[ 3 / biz / cgl / ck / diy / fa / ic / jp / lit / sci / vr / vt ] [ index / top / reports ] [ become a patron ] [ status ]
2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/biz/ - Business & Finance


View post   

File: 2.53 MB, 375x210, giphy.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
18621678 No.18621678 [Reply] [Original]

>decide to invest in a stock
>the price immediately tanks

>> No.18621720

>>18621678
I HAVE THE SOLUTION!

You buy 100 shares of stock. It goes down.

Sell 1 share every day. The market senses this, and the Price goes up to punish you selling.

>> No.18621724

>>18621720
Holy shit this could legit work

>> No.18621731

>>18621678
wait for the dip next time

>> No.18621736
File: 224 KB, 808x805, JUST.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
18621736

>>18621678
Like clockwork.
I swear ALL OF YOU are fucking with me.
Is this a game to you?
You havin a laugh mates? At my suffering?
I make the most rational decisions and then it blows up in my face. like clockwork. EVERY. TIME.
Fuck you /biz/
I know you all are trying to make me an hero
But i wont
This prank can't last forever
I will make my gains back eventually
>eventually...

>> No.18621737

>>18621678
next time you get the urge to buy something, short it instead. Thank me later

>> No.18621814
File: 69 KB, 720x720, 1530066072763.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
18621814

Buy 100 SPXL and 100 SPXU

sell the one the goes up each day = free money

keep recharging the one that goes down

>> No.18621932
File: 301 KB, 1000x800, 675.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
18621932

Everything i buy goes down
Everything i sell goes up

>> No.18622013
File: 34 KB, 480x480, 1587046399837.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
18622013

>>18621932
that's the /biz/ way

>> No.18622058

WTF THE PRESIDENT'S SON SAID TO BUY STOCKS RIGHT BEFORE THE BIG CRASH. HOW CAN THEY GET AWAY WITH THIS?

>> No.18622085

>>18621678
what the fuck are you guys buying jesus christ, I must know so I can stay the fuck away

>> No.18622111

>>18622013
and the fun part is that in theory i'm buying after the dump and selling after a pump yet it always seems to dump or pump a bit more just because i made a move

>> No.18622154

>50% short
>50%long

What now bitch?

>> No.18622168

>>18622111
as long as you made money it isn't bad, I'm long term and more buy and hold.

>> No.18622232
File: 67 KB, 580x326, main-qimg-46672745bf29bbaa56ec14982b992ee1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
18622232

>> No.18622250

>>18621814
If you do this, market will crab.
The headlines:
>Amazing 0% moves in all markets today as anon tries to make money. When will be learn?

Meanwhile leveraged and inverse etfs lose money in crab market.

>> No.18622297
File: 67 KB, 1002x537, jiggy.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
18622297

>>18622250
hedge with QYLD

>> No.18623368

>>18622297
>This just in, all NASDAQ stocks shot past their strike prices for 1 second then immediately slid back to 0 out in the day.

>Global X announces mandatory redemption of all QYLD shares as all covered calls got assigned for sale.

>> No.18623460
File: 138 KB, 820x661, 308-3081643.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
18623460

I have tried futures a few times and ALWAYS goes the other way, in my first attempt the market was sterile and i had like 3 contracts with less than dollar on profit so i went to take a shower, i returned just to watch the margin at -80% and my account getting liquidated in the following seconds. lost like $70

>> No.18623788

>>18622154
>Crab market until the day after your options expire, then explodes in whichever direction makes you feel worse.

>> No.18623808

>>18621932
Buy SNAP

>> No.18624108

>>18622154
You make no gains, but have potentially infinite lossess