/biz/ - Business & Finance

they've been doing it for years

>Naw man I'm getting kind of tired of you always bumming cash off me, I know you pay it back but seriously what the fuck I can't be your ATM

Wow great plan

>>18694919
No one on 4chan has 100 friends

borrow $20 dollars from 100 friends
move away

>>18694919
congratulations, looks like someone has discovered Ponzi scams. you can go for your masters education with Bernie Madoff as your cellmate at the university of gaping prison ass.

>open shorts with 100x leverage on x company
>Go to x company and break every unit of capital it owns computers, machines, storages, spread a little bit of Anthrax on door handles, release a sex tape involving the daughter of the chairman.
>Get maximum profit
What's preventing me from doing that?

>>18694919
Intrests puts a cog in that plan

>open buy positions on wheat with 100x leverage
>Go to the countryside and burn every wheat field destroying years of harvesting and induce massive supply negative shock
>Profit
What's preventing me from doing that ?

>>18694919
>spend 20 years making 1,000,000 friends
>borrow $100 from each of them
>never talk to any of them again and never pay the money back
>free $10MM now you’re super wealthy

>>18695020
breaking & entering. felony vandalism. 5-9 years in prison

>>18695051
arson. 3-10 years in prison.
you really want to be a prison wife, don't you?

>>18694919
>Tell 100 friends that you'll keep their $20's safe in your vault, they can withdraw it whenever they want.
>Keep only enough for like 2 friends in the vault hoping they won't notice.
>Lend the rest of it out for interest.
>Tell the people you lend it out to that you can keep their money safe in your vault.

>>18695037
What friend put fucking interest for $20 from your friend? Just give him a massage or something

>>18695086
get a load of this homosexual

>>18695051
it's what iran has been doing to iraq for 20 years
it's actually quite funny, and it unironically happened before a couple of hours in some shit city

>>18695086
I'll wear a mask and run away

>>18694919
Thats not how Jews work. Its like this:
>lend $20 to someone who asked to borrow your money on the condition that he returns you $22
>borrow $20 from your Jewish friend who will require of you to return $20.50 and lend it for $22 to goyim who asked to borrow from you
>pocket the difference

>>18695225
Yeah but if the friend you lend $22 defaults you're fucked. Even more fucked if everyone is doing this which then the economy would be amazingly fucked. Holy shit this is why the Muslims banned usury

>>18695340
Usury is normally banned in christianity too
I don’t know where it says in the Bible that you can let jews practice it though

>>18694919
small businesses do this.
>have small store with ~150k worth of inventory
>get 5 x 5k lines of credit from different lenders
>make the due date 6 days apart from each loan
>pay each loan the day before due date to prevent interest (calculated monthly not daily) and max the loan out again the day after
its a way to take out a 5k permanent loan with no interest but you would need a good amount of sales (25k in this case) a month to keep it up

>>18695086
>breaking & entering. felony vandalism. 5-9 years in prison
5-9 beats a 9-5 chum.
Worth.

>>18695445
Dangerously based

>>18695011
No senpai I mean repeat from each pair of friend forever. So a you borrow from each friend once in two months

>>18694919
you can do that too with credit cards and just balance transfer to 0% interest each time they have a promotion.

>>18695067
this is what social media THOTS do

congrats, you unlocked their secret

lol genius

>>18694919
>be me
>working shitty fast food mcjob
>uncle comes to me one day- psst, hey, lemme borrow $20, don't tell your aunt I did it
>later that day, aunt comes to me- psst, hey, lemme borrow $20, don't tell your uncle I did
>my gullible ass lets both of them borrow $20.
>to this day neither one has ever paid me back
>still don't know what the big $20 secret was between both of them.

I mean, it'd be different if I was working for fucking JPMorgan. But goddam, I was working in fast food. $40 is like 20% of my fucking salary. I feel a fucking kind of way about not getting my money back. That was a big sacrifice I made for both of those fuckheads.

A part of me wants to get both of them in a room, say, "Ok, both of you borrowed 20 from me and told me not to tell the other, and neither one of you has ever paid me back. What was that all about? And also, I want my fucking 40 dollars.

>>18694919
Had a work colleague who would bum a tenner every Friday without fail and use it on Monday to pay back the tenner he bummed nine days earlier. Nobody could work out his master plan

It came to an end when he went into a customer’s basement and refused to come up, police were called and he’d ODd

>>18695697
>A part of me wants to get both of them in a room, say, "Ok, both of you borrowed 20 from me and told me not to tell the other, and neither one of you has ever paid me back. What was that all about? And also, I want my fucking 40 dollars.

What preventing you from doing that? Sounds hilarious especially if it's done in a family gathering.

From what I can tell you fren, if you lent someone $20 and they don't payback, that $20 is well spent. Knowing who you can and can't trust is the probably the most important investment a person should make

>>18695086
Glow harder nigger

>>18695466
Checked!

>>18695067
>>18695623
Why run away bagging $10MM but hunted by cops when you can have $5MM for free and everlasting trust among your gazillion friends by using my scheme?

>if you have 100 friends

Uhhh, anon...

>>18694919
Does it work on £

>>18695697
Confront them about it it'd be funny as hell

>>18695123
Now youare performing a service not borrowing

If people were to be my friends, I'd give them 20$ and never ask for it back.

>>18695051
If you're a farmer burning your own crops, nothing is preventing this. Otherwise the law is preventing you from destroying other peoples stuff.
Now a better question is what happens when people start "accidentally" releasing CRISPR strains that kill certain species used for commodities into the wild after taking out crazy leveraged futures contracts on things like crops and farm animals?

>>18694919
based and deficit spending pilled

>Son would you like to work for the Government?
>But first I'll need to check how firm your handshake is.

>>18694919
Jesus this is fucking brilliant

>>18694919

FLAWED.

$20 FROM FRIEND A IS PAID BY FRIEND B.

YOU OWE FRIEND B $20.

BORROW $20 FROM FRIEND C?
IT GOES DIRECTLY TO FRIEND B.

IDIOT.

>>18694919
Repeat that but always ask for 1 dollar more than before
After a few years when you are into the millions you dont pay back the last guy and run off

>>18698250
You borrow from friend A again to pay friend B, and then borrow from B again. So for each pair of friends, they would be sked once in every two months

>>18694919
>get job as software engineer of public company with one main product
>secretly introduce bugs into the software every release
>if bugs don't get caught, buy short position on company
>PROFIT

>>18695107
Don't forget
>Let FDIC handle it in case those friends are calling their money, and ask your mom to bail your out if you somehow still fucked it up

>>18695711
So you're saying that if I'm being good boy and never do what my mom I shouldn't, that master plan could work perpetually? Based!

>>18699767
Are you Zoom developer?

>>18695445
>>18695466
Exceedingly clever

>>18694919
You'd better do something with the first $20 you asked, because the rest of the time you will be just borrowing money to pay debts

>>18695020
the having sex part

>>18695051
retard wheat is harvested yearly and your talking about hundreds of thousands of acres required to burn

>>18697926

>>18702442
>You'd better do something with the first $20 you asked
Lend it to another friend at interest. After he pays it back you can tell him you'll hold onto his money for him and keep it safe

>>18694968
Lol

>>18694919
No, you didn't beat the system. Banks have already thought of this idea a LONG time ago.

>>18702529
Literally use the crude oils he got for free from May futures. What's more, wheat is mostly produced in connected line from Oklahoma to North Dakota, making the distribution of fire from Cushing is uncannily splendid plan. You would probably ending up burning the entire state of Kansas, though

>>18695011
but why is this illegal exactly?

>>18695123
>interest is outlandish
>massaging your friends is totally cool though