/biz/ - Business & Finance

>>51704955

>>51704955
>I just got a job by LARPing as Bateman in the interview. I was sick of being myself and getting rejected so I just decided to try something different. I literally just tried to act and talk like Bateman does. Obviously when he's in normal mode, not when he's acting psychotic. I strongly recommend doing this if you're an autismo and don't do well in interviews.

>>51704955
>t. literal 14yo

>>51704955
I just screamed “peepeepoopoo” and threw my shit at the walls like a fucking monkey and I got the job. Your Bateman larp isn’t impressive.

>>51704955
That is literally the point of American Psycho. Its right in the title, people in America expect a "winner" to act like that. Sick shit.
>>51704998
Dumb fuck.

>>51704955
Shoot us some examples on what you said and did.

>>51704955

You do realize that once you cross the barrier most working places are more like ''the office'' instead of your psycho thriller shows.
So put your clown nose on, and you will be fine.

>>51704955
Give an example of what the fuck you're even talking about because the mental image I'm putting together is coming off as very autistic

>>51704955
Did you tell the lady that she should wear a dress and a high heels?

>OP is now imagining fanfiction where he is literally Patrick Bateman

>>51705436
When asked questions he looked slightly constipated but lightly serious, nodded his head subtly for emphasis and looked them dead in the eyes at the end of each sentence. He made short sentences which were well formed and deliberate. To cue he was done speaking he raised his eyebrows slightly and tilted his head to show he expected an answer. He leaned in when speaking and leaned back when questioned, asserting his dominance and confidence over the space. Upon greeting and leaving he smiled broadly and laughed naturally and shook their hands forcefully.

>>51705099
>>51705436
I didn't say anything weird or actually quote the movie. I just tried to copy his mannerisms and way of speaking. If you're autistic like me, this will work better for you than your actual personality.

>>51705099
Bryce was really the Chad in the group.

wow. you are most definitely a well adjusted grown adult who i would want to take advise from. you are most definitely not a stupid fucking zoomerfag who thinks movies are real life because he started using ipads when he was 3 years old

>>51705544
Checked and based. Look at those digits. Nice. Now OP let's see your digits.

>>51705596
Dude boomers and normalfags think movies are real life. The last 10 years have exhaustively proved that. Autists mimic movies because it works on normalfags. Where are you even from? Go back.

>>51705596
I am autistic but I would say that I am well adjusted. I live on my own and have had a job since I was a teenager. I'm 25, which makes me the oldest of the zoomer generation. I've never had an ipad and didn't have a smartphone until I was 18.

>>51705553
>at HR
>thank you OP for making it
>lucky, i guess
>so can you please tell us about your recent job?
>i'm very lucky
>your vita shows a 6 month gap in the year 2021, can you tell us about?
>it's uh, it's alright
>really, that's interesting. that's not great
>oh well, you know-
>so how's last job? it's a great firm. why are you leaving there?
>oh-yeah, i'm very lucky
>okay OP, i think we have everythink we need. please leave.
>kills everybody and the hobo on the way out

>>51705672
What makes you autistic then? That wasn’t a thing in my generation so I was able to avoid that diagnosis since unless you were like mentally retarded they just said you’re weird and you carried on with life
>>51705553
Ok but I asked for an example

>>51704955
I got my job by soft LARPing as bill clinton

>>51704955
>Let's see Paul Allen's answers.

>>51704955
i used to do random celeb impersonations when i was a bellhop. didn't help me with tips and nobody pointed it out, but it was fun and helped with my shitty, introvert personality

>>51704955
>What do you want to get out of working at our company?
>I want you to wash your vagina.

best thread on /biz/

>>51704955
congrats anon, you realized that faking it actually works some times. I hate people but have gotten pretty far in my career by being a "people person" and using corporate speak. don't get me wrong, i still have to work and deliver results, but jumping from worker bee to manager who makes $150k was entirely due to me embracing clown world and maybe 1/10th of my actual hands on tech skills.
I've talked about it before on here, but it's insanely easy to work your way up as long as you pretend to like people and treat people like real human beans. Don't infantilize them, but seriously listen and take their concerns and thoughts seriously. Be mindful of their boundaries. IT's so fucking easy.

>>51704955
congratulations, u have discovered the only way to function properly in a normie society as an autismo. now, try doing it on dates with women and be prepared for the next pill.

>>51705047
>That is literally the point of American Psycho. Its right in the title, people in America expect a "winner" to act like that. Sick shit.

>>51704955
>I just got a job
you mean you're ngmi
have fun with your salary you're too comfortable in mediocrity to leave behind, wageslave

>>51705596
At least he has a job you piece of shit.

Good going OP. I hope you manage to keep it up somehow.

>>51705553
why didn't you think of doing this before?
Are you sure you aren't full retard?

>>51705843
>Let's see the HR roastie's resume.
>>51705640
One of the vaccine shill's lines was, "You're not a protagonist in some movie. Just get the vaccine." Don't really know why it was repeated so much or why it was expected to cause a reaction.
>>51705553
I have unironically left people voice messages using Patrick Bateman's accent (also Paul Allen's accent when he says, "Halberstram, how the hell are ya?") and these people all returned my call immediately. Don't know what the accent is called though.

>>51704955
>I just got a job by LARPing as Bateman in the interview. I was sick of being myself and getting rejected so I just decided to try something different. I literally just tried to act and talk like Bateman does. Obviously when he's in normal mode, not when he's acting psychotic. I strongly recommend doing this if you're an autismo and don't do well in interviews.

>>51705047
>That is literally the point of American Psycho. Its right in the title, people in America expect a "winner" to act like that. Sick shit.

>>51707739
WASP American accent

>>51704998
Regardless of what he did, it landed him a job. Stop hatin broke nigga

>>51704955
Good to hear anon. I plan to also try being Patrick Bateman or maybe even Tom Cruise in his scientology video when I finally get out there have to talk to the HR roasties.

whats with every middle class white guy trying to larp at patrick bateman

>Instead of acting like my loser self I decided to act like a winner
>They then treated me like a winner
Well better late than never to figure this out I suppose

>>51707841
Christian Bale based his version of Patrick Bateman off of Tom Cruise, who now won't speak to him. The elevator scene in the book is also gold.

>lol is this kid really trying to act like bateman LMAO? Im just going to hire him and see how long he keeps it up beats hiring the Q boomer

>>51704955
>>51710527 has a point
Are you planning to keep the act up?

>>51707739
>Don't know what the accent is called though
That's just the way boomers in finance talk. I've seen it IRL. They're expected to talk that way so they come off as socially adjusted when they do. If they didn't it'd be as if a channer didn't greentext

>>51707739
Midwestern

>three HR bots welcome anon into the room
>anon takes a seat
>so .. anon, tell my what made you want to apply for this position in this company?
>come on guys, there are a lot more important things to discuss than my job position.
>oh? like what?
>we have to end apartheid for one
>slow down the nuclear arms race, stop terrorism, and world hunger.

>>51704955
Good on that company for hiring the mentally handicapped

>>51713795
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=72TwnCIcfbk

>>51704998
SEEth OLDFAG I"m a 19yo zoomer and look almost identical to christian bale. Not all of us lack true aesthetic

>>51714322
>almost identical to christian bale
albeit I look old for my age and im fuxking balding

>>51711420
lispy accent is ivy league bougee WASP socialite. upper manhattanfags of the 80's and 90's like in the movie metropolitan (1990) https://youtu.be/3plmkRy_k5o

it's a weird accent because it's clearly american but you have to make every anunciation of a word sound phonetically precise, kind of like speaking with a clean english accent fed through an american accent filter

>>51704955
Now you have to put that act on the whole time your working there

>>51714362
It's just the accent good communicators or presenters use if you want everyone in an audience to understand you. Which is why you'd see it in a corporate boardroom or wall street type setting. It also makes you sound more confident.

>>51714346
no way i just found this

>>51714404
if you're confident sounding like a snob, but can't back it up with a higher educated, lavish lifestyle, OP should do just fine lol

>>51705596
woman

>>51707741
>>51707768
paid demoralization shill probably all the same guy on a VPN with the other posts,
this bullshit leaked from /pol/ to /biz/ several months ago