/biz/ - Business & Finance

>>51394107
Assassination contracts on bouncers

>>51394107
Turn yourself into a pickle and hid an a paying attendee's ass

>>51394107
make and laminate a company ID.
buy a bluish jumpsuit and hat with logo
walk around with a ladder.

>>51394107
You gotta go down on your knees and earn your entrance fee the old fashioned way

>>51394107
go buy some fast food.
tell them your from grubhub.

>>51394203
i was thinking something like this
walking around with a bag of mcdonalds or something pretending to make a delivery
or applying for a press pass and just impersonating some shitty crypto blogger
should i just steal valor and demand entry as a thanks for my service?

>>51394239
grab a mop and bucket from the janitor closet.
tell them someone shat themselves.

>>51394107
Wear a neon vest and carry a ladder

>>51394107
Register website www.goldmansags.com

Use an email address from your newly acquired domain.

Tell them you need 2 tickets asap because your looking to onboard 2 enterprise customers on blockchain.

>>51394107
do this but with two obese dudes and a blue flannel instead of a trench coat

>>51394107
start shooting and when everyone is running, sneak in.
when they start up again, you'll already be inside.

>>51394286
like this

>>51394310
kek

>>51394107
tell them youre a mod or janny for preddit or /biz/
youre gonna have to dress up as a dickless tranny for this one.

>>51394203
This guy gets it. Put on a toolbelt, carry yourself like you're supposed to be there and people will rarely if ever challenge you.
Just speaking from experience as a contractor, don't hesitate or stop to talk to peons who give you an odd glance. They know their minimum wage isn't worth getting into some altercation, they also know on a subconscious level they aren't privvy to the ins and outs of a function/location. Have some backup quip like "I'm a vendor here working on the fire alarm" or something for the extra nosey plebs.
You can literally go anywhere you want, so long as you look the part.

>>51394484
You sound like Ricky from trailer park boys

>>51394107
cover yourself with literal shit, walk right in.
no one is going to risk touching you out of fear of getting literal shit on themselves.

>>51394107
just try to walk right on in.
if they stop you, insinuate that they wont let you in because your black or a tranny or both.
cause a huge scene.

>>51394107
make a contraption in a box that will expel smoke.
"accidentally" trip and expel the smoke.
immediately look around and go like "OH SHIT RUN RUN RUN!"
as the security runs, walk right on in, or run in as if you were seeking safety.

>>51394484
"Sergey could be here" he thought, "I've never been to smartcon before. Sergey could be anywhere." The toolbelt felt tight around his waist. "I LOVE CHAINLINK" he thought. with a toolbelt you can go anywhere you want. An audiobook of the chainlink whitepaper reverberated through all of the tools hanging from his waist. "With a toolbelt, you can go anywhere you want" he said to himself out loud

>>51394107
Disguise yourself as Sirgay

>>51395450
kek

>>51394107
just show up. they will need bodies to fill the space otherwise it will look completely empty. they will let you in free