/biz/ - Business & Finance

>>25253461
explain

>>25253461
It's because we work at better hedge funds

>>25253461
Please tell us more. Smarter how? What are the next moves you guys are doing?

>im smarter than someone who chooses to slave away for mr sheckelstein instead of work for their own benefit
not surprised.
many such cases

>>25253461
Smarter? No just autistic

>>25253496
I work at McDonalds and I eat hedge funds for breakfastttt

>>25253483
you can train monkeys to do whatever you want, but not creative thinking. Some things i've read here especially in 2017 were smarter and more intellectually creative than some of the shit we do at work. rly makes u think

>>25253461
a hedge fund just flew over my house

>>25253461
Anon, I hate to break it to you, but a lot of your co-workers are probably only there because their rich parents knew the guy that runs the place and he got them a job.

>>25253561
I bet you have never put a sharpie in your pooper for cash... that's a life changing experience

>>25253561
such as?

>>25253498
Buying TSLA calls.

>>25253609
no senpai, its about excelling in following orders and being thorough. Also about staying sharp while working >11hrs a day. Nothing about strategy creation or thinking out of the box. There's no time for that lmao. That shit is only done by PMs. Most of the analysts are utilized in following the strat, rehashing old models for new firms, etc, as opposed to thinking outside the box, expanding coverage to different industries and taking time to discover new things. I've some of this in this board.

basically there is no space for autistic thought in hedge funds. you're doing good retards, dont ever forget that

>38/m
>$14/hr
>Chef at Wendy's

>>25253763
I despise the work space. So no need to tell us. Doing good or bad, we wouldn't do otherwise, be corporation lackeys. Or do it till we can eject.
This entire image board website is for rebellious, chaotic minds.

>>25253701

I've been trying to get hired by a hedge fund but they don't even look at my resume because I am not educated in finance. How do I get hired at your or other hedgefunds? Serious question. I could make any firm millions of dollars.

>>25253461
As someone who works in buy-side asset management it is 100x easier for an individual to outperform some lumbering behemoth with all the career risk, hesitation, compliance, and red tape bullshit

the fact that professional investment firms make any money at all is fascinating enough given those constraints

>>25254005
>chef

>>25253461
is it better to have a hedge fund around ur property or a fence??

>>25253763
Based autists shall rule the world one day

>>25253701
i can confirm this

>>25253461
i too work at a hedgefund, and it gets pretty retarded around here

>>25253461
Hey anon can you give me a job?

>>25254509
that's a natural outcome when you get enough economists in one room.

>>25254470
leave wendys fag alone, you are probably a one legged nigger

>>25254430
The only way to get into a hedge fund is after finance degree college through an internship or already have experience working in buyside. More difficult to get into a hf through sell side experience. Also depends what position you're gunning for. If you think you'll make millions for a hf you're deluded. No one gives a fuck about your trading history even if you made hundreds of Ks. Thats peanuts, negligible.

>>25253701
I wouldn't trust most grads to do critical thinking, so this is how it should be.

>>25254649

>>25254649

Do not underestimate biz, it's obvious you have only been here for a short period.

Everyone on this board is more smart than you or your hedgefund. No delusion involved.

Just because you can't make millions for a billion dollar firm you are projecting that we, the autistic savants, cannot.

We certainly can make millions or billions of dollars for the boomers.

We are coming for your job.

sage in all fields

>>25254963
this

>>25253561

This is programming in a nutshell

>>25254963
like half this board unironically held XRP

>>25255225
also this

>>25254005
B.A. in wagecucking from Le Cordon Bleu Cheese Baconator

>>25255225
i have never held xrp in my life but it was going to the moon before the SEC shit.

That was a literal black swan event that nobody could have seen coming.

>>25253561
because your boss only hires monkeys who have proven they can dance for their masters with a certificate of indoctrination
i.e. fuck your degrees, fancy toilet paper

>>25255225
we're playing 4D chess
having the SEC coming for brad garlic will make sergey sweat he's next
which should stop the fat fuck from dumping 700k every week
so far he's still dumping but that's probably a bluff
this game is played on a level most people cannot comprehend

>>25254963
>Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword.
Your capitulation is only just beginning OP.

I actually worked at a hedge fund. We bought life insurance policies off old people and cashed them in when they died. It was too boring so I quit and started an ecomm business.

>>25254551

All of my personal wealth is heavily hedged in people who have normal jobs, isn't yours?

>>25255447
can't blame you. super boring, that's what is not stressed enough

>>25255225
tourists

>>25253561
Can you give examples of dumb shit your coworkers do? I really wanna know what being a fund manager is like

>>25253496
i dont work, i just go to school and get neetbux

>>25253461
Going to be starting at a small single manager generalist fund soon, is becoming an industry specialist at a multi manager the move? Kinda like having free reign to look at whatever sectors / strategies interest me

>>25253461
i know some portfolio manager at credit suisse and /biz has way more knowledge than him listening to /biz made me a lot of money meanwhile he seems to be traumatized by the 08 crash.

I mean, do you have any idea what percentage of South American economies are jobs in cocaine?

>>25255543
honestly couldnt tell you. I know the dangers of specialist strat: everyone is too preoccupied with one industry to even give a thought to different industries or strats. Basically, strategies become too rigid, analysts rarely concern themselves w/ macro perspective. Generalist approach may as well be argued as retarded as you do not really get to know the industries. even specialized funds have a hard time keeping track of all info on a handful of stocks.

>>25255673
brokers are fucking retards. You have no idea how many mistakes gs, ms, jpm make in their models. Literal brainlets

>>25253561
that's because most of us never followed whatever the fuck everyone else at school was doing.

>>25255866
thats why youre left with a dick in your hand and no future. Dont get me wrong, most of you are fucking brainlets

>>25253496
no we dont

>>25255817
Thanks anon, the issue you raise with generalist is my main worry, and I'm not sure how easy it would be to transition to a large multi manager organizing their books by industry after spending a few years at a smaller generalist shop if that ends up being my best option. My thinking is that being at a small & nimble fund I'll get quite a bit of nice exposure to a wide range of strategies and industries, along with more experience generating and researching my own ideas than most people my age. For now I'm very happy to just learn the ropes a bit more, I suppose I'll just have to see what's in store for me later

DENY, DENY, DENY

>>25255845
GS makes billions of revenue each year

>>25256138
but more importantly, net income:
https://www.macrotrends.net/stocks/charts/GS/goldman-sachs/net-income
so yeah, "brainlets"

>>25253546
I can feel my autism intensified everytime I spent time here. Should I get help?

>>25256194
GS equity research is garbage, at least of utilities and energy cos

>>25256194
>GS profits = Fee percentage * aum
Wow, much smart

I have a machine that get better long-run returns than any non-closed hedge fund. Who needs Shlomo?

Intnl. suicide hotline copypasta please

>>25256138
>They fool retards into paying thousands for sell side services
>This necessarily means the models they make 1st year analysts do are going to be accurate

Wasn't too long ago that I seem to recall GS shilling EV (including NKLA) and other bullshit SPACs like there was no tomorrow

>>25256194
Cash flow is king baby

guys I wanna work at a hedge fund how do I do it ;_____;
t. undergrad

how much Ethereum has your fund bought

>>25255889
I agree they're brainlets?
But because they didn't follow whatever others at school were doing?

Did you end up in a hedge fund by following what everyone else was doing?

>>25256376
Cold calling one fund whose strategy I liked landed me an internship and a subsequent full time position, gl anon

>>25254649
I would be interested in joining a hedge fund but,
>No one gives a fuck about your trading history even if you made hundreds of Ks. Thats peanuts, negligible.
I could start a incubator hedge fund if I had made that much money through skillful trading. With a trading track record like that, good returns with good risk profile and equity curve. I could find some clients for my hedge fund who are interested in that.

>>25255335
>but it was going to the moon before the SEC shit.

Based on what?

>>25255335
youre retarded. XRP never moons mongo.
The flaredrop screenshot pump was your last "moon".

>>25253461
That wouldn't be a big deal if it was a mutual fund, but a hedge fund is embarrassing. The whole point of a hedge fund is to engage in outside-the-box investment strategies like corporate raiding and using your VP dad's political clout to help you make deals in China. Hedge funds should be high risk, high reward endeavours.
Srsly tho, if you are under 30, investors have no business playing it safe. Get educated and YOLO.

>>25253461
Hey OP, how do I hedge my funds?

>>25255335
>That was a literal black swan event that nobody could have seen coming

Literally everybody that hasn't been brainwashed by the XRP cult saw it coming. I hate XRP so much because it's everything normies accuse Bitcoin of being and XRPlets are everything they accuse us of being and I hate saying their same arguments with the only difference that this time they are right

>>25253461
yes they will be buying my link bags at $1000/link

>>25256138
>>25255845

GS/JPM aren't hedge funds though they may have some as part of their asset management arms. The bulk of their revenues on their sell-side come from investment banking and sales and trading. Sales and trading make money from market making and taking a view within fairly constrictive risk limits. They make money from the spreads they charge and the volumes they get from having large client bases. Their job is not to build complex models and take a position in the market.

>>25253461
>some

>>25253461
only a very mediocre mind would be bothered to write a statement like that. You are far below the average of /biz/ users IQ-wise

>>25253461
I work at an investment bank and I can say the same, but it's more because the level at my bank is low, not because biz is exceptional.

>>25253701
That's the case in every industry. You usually havr two monkeys among 500 that do the creative thinking and then everyone else is just doing worthless opertational tasks that could and should be automated by machines.

>>25257251
Biz is >99% bandwagon, but has a few smart folks

>>25254005
based

>>25255845
I can literally write a list about all the absolutely retarded shit my investment bank assumes in their "models" that you could basically cheat them out of leptokurtic events that they completely disregard. Banks are all about internal politics and keeping up appearances, only about 10% of the employees are actually masters of their craft, and they have to pull the whole boat by themselves, but the ones who get promoted are the politics faggots.