/biz/ - Business & Finance

>>5274910
Heh, you must excuse me, I just made 10k trading internet funny money, mother.

You made how much money?

How can I invest?

>>5274910
I MADE MORE MONMEY THAN ALL OF YOU NO COINERS IN THE LAST 24 HOURS AHHAAHHA NO I CANT CASH OUT BUT WHY WOULD ITS A STORE OF VALUE

>>5274910
this wouldn't happen because the christmas table doesn't take place at my house

>"ah excellent, another cave!"
>back chair away and climb under the table while family roars with laughter

>>5275005
this is the sound of a man that has turned to a madman i like it

>>5274910
>"Look who just came down from his cave?"

That hits a little too close to home, Anon.

>>5275010
holy shit would this work

not even the biggest normalfag would enjoy sitting at that table
christmas is for movies you fucking burgers

uncle vinnie there on the left looks like he can hook you up with some under-market-rate monero
good guy

>>5274910
>That milf on the left

Wew

>>5275057
>this would work
only if they like you in the first place, if they think you're weird it would make things worse

Jokes are relative.

>>5275069
>tfw you enjoy spending time with your family

>"Hey guys, I'm just going out to pick up annonetta from her latest photoshoot."
>walk out front door
>hop into my lambo
>tyres squeal as I take off

My crypto gains are larger than all their retirement funds combined. Kek, boomers.

Haven't been back home for xmas since i hit 18 this year i cashed out a little bit of gains to send nice gifts for everyone though

>look them dead in the eyes
>"fools..."
>*withdraw my air katana*
>"prepare to die"
>make my best XD face as I swing my air katana through their necks
>"IT'S BITCOIN CASHHHHHH CORE KEKS"

>Shoot up everyone
My bags are my family now

>>5274910
Are they eating butter?

what would you shill them based on their appearances?

>>5274910
C-Can i borrow some money from you mom?

E-E-Einsteinium f-f-fell

>>5275138
never said I didn't, christmas is top tier

>point to dad
>"look at this freakin bozo"
>dad's smile turns into a frown
>told me to to go college but I've made more money on crypto than 2 years of a degree job could get me
>whole family staring at dad, he's on the spot now
>dad gets up, gets with me in private
>shows me his blockfolio
>3 million dollars
>whispers "I'm proud of you son"
>gives me 5 bitcoin while we're stuffing our faces

>>5275005
>b-b-but anon! your cousin is a doctor! He made $115,000 this year! Oh, sure he just got out of medical school at 32 years old and has $700,000 in student loans to pay off for the rest of his life, but at least he has a real skill and a stable income unlike you! You just got lucky and will be stuck poor once your luck runs out like your uncle Blacksheep.

I literally just bought a house near me and slowly moving in. My poor ass cousins can barely afford to live and have to be wage slaves for at least another decade of their lives. They all got degrees and they all got fucked, yes even my doctor cousin.

lmao at the neet fantasies

>>5275335
XMR is hiding something.

>>5275010
>anon crawls under the table
>everybody silent, confused faces
>cousin kicks you in the chest, you try to get away but your head hits the table
>"anon it was a joke come out now"
>but you dont want them see your face now out of embarassement
>ruin everything

>>5275335

kek

>>5275426

>>5275630

aha

>sits down quietly, starts eating

>>5274910
"Litecoin is gonna moon again soon I swear"

>>5275306
Yes. Chunks of butter like that are a common appetizer in America.

>>5274910
Hey. Y-you too.

>>5275630
this is so autistic i love it

>>5274910
Jerk off in front of them and splat my cum onto the table.

>>5274910

y-y-y-y-you too

>>5275426
This would be my dream. My parents shilled college my whole life. Made me get good grades, got accepted to a top 100 uni, etc. 5 years after starting college, I’m barely a junior. Fuck that shit. I’ll make money my way. But I still just want my parents to be proud of me.

>>5275150

>mfw when you realize all your peers have negative net worth

>>5275630

HAHAHAHAHAHA

So autistic, I love it.

>>5275927
lol

>>5275788
This. Video related https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pUn3gf-0VlY

>>5274910
>come down in my dinner jacket
>start throwing hundreds at them

>>5274910
Unfortunately I only made like 60k that's pocket change for them

Wtf anon, I don't live at home with my parents

>>5274910
I tell them BCH is the real bitcoin and send Roger a kik to tell him he owes me BCH for another shillpost

"what up"

>>5274910
>tips fedora
>”gents and madams, I have secured my retirement in that cave” he says standing barefoot whilst wearing his cum spattered sweat pants and high school chess shirt

>>5275335
>Arkie slut
Kek

>>5274910
>when that white family adopt a black kid at a young age cause they wanna help out the minoritys but instead raise a manchild

No joke, when my parents have company over, I have to psych myself up just to open my bedroom door. I pace back and forth in my room until I muster the courage to walk out. Anybody else like this? Is it autism or just severe introversion?

>>5274910
grandpa has some nice tits

>>5276277

>gets punched in the chest whilst in mid-speech knocking the air out of your lungs by your big brother from college.

>"Hows goin lil bro!"

>>5276277
>high school chess shirt

HA

why is this so true???

>>5275630

>>5275495
It will become a reality in 2018 when crypto really explodes and we ascend. The wagecucks and boomers are finished. I already look down upon them, they are fools still partaking of the old system based on debt, corporate slavery, Self hating anti white sjw jew loving phaggotry.

We are part of the NEW SYSTEM based on freedom, pro nationalism, productivity and innovation. We are the new elite. Believe it my fellow NEETS.

2018 IS THE YEAR OF THE NEET!!! RISE MY BROTHERS, RISE!

>>5276277
>cum spattered sweat pants
Damn, this hits home.

>>5275630

>>5274910
haha yeah i totally 4x'd my money on bitcoin since summer
>i thought you said you put all your money in cranepink
haha...

>>5276382
ah, a fellow armpit dweller. PA or NY side?

>>5276399
*quickly sucks his dick before he can stop me*

>>5276376
right here

>BCH IS THE REAL BITCOIN AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>>5275996
I think about this a lot

>>5274910
"Oh look its another 10 assholes who i told to buy bitcoin and didnt"

>>5276345
is this true, big5guy?

>>5276376

Fuck man I do this, it's introversion right?

>>5276663
Unironically tried explain bitcoin to my dad last night. i think i left him off more confused than anything.

>>5274910
hop onto the signal discord and btfo my shitty family
https://discord.gg/srFAtER

>>5276490

found the lil bro.

>>5276476
DE

>>5274910
who are you people and what the fuck are you doing in my dining room. also since when do i have a dining room, who built this extension? when did i even get stairs, i used to be on the ground floor.... did you seriously just lift up the second story of my house while i was asleep and then build this dining room? what the fuck... was i knocked out or something? what day is this?

i would have a lot of questions, angry questions, possibly i will be wielding a large stick while asking these questions

>>5276785
Kek

>>5275335
Read the XMR guy last and audibly kek'd. Nice

>>5274910
>Hey anon, I heard you were trading bitcoins. Is that how you afforded the lamborghini outside?
>Bitcoins? Heh, you wish
>I got this baby by buying virtual ponzi eggs and living off the dividends because japanese people are fucking insane and will buy anything as long as it has a cute picture and can fight other eggs in a battle arena

Mods are fags for banning the etheremon threads.

>>5276432
nationalism using global crypto ponzi? nah dont think so buddy, would be nice but this will be our final nail in the coffin, get real

>>5274910
>sigh
>now this is a story all about how
>my life got flipped turned upside down
>and id like to take a minute, just sit right there
>ill tell you how i became the millionaire of a coin out thin air

>front door opens and the choir starts singing
>whole room erupts in harmonics
>everyone gets up and throws away their chair
>momma and pappa are singing
>brothers and sisters help granny get up from her seat
>banners are flying
>the orchestra chimes in with their trumpets
>my aunts are singing
>the uncles are flinging
>im a-tap-tap dancing
>we all go out in a cheer
>i slide across the hardwood floor infront of everyone on my knees
>arms spread
>baton on my hand
>end in a high note
>music halts
>everyone gets back to the table in perfect sequence

>father speaks
>now who wants to cut the turkey

Did you guys tell your immediate family/close friends that you invested in crypto? I did.

>>5275335
whats funny is that they all look like they would actually shill their respective coin.

>>5274910
>realizes he's richer than all of them combined despite living with his parents