/biz/ - Business & Finance

>>26785739
lol dunno

Alcohol, cocaine, and probably a few bullets.

>>26785739
a bullet

>>26785772
rolling for this.

how many people do you think have offed themselves due to losses completely engineered by these guys? My guess is not zero.

>>26785739
a noose
wait I meant a bu

>>26785772
Rollin

>>26785739
Kek buy NOK calls at market open to cover our gargantuan losses

>>26785739
Enough internal screaming to shatter every window on earth.

>>26785739
terminal velocity and pavement

>>26785739
Has their site always looked like this?

>>26785739
Pink wojaks

>>26785772
Came here to say this

>>26785772
Kek

>>26785739
I work for forbes and had a chance to interview the Melvin ceo. Here’s a preview of our chat for my biz bros Just got off the phone with the Melvin capital ceo
https://vocaroo.com/1cv3hXwcRPAN

>>26785739
bullets hopefully lol

>>26785739
>OY VEY

Probably nothing more than just some red in their Q1, they're going to be fine.

>>26785739
How do you say “Fucking GameStop” in Yiddish?

>>26786109
>That 'oy vey' at the end

>>26785886
Probably on Friday they will all an hero. Reddit literally killed people.

HOW WILL I BE ABLE TO BUY A CLONE OF JIMMY NEUTRON FOR MY NEPHEW'S BAR MITZVAH NOW

>>26786199
>Losing billions of shekels in a day is fine
Nice cope Melvin Capital fag

>>26785739
pavement, hopefully

>Please G-d let tomorrow's FUD campaign and disinfo about selling GME for AMC and GME trading freezes and brokerage shut downs succeed

>>26786109
Fucking hell, nice

>>26785739

>>26785739
Take a look for yourself lmao
https://twitter.com/SecureProfit/status/1354587467702263808

>>26785739
extreme seething, possibly coping

>>26786109
Omfg so based

>>26786015
no got updated to a single page of just this today

>>26786516
maximum kek

>>26786516
(You)

>>26786109
>jewish music intensifies

mega kek

>>26786109
Holy fuck lmao

>>26786109
I haven't drank any water today cus I'm retarded. My sides are cramping so bad dude fuck youuuuuu

>>26786516
>no masks
Can't be current

>>26786005
So technically the last thing through his mind could be his ass

>>26785739
>It’s 4am
>Be Laurence Fink, Blackrock CEO
>You wake to a knocking at the door of your penthouse apartment
>Knocking gets louder, more frantic when you ignore it
>What the fuck.gif
>Get out of bed and drag yourself over to answer, irritated
>Open the door to see Gabriel Plotkin, Melvin Capital CEO groveling in front of you, wringing his hands
>”Gabe, what the fuck is this?—”
>He looks really bad, bags under his blood shot eyes, his hair a tangle of sweat, soaking his $7,000 crumpled up mess of a suit. The smell of urine assaults your nostrils.
>”T-the money, Fink, I need more money!!! Please!!!!”
>He grabs your by your nightshirt and you push away in disgust. His breath smelled like cheap whiskey and cigarettes.
>”What?? What are you talkin’ about Gabe? Jesus christ, we loaned you 2.4bill!!!”
>”Gone,” he moans, starting to weep, great big ugly sobs. “The retards didn’t sell, Fink! It’s all gone, I n-need more...just to last another week! They’ll get bored, we told CNBC to—”
>You backhand him, cutting him off and he curls up into a ball as you keep beating him
>”You fuck! You rat!” You kick him in the ribs until you hear a crack. You hit him harder and harder, as if expecting the missing 2.4billion loan to explode out of him like a piñata.
>But you know the moneys gone and never coming back
>”Finished!!!!” You shriek at the top of your lungs, causing your wife and her boyfriend to come running out of bed to see what all the commotion is about. “Financially ruined!!!!!”

>>26786516
Pls be real

>>26786362
>We did it Reddit!

>>26786870
nice touch in the last bit, very good.

>>26786516

>>26786800
I'm not in the US but nobody wears masks at my work outside the labs.

>>26785772
based

>>26786109
>that trumpet fight part
10/10

>>26786516
He don't like the stock

>>26786109
>>26786870
Im going to piss myself holy fuck

Something like this

>>26785739
Oy vey this is all so VERY anti Semitic

>>26786516
Nice

>>26786109
fucking kek lmao

>>26786109
Holy shit that oy vey at the end.

>>26786109
9/10 would listen to again

>>26785739
>BUT I'M THE WEALTHIEST JEW IN THE UNIVERSE THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE!!!! MOOOOOOMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>>26786109
Kek
“Do you have the stone?”

>>26786109
I cant breath lmao

>>26785739
https://twitter.com/SecureProfit/status/1354587467702263808
something like this

itt poors seething

Does anyone here believe that the shorting Melvin did wasn’t illegal? None right? So what if are they chances the SEC wants to rescind the illegal short sells and reclaim the stocks and refund the original buy prices and return them and just slap a million dollar fine on them instead (which will be nothing and effectively let them get away with it) or just throw a scape goat In prison for a few years

>>26785739
Who cares? You're all vultures preying on the same carcasses.

So you knocked around the big one, big whoop. You're still going to do his business and bring him food when it counts.

>>26785739
>tfw you're too poor for your wife to divorce you

>>26787894
Rewriting the rules in the middle of the game totally fucks consumer confidence, which is far more devastating to the market than a hedge fund getting liquidated. They absolutely will change the rules after this shitstorm is over to make sure it doesn't happen again but they can't do it now. What you're suggesting wouldn't just fuck over retail investors, it would also fuck everyone who lended those shorted stocks.

>>26785739
Adrenochrome. They're currently muttering gematria in darkened temple halls in order to manifest market changes.

>>26785772
Yeah

>>26785772
12 of them

>>26787854
The only poors seething right now are the hedgies

>>26785772
rolling

>>26785739
>We’ve shorted this stock six times now, and we’ve become exceedingly efficient. At. It.

>>26786109
This is better than porn

>>26788227
cry more

>>26785739
>Now?
Hopefully how fucked they are
>Later?
Hopefully bullets or concrete.
Do you think the jumpers will do a flip?

>>26786109
Holy fucking shit my sides

>>26785739
Pavment after friday

>>26788265
lol not selling

>>26785739
>These idiots think we're gonna buy their bags! Fucking lol!

>>26785739
hopefully the contents of a .38 cartridge.

>>26785956
kek

>>26788382
Why would we be crying when we just made a bunch of kikes lose billions? Are you dumb kid?

Well now we have the audio it seems kek

>>26785739
Can't even imagine. Imagine being a privelaged fuck and then dramatically being dabbed on by the working class.

>>26786516

>>26785739
Do people not realize that Citadel pays for RobinHood's order flow? They literally see the trades before they hit the floor. They've been pocketing both sides, while we pretend we're taking it to the man...

>>26786109
Long have I not heard something this funny from this boards

>>26786109
HAHHAHAHA

>>26786870
ayyy kek

>>26788950
Short selling cannot be undone that quickly, even if you see the numbers right before they hit the floor. It's kind of a permanent gamble, and no amount of hindsight can change that.

Sidenote: couldn't this be considered insider trading?

>>26785739
>>26785772
>>26786870
>*massive heart palpitations and screaming into the void*

>>26788950
Don't matter, someone still has to pay for the shares.

>>26789578
>>26789578
It's not about undoing the shorts, it's about adding additional shares to short. By being able to see order flow before they hit the floor, Citadel can just have their ALGO's buy in before the momentum swings seen with exiting positions. Once the price has been driven up, the sell off their shares, adding to the available amount to short, and generate profit along the way

>>26786109
AAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH

>>26785739
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

>>26785886
A few dozen boomers on Friday are gonna be found out cold by their neighbors or families, internet autists literally destroyed some boomers poor bear mentality and it is fucking amazing

>>26785772
Yes

>>26785956
Based

>>26785956
MONSTROUSLY BASED

>>26786109
KEK

Get rekt u bunch’s normies

>>26785739
>If only we let them play video games.

>>26785739
>What's going through their minds right now /biz/?
I dunno what's going through their minds right now, but within a week it'll be the pavement.

>>26785772
One less douchebag in the world. Praise kek

>>26787937
Stay mad, Melvin.

>>26786495
finally, everyone has been brought together over their hatred of the jew

>>26787937
Do a flip

>>26785772

>>26786109
>https://vocaroo.com/1cv3hXwcRPAN
you're a voice over for southpark

Their spines as they jump off the 22nd floor

>>26785739
.22LR

>>26786109
haha God bless your soul

>>26785772
roll

>>26786109
Holy fuck

>>26786109
You dropped this.

>>26786109
fucking based

my lil gme stock doing some

>>26786109
This is exactly what I expected as a statement from Melvin.

>>26786109
LMFAO!!!

>>26785956
Kek

>>26786516
>nooooooooo, fucking goy....you are not allowed to play the game noooooo I'm so fucking mad right now look at me reeeeeeeee

Hmm

>>26785739
>I sure hope they dont find out we're still massively short LGND.

>>26786109
This is the post of the year. Hands down.

>>26786870
Finkished!!!

>>26786109
kek

Their CEO has locked himself in his room and everyone can hear the crying through the door. He refuses to take responsibility.

>>26785956

>>26785739
They don't have a care in the world. You think the money at risk is their own? haha learn to Jew friendo. That money is Goy money as well.

>>26786109
FUCKING WEW LAD

>>26785772
rolling

>>26785956
Jajaja

>>26785739
ScreamingBleedingRedFaceWojak.jpeg

>>26786109
>https://vocaroo.com/1cv3hXwcRPAN
literally kekd

>>26794776
retard niggerfaggot

>>26785739
cement hopefully
(in minecraft)

>>26785772
rolling

>You must realize that most robbers do not actually want to steal all your crypto


That might be comforting if most robbers weren't niggers and therefore fucking retarded and show fucking scam projects

> Still you can find how they try to tell about fake shit 1000% income

That’s why I don’t listen to them and use my own pool on Poolz lol

>>26785772
Rollerino

>>26786109

Normies are finally waking up to the jewish question after this meltdown

>>26785739
Gamestomped

DO NOT SELL GME THIS WEEK!!
FRIDAY IS A GAMMA-SQUEEZE, WHICH IS A CHANGE IN STOCK PRICED FROM ALL OF US BUYING SHARES AND PUMPING ITS VALUE

THE HISTORIC SHORT SQUEEZE WILL TAKE PLACE THRU THE NEXT 1-2 MONTHS, BUT *ONLY* IF YOU HOLD YOUR SHARES THRU THAT TIME

SHORTLETTES ARE TRYING TO SCARE PAPERHAND ANONS WITH STOCKS INTO SO MUCH EXCITEMENT OVER FRIDAY IT SHAKES THE STOCKS RIGHT OUT OF YOUR WEAK PUSSY ASS HANDS BECAUSE YOU'VE NEVER HANDLED BIG-BOY MONEY BEFORE

DO. NOT. SELL.
NOT THIS WEEK, NOT NEXT WEEK.
IF EVERYBODY HOLDS, YOU WILL SEE INSANE GAINS OVER THE NEXT 1-2 MONTHS
DEPENDING ON HOW MUCH HEDGE CAPITAL IS REVEALED TO BE TANGLED IN THIS NET OF SHORT LOANS, WE COULD VERY WELL SEE STOCK VALUE EXCEED $5000/SHARE

BUT NOT IF YOU GET SO FUCKING EXCITED ABOUT HANDLING MONEY YOU DROP YOUR STOCKS BEFORE THE SQUEEZE EVEN HAPPENS

FUCKING EDUCATE YOURSELVES, READ UP ON GAMMA SHORT, READ ON SHORT SQUEEZE
DON'T SELL THIS WEEK, DON'T SELL NEXT WEEK
THE SHORT SQUEEZE ONLY HAPPENS IF YOU HOLD WITH DIAMOND HANDS

>>26786109
Cringe

>>26785772
The pavement at high speed is more likely.

>>26785739
Looks like they truly covered at least a large portion of their positions. Will this affect the expected squeeze in the upcoming week? Days to cover is still at ~ 6 days, so this high could even last beyond monday if people actually continue holding.

>>26795215
Get back in the oven hedgie

>>26785772
/thread

>>26795055
Lol no. Normies think Jews are white. They see no difference other than religion.

>>26785956
lol

>>26785772
let me roll lmao

>>26785956
lmao if you check melvins wiki entry on google it still says WAS

>>26786495
This image is insanely thought provoking. Ancap and ansoc coming together for ows was so close to causing a fundamental shift that the powers that be invented and weaponized idpol. Wonder how they'll respond to everyone but private equity and cnbc being ok with this?

>>26795403

read >>26795088

>>26786109
oh my god I'm gonna wake up the entire house, fucking kek this needs more attention

>>26786516

S E E T H I N G

>>26786109
So god damn good.

>>26785739
This is what happens when you make it so guys have no reason to find a wife and start a family. They have shit tonnes of excess cash and fuck up kikes. All of a sudden leaving white men alone to have families seems like the better option for the eternal theiving jew.

>>26785739
The pavement.

>>26786109
based

>>26786109
>109

>>26786109
hedge fund fight

>>26786109

>>26787937
Vultures will always have a food source, Melvin.

>>26786109

>>26785739
this

>>26788382

Lampshade! cactus!

ALICE SPRINGSSSS!!!!

if that made no sense at all to you... welcome to the experience of reading your posts

>>26787711
> THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE!!!! MOOOOOOMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

picrelated: Jewish grandma says otherwise.

>>26785739
really getting a nice wall and ceiling paint job going, it'll look modern art but it's kinda trad

>>26785739
If there is no final resort, they have to go to Israel to give up 99.99% of lands to the rightful owner, Palestine.

>>26785956
>was
Kek

>>26788569

hopefully they already have some because ammo is expensive right now and these fucks are about to be flat broke hahaha
might have to settle for a sidewalk finale

>>26786109
okay my neighbours now think I'm a crazy cunt, holy shit

>>26786109
Kekekeekek

>>26786109
INCREDIBLE

>>26786516
let these cunts BURRRRRRN!