/biz/ - Business & Finance

It’s darpa tech so probably not

>>50089831
Robotic implants are the absolute most retarded ways to treat the ailments that he claims he will "cure". Advances in stem cell therapies and 3D bio printing will destroy the medical applications of Neuralink.
Elon is a scammer, remember that too.

just like the roadster is coming in 2020
just like self driving is coming in 2017
elon musk the swindler

>>50089831
Elon is the best salesman in the world, but your portfolio cannot live in Futurama, especially now that interest rates are going up.

>>50089916
>Short term mindset
Inflation is still high and growth stocks have the best long term outlook

>>50089831
All monkeys died during trial. Neuralink does not work.

>>50089872
DARPA is far ahead of that.
If anything Elon is just used a as soft disclosure front to slowly introduce all these technology for the new system of the coming decades/century.

Note that this information came out a decade ago.
https://www.newscientist.com/article/dn21431-nerve-probe-controls-cyborg-moth-in-flight/

>>50089831
The only way a computer is on track to resolving illnesses is through extreme calculation of protein folding.

>>50091844
We are fucked as a species
How long until we’re all brainchipped and spied on by cyborg bugs?
I hate boomers

>>50089831
Yes, people are JUST queuing up to have the famously not-a-bullshitter Elon plant some half-arsed test implant in their brains. The cunt belongs in a pysch ward, for everyones good.

>>50089831
will neuralink cure homosexuality and autogynephilia?

>>50091978
being ded cures most things, yup.

>>50089831
>Cures conservatism
Cool

>>50089906
Don't forget his "Vegas Loop" technology that turned out to be a buried single-lane roadway.

>>50089831
>>50089906
>>50093037
List of Elon Musk Fails:
>Tesla FSD: NEVER HAPPENED, CONFIRMED SCAM.
>Solarcity roof tiles: Confirmed scam, abandoned
>Hyperloop: Confirmed scam, currently on hold
>Las Vegas Loop: total fail, other Boring company projects on hold
>Rockets: As the news implies, they are crashing and burning as we speak
>Falcon Superheavy: hasn’t flown since June 2019
>Neuralink: 99% scam, ongoing
>Cybertruck: Couldn’t even beat Rivian to market
>Humanoid: Dumb as shit, 99% scam material.
>Tesla Semi: behind schedule, status unknown
>Roadster 1: behind schedule, status unknown
>Dragon capsule on Mars by 2018
>Humans on Mars by 2020
>Starship - won’t reach orbital speeds any time soon
>1 million robotaxis that make you 35k per year by 2020
>Reusable rockets (SpaceX defines reusability with a turn around time of 24 hours, the best SpaceX has managed is on par with the Shuttle at 1 month)
>Boca Chica will totally be for Falcon series rockets FAA trust us
>Free supercharging
>Tesla cars with “cold gas thrusters” to lift them out of traffic
>Tesla cars that drive to customers' houses
>Tesla Summon from across the country
>Tesla cars under 35k (actually recently increased prices across the board by 5k lmao)
>Tesla accepting bitcoin
>Hertz buying 100k Tesla cars
>Point to point rocket travel
>Securities fraud - solarcity bailout specifically
>Submarine will save trapped people in cave
>Promised to donate ventilators - turned out to be Chinese bought CPAP machines
>Promised to help Puerto Rico after the hurricane
>Promised to sell all possessions
>No new cases of Covid by April of 2020 and that children are immune to Covid
>Promised to fix Flint, Michigan water crisis
1

>>50093629
>No underground NY-Phil-Balt-DC Hyperloop. NY-DC in 29 mins.
>No battery swaps "faster than filling a fuel tank"
>No “GigaFactory as a product”
>No solar powered superchargers
>Boring company “flamethrower” - jacked up price of a roofing torch
>Tesla “tequila” - jacked up price of shitty tequila in cool bottle
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7oZ-AQszEI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Likwxdx5mE]

Just put a literal chip in your brain bro

>>50089831
Yes I had a dream about a giant butterfly that shits on people and heals them, I would say it's a realistic competitor to Elon's "idea", it will materialize in this world any day now, buy my stock pls.

>>50093657
I'll take two bro!

>>50093629
>1 million robotaxis that make you 35k per year by 2020
I think, in a heavily competitive field, this might be my favourite. Purely as he expanded upon his usual vaporware idiocy and wandered off into absolute delusion, complete with fixed dates, etc. That no-one to date has ever class-actioned this fat fucking retard over his endless bullshit remains a mystery.

>The conman promises another thing he won't deliver
Quelle surprise

>>50093629
>https://www.newscientist.com/article/dn21431-nerve-probe-controls-cyborg-moth-in-flight/

you had me until the covid bullshit

>>50093629
>>50093644
>Elon invents casually a million things personally and runs a half dozen companies as richest man in the universe
>Autist on a pajeet coding forum categories his entire life and finds 50 random things he was bullshitting about or didn't wort out (yet). Maintains an erection while xe imagines Elon hate fucking them while promising free Mars trips with every purchase of neuralink Model G

Curious phenomena

>>50089831
>put a chip in your brain
>illness cured

>>50093939
It's okay, you'll realize Elon Musk is a conman eventually. Either when his companies go bankrupt and you lose your investments, or when Elon winds up in prison for securities fraud.

>>50089831
How many monkeys did he kill again? Until he stops killing monkeys, I'm not sticking any shit in my brain.

>>50094163
https://pop.inquirer.net/120447/15-of-23-monkeys-implanted-with-elon-musks-brain-chips-reportedly-dead
>15/23 died
Not liking these odds

>>50093629
why would failing be bad?

>>50094210
Ask a ded monkey.

>>50089831
hopefully it will cure his own, imagine feeling clever for buying btc at 33k, what a loser

>>50089831
NeuraLINK - Imagine when every person is an IOT device supplying data to a decentralised network fulfilling contracts. When you die your life insurance policy will automatically get paid to your wifes boyfriend

>>50089906
FUCK THIS BITCH BASTARD BHENCHOD. HE SCAM ME OUT OF 12K FOR FSD. THE AUTOPILOT IS SO SHITT THAT I TURN IT OFF PERMANENTLY. IT IS SCARY TO DRIVE AND DANGEROUS. BASTARD TESLA REPS DONOT DO SHIT.

>>50090065
Growth stocks get butfucked by interest rates

>>50089831
>>50089906
>>50089916
is there no law against CEOs of publically traded companies being blatant ponzi scheme peddling and lying psychopaths? the best you can hope for is that this piece of shit croaks in the next 10 years.

>>50094050
>, or when Elon winds up in prison for securities fraud.
That's not going to happen, he's a NWO asset.

>>50093629
>>50093644
>>Rockets: As the news implies, they are crashing and burning as we speak
I don't like Musk either but you are utterly fucking retarded if you can't admit the Falcon 9 is the most successful American rocket ever (and the boosters are reusable unlike 50 year old Russian trash cans)
Go jerk off thunderf00t into your mouf, bich

>>50095615
Falcon 9 is barely an improvement (and in some ways it’s worse. It takes several Falcon 9 flights to bring to LEO as much cargo/crew as 1 shuttle flight.
The Falcon 9 is basically a more expensive Soyuz.

>>50089831
This guy is 100% a scammer

>>50095939
You literally have no idea what you're talking about
>price per kg of Falcon 9: $5500 for rideshare, $2950 if fully booked and expendable
>price per kg of Space Shuttle Payload: $18,000

>The Falcon 9 is basically a more expensive Soyuz.

>Price of booking Soyuz through Arianespace: $80 M
>Price of booking Falcon 9 in 2022 (after 10% inflation price hike): $67 M
All of which you could have learned in 5 minutes of web searching
seriously shut up, it's embarrassing how little you know

Someone has to pave the way for this tech... It'll probably be good in the future.

>>50095939
On not to mention Falcon 9 has never led to fatalities, unlike the massive piles of shit that were the space shuttles
I bet you think they were better though because they look more "reusable" because they used that lifting body design instead of a capsule, even though they had more disposable components than F9/Dragon, because you're a brainlet

>>50093939
jews on tv started telling people to hate him when he started questioning their narratives

>>50093939
>>50096208
you will never go to space

>>50096122
Does that account for the $3,000,000,000 that SpaceX took from NASA??
Sure is funny when one program includes development costs, whereas development costs are all but omitted from SpaceX’s prices.
https://www.theregister.com/AMP/2020/06/10/russias_space_agency_spat/

>>50091945
>>50092913
>>50095500
What are you trannies doing outside of your containment board? Back you go: >>>/lgbt/

>>50096632
>Does that account for the $3,000,000,000 that SpaceX took from NASA??
Does the Soyuz figure include however much the vatniggers pumped into that shitty technology??

???

?

>>50096632
>was totally BTFO
>has to post Russian copium from a dumbfuck JOURNALISM MAJOR (Rogozin is NOT an engineer, did YOU know THAT?)
Why does the development cost suddenly not matter for the space shuttle price per pound? What about the Russian effort to switch from hypergolics which they were using forever to modern LOX/RP-1?
You're just wrong about everything, stop talking

>>50091844
All they managed to do was make a moth abdomen spazz right and left. They are far from controlling complex behaviors like flight. The other major issue is that these devices are difficult to manufacture and get rejected by the body in the long term.

>>50089831
Yes, I'm forming one that actually uses novel, noninvasive tech.

>>50096809
Son, take a hint.
Try savaging someone in your own league first.
You may then realise before making yet another tit of yourself, being witty online is not for everyone, and never for you.

>>50098234
biophotomodulation or EEG?

>>50096934
Sure, but that's just the declassified stuff and fairly old. I'd still bet DARPA is already decades ahead of neuralink level tech.

>>50095279
You're a fool to have believed him.
Think how shit nearly all software is.
Ms word, for example, you move some image and all the formatting goes crazy.
You think computers can drive?
I'm a developer for a major company, I will never get in a self driving car.

>>50100542
I doubt it. These government contractors are often less sophisticated than you think. Neuralink bamboozled every researcher at every institution when they described the density and scale of manufacturing of sew-able electrode probes.

>>50099519
It's more on the side of ultrasound neuromodulation

>>50099491
Did you think that was a clever response, Twitter tranny? The irony of someone of your ilk calling for others to get institutionalized in a psych ward. Amazing.

>>50096208
Anyone who isn't a complete retard already hated him.

>>50101873
>t. woketard

>>50089831
Neuralink is snake oil.

Can I buy stock in it? This is awful, but normies will do it once other normies do it

Neuralink is a legit scam. All the OG founders left and the patents the company have say the device barley works on animals and doesn't work on humans.

>>50104489
Peter Theil says only the leader aka Elon musk is important. The OG founder scientists are dumb idiots who didn't know anything

>>50089831
None, nobody else tortures monkeys to gruesome deaths larping as cyberpunk neurosurgeons.

>>50094032
Cannot be ill if we control your perception.

>>50104539
Did you just ignore the last part? the device doesn't work according to THE PATENTS.