're going to hook you up with Financial Peace University, completely free. I want you to work the steps, pay the stupid tax and never... NEVER... make that kind of mistake again.

>>55498729
>>55499724
>divorced, paying $1800/month in child support
>house worth $450k, mine
>$300k balance remaining
>$150k in retirement accounts
>$35k liquid
>own my car, paid off
>no student loans
>pay off all cards in full every month
>no debts besides mortgage
>32, single
Feels like I'm getting flogged. I get laid regularly I guess. Both boomer parents so maybe a windfall in 20 fucking years

>>55498729
Hi Dave,
I'm addicted to buying gold and silver. I've racked up $10k in credit card debt buying the stuff.
I also fantasize about taking a 100 oz bar of silver and beating a crypto nerd over the head with it while Peter Schiff watches.
What should I do?

>>55498729
how do I write off baking 6 million cookies from my tax form?

I have 2 years of salary saved up and I have no idea how to transform it into passive income.

>>55501008
$sgov will give you 5% a year

Hi Dave, I have $100k in t-bills, $50k in a savings account, and $200k in crypto. I also have an income of $0 and no desire to work. How's it going?

>>55499765
Alright, you're making great progress. Just great. I'm proud of ya. Work on paying down that mortgage and keep an eye out for loose-hearted women.
>>55499793
Credit card debt is for idiots. The most highly marketed product in the history of mankind and YOU think YOU are pullin' one over on the banks? The only people what get rich on credit cards are the business men building their next skyscraper downtown.

Work the baby steps, and also consult your pastor about these violent fantasies.

>>55500692
Are you in the baking industry? You're going to need to show that it's tied to revenue, or at least a genuine ATTEMPT at revenue. Also, six million is a lot. Did you count correctly?

>>55501008
Once you're debt free from the six baby steps, and have plenty of cash saved up - not for loans but for cash payments - go ahead and start acquiring some real estate... IF you take the time to learn how to spot good properties and contractors... and IF your wife is bought in on your efforts. We'll connect you with a Ramsey certified realtor who can help you out.

>>55501080
*disconnects*

>>55498729
Dave how can I put on a similar amount of weight to you, so I can get diabetes?

Hey Dave I’ve been following your advice and eating dandelions in the park to save money but it’s making my stomach hurt.

Hi dave, I really want a maybach like those cool rap guys like rick ross and jay z. Are expensive german cars a good investment? I would be financing with a low credit score with the dealer.

>>55498729
I have a dodge charger I can't pay off (child support payments kicking my ass fr). What should I do?

>>55501110
Listen here, you want advice on how to build wealth... and I mean real wealth, not the CRAP you hear about on TikTak...
>ooh duh, just buy a bunch of houses on credit, become a millionaire, DUH...
You want to get rich, you watch what actual rich people, like me, do —and copy it. There ain't no magic silver bullet to it.

But if you want to be in the best shape of your life, you don't want to watch me. That's not what I do. I like my wife's cookies too much.

>>55501126
Listen friend, you have to live like no one else so that you can live and give like no one else. But you have to eat. Rice and beans aren't too expensive. Ask what other expenses you can shrink in life so that you can get some real food on the table.

>>55501177
If you want to do something as foolish as buy a performance vehicle new, you'd better have several million in the bank and buy it in cash. And no debt. Don't you dare finance that vee-hickle.

>>55501218
Private sale. If you owe more than it's worth, take out a smaller loan from your credit union for the difference.

I lost all my money on crypto "alt coins" as they call it, I fell for the swing trading meme
I have no job, no future prospects, no girlfriend.
Nothing.
What do i do Dave?

>>55501342
Dave, I need to boost my credit score, buying the maybach with financing would help, besides I wanna get bitches, having kids is financially smart right? They can pay my credit card debt.

Hi Dave,
I've been following your advice about cars and have been driving a 1998 Dodge Neon that I've spent over $20,000 on repairs to keep it running over the past 5 years. I really want to buy a new Honda Civic for $25k, but I only have a net worth of $900,000. You said no one should buy a new car unless they are a millionaire. How can I get that last 100k so I can finally drive a functional car? Thanks Dave!

>>55501090
Perfect

>>55498729
I have a fully paid house and a car at the age of 33, and I am a virgin. The only women who would even consider me are either insane or are very unattractive. In what should I invest all the spare money I have from not being involved with women, and from not being a rentoid?

I am gonna kill myself

>>55502150
Me too buddy.

>>55501342
But Dave I thought you had willpower

>>55499203
SELL IT ALL
TONIGHT
(IF YOU STILL CAN)

>>55498729

Hi Dave,
BS6 and 250k left on my mortgage

I know you said you'd disown Rachel if she got a tatoo but I have inside information she has one by her vulva, can she confirm for the camera?

Followup question: What super racism are you doing to to cause all the Black Personalities on your show to quit?

>>55498729
hello dave i have a stable income of 110k a year and credit card debt of 45k that im slowly paying off but i have a deep rooted desire to kill niggers. any advice for me on how to fix this?

>>55498729
Hey Dave, I’m 80k I’m student loan debt from my music degree. Currently in a masters program to which the end debt after I receive my degree will be around 175k. I’m fucked Dave, I’m really really fucked. Oh instrument? I play bass Dave, uh hello? Dave you still there?

>>55501008
>move to the midwest
>buy a house
>start a thorium mining business
>buy your way to the white house
>picrel

Hi Dave, I had to go to the hospital for severe nutritional deficiency after eating nothing but rice and beans for 2 years. I am now $150k in medical debt and don't know what to do.

>>55498729
nigger I hold that chainlink
also jews are bad

>>55499203
I'm putting more in privacy related coins. Don't have a car.

Umm yeah
*Smacks lips*
This is Darnell
I uhh
*Smacks lips*
Got a car on loan. Dodge challenjuh. Had that maf candy coated nah mean.raised on twen twos. V6 with all the bells
Smacks lips*
48 month loan at 20%

>Hi Dave, long time listener first time caller
>I'm 52 and my wife just turned 50
>We make $140,000 a year combined
>We own a home worth $500k that has two mortgages, $650k combined. 5% interest on one 6.5% on the second.
>We have about $150k in credit card debt.
>Two cars we owe $85k on combined, 16% interest.
>About $642 in savings account
>Around $35k in our 401ks combined
>We really want to retire comfortbly Dave. What do you suggest we do?

Bought a DAO shitcoin
Bought the rumour and didn't sell the news.. now said token is stuck at $1mil mc
My $1200 are now $440 and i want to kms..need to make a 3x Ramsey, help me..

>>55498729
*gunshot*

>>55498729
> Hi Dave. I have about $10k invested in GME from 2021 and it's worth about $4k right now. I think I was either a suckered for a meme or else the system is just too strong to allow it to pop off like they say it should. Should I hold or dump what's left of my bags?

I have 1700 in cash, 400 in my bank account, and 100 in TOAD

>>55505338
On 74 folks, on 21519 senpai, im finna get one 2500, shiet

>>55505347
This is a classic. Let me try:

> What are you doing with all that money? Would you take a fully paid off house and mortgage it to put money in the bank?
> Here is what I would do. First let's pay off that credit card debt right away. Then leave a little emergency fund and put the rest into the house.
> You guys make 140k you'll have the rest paid off in no time. And look you're millionaires in no time! You're gonna make make it.

>>55505347
It's crazy there are people like this out there

Yo Dave I'd love to chat bro. Can I post or am I still b& for being hwhite?

>>55498729
Does boomer finance still work these days?

>>55498729
I have a NW just over $1.5 million and more than half of it is in crypto. Yeah but I'm not selling anytime soon. Sorry.

>>55498729

Have you told your wife about your mistress yet Dave?

Ah sweet I'm not b&. Dave I'm balling harder than I ever have. I was born a bastard 75% euro native mutt to a single mother in the 80s and started from nothing. Bullied, molested and abused as a child. Never had a real dad, just guys who wanted to plow my attractive native mother. I sperged endlessly and relentlessly while clawing my way through life still with addictions disabilities and diseases. Now I'm in my 30s. I have 3 paid off vehicles. Single with no kids, obviously. I'm in zero debt except a minimal 4 revolving credit cards that all get paid in full every month to increase my good goy score to 800. I am a man, build things and help people get shit done. I am counted on and depended on by those around me. Im also 6'3", 175 pounds and hella fit. 3 miles a day treadmill, 1 hour hot yoga and weights. I finally almost have all of my shit together and the boomerang of life is turning around for me. Now if only my mild childhood vax induced autism keeps these thirsty single mother cashiers away from me, I'll be golden.

>>55501353
It's all outlined in the six baby steps. Stay on the line and we'll get you set up with Financial Peace University for free.
>>55501647
*disconnects*
>>55501765
You're close enough. At $900k you can buy the car in cash and be done with it. And it's more like $30k with taxes and fees, and that's the most basic trim. You can get a better bargain through a private sale of a few years older vee-hickle.
>>55502092
A vanguard mutual fund that tracks the stock market.
>>55502150
*disconnects*
>>55502215
*disconnects*
>>55503938
*says "OK..." with a thoughtful, worried expression*
>>55505320
Focus with gazelle intensity on paying off the debt as soon as possible.
>>55505338
Well Darnell, you've made a dumb decision here. And this is coming from a man with a PhD in D-U-M-B, so I can call it like it is. Sell the Challenger and get out of the loan as soon as possible.
>>55505347
Consider this your intervention. You need to cut spending to the bone. I mean beans and rice, rice and beans. The only time you see the inside of a rest'rent, it's the one you have a second job at.
>>55505697
Sell the stupid stock as soon as possible and consider it a $6k idiot tax.
>>55506676
*disconnects*
>>55506687
*disconnects*
>>55506736
>>55506736
*disconnects*

>>55507475

>calls in again

You can't hide the truth Dave. Tell your wife.

i'mma talk to this dave guy

hey i've already added Glenn Beck, Jesse Watters and Eric Adams to the list, how many people should i throw into the ocean before we go back to Reaganomics-tier growth.

Captcha:GAYDT8

Hey Dave, I'm going through a good financial moment right now as I work as a freelance and have a lot of jobs lined up, but I know this might not be the case soon. I'm thinking of paying off all my credit cards, even though I'm not late on any of them, I just figured I should reduce my exposure to debt and potential interest payments in case those jobs dry up. What do you think?

>>55499793
Keked hard. Thank you for making my day anon

>>55501081
>Also, six million is a lot. Did you count correctly?
kek

>>55499724
>Let's bump that up to $1k for your emergency fund, then I need you to get yourself a medium price car, let's stay under $2000.
K I N O

>>55501126
>>55505320
kek

>>55498729
Hey Dave.
I recently took out 5 credit cards. I want to take out a 6th but they are denying me due to too many recent inquiries into my credit history. My question is how long do I need to wait before I'll be able to open up the 6th one?

hi Dave my entire net worth is 100% LINK

should I consider suicide?

>>55501126
It's the pesticides

>>55498729
I for some reason see fire as the only “solution” out of my situation but it’s probably an escape of some sort. Then someone mentioned it’s depriving yourself to be a minimalist (lol) to then live as a poor when you could just be black and live on welfare from the start

>>55498729
> already 19 years old
> only 200 billion net worth
> it’s over

>>55498729
>Hi Dave, I have a networth of 240k € but I'm also almost 30 and want to kill myself for STILL being forced to work. I thought I'd be a millionaire by 30 but now at 28 I don't think this will happen. I need eth to reach 9k to retire and I don't believ in that anymore. My job is agony, germany is agony, I don't know what to do

>>55498729
Yes... Well...Dave, over the last 36-40 months my firm has begun packaging new MBS products that combine several different traunches of rating classification in one tradable security. This has been very profitable as you can imagine...

>haven't made 6 gorillion by 25
it's joever

>>55513672
>lives in germoney
>has no money
what on EARTH is going on here?????

>>55513672
Move to czech republic or worst case scenario Slovakia
Literally doubling your buying power and halving the living costs

>>55516042
/pol/ blew up the gas bill again

>>55498729
520k house
435k loan
15k students loans
90k crypto
10k stock
40k retirement
83k salary 15% plus retirement savings

WHAT the fuck do i do

>>55499724
>get yourself a medium price car, let's stay under $2000
Kek nice job

>>55498729
>I went all in on Chainlink and 5 years later I have hardly anything to show for it. I would have been better off with a 0% interest savings account. I'm scared, Dave. Please tell me it'll be alright.

>>55517851
You will eat the rice and beans and you will like it.

>>55518064
I like rice and beans

>>55498729
Listen Dave, I put like 70% of my income into the stock market and I can't win.
My 401k is losing money.
I only make 40k
My car is so busted that I need a new beater car but I rather spend it on food.
I pay 1500 in rent

Pretty meh but I’m doing aight.

>>55498729
>>Anon, what's your financial situation?
The final solution

>>55507475
>Sell the Challenger and get out of the loan as soon as possible.
Lel, like a nig would sell away an annoying piece of shit like a modern muscle car

>>55498729
Hi Dave
This is unironically a true story and I legitimately want your advice and advice of other anons
I traded high 4 figs BNB in September 2017 (DCA circa 85c) to end up trading mostly into LINK by early Jan 2018. That's where I've stayed since. My life has since fallen apart. I'm up 5x on initial after 6 years in this market.

I lost $1m on LINK alone after tax.

In opportunity cost when compared to that BNB stack, total loss is closer to $5m.

I don't even know what my question is. Since the 16k BTC bottom I've established positions elsewhere as new hope for financial independence. Where is my hope? What do I do? Am I crazy to think LINK pulls something against the market again? How do I come back better?

All I want is to take my immediate family and sick father on a trip. I have the entire thing budgeted but not the money. I have acted it out how I would announce that I've come into this money and that they all get a slice and we're all going overseas on my dollar to make everlasting memories together. Only after I lost all this money of course. But I'm sick with regret.

>>55505414
kek

I'm holding $7000 dollars worth of RUNE. Down over 90%.
That's 63000 gone Dave. 63000

>>55499765
Outside the child support you literally are in the top 1-2% net worth for your age in this country. God this place is full of retards

>>55520494
OK anon, I'm going to speak with you frankly and bear in mind this is all coming from a place of love. We WANT you to be happy and successful and live and give like no one else. But you need to take a look in the mirror.

You are not a sophisticated trader who has discovered the secret to free money. You are a fool with a gambling addiction. And as long as you keep chasing fool schemes with your foolishness, you will never be wealthy. You will never dig yourself out of the hole you are currently in.

What you can do right now is get out of Idiotcoin and Blink and whatever other nonsense you think is going to make you wealthy, and start working the 6 baby steps.

>>55498729
Hey Dave. I put my entire savings into Dogecoin.

>>55498729
Dear Dave,

I’m a 27yo virgin who has 10k saved in a low interest savings account, 3k in a checking account, opened a 401k that I haven’t contributed to yet, I make 53k a year.

And I’ve taken to gambling money in cryptocurrency to cope with the mundane mediocrity that is life. Dave how do I be satisfied and happy with life?

I've invested all my funds in crypto to gain financial freedom but now living a horrible life. Now spending the rest of the tokens I have via CryptMi app to prepare for the worst.

you fags will be the first to be thrown off the chopper.

>>55499264
Kek, that's what losers do anon. I on the other hand have stuck to my DCA strategy with based gems like INJ, DUA, DOT and MATIC for the long term.

>>55498729
Hey Dave, doing pretty good. My wife and I are child free by choice, our rent is about $600 per month, no car payments, our combined income is 85k a year before taxes, we have just under 91k in savings, and no student debt. Only problem is I fucking hate my job and I can’t figure out where I belong so I’m really depressed and I neglect my health. What do?

>where dave

>>55521111
>I put my entire savings into Dogecoin
Good luck fren, and I hope it pays off on the long run, but personally, I won't make the mistake of putting a dime into that Elon musk doggy coin
something like Matic, Reef, dot, kava is better, even Ride that's just taking off, a low cap on x exchange
I'm looking for another entry before the integration of ride and play and earn into it's experience

>>55521111
Bad decision better to diversify your investment or atleast try for some good airdrops that's coming up like VENOM, SEI, QUAI QANX at least that can fetch you real money.

>>55501080
>$100k in t-bills
he would probably drop the call right here

>>55520679
>I'm holding $7000 dollars worth of RUNE. Down over 90%.
I hold some Rune ~50$ that a friend gave me, and even tired of watching them bleed
thou i will only lose them if i sell, this is why it's advisable to buy a token/coin like sylo or Reef with a purpose and hodl for long term.

>>55498729
>TAKE OUT DINING IS EXPENSIVE
>EAT DRY DOG FOOD TO SAVE MONEY

>>55498729
I've saved up 0.85 bitcoins. Trying to become a wholecoiner before the halving of course. My annual salary is $75k. I have about $16k in credit card debt, plus $20k in student loans at 4% interest. No car yet, but planning to buy a Toyota. My girlfriend works part time. What should our budget be for a house? I don't own cash by the way.

>>55499264
Hi Greg

>>55498729
Hi, dave Im 36 years old and have YOLO'ed most of my savings away into 0 DTE SPY puts. Well the market went straight up every day since March and I got liquidated. Also I live with my single mother, i have no job prospects and I haven't felt the touch of a woman in 5 years. Any advice? Maybe you can hook me up with your daughter or a rich single woman in your social circle?....Hello...D-dave..a-are you there?

>>55520679
>That's 63000 gone
I think this would apply to most folks if they're honest. For me most of this is just a "punt" with spare cash and to see what happens. All of the predictions and market trends, the benefits of one coin over another are meaningless to me. As long as I've seen a good buy signal on my Al indicator, I Just drop the cash into a few of them and watch the value go up and down, but with an overall upward trend after a long time. You niggas need to be wise and stop throwing money away as if it's spoiled food.

>>55529810
Reef, got caught up in Fomo, still haven't broken even
Sylo on the other hand is a complex project, and a really interesting one at that with a working product, I have a small bag that I planned to build up, my other holdings are eth, 1inch and a tiny bit of ada

Off topic spam mods do your fucking job entire catalogs filled with spam for days on end.

>>55498729
I have 11k in CYMi and I used it for my day to day transaction. Life is seamless with CryptMI.

>>55499724
based ramsey poster

>4 day old thread

>>55498729
Around 2,600,000,000,000.00 RBIF

>>55532797
I had to check if this is still the same thread - biz is truly dead

>>55533414
We really need some meme magic to revive
/biz/

>>55532797
/biz/ contains
1) retarded spammy generals about absolutely idiotic """investments""" that everyone with three digit IQ can see for what they are
2) crypto shitcoin spam
3) /smg/
this is literally a containment board, everyone with a brain already left, because there are plenty of places on the internet to shitpost about better than /smg/

>>55498729
Bitcoin Cash = $1897
XRP = $26

>>55534340
>there are plenty of places on the internet to shitpost about better than /smg/
name one

>>55534539

>>55498729
Hi Steve...uh...I mean Dave...FUCK!!! *click*

>>55498729
I fucked my money up, now I can't re-up
Ran up in his spot just to get my stacks up
Now I'm back on deck, so shawty, what the fuck you want?

>112 replies
>nobody has posted the hilarious vocaroo

>>55534774
Be the change you want to see in the world

>>55498729
Got 25k in crypto. Also got 25k in student loans/credit card debt. kek

>>55498729
Dave, I'm 22 and graduated from tech College, work full time in industry (still live with parents) and have 50k cash in my bank account. 7k in mutual funds. I really need to make this cash work for me... what do I do?

>>55509387
Lol

>>55498729
$500k student debt for my communication degree.

>>55498729
I'm fucked more than that white chick between 5 niggers. My 5 niggers are called rent groceries utilities gas credit card.

>>55498729
I'm in crippling debt (owe $360,000 USD), filed for bankruptcy and will be given a clean slate in February 2027.
I am on disability, so my income is low, but secure and steady.
I'd like to find ways to earn money with a side hustle or invest about 15-20% of what I make over the next 5 years.

>>55536416
Oh, and I have stacks of silver.

holding like 10k between btc and eth
thinking about buying RNDR as well
I am reading/studying day trading as well
i put about 800 monthly on btc and eth to hold and i wanna start putting around 300 to 500 extra for daytrading
idk what to trade yet though and not 100% sold on RNDR

I'm a 26 year old khhv dialing back my DCAing so I can save and go on a coom trip to Pattya.

>>55498729
100 XRP tokens, not selling before $10k.

>>55498729
I make millions, white women pay me to have my land wolf fuck them

>>55498729
I only have $700 and I dont want to eat beans and drive a shitbox the rest of my life. What do?

>>55540379
I've been seeing landwolf all over biz today...still time to get in?

>>55498729
Hello Dave, I have a couple thousand Wolf and that is all.

All or nothing