/biz/ - Business & Finance

>>19012112
In a world with government fiat, there’s very little optimization going on.

>>19012112
>letting thots invest for you

>>19012112
Connections.

>>19012112
In case you haven't figured it out by now, if you want ANY job that requires an online application you MUST put keywords in your app so the AI screener can filter you into the positive pile.
And it obviously depends on the position you are looking for...
Janitor? Maintenance? Positive keywords: GED, Army, 'Grew up in'
Banking? Executive? Positive keywords: -berg, -stein, Member of LGBT-, Diversity Coordinator, etc.
Learn to game their system
E

>>19012112
>>19012139
>>19012141
>>19012223
>>19012266

Linkedin is a farce. Look at these people with 500+ connections. Look at all their profile pics.

>>19012266
This approach only gets you passed the bot filters. But an HR rep would easily spot the manipulation or even during an interview when you get caught out for lying

>>19012112
wtf you can go on leave for gardening. life is so easy for women

>>19012335
Gardening leave means she probably signed a 12 - 24 month non-compete in her former job

>>19012323
LinkedIn is not real connections, he means to actually know people and have a good relationship with them

>>19012326
You have to game their system to get your foot in the door...what you do after that is a different game. Young white men are starting to figure this out and unfortunately there's not much to support the cause now. Society and business has taken a turn left over the past 50 years and really really hard left over the past 20 years and there's not much you can do other than 'poke and hope'. I'm glad I'm older and semi-retired and not have to put up with the bullshit that's happening now...you kids really do have it tough and I see it only getting worse.

Bump

>>19012112
This pic makes me rage

I really need Loki to keep pumping otherwise I am not due for a good future

>>19012266
tfw put Berg and Stein in my resume.
tfw suddenly people get back to me about my profile.

>>19012674
Fuck that. I have a healthy stack of linkies, I won't ever have to play those fag games.

>>19013280
Because you're going to kys or what?

>>19012112
Tons of them do end up in some minimum-wage service industry. Others just stop looking for work altogether and then stop being counted in unemployment stats after a certain period. True unemployment is way higher than the official numbers.

>>19012112
>ugly feminists demand financial industry hire women
>"lol ok"
>hire the 9/10 Stacies that bullied them in high school to be eyecandy
Feminists seething.

>>19012266
Building on this, for those wanting to game the resume system, put the keywords in really small white text so the bot can read it but the HR roastie can't. Make it a read only pdf if you really want to be safe. You don't even have to work the keywords into the rest of the resume, just list that shit like it's a 2007 youtube video description.

>>19012112
This is fake. It's photoshopped

>>19012112
>employers only hire based on min-maxing intelligence (IQ), personality and attractiveness.
Maybe Fortune 500 companies do. There's plenty of businesses looking for Joe Average because they'll stick around for 5+ years. When I was doing hiring, I avoided recent graduates and over qualified people because I knew they'd be gone in a year.

>>19012112
I’m wageslaving right now while waiting to see if I passed my interview. Can’t stand another second of this shit. If I don’t get this I don’t know what I’m gonna do

>>19012112
Because what you're missing is that practically EVERYONE is severely overqualified for whatever job they manage to get, precisely for the reasons you listed. That's why you have shit like college grads working shitty service jobs for 12 bucks an hour.

Honestly the only way to actually make it in the current job market as a young person is to lie your ass off. It's better to just straight up lie out your credentials and work experience than to tell the truth.

After graduating, I was stuck in a vicious cycle because I didnt have enough experience as the employers wanted, and I couldn't get experience because they wouldn't hire me. And as time went on and the job gap widened, this only got worse. I couldn't even get any in-person interviews, for fucks sake. Zero opportunity to actually sell myself beyond a piece of paper on some HR cunt's desk. Things only changed when I just completely fucking made up having experience. Only then was I finally hired, and now I make 120k/yr

>>19014167
Thats why you put bullshit consulting projects on your resume that can’t be verified

>>19012112
I received my Bachelor's degree in 2015 and I can tell you what it's like for me personally. Please be kind, I know that I'm a loser.

>was unemployed and living with mom for a few months after college
>started my first job after graduating making $10/hr but it was just 4 months without benefits
>got "lucky" and found a second job right away paying $13/hr but it was also only 3 months without benefits
>had trouble finding employment so moved back in with mom for a few months
>found another $13/hr job that lasted 5 months with zero benefits
>got sick of short term jobs without benefits and they also looked like crap on my resume
>only looked for permanent jobs with benefits...for nearly a year
>desperately needed money so took a $18/hr two month summer job without benefits
>out of work for another 6 months and living with my mom
>employers start complaining about my gaps and erratic work history
>accept a $13/hr job that lasts 4 months without benefits
>out of work for another two months
>desperately need work and money so visit an employment agency
>get offered a 5 month temp to permanent assignment paying $16/hr
>get laid off in March because of COVID 19
>stuck living with mom ever since

>>19014724
Not everyone is a programmer, so that tactic doesnt work for most. Also from what I've heard from /g/fags, employers are now totally writing off those side projects on CVs anyway because of how easy it is to pad credentials with them. They won't even factor that stuff in anymore.

>>19014801
Just lie in your resume.

>>19014801
If I were you, I'd tweak that resume. Don't be truthful about the exact durations and times of those jobs. First, axe the jobs off your resume that would be the least appealing to employers. Then, fudge the start/end dates of the other positions to cover both the times of the jobs you took off, as well as the employment gaps. Boom, now your work history looks far less erratic

>>19014801
Hey, at least you tried.
I've been unemployed since 2013, but in my country, we get life-long unemployment benefits.
It's only 700 Euros per month, but I am kinda lazy and autistic, so whatever...

>>19015095
>life-long unemployment benefits
Sir, what country is this?!!

>>19015164
Austria

>>19012112
Simple. Apply to the bottom 1% of jobs.

>>19012674
>You have to game their system to get your foot in the door...what you do after that is a different game
I got my foot in the door, and about to graduate from HYP, but I can't find a job. Am I fucked?

>>19013907
https://uk.linkedin.com/in/loretta-vill-9a48b361

cope harder

>>19012112
>92.1% of college grads SHOULD be unemployed NEETs, but they're clearly not in reality.
>So question is, where the hell do all the losers in life end up in? And don't say

The thing is that you need to look at it even further, not just overall employment rate.
>How many college grads did internships or co-op?
>What did those grads do during college? Did they network and self-learn or did they play videogames all day?
and so on.

>>19015302
You have to login? Not gonna register there.
My profession would be: NEET

>>19012112
for me it was apply apply apply, study study study. I commuted from home so 0 debt & no real friends after college just acquaintances. I got an ok internship early senior year (after all big companies ghosted me throughout college) and left to a larger company in the same role making double my internship pay.

>TL:DR I have eastern european parents that actually loved me and educated me on finance/debt & I knew if I failed out of college I’d be fucked for life or end up joining the military

t. Business fag that had 0 connections but a 3.9 gpa from a top 50 school


****Also looks max so HR roasties are more likely to hire/talk to/enjoy you, it was shocking how the taller and more fit I got the more job offers came flooding in****

>>19015363
Did you make a linkedin to get job offers? I also have EE parents and I'm about to graduate unemployed

>>19012112
Also even though I went to a top 50 reputable business school most non ((())) classmates I have are still bartenders, mowing lawns, or waitressing. Which isn’t horrible most of the time since entry level business jobs pay insanely low

bartenders in decent areas can make 50kish while the average job posting in business is like 35-40k

>>19015424
I did my school made us take a class in which like 30% of the grade was making a linkedin and resume that would be reviewed by their job placement dept. for quality. A lot of high level business school force you to have presentable benchmarks (i.e resume, capstone projects, linkedin, etc.). We also had to take calculus and advanced stats that the average school doesn’t make you take because normies fail it and cry

>>19015319
This ignores the larger issue at hand. There aren't enough jobs to go around, and this leads to "credential inflation" where everyone is constantly doing more and more to one-up everyone else. "Just network, bro" isn't really a solution to the systemic problem, because if everyone did networking and spent all their free time doing extra work to pad their credentials, employers would just raise the bar and find some other arbitrary measure to filter people. We're long past the point where credentials are even actually about finding people suitable to perform a job. Same reason why we now have shit like people needing masters or professional degrees for jobs that a couple decades ago could be taken by guys with a simple associates. It's why people with bachelor's have worse prospects than fucking high school dropouts used to have back in the day

>>19015496
>I did my school made us take a class in which like 30% of the grade was making a linkedin and resume that would be reviewed by their job placement dept. for quality. A lot of high level business school force you to have presentable benchmarks (i.e resume, capstone projects, linkedin, etc.). We also had to take calculus and advanced stats that the average school doesn’t make you take because normies fail it and cry
Kek. Based state school.

I still can't bring myself to make a Linkedin. Imagine having your entire life viewable for any stranger who googles you.

>>19012266
>tfw German guy with -berg name
not even jewish

>>19015549
I didn't say it's a solution, I don't know what the solution is I'm just saying you can't look at the overall employment rate when there's huge variance in the amount of effort people take

>>19015613
Linkedin is a meme anyway. Those aren't real connections, and the only people you'll actually "link" with on linkedin are grifters looking to sell to you how to... link with people on linkedin. And of course, nobody who's actually successful browses that site. It's just the jobless and the grifters.

It's just faceberg for even faker people

>>19014801
Also received.my bachelors in 2015
>after graduating
>minimum wage job
>quit to jump to slightly better than minimum wage job
>quit and unemployed
>new job
>close to minimum wage again
>fired
>unemployed again
>new job
>like a dollar over minimum wage
>longest held job
>quit for new job
>new job sucks but pays the most about $17.50
>hate it
>quit
>unemployed for quite some time now

Not even trying all that hard to look for a job anymore as less and less job postings are being made.

>>19015706
My point is that the vast majority of those people have put in enough effort to realistically work those jobs. You only interpret it as not being good enough due to the credential inflation that I've outlined.

>>19015095
Woah what country is this!?

>How do you even get a job if you're not in the top 1% of applicants?
You lie and say you're in the top 1% of applicants. Say you have years of experience in the field, say you have various certificates, hype yourself up as if you've been working since a baby and you're good enough to be the CEO. When you get the job that you're clearly under qualified for, try you're best to get the hang of the job before you're fired, repeat the process until you're legitimately qualified.

>>19013791
Top kek

Knowing someone, networking....after applying reaching out to a recruiter and kissing ass saying “oh hi im blah blah i applied for this position what can I do to optimize my chances..” shit like that employers love

>>19015215
I woas ne Rick, das sieht falsch aus

>>19016057
bayern am start, wann machen wir wieder den anschluss? wird zeit!

>>19015826
Austria.
But you still have to apply for jobs.
But they dont want me because of my 7-year gap. kek

>>19016090
Really sucks that wage gaps make you a leper in the eyes of hiring managers. Even a small one is a death sentence, and it just causes a positive feedback loop too.
But moreover, it also sucks because it means that you basically can never ever take a break from working until you're old and on death's doorstep anyway. For instance, lets say I get lucky and make an extra 500k on the side from crypto. Ideally I'd want to use that to stop working and live it up for a while. But I'd still be forced to continue working because if I were to take that time off, I'd never be able to get hired again. The whole scheme is set up such that you're only really able to reap rewards when you're either already old, or you've made so much money that you can guarantee you'll never need to work ever again

>>19013946
Thanks for fucking over white kids that are just entering the work force so you can make your shitty company more money. Very cool.

>>19012112
You wear a wig and say everyone that you're a tranny

>>19016271
That's true, unfortunately.
Luckily, I can live with my mom and I will get a 300k+ EUR inheritance.
So I will continue to live frugally, trade some crypto and buy an apartment that I want to rent out.
I dont really need much wealth, no lambo, just enough to buy food and pay the bills from month to month, once my mother passes away.

>>19012112
easy, anon, you barely make into C tier companies with little benefits, horrible offices and autistic colleagues with little will to live

a thought on a tangent but thats why i appreciate higher education. No matter how much you cucks complain about nepotism and impossible vacancy requirements, if you work your ass off in uni and get the highest honour diploma, thats like 80% of your appeal. You can be a dweeb with one eye but if you present a perfect diploma in the relevant field and are a hardworking person, you will get a good paying job at the top 25% companies

>>19015767
>It's just faceberg for even faker people
Lmfao, thanks for the laugh anon :)

>>19015613
there is privacy settings where non connections cant see your old jobs or current title/ picture

People in this thread are retarded. The job-market is a game, you don't know how to play. There's so many to get a job, it's easy as fuck, the basis of all of them being just fucking lie.

>>19012112
here is a good cheat, but you need an initial investment:

step 1:
>find job you want
>go to online application
>tailor resume to have keywords that reflect the language in the application
>even if your prior experience is pretty far off what the actual job does, shape it into the exact phrases used in the application
step 2:
>find local/online university. not total garbage but doesn't have to be great either
>assuming you have a bachelors in related field, sign up for 1 or 2 master's courses (look for "graduate certificate" it's easier to get into) in the degree of the field you are applying to
>once you get in, immediately add these two courses and the university AND the Master's degree at the TOP OF YOUR RESUME
boom, you now apply as a prospective MS with experience in the field

>>19012112
>How do you even get a job if you're not in the top 1% of applicants?
You don't, companies don't hire incels

I’m at a top target college and applied to 50+ internships this year and got 0 offers. Idk what to do

>>19015927
>this SO FUCKING MUCH

You anons wouldn’t believe how many high level people failed their way up

>>19017043
LeetCode harder nigga

>>19016957
The first step is realizing that you will never be a 1% candiate, so you have to fake it.

You first step should be, go to where resumes are shared, or critiqued and copy all sections, expect for degree and experience. For experience you should even copy the details of the resume because your bullet points won't mean shit.

Honestly your second step is dumb as hell too.
Just make a github, copy someone's repo, change the variable names, or add code from another repo and now you have a git profile. Use this to apply at small businesses, they won't have the resources to find if you actually have faked it, they will just be impressed by your Git. Work at that company for 1, 2 years max, then reapply at larger companies. Use the projects that you worked on at the small business.

Anyone's that recommending investing in yourself is a shill, there's no need to, the people that code the best are usually college dropouts that have spent 10+ years on one skill.

>>19017043
Join the military, fight for israel.
the Zoomer is getting fucked from this, Companies know that employing zoomers is a bad idea as they are even lazier & more self entitled than the previous generation.
At least if you have the military on your CV McDonald's will know you can listen to food orders in the drive through.

How much can I fake on my resume for investment banking internships/jobs?

>>19016957
And then what? You get hired and just hope they never mention the classes again?

>>19017373
you always tell them up front that you are just learning. that's not the point, eveything i mentioned is just to get hired. if you get hired at a decent enough company it is MUCH more difficult to get fired than it is to get hired. once you're in you just tell your team you have some experience from classes but need to learn and theyll be fucking stuck with you. who cares. once you get a job it makes it that much easier to get the next job

>>19016909
>There's so many to get a job, it's easy as fuck, the basis of all of them being just fucking lie.
How do I lie and get a data scientist job?

I have a math degree, but don't know how to code

>>19017174
>LeetCode
Can someone redpill me on this? Will this actually get me a job? I'm also like anon here (>>19017043) and go to a top school

>>19017339
Lol you dumb fuck. You need connections to get into IB. This is what you do cuck, you reach out to alumni from your school who's in IB and hype yourself up over the phone and ask them to connect you to people

>>19015927
>repeat the process until you’re qualified
Holy fuck. extremely fucking based af

>>19016957
Too based

>>19017205
haha yeah man, this method is so retarded it's not like i used it to get a 77k starting salary job in a field i have no experience in, and now after 9 months of being paid to learn the field I'm getting offers from other companies in the field for more money hahaha wow!

just act like chad and everywhere will hire you
pic related

also if the interviewer is an interviewess
leave your zipper undone
supervisor/management tail love that shit
especially the dykes
its supreme alpha code ethics
like its so huge it cant be zipped up

>>19018766
You are happy about 77k with a master's degree?

Wow you sure showed me.

>>19019003
Youre a retard, you dont ever get the masters degree, you take one class and use that to get the job, then quit. Now the job pays for my real masters degree in a field of my choosing that wasnt the original one.

>>19013791
>the Stacies start #MeToo so they stop feeling guilty about fucking their way up the corporate ladder
>women no longer hired at all

>>19016957
Wait so you’re saying apply for an online masters certificate AND enroll in two online classes ?

>>19013865
>>19012266
This is so dumb, but I'm so desperate to upgrade from the wagecage to white collar IT waging that I will actually try it

>>19019065
So you still have to give up 1-2 years of your free-time to get a degree? If you think 2 years spent getting a degree is anyway a good use of your time, you are defintely retarded.

There's no helping people like you, you've been redpilled so much on degrees, it's the problem with your whole generation. Why so many people go to gradschool and end up in debt, while coding chads just end up winning more.

>>19012112
Just go into an industry that doesn't need connections
t. Algorithmic trader

>>19019300
no, you apply for the certificate. a graduate certificate is just half of a masters degree, aka 4/6 courses instead of 10. like any other degree, you apply for admission first, then enroll in the courses. enroll in 1 or 2 courses then slap it on your resume and linkedin and immediately begin applying

What do you think happens?

>>19019382
im getting a masters degree in math for free while learning to code and getting paid for both. enjoy reaching your pay limit as a developer with a BS while i pass you on the left

>>19012266
I have years of experience working for the Steinberg and Bernstein firm. Looking forward to working with you.

>>19019467

You are bragging about being a wageslave.

If you are working more than 10-15 years and have not made enough money to retire, then you've kind of failed. But go be a wage-slave, I am sure you will convince yourself it's worth it.

Unless it was a company with vested stock opitions, I wouldn't think about returning to the wageslave force.

>>19019606
sure pal :^)
my only regret is my taxes will pay for your neetbucks

>>19012112

It don't matter. None of this matter. Credentials are largely useless in this day and age. If you know your shit, degrees are useless. But you have to know your shit inside and out.

Anyway, to make a decent linkedin profile, just go to a photographer's, take a halfway decent picture, upload it; then add a custom background, edit your url so it doesn't just show numbers but has your name, add your work history, a link to your cv or website, a tagline (something vaguely inspirational that has something to do with personal growth, absolutely not witty or snarky or ironic). You can make up your own qualifications or embellish shit somewhat but stay within the realm of believability and be sure to prepare a cover story to justify it if asked.

At this point you should have the basics. Then start looking in your field or fields you want to break into, and start adding people. Keep doing this for a while.

For bonus points, start posting shit that is relevant to your interests and the interests of people working in the field. You can reblog other people's shit but ideally you should be producing content. You can copy other people's homework but be sure to change it around some if you do so you don't get caught; alternatively, use other people's posts as "inspiration" for your own and remix them adding your thoughts on the matter (in this case be sure to give credit tho).

This is basically it. If you're trying to break into any sector that does not involve or rely on physical labour, connections matter a lot, so it pays to leverage them.

>>19012326

>implying HR people are ever competent

>>19019649
Glad you never denied that you are a wageslave.

You accepted your role in society, congrats!

>>19012112
These are Loretta's friends btw, all wealthy white girls. Daddy's probably a private equity partner

>>19012112
you can load your resume with invisible keywords and the dipshit HR sluts won't know the difference.

Also, charisma. I'm thinking almost everyone on 4chan lacks charisma.

>>19012112
in my case with engineering just reaching out to people that work at the company and showing interest can help you land a job. I know it sounds like the boomer tier "talk to the manager and hand him a resume" meme but it seems to work for smaller/government affiliated businesses. you definitely need decent connections for government as I've experienced being interviewed with others only to see that people were picked for the job before the interviews even took place. (for something like usajobs, don't have a work gap, never reveal that you were fired, fill out as much as possible cuz it seemed like people were actually initially picked by HR, not the managing engineers, based on their online applications) it was just a formality that they do, I saw the best qualified guys get turned down but fortunately a couple managed to land the same job months later after reaching out to people.

>>19016398

>Relying on others instead of striding forth and staking your own claim

Absolutely spineless. Fuck man, I would respect you more if you were literally planning to rob a bank or mug strangers, at least there'd be some effort involved.

To the anon that posted, his linkedin with his title, his company, and where he went to school... maybe I will add you on Linkedin, can we connect?

You fucking idiot.

>>19019427
thanks for the hopium
Looks like UC Berkeley offers fREE certifications.
https://www.edx.org/school/uc-berkeleyx
This should be bump in the resume, eh?

>>19017638
>>LeetCode
>Can someone redpill me on this? Will this actually get me a job?
Yes. If you're a programmer, it's this simple, assuming you're intelligent
1. get an interview (usually requires a referral from someone inside that company; going to a couple of meetups consistently is an easy way to achieve this)
2. pass the coding interview, which should be easy if you've hammered leetcode for a few months

>>19020153
uc berkley is pretty legit, id look for a much cheaper and easier to get into place for this purpose. you can look at a real degree you might want after u have the job

>>19020137
jelly and asshurt wagie

>>19012112
hahahahahah finally I can excell. listen here noobs and faggots, this is gonna be a wild ride

Ive done only shitty jobs my whole life. Im 30. Im already a cripple. Atleast I have a nice body but honestly thats not because of the job, most manual labourers look like shrek's retarded cousin. On my part a lil bit of diet plan and good genetics i guess. Didnt save me from fucked knees, shoulders, back, you name it, i have it.

Ive dont 5 years of festival workd to pay my rent in the capitol and pay my fucking studies in a corrupt shitty country. They then changed the curriculum and told me I have to redo a lot of my credits. I told them fuck you and left the country. 5 years of festivals, operahouses, some lower budget movies and weekly night talk shows. Mostly festivals. Lot of junkies, trash sea, shitty pay, shitty people, everyone is a fucking drug addict. Everyone. Wierd as fuck.
Seen jared leto having a mental breakdown behind the scenes (i know he does that in movies so who cares), rammstein doing change over 2 m from me. SOunds ok but the job is pretty fucking boring 90% of the time. Also you are kinda invisible, just a work ant in the eyes of these narcissistic people. Altough blink182, the one with the bass guitar was giving me the wierd eyes while doing a whole concert. It was a lil bit spooky but then I remembered their fans are 16year olds haha. Fun times.
Then I was postman. Fuckin LOOL. Done warehouse work by a heavily overpriced furniture franchise.
Then some intresting parts again, LOL NOT: done some factory jobs by one of the wealthiest family in middle eu. I give a hint, they sponsor almost every major sports. I was the only white guy where I worked so I left very fast... Lets just say if you are wealthy and have power, you dont really have to worry about regulations and safety.
Then a booze making destillery or whatever it is called. Everyone was an alcoholic. I dont like booze so I left, mother was a drinker. Then food factory again.2k

Here's my story, hope it helps one person. Fair warning, I'm not a programmer or accountant, or really anything related to tech or computers. Most people in my career are geologists, hydrologists, environmental scientists, civil engineers, etc...

>Be in grad school during prime 2008 recession
>One of my professors gets the class the opportunity to get an actual field certification (HAZWOPER). Mind you this is industry standard, damned useful, and expensive for companies since it's a 40hr class
>Get the cert, only a handful in the class actually do it
>Apply for an internship, get it. According to boss, of ~120 applicants, only 4 of us had HAZWOPER, which while not necessary to have to be considered, was very useful because it showed we were interested in the field AND the company doesn't have to pay for it. My boss also liked that I was an eagle scout.
>Work at the internship for two years, try to get a fulltime job with the company, but no luck. They werent hiring fulltime since the recession was still going on.
>Take a look at similar jobs online, start editing my resume to be more frank and project-detailed. I made sure to put front and center my certs.
>Interview a few times, learn how to not just be a robot talking about my field interests and goals like some daft schoolgirl. I specifically tell interviewers that if they're looking to hire me for fieldwork or whatever, I have experience working 10-12hrs in 100+F temperatures and I understand safety. I'll get the job done even if i have to make a bunch of phone calls from the field and if the sun starts going down.
>Also mention that I always practice standard decon procedures and i don't wreck equipment or leave it dirty.
>eventually get a fulltime job. a couple years down the line, get a couple more field-relevant certs.

My current job was offered to me out of the blue, solely because they were looking for a few specific certs and someone who can operate more or less independently.

>>19020725
Anon, are you just an educated garbageman?

>>19017638
>You need connections to get into IB.
this isnt the 1900s anymore retardo, stop talking about shit you know nothing about poorfaggot

>>19019065
You need manager approval for education reimbursement retard. Your manager is not going to approve some random masters degree outside of the field genius. Plus you have to send transcripts before being hired. Stop larping

t. Someone actually in a large IT / engineering company

Oh and it is not hard to fire someone. Especially a new hire still in a probationary stage

>>19020538

alright, whatever helps you sleep at night, man.

>>19021361
>>You need connections to get into IB.
Go ahead and apply online from a non-target school. I'll laugh while you do so.

It's easy to make connections now, especially compared to 1900s retard.

>>19019854
Imagine the smell

>>19012112
>tfw unemployed college grad

Linkedin fucking disgusts me. As if nepotism and (((networking))) wasn't bad enough, there's now an entire social network dedicated to it.

>>19021715
i work for a government contractor, my position is systems engineer but im doing a degree in applied math. obviously i couldnt get one in non-stem but math is useful and ubiquitous enough that i can use it in other places and even people in business can get it. i can obviously get it since my job uses math, and with the MS in math i can get a job in many many other fields.
>you have to send transcripts
i never said you claim to have an MS in the first degree, nor did i say that you drop the class. you enroll in one class, but it on your resume, say you are currently taking graduate courses at X university, then list the course(s). all of this is true. they hired me before the semester was even over, and I only sent them the transcript of that one class because I could, they never required it
fuck off

>>19021764
the guy you're replying to was a target schooler and so am i

>>19021949
>i work for a government contractor

No wonder you are redpilled on degrees.

>>19012674
Thanks for the pep talk gramps

>be 23, graduate college
>look for jobs,
>find one marketing job
>go to interview, black female HR rep with short squiggly hair
>notices I have major gaps in work history
>can’t explain it away and look retarded af
>says I shouldn’t have come and to try harder next time
>get up of chair and said FINE YOU BLACK CUNT
>”excuse me!!!&!!$$)!!” she says
>quickly get my stuff and walk to the elevator and go home
>probably black listed now
>currently 25yo and did only one shitty food retail job for 3 months

I wasn’t made for this world. This era isn’t for me..FUCK

>>19021189
i wish. if you get in with waste disposal, you're set for life. unfortunately, you gotta have an uncle in the business or maybe save the life of the owner.

>>19020264
What sort of meetups?
If I learned to code from codecademy should I be able to pass these code interviews?
t. Autist who can code but dropped out of college

>>19022398
le wrong generation

>>19022398
literally lie and say anything. bad surgery, father died, LITERALLY ANYTHING THEY CANT AND WONT CHECK

>>19022470
It too late now for that, I have multi year work gap. I’m literally unemployable. I was praying that a shit tone of people would die this year from Covid and I survive and have better chances with employment but it’s not happening.

>>19021949
Ok so you work for some shitty little shop. Sure you can get by with bullshit antics like that. What I’m saying is that will never work for large companies.

Small firm is simply looking for more revenue and will place you even if you are severely under qualified

>>19022470
Or you can just say you were doing x entrepreneurial work and now you want to work in the industry so you can learn more and be around like minded people aka y bullshit I'm a good worker goy

>>19022561
>this amount of projection
holy shit my man

>>19012112
I work at a major bank like this, believe me, these women make shit. The people that make real money are in the software/engineering side and the real investment banking/finance side.

>>19022607
That’s what I thought. Guaranteed a small business contracting shop. Unimpressive

>>19022129
I go to HYP you dumbfuck, where are you getting your bullshit from?

>>19022700
i work for northrop grumman my man

>>19022733
More like a woman owned small business with the jv antics you pull. Either that or your group / manager are idiots

>>19022733
Sorry I work at a real company (Apple) is this northman thing like a startup or something?

>>19022796
>one of the top 3 aerospace companies in the world
OH NO NO NO

>>19022787
>>19022796
reply to this post you seething nimrods
oh and
>apple
do you enjoy getting fucked in the ass with long hours? im currently getting paid to day trade and shitpost while i leave my computer on and pretend to work. i was doing that before covid too :^)

>>19022836
Look, I travel all around the world for business 3 times a week and I’ve never flown on a Northman plane, sounds like some pump and dump start if you ask me

>>19022715
when?

>>19022868
Yeah getting paid 300k a year to read books on a plane is so difficult

>>19022868
nice. since I started working from home I use a script to keep my PC from locking so that my status shows "available", then I can head out for a few hours in the middle of the day.

>>19022935
uh huh. reply to this post my little slave friend

>slaves arguing over which 1 of their masters treats them better

>>19022902
I'm a senior

>>19022954
You’re lucky I was just banned on my shitposting ip

>>19023032
no i mean when did i ask?

>>19023043
>>19023021
reply. to this. post.

>>19023068
Hey reply to this post

>>19015302
clearly fake accounts
>beautiful women
>british
pick one.

>>19012674
>I'm older and semi-retired and not have to put up with the bullshit that's happening now
>if you want ANY job that requires an online application you MUST put keywords in your app so the AI screener can filter you into the positive pile.
So you personally don't have experience with how recruiting works today, haven't applied for a job in recent years nor hired people in recent years for a company, and you think you are in a position to hand out advice such as?
>Positive keywords: -berg, -stein
Fuck off you old boomer, don't give advice on things you don't know. Fuck, even David Attenborough doesn't give advice for film making because he doesn't feel confident, but here you are, having even less experience in your respective field, and you think you are in a position to tell people how the world works.

>>19016957
they check you degree and grades in some positions and if your swindle gets uncovered you will be blacklisted from every company in the country. also why dont you do it?

>>19015302
>>19023118
FUCK I WAS SIGNED IN WHEN I CLICKED IT, MY LIFE IS OVER FUCK FUCK FUCK

>>19023118
>went to american college
>worked in america for first few jobs
>thinking she's british
maybe this is why youre unemployed

>>19012112
You end up on this board like me.

>>19012112
you don't. the system discards you and they simply don't report you in the unemployment statistics.

>>19023234
This.

>>19023187
Yea a babe on linkedin with 500+ is going to notice another thirsty dude checking her out. She wouldnt even notice you if you messager her a job offer

>>19012323
Linkedin lets you post your resume online and recruiters send job offers. Linkedin is job search on easy mode.

long topic but for anons still here just lie the fuck out of your resume. i worked 1.5 years total full time (30s lolz) but i said all my part times were full tine, said i did all this shit i didnt. they never check. they cant really. they might call your old place andnask if you were good. you could make a plaxe up and have them phone your friend "ceo"

>>19014936
I'm on the hiring team for a recurring position at my employer. We're fairly well thought of as far as employers go.

Normally I have a few seconds to look over a cv during screening. I might also bring it up right before a screening interview. Then it never gets touched again.

Here are the criteria we look for:
1. (CV screen)
- relevant languages and frameworks (two)
- (if no exp) degree with good grades
- (if exp) relevant projects
- general SWE practices (git, system design, code structure, etc)

2. Screening call
- friendly and fun to talk to
- talks well about their projects and hasn't obviously faked
- some basic tech questions (e.g. static vs compiled languages)

3. Tech interviews
- leetcode problems
- system design problems

Basically:
- get a good degree with good grades (otherwise make work level projects and call it a startup; honestly not practical though since at work you would be led by a sr engineer for these)
- be fun to talk to (nerdy autist is not a problem, just not aggressive and/or too serious)
- practice leetcode and system design interviews (leetcode, grok the system design interview).
The rest is nice to have but mostly fluff - focus on the above.

>>19012112
lie

>>19023165

>>19012112
You just dont work and sponge off your parents. If you cant do that you live homeless and apply for government beenefits

>>19023286
I hope you’re right dude, this is my coping thought right now

>>19015302
Who would let a pretty girl manage their portfolio?

>>19017221
>At least if you have the military on your CV McDonald's will know you can listen to food orders in the drive through.

>>19015164
Goddamn that pajeet won the lottery

Have you ever thought about, idk, maybe trying to be in the top 1%? The reason why there is a top 1% isn't genetics, it's about who is willing to put in the work and who isn't. Stop being a lazy bones and you can get after it too.

>>19019382
>>19019467
>>19019606
>You waste 1-2 years to get a masters? You're retarded. Coding chads easily earn more
>I'm getting PAID to do a masters! Idiot
>Lol you're still wageslaving. Of course coders don't wageslave at all no no no... But if *you* do it, then *you* are wageslaving!

>>19022398
>not lying by the skin of your teeth
>sperging out and showing your power levels in front of HR
The absolute STATE of /pol/niggers

>>19014801
>>19015794
You should secure a new job before leaving your old one...obviously temp work and getting laid off is different.

>>19023032
Did you even intern at Jane Street you dummie

being at a target does not help as much as you think
what matters is experience and extracurriculars

>>19023068
But you stopped replying to mine after I assblasted you for being a wageslave

>>19023430
what about a good degree with so so grades but some non school personal projects on git?

And what about also putting school projects on git?

>>19023796

Imagine going to school for a profession that doesn't need a degree.

Imagine getting into debt for a profession that doesn't need it.

No wonder you are unemployed.

>>19024179
>What is medicine, law, engineering, accounting, investment banking

>>19024207
This is by far the dumbest shit. You actively go into debt for "muh valuable degree" and then complain when you don't have a job.

Keep replying, I don't need to be convinced. I already laugh at millions of your peers that have useless degrees.

>>19024318
>Medicine/law/engineering/accounting are useless degrees
>There are millions of medicine/law/engineering/accounting graduates without jobs
Do you think before you speak?

>>19012112

>>19024365
>>There are millions of medicine/law/engineering/accounting graduates without jobs

Yes, are you retarded? Look up the JOLTS report.

>>19024365
In health care, employment declined by
1.4 million, led by losses in offices of dentists (-503,000), offices of physicians (-243,000), and offices of other health care practitioners (-205,000).

Seethe more retard.

>>19024474
You forgot to add "in the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic".
You're really dishonest to leave this out of context

>>19019854
It’s impossible to get into finance let alone investment management without connections

>>19024498
If anything it proves my point, tech jobs are most insulated than the list of degrees that you cockride. Also if you think those jobs are going magically reappear in the coming months you are still retarded.

I spent like half a year unemployed once and just made up some shit on my resume to fill the gap

HR women in charge of hiring are literally retarded you shouldn't have to play their silly games to make money

>>19024628
>If anything it proves my point, tech jobs are most insulated than the list of degrees that you cockride.
>Dude we should only focus on extreme outliers like a pandemic when deciding what we should recommend kids should study!

>>19012112
You're looking at it the wrong way. The average worker in any field, from unskilled labour to top end business is incompetent. The 1% is often untalented people who merely made a larger effort than the 99%.
Aside from the transitional jobs you mentioned where "losers" get some experience that're always hiring, most people end up becoming the top 1% of applicants even if they have no innate ability. There's a point when even the losers grab their socks and put in the effort to get to a point where they say, become a regional manager or a head chef.
In the end you don't have to be good, you just have to be while everyone else is off not being.
>t. incompetent man who figured this out early enough to wheel into well-paying work with job security

>>19024628
Also,
>if you think those jobs are going magically reappear in the coming months you are still retarded.
I never said that? I don't think those jobs are going to be back in a few months, and I never said that. However, they will be back in a few years.
It's absolutely stupid to look at this pandemic and think this is how life is going to be from now on, and from that to go and say "well, programmers aren't getting fired, looks like that's the thing everyone should study!"
Pic related.

>>19023679
lolz at this faggot thinking hes top 1%
no engineer is top1 you stupid goy.

>>19024835
Did you forget the physics degree that I got at the same time?

>>19014167
Is this true or larp

>>19022439
various tech meetups. all big cities have them. if you have 0 experience and no degree, I would get some projects up on github before starting your job search

>>19025071
irrelevant since it's from some shitty no-name university

>>19025310
Got me my job :P

OP your best option is to leave the old system and become part of the gig economy. That's the future of work.