/biz/ - Business & Finance

>>29790993
You're gonna make it, anon.
just look them in the eyes and shake their hand firmly.

>>29790993
It's night time. You're going to suck some dicks, aren't you?

show up drunked

Good luck buddy

>>29790993
Like ... for work? On purpose?

>>29791119
This. Show up weeded, too.

>>29790993
Just be yourself

>>29790993
Get your cock out and piss on them.

>>29790993
You have a job interview at 11 PM?

>>29790993
I always take a shot or two before an interview. One time I took 3 because I was especially nervous and really needed the job. The booze started kicking in hard during the last 10 minutes of the interview. I started forgetting the questions they were asking me as I just kinda rambled aimlessly.
Got the job as usual tho. I think 2 shots is the sweet spot for me
t. 6 figure IT wagie

>>29791323
West coast bro

>>29791323
people live in different time zone mate

>>29791323
>implying europoors have jobs

>>29791352
>

>>29790993
What’s the job?

>>29791417
what the fuck is a timezone

>>29790993
Good luck anon! Make us proud

Very good wagie, show up to the slave masters and spread your buttcheeks. Remember to work hard!!
They own you wagie remember that, you havent taken any drugs have you wagie?? We will test you anyway. We own you

>>29790993
You can do it OP. I believe in you.

>>29790993
what job is it OP?

Tell them to buy chainstink

>>29791625
There is an overwhelming chance you're trolling but there is a small tiny minute chance you're serious and for that you've earnt a mild chuckle

>>29791488
Holy fuck

>>29791952
>>29791527
Engineer. I dont know shit i just have a degree

>>29790993
Had one today before current work. Probably failed, news in a few weeks. It was such a great position too, duck me.

>>29790993
Remember to update us after. I like threads like this.

>>29793409
I feel like this will be me when i graduate. Good luck OP

>>29791323
>>29791417
America is the only place that matters. .

>>29790993
How do I open a short position on this anon's job prospects?

>>29790993
remember to ask if they want extra, like cheese, or to make it a meal.

>>29790993
Man if they gave you the 4pm Friday slot then you’re fucked

>>29791488
>no rear delts
ruined the illusion

>job interview on Friday night
Yeah right

>>29794266
I asked for it

>>29793941
I'll sell you sum

>>29790993
just make strong eye contact, shake their hands while looking them in the eye. and be talkative but in a professional manner.

>>29794266
“Who takes a meeting at 4 PM on a Friday“ - The Big Short

>>29790993
Unironically make jokes at their expense. It's how I got my six figure job.

>>29795156
OP if you want success listen to this guy

Mine's on monday. Just talking to the recruitment woman made me remember how shitty wageslaving is. Kill me already.

>>29795801
just wageslave at a job with other wageslaves who are fun to be around. anything involving manual labour usually has some cool frens

>>29790993
Gl fren

just be tall and handsome. wagecucking isn't made for ugly people unless you are overqualified.

>>29795854
My job interview is for a remote Data Science job in which I will probably be the only one doing it. It will suck but those cheap linkies are worth it.

Hope you took phenibut. That shit got me a job 3 days after I graduated

>>29791352
based brewmaster

>>29796007
isn't that almost like a benzo? isn't it addictive?

>>29790993
Stare him in the eye and never look away. Stare the job interviewer down. Assert your dominance.

>>29790993
w-what is a job a-anon kun?

>>29790993
Be like Frank Abagnale remember, be confident JUST BE CONFIDENT BRO WHAT PART ARE YOU NOT UNDERSTANDING

>>29793595
Yeah don't be an asshole OP
>>29791488
Checkd

All the job interviews are on zoom now, I don't even bother putting my pants on.

>>29790993
mmm a new demoralization apu

Flip it and interview the interviewer.

>>29797771
I am considering jerking off during my interview to be relaxed.

>>29797953
incorrect thought pattern. you are thinking in the wrong direction. you need to be saving up your coom not draining it. saving up your coom builds up your confidence.

>>29790993
I believe in you anon :3
deep breaths and be confident
when asked why should hire, just say "why you should hire me? well your qualifications say this and that. I have experience with this and that for years, which would make me the best candidate" or whatever

>>29798048
Ok, I will not coom in the next 2 weeks. Any suggestions to build confidence for a Zoom interview?

>>29798169
lift weights, eat healthy, sleep 8 hours, get sunlight, try to socialize a little if you can, keep your coom saved up. you can coom after the interview if you wish

>>29798342
You sound like a gay yoga instructor, which gives me confidence in your words. I will listen to you, senpai.

>>29798511
checked. good luck bro

>>29798169
And also becuase of the high test levels due to semen retention, testosterone decreases the incidence of lying and makes you more cooperative with other men, hence the awesome civilization built before porn :3 and also confidence

>>29790993
enjoy your interview

>>29790993
imagine working, amh

>>29795801
>recently got a job
>HR lady couldnt show up for interview because of weather
>interview with plant manager and VP of operations instead
>both are cool and easy to talk to and can fill me in on what actually goes on way more than any HR cunt could and actually know what to look for because they have hands on experience
>off hand they manage to guess most of the questions HR cunt would have asked
>get the job
>HR bitch sends me all the documents and shit i gotta sign
>several spelling mistakes and really basic formatting errors that a kid in highschool would know how to fix
>sends the documents in pdf only, have to specifically request .docx so I can just insert my signature that way
>shes the HR manager for a company of 500+ employees
I hate women so much.

>>29790993
Had one earlier. Didnt get the job. At least I knew same day :/ bummed out cause it was actually not that bad. Well guess ill stay unemployed for another year not counting my short stint.

>>29798511
semen retention is unironically the secret to making it, anon. it's that 'one weird trick' that actually works. it brings you closer to your True Self

>>29790993
>2 hours ago
How'd it go, OP?

>>29790993
For what, to become a jannie?

>>29799066
i eschewed wanking this morning and now i am posting on 4chan for the first time in eight years...
not a great start to the decade!

Make sure you tell them you trade crypto

>>29801266
checked. welcome back. enjoy your stay

>>29793710

>>29791488
He needs a little work on his neck.

>>29801439
i don't understand why the frog and the bear are sometimes drawn with child-like proportions

>>29793595
>>29796748
I was interviewed by two giganormies. The two dudes would stop talking about themselves and their company. I could barely get a word in. Even if they hire me there is no way i will survive among high energy giganormies

>>29797844
Demotalization apus/pepes are great

>>29799004
It really shouldn't exist as a job. Entitled parasitic fuckers

>>29791488
>1488

>>29791352
I'd do this but if I have to do any coding questions it might fuck me.

>>29799004
>he doesn't know how to insert a signature in a pdf

>>29790993

So OP, tell me about yourself.

>>29807018
Ummm uhhh i uhh hmmm uh

>>29799004
>have to specifically request .docx
who the fuck specifically requests Microshaft wangblows bloatmaxxed shitware

>>29807018
29, never worked, kissless virgin, college drop out because depression and anxiety issues, live with my mother, spend most days masturbating and day trading

>>29807200
Based

>>29793710
thats true yes but hes retarded