/biz/ - Business & Finance

Company that makes and distributes fortune cookie with deliberately negative/unnerving messages ("Have someone else start your car", "sorry about the baby", etc). To be mixed in with normal fortune cookies at a small ratio as a gag.
Could also be sold as singles in retail with a 'collect them all' scheme
Misfortune Cookies, Inc.

Large scale gas chambers

A private military dedicated to conquering south East African coast nations to establish a larger engulfing country able to trade precious metal, fish, and fruit

>>18347206
Telekinetic hugs

>>18347206
Rent buildings then lease office space

>>18347442
faggot did you not eat your dose of smegma for the day from your massa?

>>18347206
nacho warmer

>>18347206
>PayPoo
You pay for a pajeet to shitpost in your place while you wank to sissy hypno

>>18347442
>East African
I have 75 acres of family land that I need to re-appropriate in Zimbabwe that was stolen by the Mugabe Government. Shift your focus to Manicaland and I'm onboard.

Create a non-profit (but pay yourself a ridiculous salary anyway) that makes toilets near the side of the street in India. Create another company that fines pajeets that poop on the street.

>>18347442
Wonga coup pt. 2

>>18347206
penis lengthening pills for white boys (but actually they are just m&m)

We can earn billions before they figure it out

>>18347487
> while you wank to sissy hypno
don't do this
i'm gay now and i wear stockings while i fuck my bf

>>18347523
poo in loo was caused by socialist-communist government in India

The right wing government solved that issue in 6 months, poo in loo is literally a stale meme chang

Okay
listen to this, okay?
It's a service that helps people in suicide die, BUT we actually take the suicidal people and stuff them full of ecstasy and LSD till they have a ego death then train them to be maid sexbots...?
so what'd you guys think?
...?

>>18347523
>pajeet poops
>you company tries to fine him
>he has no money
>he has no id cause pajeetland
>you go broke cause toilets are unused

Alright....so like...what if we sold farts in jars for like $3.50 each. The jars about a $1 there's virtually no overhead selling on ebay and amazon and we can supply the farts ourselves very easily.

>>18347724
shit idea you should be ashamed of yourself

>>18347297
Im gonna steal this idea if I ever start a fortune cookie company, thanks fren

How about an entire economy that is just millions of capital management firms all lending money to each other and borrowing money from the FED?

Still pondering the idea of a non profit that helps disabled veterans.

>>18347206
I wrote a white paper a few years back when the ico boom was happening. The idea is still genious but I'm too retarded to bring it into the world. I'd need years of programming ability or some autist to steal my idea and make millions of it and leave me a coping retard who never figured out how to make it real

Brothels for rich women

Take 11/10 men
Market them as male courtesans for rich lonely women focus on prestige for the discerning woman with lots of testimonials to rope then in including viral marketing


Portray the men as successful and rich in their own right

Train the men in flattery and companionship

Get the women to buy overpriced champagne and other things in exchange for ego boost and flattery

Make $10,000 on each booking per day on top of $500 profit per champagne bottle etc

When one of the male whores get especially profitable license his likeness for $$$ on lifestyle products that roasties will pay for like romance kindle novels, alcohol and chocolates

>>18347873
>Take 11/10 men
you dumbfuck retarded, guys looking like that know what they are worth

>>18347206
>set up manufacturing companies in India’s poorest slums
>make them work for 24 hours and pay them shit
>sell all the shit they make to west and China

A fertilizer making company that collects dog and cat poops from apartments and uses it to create manure and fertilizer and sell it for cheap to Walmart and such

Suitshirts.

The top looks like a suit so you can look professional from the head up on video calls, but the rest is a comfortable t-shirt.

I'm asking 3 million dollars for 5%, Sharks.

a trading advice service with an algorithm based on the average number of green/bull/ooooooooh pictures or red/bear/aaaaaaaaaaa pictures in the /biz/ catalog

>>18347932

This is pretty good

>>18347873
Dude they have those in Japan already they’re called host clubs. If your gonna rip off the nips I think capsule hotels could work in the west with all the broke renters post corona.

>>18347724
>repent zoomer

>>18347720
shitskin detected

>>18347992
what the fuck i had the exact same idea. an algorithm that tried to detect whether people were generally positive or negative and bought and sold as a result and constantly scanned /biz/ and other forums

>>18348747
I buy whatever biz is shilling as soon as I get a scent of it. Sell after a 4 or 3x and don't look back. Right now I'm thinking SUTER will be the one.

>>18347206
It's like Tinder, but for people who want to fight.

>>18347911
Thirsty on main

>>18347206
You suggest to imagine shit for the masses in order to sell them solution for nothing happen problem . Profit is private and expanses social, that is best business model to day.

A machine that strips any junk you put into it into its constituent atoms. Cities pay you money to reduce their garbage, you sell the minerals etc to industry.

Alright guys, let's head over to /sci/

>>18347750
Gamer dude farts

>>18347932
>>18348016
Consider the labor of collecting your half gallon of kitty litter..and the cost of storing and treating it so it becomes good manure. Now you sell that half gallon to walmart for $0.5. Doesn't look very good.

>>18347206
coding a pro UND bot that will 5,000x unification + then take up all staking space making me a billionaire.

It's like Uber but for hookers

>>18347487
>while you wank to sissy hypno
how can people wank to this
I mean it's hot but there's a. barely any content (relatively speaking, for me, I'm a huge coomer)
b. it honestly gets stale after a while

tfw too much of a porn addicted coomer to become gay

Oh there's like a thread going on or something uhhhh we gotta streamline 2d porn commissions somehow, make it easier for coomers to commission stuff (and easier for coom artists to make money), it's really a win win

>>18347206
a coffee shop were you can pet cats

something with AR or VR. The next big thing.>>18347206

>>18349411

Get abused women or men addicted to drugs. Have them stay at a house of my choosing and get them to sell their bodies for sex. Obviously they will need to pay for rent and the drugs. So I'll take the money they make from selling their bodies and call it even.

Make and sell like whatever the opposite of fire is

>>18347805
sharing is caring

>>18347932
>>18348016
>>18349557
Retards. You can't use human, dog or filthy cat poop as a fertilizer and i'm not telling you why because fuck (You) i had a brilliant business idea till i read your low IQ nigger posts.

Pay slav to write a '''white paper''''. Pay dozen NEETs to shill it on 4channel. Sell on the pump. Buy Jess Khater to be my foot mistress

Popcorn reseller here. I used to collect the popcorn from the floor of the kinoplex and then resell them for max dosh. Corona chan has killed my biz though guys :(

>>18347405
Based

>>18347475
Okay wework. Invite me to the parties please

>>18347724
Mkultra literally tried and failed this. Most the could do is give people amnesia

>>18347206
Nigger whips
Each whip also gets you 1% equity in the slave labor

Sunasses

>>18347297
Got the reference

dating app that only matches you with your exes

>>18349411
That’s actually genius you can sell the legal services to arrange the fight as well. And have local leader boards. And of course the obligatory gambling.

>>18347206
Veggie garden across the street. Lot is (was) $11k. I will put down 1/2. Florida so extra growing season. May need full time security to shoot tweakers.

It’s like an airbnb for physical books, or i mean you can rent them for a small payment. Yes audiobooks are crushing it but still peiple want physical you know

>>18351433
debating whether to message an ex again, she actually responded nicely when i messaged her about the expanse.

you go around and take things then sell them on the internet.

>>18347720
>The right wing government solved that issue in 6 months, poo in loo is literally a stale meme chang
Hahahahahahha you fucking wish, Durgesh.

>>18351676
simp

>>18349411
Fightr, obviously.

>>18347206
Buy and sell pepe edits

>>18347442
I am in!
Finally a startup that's not some chinky dinky app but a real adventure!

>>18351676
Well you have nothing to loose, maybe your dignity but you will know for yourself

>>18347206
Quantitative trading firm that focuses on what I call 'perfect trading' - For a certain amount of capital, you can generate upwards of 100%+ returns with 0 risk.

>>18347503
Mugabe seemed like a great guy
He had his shithole in check and not get it raped by shitty tribal wars
Miss him!
also: nigger

>>18347805
Why dont you larp an ico around that idea

>>18347206
HOW THE FUCK DID YOU MANAGE TO START A THREAT WITH ACTUALLY INTERESTING IDEAS AND NOT JUST SHITCOIN TRANNIES

>>18348793
>SUTER
What's that. I havent even seen that. All i see is that fuckin idena shillery

Kidnap people and sell their organs, but do it legally.

>>18352118
>expropriated land
>in zim
>nigger
Did they never teach you about this anon?
>american
ah that makes sense

>>18350966
Cringe

>>18351676
Imagine being left by a (wo)man

AI-Powered Numismatic grader. Hold your phone up to the coin yo'd like to grade, uses a database of several MILLION previous examples of the exact coin you're looking at, and offers a grade based on best guess.

Charge LCS owners $35/mo to hold their phone up to a coin and have it immediately graded. Takes ALL of the guesswork out of purchasing, and has a HUGE potential market.

>>18347805
>genious
apparently you aren't

>>18350927

Roasties already sellin bathwater.

I make and sell my own plasma desu.