/biz/ - Business & Finance

>weekly one on ones

>let's circle back

At least you wfh

kek wagecucks always lose

>>54534280
>anon, can you please turn your camera on

>>54534280
What the fuck is a standup? Only thing I had was being amazon warehouse wagie and supervisors doing their 2 minute talk in the morning. What the fuck is >>54534521 this?

Do you want to move anything in out of the backlog?

>>54534665
It's a meeting where you discuss what you're doing and how things are going.

Needed for white color wages since they're never explicitly told what to do. They're just guilt tripped into providing as much value as possible for the business.

>We'll need to reprioritize to get back to you on the urgency of putting out the dumpster fire. For now continue with ensuring all the bathrooms have adequate potpourri above each toilet.

>>54534289
>>54534280
>>54534521
yammmmerrrooooooo

>>54534280
>daily standup when the product manager runs it
>43 minutes
>daily standup when he is out/busy and I run it
>5 minutes
I honestly don't know how he does it.

>>54536177
i had to leave a job because of this. Could not get shit done all day because of meeting queens that waste half of your day on some bullshit. Project managers/scrum masters need to get a fucking life

>>54534280
i like em

>>54536177
Because the employees need to complain about various new policies for 15 minutes before grudgingly accepting them.

one of the best things about covid and remote working were no fucking standups

>>54534280
>monthly get together with the director

>>54536388
My company found a way. They also found a way to 5x the number of managers so even less gets done!

Standup is an able-ist term

Please refer to your KANBAN handbook, we now exclusively use the term "daily"

And I swear to god OP if your fucking update is longer than 2 sentences of "I did X and I'm doing Y" I'm going to give you a 0.9 on your performance review. CHOP CHOP TRENCHIES WE'RE BUILDING SOFTWARE HERE

>>54534280

>I'll do you from behind

>>54536440
Also there's just no fucking reason to do an actual call or a physical daily.

Type in slack or whatever and then everyone can refer back to it later and see if they achieved what they set out to.

If your manager is running dailies that are longer than 5 minutes (10 for a LARGE team) complain to someone above him. He's fucking up the cult.

I know I am seeing a lot of back-and-forth on this topic, but I really need to push back and raise some red flags here. Having an on-site office presence is foundational to our ability to drive efficiencies in a corporate landscape. It's in our DNA. Sure, there is no one size fits all or silver bullet. Remote is only keeping us at a 30,000-foot-view of things. Being on-site, however, allows us to get better granularity, find better directional-indicators or loop back and dive deep into some critical issues on a go-forward basis.

I think if you all start spending more time in the office again, you'll find yourself trending toward the positive, but you'll have to keep an eye on the puck. Gut through it, reduce thrash, and let's stay in lock-step on this. Yes, we will synergize! I think given that we've been remote for so long it's easy to forget the benefits of working in the office.

What's the root cause of the hatred of corporate office spaces? Putting my layman's hat on and guess that it comes from movies such as Office Space and Dilbert cartoons. But we all know that these are fictional spaces, and real office spaces allow us to touch base in a much more efficient manner.

I have to time-box this comment, as I have a hard-stop in a moment when I will have to jump onto a call. So, just one more point that I want to cover-off on: let's socialize the idea of having more office presence and loop back to see whether we're being more impactful. From a management standpoint, I think that we can get the traction to do it.

So, net/net, ignore the naysayers, sidebar the folks that are stuck in the weeds, and don't waste cycles or bandwidth on folks that don't align strongly with this mission. Try it out, and we'll have another touch point in a little while to see if we've moved the needle. Remember, our north star hasn't changed. We're still championing our core values remotely and we will only do it better in person.

If you need me, I will be online again in a bit.

and for the children entering the workforce, dont use standups to lie about your resume in real time.

no one cares what you got done, everyone's just trying to make things move forward effectively. we just need to know what you're doing and how it relates to what everyone else is doing. don't lie for 10 minutes about shit you didnt do and waste everyone's time. no one cares, its weird, just tell me what you're doing.

literal idiocracy methodology

>>54536177
Every fucking morning for me. The meeting is timeboxed to 15 minutes, yet it still always runs for at least 30 every time.

>>54536542
Good post

>>54534280
>burndown charts
>momentum

>>54536542
sidebar this hotload into a loopback on a bottleneck of holes

>>54536177
I had people at my last job do this shit. Usually it's because they're trying to solve the problem in the meeting. Parking lot that shit.
Yes I did just use a business buzzword. Fight me.

>>54534280
>wake up
>going to the pc
>start betting a lot of csgo skins
>lose and win several times equally
>not winning or losing anything
>bed and sleep
>years go by
>wake up
>betting a lot of money in poolparty pools
>winning from time to time
>I don't deserve luck
>give it to charity or to my neighbor (she makes pie yummy)
>sleep and repeat
I haven't changed anything, I just evolved

>>54534280
>time for our biweekly virtual social!

I really, really appreciate having our group be made entirely out of introverted engineers. Including our manager who was just one of us until they got promoted because of a surprise retirement.
Meetings are quiet but to-the-point, so we can all see what we’re doing and then fuck off.

>>54536542
im gonna kms

>>54540642
lucky, my boss is an extrovert who keeps pushing us to present to the "larger organization" since people don't know what we do.

He's my 3rd boss in, I'm sure if no one knows what we do, we wouldn't exist as a unit.

I quit in June and I'm just gonna phone it in for the next two months. I feel somewhat restituted from 11 days of vacation, and will piss off for a seminar after working 1,5 days tomorrow and Wednesday.

>>54534280
>daily standup
Alright let's hear some jokes then anon

>>54534665
Its the morning routine for people in tech where everyone gets together and stands up around a big people (or at their desks at home, if WFH). Then each technical worker takes turns saying something technically complicated on something they are "making good progress on," to make it sound like they are being productive and managers each talk about how busy they were with meetings, the day prior. Then, everyone goes back to Facebook, Instagram, 4chan, etc. browsing, or drinking, smoking, sleeping, or fapping, if WFH.

>>54534280
I don't know why people are so pissed about these meetings. Just stop showing up to them. I got called out on it once and told the program manager that the meeting was a waste of time and that being forced to attend them distracts me from doing real work.

>>54534607